Daycare/husband Problem

I am not sure how practical this for you, but have you tried looking for a daycare closer to your work. This way you will not have to drop off so early. I know most places charge more for an "extended" day, so a daycare closer to work might also save you money. Good Luck

I know it's a terrible time to look for a new job, but try anyways! Go on monster.com and start your search! It never hurts to look, right?

You also need to sit down with this staff person and explain what's going on. She feels disrespected, but probably has no idea how frantic you're feeling! Maybe after work one day, when you're not in a rush? But do it immediately!

And finally, I know you hate conflict, but your husband is being a pill! Why is his job more important than yours? You are stressed about being late too, and I have a feeling your commute is way longer. Right??? Take a deep breathe, and tell him to HELP YOU! He is taking advantage of your peaceful nature, rather than appreciating it.

Don't be a martyr! You've got enough on your plate without a husband who's being a pain. We've all been there, hon. And we've all had to kick their butts a little bit to get them to help!

Good luck!

Your hubby needs to pitch and help with his daughter. That being said you can try to streamline your morning a bit by making sure everything is ready to go. My hubby use to get all 4 of the kids out the door for school every morning easily because I had all the backpacks ready by the door, lunch boxes clipped to the backpacks, jackets, gloves, hats on top of the backpacks. Clothes piled at the bottom of the beds, cereal bowls on the table with the boxes ready to be poured. I'd do everything the night before and it helped cut the morning stress.

You said you signed a contract for a 6:30 drop off. So you are paying the center from 6:30 until your contracted pick up time. The director should not be having an attitude about the drop off time since she is being paid starting at 6:30. If you are 15 minutes late then she's still getting paid starting at 6:30.

Dear ER

First of all you must go to your director and first apologize for your tardiness and ask if there is anyway you can change your hours. Just because she has not approached you does not mean that she is not aware and that your coworkers have not approached her with complaints. I am a director and when you have employees who are always on time and in some cases early they will become resentful of someone who is late all of the time (regardless of your situation) So you need to be proactive not confrontational. Explain to her that you need your job, and is there anything they can do to help out the situation. As far as your husband he is being unreasonable, didn't he lay down and have this baby as well!!!! Sorry for being so graphic but it really ticks me off when childcare and all of the responsibilities fall on mommy. Especially when she is willing to go to work and help to support her family. Tell him you can always stay home with the baby and he can supplement the income on his own. I know you said you do not like confrontation but remember you will only get what you ask for and in some cases demand. You are upset and crying eventually you will become angry and resentful and the person who will suffer is your precious baby. As far as having difficulty getting out the door, have you tried showering at night and make sure you have all of your clothes and the babies things laid out so it can help you get ready in the morning. I did a lot of prep at night so my mornings are less hectic, make lunches, pack diaper bag, having a routine will really help. Is there a stay at home option for you or do you need to work? I would also suggest you get your resume together and start looking for something closer to your home and more convenient for you. It will take time with the economy the way it is but it is much less stressful to look for a job when you have one. I really do advise you to talk to your boss immediately. I know myself if you did not approach me I would assume you didn't care about your job. On top of receiving complaints from fellow employees I would have to consider my options. I hope things work out for you. Good luck!!

Edit,
I misread your response I though you said your coworkers were giving you the cold shoulder. That's what happens when you read responses when you are half asleep!!!! I still would approach the director and see if you can work out another arrangement. I agree with Hannah your child's caregiver is probably feeling frustrated. I have been on both sides of this situation as a former preschool teacher and now as an owner. Sorry for the misunderstanding.

First definitely speak to the director(to see if you can fix things) and apologize when you are late...
Second, compromise with the hubby...alternate days...everyother day or every other week...I mean he was involved with making baby and now needs to be involved in caring for baby too! Third, if you are unhappy at work, look for a new job...do you work because you have too?? or because you want too??? (that also has an effect on hubby taking your child to daycare as well...if you need your income...he needs to suck it up!) Fourth and most importantly...make life easier on you now...get everything ready the night before...pack the bag, all food items have them ready in the fridge so you can toss them in the bag as your walking out the door...eat breakfast in the car (they have these breakfast boxes now, for kids a box of dry cereal, juice box and a fruit bar... you can even leave them in the car after you buy them so you always have them!)
you can also lay out all your clothes, her clothes, your coats, boots you name it...and if that's not good enough bath her at night and dress her before she goes to bed a cotton shirt and pants are just as comfy as pj's then all you have to do is get yourself ready, let her pee and go!!
If you have the tv on while you're getting ready...turn it off, listen to the radio on the road...tv slows everyone down!!! Good luck, I hope it all works out!

I don't have too much advice, except that I really feel badly for you. I don't know what I would do if my husband didn't help with the daycare at all. I guess my options would be to cut my hours and work less so I can drop off and pick up. My son really takes his time in the morning too, and doesn't like to be rushed. It's funny to us, but thank god our schedule allows that. I think the earliest I've been able to get him to daycare is 8:30 am and that's with me rushing him. In the mean time maybe you can keep your eyes open for another job. I don't like the idea of the daycare close to your job, only because I'd hate to have my child in the car everyday for long rides with the dangers of the road and all. In anycase, good luck to you. I can feel your frustration, and it is very difficult to have total responsibility. Maybe you and your husband can talk and work something out. As for the daycare, they should not have any attitude even if you are late, you are paying for them to be there at a certain time and it is that person's job to be there at that time regardless! I would say to her "is everything ok?" just so she knows you notice the unpleasantness. If that doesn't work talk to the director. Good luck to you.

I'm sorry you are so stressed. It's hard to coordinate doing everything in the house AND working full time AND doing childcare duties. And you have a ridiculous commute. And I find it's harder to like my job now that I have kids.

After a year of me doing all the daycare commuting, I realized that if I could get to work sooner and skip the 30-45 minutes involved in one end of the day, I could be more productive at work (therefore like my job a little more), and maybe even get out earlier to get home with the kids earlier. A happier wife is a happier husband...Here was our solution:

My husband takes the kids to daycare every morning and I pick them up at the end of the day. We leave the house at the same time (7am). I help him get the kids into the car and then we're all off! It's not a simple task! We get everything ready the night before (lay out clothes, pack lunches, prepare breakfast, fill sippy cups, load the car etc.). If we don't have time for breakfast at the table, we serve breakfast in the car (cereal in a snack cup or baggie, cereal/granola bars, gogurt). OK, so your daughter is 3. Are there things she does that makes getting ready take longer? Maybe you can lay down some groundrules with her about how mornings go? (maybe daddy can do this!) My husband loves to be more in touch with the daycare teachers and with getting ready. He became a fully involved parent and he feels more sure of himself as a dad. I think sometimes dads are afraid to do stuff and then they make excuses not to "help out." When in fact it should just be assumed they do half the work.

About the staff not being nice. Talk about your awareness of not being able to get out of the house on time - maybe ask for suggestions from them of how you could make it easier? They might open up to you a bit? And the other thing is this: we have a staff person in our infant room who is a total BEAR in the mornings. It drives us nuts. But when I ask her personal questions, try to make conversation with her or something, she warms up a little. Takes the edge off. I feel better about leaving my daughter with her!

If you don't like how your daughter's teachers treat you when you drop off, whether you are late or not, you should talk to the director. I had to do this with a few problems in our daycare and it made a HUGE difference! The director immediately helped solve the problem, and I didn't feel like I even had to be confrontational. You can call the director some morning after drop off and ask for him/her to set aside a few minutes to talk (preferably in person, but the phone is also OK). And remember, daycare providers don't get paid much (usually less than $10 an hour). It sucks to arrive at work at 6:15 to get a classroom ready for a child that is arriving at 6:30, who then doesn't arrive on time. I haven't heard of having to sign a contract for a specific arrival time, though. I think that's weird...(sorry, I just haven't experienced it! and I probably wouldn't choose a daycare that restricted me like that - every morning with a toddler is different).

Have you ever considered getting an au pair? I had a lot of trouble with my daycare center. After years of struggeling I decided to get an au pair. It works out great since they are live-in's. You should look into it. I use Cultural Care Au Pair. At this point I'm also a Local Childcare Coordinator for them. I feel so great about the program. It helped me a lot to have somebody in the house that is able to help out and love my kids like they are their own.