Daughters First Sleepover!!

Updated on October 22, 2013
M.N. asks from Tempe, AZ
13 answers

My twin daughters goes to a home daycare (they would take her to school,pick her up etc)Well she met this cute little boy who is 6 years old.Well the family invited my daughter if she could come see a kids movie with them and have her sleepover.I told them i would make my deciton tomorrow.Would you allow your almost 5 year old daughter (5 in 10 days)to her first sleepover or just let her go to the movie?

(Sorry for the spelling mistakes (:)

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M.S.

answers from Washington DC on

At that age, just the movie. I would get to know the family much better before letting my child sleep over.

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

They are not even 5 yet.
At that age my son was not ready for either - he wasn't ready for sleep overs till he was 9 yrs old.
When evening came around he wanted his routine, his bed, his favorite stuffed animal, story time and ME.
He was still in pullups at night till he was 7 yrs old.
They are too young.

And really - a sleep over with the opposite sex (and on a school night)?
I don't care how cute he is.
If I had a daughter just no way was that going to happen at ANY age.
You know NOTHING about him or his family - whether they have guns or how they store them, whether they get drunk or if they do drugs, whether they have older teen siblings/step siblings, etc and so forth.
If you have a single protective bone in your body with regard to your kids there's no way you'd seriously think about allowing any of this.

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S.G.

answers from Grand Forks on

Was only one of your daughters invited or both? It might be better if there were two of them. I would actually let her (them) go to watch the movie, then go home to sleep. My kids had been on lots of sleepovers at the age of five, but they never slept over on their first visit to someone's home. It usually took a few visits before they (and I) were comfortable with a sleepover.

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G.D.

answers from Detroit on

My five year old has had only one sleepover. With a boy who's family is friends of ours. I had never been to their home before, but had spent a lot of time with them in other venues. The day of the sleepover I went to the home and had a tour, and ensured that they had all of my contact numbers. It was a hit. She was asleep soon after movie time and still talks about it months later.
As long as your confident and close with the other family (I assume so if they are already driving her around)-I say go with it.

I should add that my 5 year old has older sister and has been waiting for her opportunity to sleepover for years!

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K.C.

answers from Denver on

Nah, I wouldn't have done either the movie OR, certainly, the sleepover. She's still very young and at that age, I was still accompanying my kids to their playdates/outings. At around 5, everything started becoming "drop off", but the sleepovers didn't start 'til around 7 or so. Plus you don't even know this family. Inviting her over for a sleepover seems overly too familiar. I'd say "yes" to the movie if YOU were allowed to go, too, and paying for her and yourself, obviously. But "no" to the sleepover in any situation.

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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

I see no problem with it.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I do not allow the kids to go to anyone's house that I personally am not friends with.

This would have to be such a good friend that "I" would trust them to give the kids swats if they needed it. That's the only person I would allow the kids to go spend the night with. If I am not friends with the family and have not been to their home numerous times there is no way the kids would go there to spend the night. I probable wouldn't let the kids go over without going along with them either until I knew the family quite well.

Their parenting styles, how they handle the kids when there is a dispute, what their lifestyles are like such as are the secret nudists at home...lol, do they allow "R" rated movies in the kids view, do they use bad language, etc....

I have to know the people that I give the kids over to during the night time hours. For all you know they could be having nightly sex parties with their kids.

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M.C.

answers from Chattanooga on

I agree that I would want to know the family better (MUCH better... Before the age of 8 or so I would only feel comfortable with close family friends and family...) before allowing a sleepover.

I would do the movie, then go home this time. Maybe YOU can stay during the movie, and take the opportunity to get to know the family better. If things go well, maybe next time they can do the sleepover.

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E.P.

answers from Tampa on

No. I wouldn't. My kids are 12, 8, 7. My oldest had his first sleepover with a friend at 10. We thought we knew the family well, but once my son told me what went on there, I won't allow him to go back to their house.

My 8 year old was invited to sleepover a girl's house last year, but I didn't know the parents very well and didn't feel comfortable with it.

I remember doing sleepovers after 3rd grade, but that was me. I was good friends with the other child and our parents knew each other for a few years.

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T.N.

answers from Phoenix on

Definitely no. Regardless of age, I will only let my kids do sleepovers at VERY close friends/family that we've known for years. You can't be too careful. And the kids can wear pajamas and have a lot of fun until 9 or 10 if they want to feel like they stayed up late and partied. The benefits of sleeping over do not outweigh the risks in my mind.

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P.K.

answers from New York on

Too young IMO. They get homesick once the sun goes down. Let her stay for the movie etc. pick up at bedtime.

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D.P.

answers from Minneapolis on

I'm confused. What does the 6 year old boy have to do with it? Is the sleepover at the daycare? So does the daycare provider have daughters her age? If it's a sleepover at daycare with just her and the boy...absolutely not. I think I am missing a lot of details to say whether I would think this is OK or not. My son had his first sleepover at 5 with his best friend and was absolutely fine. He's also a super social kid and we are friends with the family so he was comfortable with them.

C.V.

answers from Columbia on

I wouldn't have a problem with it, but I think that some kids at this age might struggle with being away from home overnight.

I suggest that you take her over for a kids movie and then play it by ear. Tell the boys' mom that if your daughter feels like she wants to come home, to call you to come and pick her up after the movie. If she wants to stay, call and let you know. Don't have any expectations either way.

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