My daughters father lives in a different state than we do. He wants information about her daycare! Do I have to give him the daycare providers phone number and address? We are in the middle of a custody agreement right now. I don't feel that he needs all that information because he has no reason to talk to his daughter while she is there! The GAL in our court hearing agrees with me that they (father and daughter) don't have to have visitation while she is there. Her father is manipulating and I'm afraid that he will manipulate the daycare provider. Should I give it to him after I tell the daycare provider that he doesn't need to know any information other than she is adjusting well and she is a well behaved child! I think it would different if we lived in the same state! Her father is a controlling person. The daycare provider already has an obligation to the state to turn a mother in for neglect or whatever she sees.
I wouldn't provide the information. Unless he is in the area and allowed to pick her up from daycare then it is of no concern to him. Daycare providers are mandatory reporters so he doesn't need to contact them regarding his daughters care. Good luck.
Don't give him any info about her daycare. As you said, you are in the middle of custody hearings. He could try to use it against you-.
M
Nope. The information has a right to are his medical and school records. Where she is while you are at work is nothing he needs to know it does not concern him.
edited: if he does not have your daughter more then half the year he does not need the daycare info for taxes because he cannot claim her on his taxes as a dependent.
I have to disagree with being civil and cooperating. My ex is also very controlling and I have been nothing but nice and civil and my thanks is being taken to court on bogus contempt charges frequently! I have a restraining order because he was starting to call and make threats and show up at my house when he didn't need to so now his only way to harass me and attempt to control is through the court.
Sounds like he is either looking to kidnap the girl from the daycare, or that he wants to use it to prove you are unfit... To dig up some dirt on your choice of childcare.
No you don't have to give it to him nor should you. He could manipulate a lot with this information. Unless a court tells you you have to don't.
you could ask the daycare to write a summary (she is adjusting well, behaving well, appears healthy etc) and put it on paper without a letterhead in an envelope without return address. that way you have been extremely cooperative and given the info a concerned parent would want to know.
Great question for your lawyer.
If he pays child support, he might be thinking he can get a tax credit for those expenses. He needs all the info on the provider for his taxes.
But a lawyer would know for sure if this request is on the up-and-up.
My daughter's father is the same way. I say don't give him the information. Why does he say he needs it? One thing my step father taught me and has stuck with me is that it is ok to say NO and it is also a very powerful word. Next time he asks say no and nothing else. Keep it simple and if he keeps bitching about it hang up. I feel for you, controlling manipulators are hard to deal with.
I wouldn't give him the information. But if he does find out where she is going to daycare he can show up there and take her out without you knowing unless it says in a court order that he can't. Your daycare provider will not be able to do anything about it if there is no court order. All her father has to do is call the police if your daycare provider denies him access to his daughter and she will have to turn her over to him.
Once your daughter goes to school you will see a form at the beginning of year that says if there is no court order in place the other parent has every right to remove the child from school. Just make sure he doesn't get the information and you should be all set.
Nope, there is absolutely no reason for him to have that information if you are the custodial parent. The only reason he would need it is if you put him down as an emergency contact or have given permission for him to pick her up from the daycare provider. You can provide any other updates that might be needed & if he doesn't feel thats sufficiant then he needs to have the courts set up a liason between the provider and himself to gain that information.
check with your lawyer about what info to give, i refused that info on my ex husband while going through court and it came to bite me back and judge told me to quit playing "hostage" and i lost over half my case, my ex sil (from my brother) refused it, and she was ordered to give it.
he probably just wants to know where his child is and where his child spends the day like any caring parent would....UNLESS he is dangerous or has an unacceptable lifestyle like drugs and bad back ground, i wouldn't say you have a reason to hide it from him and i don't think the court would either.
but your best bet since your attorney knows more about the situation, i would ask and do everything you can to show your willing to cooperate AS LONG AS the safety of your child is first and foremost
Nope, he doesn't need it. If you don't think he needs it and are not comfortable with it don't.
What is your current custody/visitation order? If it reads in any way that your child at the daycare during her father's time with her, then you may need to provide him the information so he can pick her up as scheduled. To refuse him, they would need a copy of the order on file.
What information is he requesting? If he wants to know if it is a licensed, accredited center and that sort of info I would give him that (not necessarily the name and address but the facts regarding it should be fine).
You could give him the information but as long as he isn't listed on any of your daughter's paper work, then the day care provider can't (at least shouldn't) give him any information about her or the daycare. Same goes for school too when she is school age. My daughter's father lives in MI and I'm in FL and I never put his info on her paper work because I don't want him bothering the school about her. I give him updates on school, grades and copy her report cards for him.
S.
Contact your lawyer. Here in Minnesota, as a daycare provider, we can NOT deny a parent acessto their child, unless a court order barring such activity is in place, and it needs to be specific (such as saying the parents can not come to daycare, or visit at daycare or be within so many feet of daycare, etc).
As far as giving him to info to begin with, as I said, ask your lawyer, especially since things are in the works and proceeding at this point. They will know best what he is entitled to at this point. But as I said, here in MN, we, as providers are not able to deny any parent access to their child unless their is a specific court order in place. I have had them before and had to call the police before. Very tough position to be in for all concerned.
Make sure you are proceeding with the correct advice that won't come back to "haunt" you or cause other problems in the process you are going thru.
Good luck!
Check with your lawyer and see. Unless the court orders it I would not give the information out. I would also make sure the daycare knows you have custody (bring a copy of the custody agreement if you suspect there could be a problem). Most schools and daycare have a fairly strict policy about making sure a child is only picked up by a parent or person approved by a parent. My son's preschool requests a phone call from a parent if anyone other than the parent is going to pick the child up.
