Daycare/education

my kids are in day care and they dont learn much..

I teach them at home and they learn a lot..

they play with kids at school and eat snacks..

I am the teacher.

Just relax and let them play!!

In my experience, daycare is good if you need it, but it's not the end-all. My son went to daycare and learned all sorts of stuff. He learned about Power Rangers and their fighting moves. He learned bad words. He learned what it feels like to be bitten... by two different kids. As for the academic stuff, that really didn't start until he was in "Pre-K." He was four before he wrote a letter from the alphabet.

Conversely, my daughter is at Grandma's house while I'm working. To be honest, Grandma's background is early childhood development, and yes, I realize how lucky we are to have her. Our daughter has been recognizing all written letters of the alphabet (and maybe 22/26 signed letters) for the better part of a year now (she turned 2 in April). She knows her numbers up to 20 and spends a lot of time "drawing" and doing other things that she thinks are just a lot of fun, but that are teaching her what she'll need to know.

If your youngest is still not happy going to daycare, and there's a family member who can safely take care of him, I'd put him where he's happy. Same for your son. If he's happiest with his brother, there's no really amazing reason to separate them at this point. They are both so little still.

As for the social aspect, there are many other ways to meet those needs. We are friends with several parents who had their babies at the same time we had our daughter. When they were infants and most of us were still at home, we got together quite often. It's less frequent now, but we see how the kids progress in playing together. Depending on your schedules, I'd look for a play group or even a "Mommy and Me" or "Daddy and Me" class for each of the kids. We found our group through our childbirth educator, but I've also seen postings at children's resale shops and other places.

E. -- my biggest piece of advice: CHILL !!!!!! Your wonderful little boys are in PRE-school. This is a time for them to develop social skills, small/large motor skills and how to learn in a group setting. "Academics" should be secondary at thier ages. You might want to get some good books on child development so you can become more comfortable with what is age appropriate. I think you'll find that at the end of kindergarten, the child who could read/write at age 4 is no further ahead of the child who came into kindergarten not reading or writing. There is also a big difference in wanting and encouraging our children to do well and expecting them to excel in everything. Be a loving, encouraging parent; not a "helicopter".

I think you're expecting a lot from your 3 1/2 year old...Every child starts reading/writing on their own time. At 3 1/2 they are still developping the motor skills to actually write at all!

Give your son some time...my oldest is five and up until about eight months ago had NO interest in reading and writing. We didn't push it at home, but he did have certain things he had to do at school. All of a sudden he decided to take an interest and now he's writing all of his letters, knows all the sounds for the letters, can spell three and four letter words and is starting to read. It's like a light just went on...it's not anything different that we or the school did, he was just ready. I'm sure he'll do so well in kindergarten this fall!

As for your youngest, it's really hard when they change daycares once they are older...it takes time to adjust. I'd give it some time...

Good luck.
-M

Child care settings are not actual preschools. They would be teaching the same things whether they are advertising preschool or not. They have certain standards they have to go by and they can advertise they are "Preschool" without having any educational teaching credentials. Child care workers only take about 20 hours of child care training a year and they are not teachers in the sense that an actual elementary school teacher is. They do their job exceptionally well, they take care of their classes, they love the kids in every way, they are the surrogate mom and dad, and they build their self image and self esteem every day.

If you want your kids to learn actual preschool material then find a 3 year old Pre-K in your area for your older child. Then when your other child is old enough enroll them too.

I had my son in preschool when he was 3 and he was taught all the things you mentioned - counting, writing etc. If your kids are happy in school, I would leave them there or put them in another school that better meets your needs academically. Even if it doesn't seem that they are learning they really are learning to socialize, they are learning fine and gross motor skills and they are learning to be in a structured school environment. Did you speak to the teachers about what they do with the kids as far as teaching them the things you mentioned? Speak to them first before you make any decisions. If you feel they still are not doing enough then find another school.

The school really can't do much to make your 2 year old speak more. He has to do that on his own when he's ready. As long as he is understanding everything you say to him, he'll start speaking more as he gets a little older. If you feel he has a problem and is not understanding you, then you should talk to his doctor about testing. Some kids just take longer to speak.

As far as splitting up the kids - you have to do what's best for each of your sons as individuals despite the fact that they are attached to each other. They are different ages so I assume they are not in the same class and they only see each other on the playground. If splitting them up is the best solution for their individual needs/development then do it. It will give them the opportunity to socialize with other people without their brother around. It allows them to make new friendships and learn to play with other kids. They will look forward to seeing each other when they get home after school. Most kids don't get to go to school with a sibling and they do fine. Your sons will be fine if they are not in school together. The 2 year old may still need another year before he's ready for school. Maybe he can go part time and be with your Aunt part time?

Are you working with your boys at home on counting, etc.? Was your Aunt working with the boys on counting and colors and reading? No matter what the school is doing, the key is to work with your kids at home as well. Schools can only do so much and parents have supplement at home as much as they can. I have read to my son every night since he was 1 year old (he can read now so he'll read to me and sometimes I'll read to him). I would use every situation/opportunity as a learning experience. When my son was 2 he would ask for "one more minute" in the bathtub, so I told him that a minute is 60 seconds and we would count to 60 together. After a few times he got the pattern down and could count by himself. By the time he was 3 he was counting to 100. I would explain everything to him (that was appropriate for a child to know) in adult language to help his vocabulary. If you are already doing these things at home, then your sons are learning even if they don't seem to be. If you are not doing these things, try it and see if it helps help improve.

Good luck with the boys. Hope this helps. Your sons are still very young and I"m sure they will be fine no matter what you decide to do.

there are a few issues: where will the boys be happiest? what is logistically feasible for you? how important are academics at this point?
It sounds like your oldest is happy where he is. If you are concerned about academics, talk to the teachers and get their take - both on your son (is he just not interested at this point?) and the school's philosophy.
Your younger son sounds like he's a little slower to warm up to new situations. Is it workable to send them to 2 different places? Is it important to you for him to work through his discomfort or is that secondary right now?
The other issue is his lack of language. What is the current school doing to encourage and support his development? He should have a few words at least by this point and be making communicative attempts. You can really support this at home as well by modeling good speech, commentating everything you do and encouraging him to attempt to approximate words. When he wants a cookie, saying "uh uh!" is not enough at this age. You can say, "You want a cookie. Mommy, I want a cookie" and encourage him to at least attempt "want cookie". "Wah Kooh" would be a great attempt.
If you are really concerned about his speech and langauge development, you should contact your local regional center for an evaluation. It is free.
Good luck!

Preschool is one of those wonderful opportunities where you get to decide from a large variety what you want your kids to get out of their school. Some preschools are "college prep", some more artsy, some work on personal responsibility, or social/emotional development, while others instill a respect for the earth and nature. I guess you need to really figure out what the school's forte is and go from there. I have found that the schools that are the most structured about academics are the most strict with enrollment policies and would probably not accept a child until 2 years before they will enter kindergarten, so this would work for your older son, but the younger one would need some other kind of care until he is old enough. I guess you will need to evaluate your choices or schools and their policies and strengths and see if you can find one that works for you. And by the way, the really do absorb more than you think they do at school. He may not be ready for the SAT's, but he will learn to read at a time that is appropriate! He's only 3!

Hello, I don't know what the daycare there is like. However, I can say that each child learns at their own rate. My oldest grandson wanted nothing to do with learning numbers, letters, etc. He loved to be read to. We would go to Story Time at the Library each Wednesday. He loved it. Afterwards, he knew that he would get to pick out 5 books. He never wanted to get books from the adult side of the Library. I would have to make him let me get him books from the children's section. Anyway, he learned all about science, history and a few children's books about other cultures. He is now in all excelled classes getting almost all A's. He started kindergarten with little knowledge about the alphabet and numbers, but learned very quickly. I was quite worried, but now it doesn't matter. Our other grandkids were a little more intersted in the learning part. My second one (we had custody from 5 months to 3 1/2 years) was counting to 20 in English and Spanish by two years old and to 10 in Japanese. He also knew his alphabet very early, he is also gifted as well as the third grandson. We aren't sure about the last three. They are very young. I would not worry. If your Great-Aunt wants to watch your sons, maybe that is the place for them. If they are happy with being there, there will be time for them to learn the other things. Also, as far as the talking, my oldest grandson didn't really talk until he was three. Talk about being worried. He is very articulate now.
Good luck with your precious family.
K. K.

Children develop at different rates. I think it's lovely that you are putting them in situations where they can be around other children. But at such a young age, all the emphasis on academics seems like it might be stressful. My husband didn't learn to read until first grade, but went on to get a master's degree in physics.

The child who learns earliest isn't necessarily the child who ends up progressing the most satisfactorily. Emotional intelligence has as much (or more) to do with long-term success than intellectual capability does. Hopefully, they will end up with both, but pushing too hard can cause problems. At this age, I think security and emotional support are more important than reading or writing.

Good luck!

I wouldn't worry about it too much yet. He's only been in the educational setting for a little over 3 months, so their opportunity for learning and exposure has been very limited. Does the great aunt have the ability/capacity to teach them what you're wanting them to learn? Or would the preschool be a better avenue for that?

It's only been 3 months, it's not surprising your younger child would still be upset at drop off. Heck, my 3 1/2 year old has been going to the same place since he was 9 months old and he STILL has days when he gets upset at drop off. Of course, as soon as I am out of sight he is off and playing, having a great time. Call the daycare 5-10 minutes after you leave to ask his teacher how he is doing. Chances are he is fine.

My kids have responded VERY well to a DVD by Leap Frog called Letter Factory. My kids are the same age as yours, maybe slightly older, almost 2 1/2 and 4 and although my stay at home kids are doing all the thing that you wish yours were doing, that doesn't mean anything in the grand scheme of things. Yours may just be at a different pace and excel (past the early bloomers) in the long run. I'd suggest you let them have comfort and joy right now and worry about scholastics later. If they learn all of the kindergarten stuff early, I've heard it can make them bored & disruptive in school because there's no challenge. If you let them grow comfortable and happy now, the other stuff will come. Insecurity can screw them up for life!!

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