Daughters Feeling Left Out Because of Step-brother

How old are your kids? Are they home all day with him?
We had a similar problems several years ago. My stepson (now 18) came to live with us during 5th grade. He had a lot of dysfunction in his life and he was a lot to handle as far as school, mentally, emotionally and even physically. He was on a special diet because he was extremely overweight. So my husband spent most of his time (when he wasn't at work) trying to help his son. There was A LOT of them 2 arguing and screaming at each other in front of our kids who were 3 & 4 at the time. They missed spending time with their dad and weren't used to the loud arguing. Their was also a lot of other disruption to their lives. My stepson would continually antagonize them and get them upset. We had to remove all the non-diet foods from the house because he would sneak them at night, so my kids missed all their usual snack foods. It was a very hard year to say the least!
I would suggest talking very honestly to your husband. He is probably going through a lot himself having his son there. I know my husband felt a lot of guilt about not being there for his son before this and blamed himself for his son's problems. Let him know your kids are having a hard time. Maybe even suggest to him, putting them in daycare. Maybe that will open his eyes to what a serious problem this is for you and your kids.

I am excited to respond to this one, because I do not deal well with husbands that dont respond well with multipal issues.I used to be in this situation all though I wasnt married to him. He had two children and an ex wife. I felt as if I could do no right, even though I was the one that took care of the children all the time. He used to tell me that "there mom said you do this, or you tell them to do that", I got sick of it, and now I am who i am. I think that you and your husband need to spend a little more time alone together. I also think you need to have a talk with him regarding this problem. Then the last thing would to be to have a family meeting involving the children on "the new things that we as a family are going to do to have fun, and how to work together as a family and be friends as well as siblings.This meeting is to get them to think they are involved with desicions. Order some pizza, let them all have a drink that they normally would be allowed...It will be fun, and you may both hear things from the children that will help all of you. I watched a show on Dr phil last week, and he said something very true...If the parents are in dissagreements often, the children will do the same to eachother...they will pick pick, and argue, and pick some more....I think you are a strong woman to have dealt with this for this long, It is time to deal with it your way.

C.,
I can totally understand how your daughters feel. Nine years ago when my mom got married, my step father favored my sister out the three kids my mom had. He even got to the point he made difference in her kids to my one child.
it really bothered me to a point, i went to my mom and explain how i was feeling. As any good mom, she addressed the issue with him. and of course he declared its not like that... he love all his kids and grandkids etc....
my main advise to you is listen to your daughters concerns and allow the four of you ( yours husband, daughters and yourself)
to sit down and openly discuss how you feel.
hopefully he will see how this is truly effecting the girls as well as you.
best of luck to you
H.

Hey C., I am not in this situation or have I ever had to deal with this situation, however, I am as real as they come and there are situations as a mother, I would not tolerate. I think you should speak to your husband on a one-on-one, and if that doesn't work make a threat so that he feels if the situation doesn't get better your out of there. As far as your girls go, make sure you let them know it's not their fault and show them more love then you've ever done before, even show your step son extra love maybe he feels left out too, and because of that he's acting out. Kids are really funny, and they pick up on things we would never expect. Which ever way you decide to deal with the situation I hope it all gets better for you.....Take care! and if you ever need to talk, I'm a good listner.......BYE