Today my 4 year old's daycare had a pizza party for the kids, since they're getting ready to make switches, some to school, some to another class, whatever. When I asked what she had for lunch, she said pizza and orange pop. We do not allow her to have pop! Am I unreasonable in being angry that they gave her soda without my permission? The slip they sent home said pizza and snacks, nothing about soda. I want to talk to them, but not until I calm down. I know I shouldn't be so angry, but I want her to be eating/drinking as healthy as I can for as long as I can. I know we aren't perfect around here, but I see no reason for a child that age to have soda offered to her.
ETA: I know one soda isnt the problem, the problem is if they offer her one, they are going to offer more and I hate the precedent it's setting as well as the idea that they gave it to her without letting me know. I know I'm angrier than I should be, but I still think it's a bad idea.
Thanks, ladies! I'll bring it up with her teacher on Monday. And you can't say all orange pop isn't caffeinated, because some is, I know I take some to work when I get sick of Coke. Since they didn't tell me what they served her, I have no idea what was in it.
For a little background: We did just switch to this school at the beginning of the summer, and while they've been really good so far, it never occurred to me in a million years that they would offer a 4 year old pop/soda. My husband has blood sugar issues so I limit what kinds of sugar she has, as a "just in case" because one person in my house who gets nutty on sugar is enough for me. :-) I know once she gets to school I wont be able to keep her from it like I have been, but I thought I had at least another year before it became an issue. It also really bothered me that they went to the trouble to send a note home about the pizza but failed to mention soda.
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L.U.
answers from
Seattle
on
Wow...really? It's not that big of a deal mama. They had a party and they gave her a bit of soda. And if I know preschools, they probably only gave her 1/2 a serving. No big deal. They sent home a slip and said they were having a party!! It is definitely NOT going to set a precedent! I am assuming she has been at this preschool all year....how many times has she had a party? Once? They let you know they were having a party and having pizza....which isn't healthy either...did you say NO she can't do it!? nope. So since you didn't have a problem with the unhealthy pizza they probably assumed you wouldn't have a problem with the soda.
I wouldn't talk to the teacher at all. It's so trivial.
L.
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A.C.
answers from
Jacksonville
on
Yes, you are being unreasonable. Treats are fine in moderation & special treats (soda) are acceptable for special occasions. I could see being upset if it had caffeine but orange pop does not. I think, in this situation, you should let it go.
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C.C.
answers from
San Francisco
on
A little partying is good for the soul. Let her live a little. Lord, woman, it's a childhood, not a concentration camp!
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S.B.
answers from
Houston
on
Seriously, it was orange pop not a bloody mary. If you are uncomfortable with this talk to them. I don't think this was done to make you angry or usurp your parental authority, it was a pizza party.
I must have been a crappy mother because my kids drank orange pop. Certainly not on a daily basis but on special occasions. A pizza party at day care would be considered a special occasion.
I would just let them know that the next time they are going to have this type of party you will bring juice for your child so that she won't feel left out and she will have a "special drink" like everyone else.
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L.S.
answers from
Spokane
on
Holy overreaction batman! Calm down. It's soda, not battery acid and it was one time, not every day.
Ask them very nicely to please not give her soda in the future and if it's SUCH a big deal to you, then maybe YOU should donate some sugar-free juice for their next event :)
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M.D.
answers from
Washington DC
on
I'm sorry..this made me chuckle. You'd think they gave her a shot of hard liquor!! I understand some parent don't let their kids have soda, but even the ones that don't are normally okay with a sprite or orange soda sometimes. I mean, you really want your daughter to be singled out over a drink? Is she not allowed to have ice cream or candy ever? I'd be upset that sometime was given without my permission, but I certainly would not go in raising all sorts of chaos over soda. Good luck.
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M.P.
answers from
Sacramento
on
I personally think that you are being unreasonable. I think in the future if you don't want her to have soda at these parties, then you should offer to send the drinks for the class party.
Just my $.02
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C.Z.
answers from
Omaha
on
As a childcare provider, I have to say, if I had a parent who freaked over the fact that their child was served an orange soda THIS ONE TIME, I would terminate the contract immediately! If orange soda sends you over the top, what is next?
One time, on a special occasion, is not reason to get angry and overreact. What happens when you child goes to school and birthday treats are brought? What happens when they are invited to a birthday party, a sleepover, a friends house to play? Are you going to police everything that is served to your child?
In this day and age, when there are so many things to worry about; whether your child is ready for school, the economy, the starving people on this earth, unemployment, terrorism, supergerms, etc., it amazes me one serving of orange soda can send you (and apparently others on this site) over the edge.
Take a chill pill, relax, your child is still breathing (I am assuming here) and let it go. The worst thing to be is the "mother who is a pain in the neck" at daycare. It gets around to all the teachers and eventually, will follow your child through school. Having already raised three kids and almost done with the fourth, I can pinpoint who those mama's have been. Their kids don't get invited for playdates, birthday parties, sleepovers as it is too much stress to make sure everything is done correctly.
Unless you are serving your child hormone free milk, eggs, meat, pure butter (also hormone free) organically grown vegetables and fruit, whole grain, no processed sugar, fruit juices that have been certified as organic, unprocessed breads and cereal and water that has been purified, you are doing much more harm to him than an orange soda ever will.
Case in point, look at the pizza you "approved" of. Most likely, processed flour in the crust, oils used that are not pure saturated fat (natural fat from olives, avocados, natural oils), most likely pepperoni or hamburger, I am sure not lean, certainly with nitrates if it was pepperoni, cheese made from milk that was not hormone free, possibly veggies that are not organic, served up with approval from you. AND an orange soda...seems about right on course with the rest of the meal.
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J.B.
answers from
Atlanta
on
Yes, you are completely overreacting! It was a party, she's 4, you don't serve them at home. So even if they give them orange soda at every party that means she's going to have what -a total of 3 or 4 a year? There are FAR bigger things to worry over. Quite honestly it probably didn't have much more sugar in it that juice. Would you be freaking out if they gave her apple juice or white grape juice (that stuff is LOADED with sugar!). I let my 5 year old have Sunkist when we're at the beach as a treat, and it doesn't have much more sugar in it than regular juices. He also never drinks more than half of a 12 oz can, so that's about the same as 8oz of juice (20-25 grams of sugar). What about Kool Aid -would that send you over the edge? She's going to go to parties and have sweets sometime. It's normal. It's not even unhealthy as long as it's not constant and she's not diabetic.
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V.W.
answers from
Minneapolis
on
They obviously didn't realize that it was an issue with you. For most people, it's not an issue (Around here anyway). So they probably just assumed that it was okay. If you don't want her to have soda (And it's fine if you don't), just let them know so that it won't happen again. :)
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M.P.
answers from
Portland
on
Are you sure it was soda and not an orange drink? Kids this age fantasize often.
I feel for all the parents who micro manage their child's lives because they get so upset about the most minor of things. One drink of orange soda is not going to have a negative affect on their child's health. Preventing your child from being a part of the group can be emotionally upsetting, however. And requiring a 4 yo to know what they can and cannot eat/drink seems like putting too much responsibility at such a young age. I'd be more concerned about keeping a balance than about preventing every little thing. I want my children to fit in in a reasonable way. One drink at a celebration will do no harm.
I wasn't allowed to dance, wear make up or go to the movies. I had a very difficult time growing up. Yes, my parents strongly believed this was best for me but it stopped me from becoming a self-confident adult.
A drink of soda is so much less encompassing than what I experienced and seems much more petty. What happened to learning how to get along with the group. Yes, teach values. Teach about a good diet. Eliminate soda at home. But give a little leeway when your child is in a group.
I sympathize with day care people too. They have to keep straight every child's families nuances. No soda for this child. No sweets for this one. Only organic food for this one. Then there are the serious allergies to also remember. I can see having a list when handing out lunch and treats so that they can be sure to honor each and every preference.
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A.J.
answers from
Williamsport
on
Its OK, it won't hurt her. And its not too late to make sure it never happens again. Our kids aren't allowed to drink soda either, but I don't care if they have it once in a blue moon at a party. They don't even really like it because they're not used to the crazy fake sweetness. No harm done. They'll respect your request not to give her soda again.
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L.A.
answers from
Austin
on
Before you go and tear someone a new one.. Make sure you find out exactly what they gave them to drink.. Maybe it was orange gatorade or orange juice with some club soda in it..
A kindergarten teacher a long time ago reminded us parents.. I will make you all a deal.. You believe 50% of what youe child tells you happens here at school and I promise to believe 50% of what your child tells me goes on in your home.." and boy, this has come in handy many times..
All you have to do is ask. and then speak calmly and respectfully to them..
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S.J.
answers from
St. Louis
on
I haven't read all of your responses, but yes, I think it is very unreasonable to be this angry. I would be this angry is someone spanked my child, not for soda, and we don't allow soda either.
Just simply request your child not be given soda. Or, you could lighten up and realize the small amount of orange pop she drank will do absolutely nothing, and neither will any small amounts in the future. Just tell them no more soda. That should resolve it.
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S.C.
answers from
Los Angeles
on
Hi! I used to be really strict about not giving my oldest child any soda. Though I am glad about the results ( he doesn't really seek it out) I think I did go overboard on it. W/ my second and third I didn't ban it, I just limited it to bday parties. At home we have no sodas and they really don't care anyway. I think it's equally wrong to completely restrict it. On special occations I now see no harm!
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J.W.
answers from
St. Louis
on
You are being irrational. Tell them in the future you would prefer them not to but let it go.
MommaL pop is not a midwest thing. It is more of a south thing. I live in the midwest, we call it soda.
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A.C.
answers from
Savannah
on
My son has had orange soda or sprite at a couple different places, and he hasn't turned into an obese hyperactive adhd child yet. Nor does he think he should have soda often---it's a special occasion / party thing. It's ok. You don't have to be mad at all. Just mention to the director that you'd like to make it noted that your daughter should have water or a juice box during parties. NO your child won't have a pizza party with pop every week (for one thing, the daycare won't want to pay for it and there are rules). It is a special occasion thing....."graduation" or new school year kick off, maybe a Christmas party. That's been my experience. Just mention it, or write a short note with your request. In my opinion it's not fair to be mad about something that hasn't been discussed yet. We eat healthy around here too, but that's not something to get upset about.
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E.B.
answers from
Denver
on
I think if you're going to put her in daycare, and if you're going to allow her to attend school, or to have friends, you're going to have to find a way within yourself to deal with these issues.
Teach her your values, teach her that there will be times she must make a decision that affects her safety and well-being (stranger danger, etc), and teach her that she will encounter situations that are not life-threatening but where she can make the healthy, wise choice, like playing nicely on a playground, or choosing low-fat milk, or not watching a violent video at a friend's house. And then relax a little, except about the life and death issues.
Anger is not the proper response to this situation. Preparedness is. Information is. You cannot possibly anticipate every treat your child will be offered, every bit of candy, every chance to swing too high. If you're angry at all of it, you will be so stressed you won't be able to teach your daughter with meaningful calmness.
As you said, you drink Coke. She doesn't have an allergy or diabetes and therefore no medical prohibitions. And there are many people in the world who don't think orange soda is a big deal, if it's a small cupful and not an everyday thing. So if she sees you packing Coke or other soda in your lunch, she may think that a soda with lunch is ok as long as you're not downing can after can all day.
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A.K.
answers from
Houston
on
Oh My GAAHHD, soda? wow, take her out of that school now!
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L.R.
answers from
Wausau
on
The only thing that would really bother me is if it was one of the caffinated soda's. My kids are not allowed to have pop but I am aware that this will happen. Pizza and Pop is a pretty exciting meal and I bet your child was thrilled about it and I don't that is a bad thing. It does surprise me that it was offered though.. But of all the options to get from a pizza place Orange Soda is probably the best choice two liter that kids would drink
I don't see why giving pop is something that a parent should know about, I don't see what you think they might give her next that they shouldn't. I highly doubt it's going to be a beer!
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N.A.
answers from
Chicago
on
Ok? So whats the big deal? My son's school is strict with what snack's they bring in and so on but they do have pizza parties and do serve them orange soda, I don't give my children soda either but once in awhile won't really hurt them... If it does bother you that much then just tell them and let them know that you don't want her to get used to drinking soda-although I doubt any child would expect it all the time. I haven't read the other comments but i'm sure you got some great feedback!
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M.L.
answers from
Houston
on
I'm more upset that they call it 'pop'. Love the midwest!!
I rarely give my kids soda/coke/pop but I don't don't think I would take issue with it on a party day. Pizza, juice, candy... is just as bad. Next time they have a party, let them know that this beverage choice is not an option for her. Just be calm and informative about it.
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L.O.
answers from
Detroit
on
I would not have a fit over this. If they generally take care of the kids and treat them nicely. a bit of carbonated sugar water is not a big deal.
My kids have tasted my coke.. they dont like it.. I bet the kids didnt liek the orange soda at your school .. they wourld prefer orange kool aid or water.
one pop is not a big deal. and it will not make her want pop every day.
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J.K.
answers from
Dallas
on
Yes, they probably should have let you know, but, IMO it isn't a big enough reason to be overly angry about it. You sound like you're about to go beat someone up for probably no more than an dixie cup amount of soda. And if nutrition is a top priority, I would cause a ruckus about the pizza as a meal as well. Pizza, unless homecooked and with all natural ingredients, is not the healthiest meal in itself...especially when ordered from one of these fast food pizza joints.
If I were you, I would nicely state that in the future you would prefer a different beverage for your daughter. Also, have the office staff make a note for her file to let the teachers know of any and all requests you may have for your daughter. That is typically where they keep information like food allergies, likes & dislikes, personality types, etc.
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K.N.
answers from
Cleveland
on
just to be sure, are you sure it was pop and not like orange drink? not that one is really any better than the other, but what if your child is just calling it pop because someone else did.
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E.T.
answers from
Albuquerque
on
Ok. Deep breath. Your child isn't going to turn into a different child just because she's had one soda.
I do agree that 4 years old is too young for soda, especially if it's being offered by someone other than parents. Personally, I'd probably email the school and tell them that you are disappointed that you weren't notified that she'd be given soda in advance. And then I'd move on.
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H.G.
answers from
Dallas
on
The issue for me is the not asking. I don't look at coke as poison (we dring coke here in texas not matter what flavor it is) :) and I was raised with it as are my kids. I would just let them know you want to be informed of any" extras" that may be given to them. She's ok! Take a deep breath!
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T.R.
answers from
San Francisco
on
I have not had my kids in day care, but sodas are not the usual drink at preschool or even elementary parties. Maybe it was a cost issue.
Maybe the day care was thinking of it as a celebration and thought the orange pop would be a treat. To be fair,you should only request that you are informed of all the snacks before a party. Then you could ask if you could provide a healthier option for your child or all of the children.
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S.K.
answers from
Dallas
on
I don't like for my kids to have soda but I don't get mad if they're given some on a special occasion. Unless you put in her school file that she can't have soda, I don't think you should be so upset about it. Relax and just calmly explain to the teacher that your daughter isn't allowed to have it. Offer to bring juice boxes to the next party.
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A.V.
answers from
Washington DC
on
I would simply speak to the daycare and say that your child isn't allowed soda. Perhaps offer to keep a bottle of juice that she can have in the fridge for her. When my child could not have high sugar snacks b/c we were trying to figure out an issue with her teeth, I bought replacements that they kept in her cubby.
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L.N.
answers from
New York
on
Yes they made a mistake. but if you like the center then you should approach the problem calm. next time you drop off your child just say I heard my child got to drink orange soda the other day? then say is there a way for me to have it put in her file that she isn't allowed to have soda? that way you are not blaming but you are saying you don't want her to have soda.
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K.J.
answers from
Chicago
on
First, breathe...
Second, you are correct that they SHOULD have specified it on the slip.
Third, have you told them that she is not allowed to have soda?
Fourth, how many years do you expect to be able to totally shield her from it?
Fifth, this is a good opportunity for you to explain to her that some people allow their kids to have different things, but in your home you do not drink it because it is not healthy. Yes, she will probably start to ask for it, if she liked it, but as with all things, you will have the responsibility to tell her "no."
ETA: I live in the Midwest too, and it's called "pop" in my home. My sister says "soda" since moving to Chicago, and I like to tease her for trying to put on aires ;-)
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P.M.
answers from
Portland
on
I feel your distress – for me, there is no reason in the world for kids to drink soda – except for one. When I was growing up in a very poor family, we had little money with which to celebrate holidays or special events. But from the time I was around 6, my mom always let us stay up on New Year's Eve to make a lot of racket and drink one glass of soda at midnight. It was really special for me and my sisters, and we saw that soda (ginger ale or root beer) as a celebration drink only.
I do not like soft drinks and have never voluntarily had one throughout my entire 63 years – except to have one glass on new year's eve, which I thoroughly enjoy within that context. And I raised my daughter with that tradition, too. She does drink diet sodas as an adult, but never got hooked on them the way many kids do. Just wanted you to know that it is possible!
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T.H.
answers from
Kansas City
on
Well I probably wouldn't let it go either. I don't do soda in my house either and I'd be mad that they offered it. It's one thing for each parent to decide but I am disapointed that a day care would provide it. I would probably talk to the teacher Monday morning and straight up say that you are upset that your child was given soda and you didn't know. Tell them how you feel. I wouldn't freak out about it, which I'm sure you won't, but I'd be mad too.
ETA...I actually would ask the teacher first what the drink that was given was...your child may have said pop but if she's never had soda, maybe it was some sort of orange drink and she heard someone else call it that, etc. So, before you give them a piece of your mind, make sure that's what really happened! ;) Oh and I agree with you completely. Soda is just one of my "things" and I certainly don't think it's okay for a child care facility to be passing it out!
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S.M.
answers from
Kansas City
on
No one can remember every time. I remember the allergies. That's life threatening. But most parents are okay with a little soda on special occasions. I have a little boy that is 6. His mom used to say a little soda, a few sips once and awhile. She later changed to no soda at all. On the rare occasion I would hand him a cup with a little in it without thinking because I'm feeding all the kids the same lunch, he'd hand it back to me and remind me he needs water.
If you remind your child to respect your rules then you won't have a problem.
What I find that IS deplorable is that somewhere on here I read that some mom drinks soda but it's not for her kids. That's just stupid. I can't stand parents that drink liquor either and then are mad when their teen does. Either it's good or bad or a treat for all. I don't do anything I don't want my kids doing.
By the way for those that think that Sunny D is better and I forget the one someone else mentioned... Koolaide and all of the DRINK derivatives are NASTY. When I see Sunny D in the store it may as well be motor oil to me. GROSS, NASTY, TERRIBLE TASTING.
If someone wants to feed their kids colored water with sugar and not allow them to have carbonation then so be it. But it seems to me plain water would be better than giving them those sugary drinks. The only reason I love Soda is because it's the bomb. Carbonation in Juice is not very good. I've tried all kinds.
We all have our own ideas on this. But I agree with MARDA. It's better to just get a long with the group we are in. I would not go to someones home and turn down Sunny D even though I think it's gross. It's polite to just drink what is served. But I would never drink alcohol of any description and never have. I guess I'm not THAT polite.
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S.S.
answers from
Chicago
on
I would ask questions before jumping to conclusions. There is all kinds of different things it could have been. carbonated fruit juice. Carbonated Water which is flavored. I drink it all the time as I love the carbonation but it has no calories, no sugar and no sodium. the kids I nanny for think its pop and so do my grandchildren. But I wanted to suggest also that if your children are aware that it was a "treat" and not something that will be happening all the time it will not be a problem. Treat it as you would a pc of birthday cake. It's a treat and won't happen often. Don't make it into a big forbidden at all costs issue. of food will be come an issue in your household.
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F.O.
answers from
Los Angeles
on
It doesn't matter that it's caffeinated or not. The point is they did not disclose the full food list and give parents the opportunity to object and provide their preferred choice of beverage, or request water only for their child.
No matter what other people think, I've learned to stand my ground when advocating for my child's best interest because as her parent, it is my right to do so and not take the passive attitude of "no big deal". Once children acquire tastes for junk food and fast food, as they get older that is going to be their preference and soda is loaded with sugar, and children diabetes is on the rise. You are wise to have diet restrictions in place because I tell people no candy, no soda, no color juice. It's all sugar. Of course she can have a treat at a party, once in a blue, blue moon, but when these kids start eating the sweets they want to devour everything in sight!
Stand your ground with dignity!!!!
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M.B.
answers from
Washington DC
on
I'd be just as mad as you. That is a decision that a LOT of parents make... NO SODA is on a lot of their "lists". That daycare should know that. And what KIND of orange pop? Some of it has caffeine!!! I don't even let my oldest, 8, have soda- not even kool aid or other sugary things. They rarely have candy. They've had sparkling water, that's the closest they've gotten, and they are cool with that, because I have educated them on why we should eat healthy foods. They all like their veggies, even our youngest who just turned 3.
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J.L.
answers from
Los Angeles
on
I love the word 'pop'. When my father was a young man he was working as a lifeguard on the island of Jersey in Channel Islands. He said an Englishman came up to him and started talking for about five minutes, but his accent was so strong that the only word my father could understand was 'pop'. Anyway, back to your issue.
My children are not given soda, and i would be extremely surprised and disappointed to find out my daycare had given them this. We know that over consumption of soda is one of the reasons countries like the US and UK are battling obesity. IMO it just isn't necessary to feed it to children like that. I wouldn't be too worried, but i would mention to the daycare that your child is not allowed soda again.
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D.B.
answers from
Charlotte
on
.
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C.S.
answers from
Medford
on
I would be annoyed and I would talk to them about it. Its obvious that they didn't give her rat posion or something, but if its not something that you allow, they should be told about your feelings for future reference. Just don't attack them about it. Pizza isn't any healthier for her than soda anyway. Its all junk food, but if the note said pizza, it should have included soda on the list also.
We don't allow soda either unless we have a party, then its ok in moderation.
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F.H.
answers from
Phoenix
on
My kids didn't start to have soda until they were 6 and then only on special occasions such as eating out or bday parties. When you child starts going to school she will be eating anything that any other kid offeres her so you can't always protect her. and in fact, if you keep it from her, the more she will want it an likely seek it out. I would just mention it to them and say something like "I understand there was a pizza party and she had soda but ideally I don't want her to have soda so you know for next time". Good luck!
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A.M.
answers from
New York
on
Absolutely speak to the daycare. You pay them to watch your most precious gift and should be following your instructions the best possible. This was out of line.
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K.C.
answers from
Reading
on
YOU have every right to be angry. Soda is the number 1 contributor to childhood obesity. It is disgusting that they handed that to a 4 year old (or group of them).
You should definately sit down with the director. (not the $9/hr employee in the room either) and firmly let her know that this is not acceptable and that parents should be informed of EVERY food and drink that is being given to their children. There should be an Approved list that parents are given.
Do not take this lying down. This is disgusting.
Good luck!
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A.B.
answers from
Pittsburgh
on
There is really no reason why children should be given soda. It's not even just about the caffeine - it's full of sugar, artificial junk and has no redeeming qualities whatsoever. I'm surprised the day care would have given it - I would have thought most were more aware than that.
I would have been upset, too.
Yes, talk to the teachers about providing more healthful alternatives - or, at the very least, letting parents know they intend to serve it so they can send in a different drink with their child that day. I don't think that's unreasonable.
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J.B.
answers from
Houston
on
Just let the daycare know that soda is objectionable going forward. Lots of parents wouldn't mind a little soda by age four, so they probably didn't think about it. If it wasn't soda it would have been kool-aid or like capri sun, really not much different honestly. Both orange Fanta and Crush, which are the most common don't have caffeine, but really the size glass a kid would drink would not represent much caffeine anyway. My son is four and has had soda occasionally, so I wouldn't have thought a thing about it. At his bday party at chuck e cheese, we had soda and all the kids had some and none of their parents minded. So I don't think it is over the top not to want your child to have some, only a little over the top that you ok'd a pizza party, saw the food list, didn't notice drinks weren't on the list and then got upset. Seems like nobody was thinking about drinks honestly. Just jot a list down of unacceptable drinks/snacks and then it should be problem solved!
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C.S.
answers from
Las Vegas
on
Outrageous! No one has the right to introduce your child to soda. I would definitely talk to them, but yes calm down.
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S.A.
answers from
Kansas City
on
I would think you have every right to be upset. Calmly talk to them and I'm sure they'll listen.
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J.K.
answers from
Phoenix
on
I don't allow my kids soda either. A little bit is a LOT for little ones. All that sodium, sugar and dyes. Although a little bit every now and then won't hurt them, it isn't healthy either. I'd be upset too... my kids would have said "no thank you" and not had any. Hopefully, this won't happen again.
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D.M.
answers from
Rapid City
on
I would be pissed too! No kid needs soda and damn right they should of told you before hand so you could of said no, please don't give her any.
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J.A.
answers from
Chicago
on
Wow. I am shocked at the overreaction on here.
Yes, I realize not everyone allows pop for children, but if that's the case, it needed to be pointed out by the parent in the first place.
I provide childcare in my home. I have the parents full out a sheet at the beginning of their contract where they can let me know what foods/drinks they cannot have. If it's not listed, it's fair game.
And I agree with one of the earlier posts. You do NOT want to be "that parent" that no daycare or teacher wants to deal with. Many childcare providers "trade notes", and you do not want to be "blacklisted". I know I'm not paid NEARLY enough to deal with that.
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G.B.
answers from
Oklahoma City
on
I have never heard anything so....odd. I can't imagine sending home anything to ask permission to feed the kids in child care during a party. I think you are way over reacting.
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H.P.
answers from
Houston
on
You have every right to be bothered by this. I do think that one soda makes a difference because your kid is 4 and it was without your prior consent. At this age, you have the right to say, "No trash for my baby." When she's 10, then we can revisit, but 4 is too young not to have the okay from parent. And you're right--if it happened this time, it'll happen again. I'm getting hot thinking about it.
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B.
answers from
Augusta
on
I would be really ticked off. My kids are only allowed to have it every once in a while and that is soda w/o sugar but my kids are almost 7 and almost 10. at 4 no they were not given soda.
here they give juice at day care not soda , even if it is a pizza party
Talk to them and question them on why it wasn't on the permission slip, and in the future to NOT give it to her
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B.R.
answers from
St. Louis
on
One soda as a treat for a class party shouldn't make you so mad. If they were just giving it to her all the time, then I would be concerned.
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D.H.
answers from
Louisville
on
could this soda have been SunnyD?
it comes in cans just like soda, but it isn't - and it would be the only t hing packaged like that that my dgd could take to school in her lunch cause they don't allow soda there either!
info on SunnyD in case you'd like to know --
12oz can has 90 calories, contains 3% juice (not a lot, but more than some!) and has 100% of Vit C per 8oz, 20g sugar in the 12z can (but bet those kids only got a small cup so likely about 5g) -- oh, and it's also NON-carbonated and caffeine free!
ETA = never did see an update on this one and wondering what was found out on the orange "soda"
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A.G.
answers from
Houston
on
I wouldnt freak out over soda, but you have the right. A friend of mines daughter (also a vegetarian family like mine) was given green eggs and ham.
LOL i wouldve flipped my lid
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N.W.
answers from
Chicago
on
If there are certain things you don't allow, just make them aware. Don't get too worked up about it, it was only one soda. If you think it will be a problem, take your own drinks, or offer to supply the drinks for any parties they have so that you are sure they have a better choice of drink...
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S.D.
answers from
Seattle
on
I find it amusing that YOU drink soda but don't allow your daughter. I would start by modeling what you want your kid(s) to do. As for the issue of the soda itself, I guess its okay to make a fuss if you want your kid to be the one who doesn't get soda at special occasions. All the other kids can get soda and yours can have water. I'm sure that won't make her feel different. If you've made the decision to put your child in day care or school you've also made the choice to expose her to people who parent differently and kids who might drink SODA, and to place her in a social situation where she will feel the pressure to fit in. To me a cup of soda is a small sacrifice if those are your choices. My personal feelings are that our kids are going to be able to make their own choices sooner than we know it and they will live in a world with sugar and soda, AND it's our job to educate and foster moderation, not to control. If you control then you have a good chance that your child will either have no ability moderate or will just simply rebel. And yes, I give my kid soda, which I actually don't see as being hugely different than juice which also spikes the blood sugar. When I give juice I always water it down and soda is really now and then. I feel this models a healthy habit.
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M.G.
answers from
Chicago
on
Yes, you are being unreasonable. But, kindly let the day care know that you prefer your child not have pop. It happened during a celebration, and it's not a regular occurrence, so I'd cut them some slack. It was meant to be a fun event, and I would be devastated if I knew I had disappointed a parent to the point that you are at.
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K.B.
answers from
Tulsa
on
This happened at our preK and many of us were irate. Our kids had never had soda. Mine got a stomach ache from the carbonation(she had major gas).
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K.J.
answers from
Kansas City
on
I would be annoyed as well. I don't let my 6-year-old drink soda. I was irritated when I took her to a pizza party at a skating rink and the rink didn't even offer anything except soda. No lemonade, even. I think I got her some water or something. I don't remember. It wasn't a big deal.
The issue is that constantly drinking soda is an unhealthy habit. It's a habit I have and have had since I was a little kid. I am hoping that by introducing sodas later and with less frequency than when I was a kid it will help them not get so hooked on them as I am when they are adults. And even if it has little effect on their adult habits, a glass of milk or juice is still better for them than soda.
We have presented it this way. Not all drinks are appropriate for all ages. Little kids drink milk, juice, water, etc. Older kids may have soda. Teenagers might have coffee. Adults can have alcohol. Some things just aren't appropriate for all ages.
I would have been annoyed in that situation too. Maybe not pissed. But definitely annoyed. They should have mentioned that soda would be served with the pizza.
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L.F.
answers from
San Francisco
on
Sara,
I would be sooo mad too! They should have been upfront and honest about it in their permission slip- saying something like your child has the option of soda or juice/milk/water etc. Let us know if they can't have it etc. I have never heard of a daycare giving soda!!!! That is crazy to me. I would talk to them monday and say what you need to say in private. GL
M
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J.F.
answers from
Kansas City
on
I don't know about Mo but in Ks day care centers are required by the health dept to serve milk with meals (and fruits & Veggies for that matter!) It doesn't sound like it was an acceptable lunch!
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M.B.
answers from
Asheville
on
I don't think it is worth being "furious" I too am very cautious over what I offer my daughter and she isn't and actually has never wanted soda, however many people are not as "strict" over what their children eat/drink. I would think that there should be rules/regulations at the daycare (if it is public) on nutritious meals....if there isn't maybe you could start a committee to benefit your child and others to help plan a healthy menu for the school. I would certainly bring it to the attention of the director and explain your concern and that you would like to see them move towards healthier options and nicely let her know that your child isn't to have soda as a choice.
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L.M.
answers from
Dallas
on
Wow, at our class parties at school I've seen soft drinks and juice. It's a party, it's not like she's drinking it everyday at lunch.
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H.A.
answers from
Albuquerque
on
I would be pissed too! At the same time, they probably don't have these type of "parties" that often. I would talk to the daycare and ask if they'd be willing to serve Juice for parties in the future rather than soda. It would be too difficult to ask them not to give your daughter soda, when all the other kids are having it. But if this daycare doesn't think it's a bad idea to offer 4-year-olds soda, maybe you need to find a different daycare!
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H.L.
answers from
Cleveland
on
I'd let them know that in the future, water please. I'd make sure you room mom during school years, it's a given to have fruit punch and/or sprite at parties. I'd supply water.
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M.B.
answers from
San Francisco
on
I nannied for a family that offered soda anytime the kids asked for it, there were two teenagers and 3 year old twins and the kids were split down the middle as to who drank it. One of the "big girls" and one of the "little girls" loved soda while the other two only drank milk or water-literally would spit the soda out if their glasses got switched.
I don't know that you should be super angry BUT you should be bothered. If your family gives the kids soda, fine, but I think snacks and drinks offered at school should ALWAYS be healthy and when they aren't that should be told in advance. They sent home a note and could have very easily informed you there would be soda served.
The school my girls went to had a policy when you enrolled where they had you fill out a form for food issues-allergy, religous and prefernece and tried their best to honor that.
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L.D.
answers from
New York
on
I don't think she is being unreasonable because she doesn't want her child to have soda. They should be sending a detailed list for food allergy concerns anyway. I would be wary of any day care that doesn't ask these types of questions that are directly related to a child's health.
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S.L.
answers from
New York
on
OMG the "judgementals" are on you cuz "you drink soda!!" I kept my older kids off soda until they were teens and guess what, in their 20s one doesnt like it at and one drinks it a little. My six yr old was offered soda by a relative and now is begging for it all the time. But hubby and I drank soda when ever we wanted because we are adults and we can drive, drink and vote and kids understand the different rules. I would not freak out - my guess is that a Parent brought in the soda and that is why the school didnt let you know ahead of time. Just let the school nicely know you were unhappy.