Daughter Who Seems to Lack Some Self-confidence. Is This Normal at 5/6 Years?

time to get her involved in some outside activities as the other Moms have recommended. She needs an opportunity to excel, to blossom.....& then she'll (hopefully) break out of the "copycat" phase.

As a childcare provider, I see this behavior as early as 2 during group play. When this type of behavior pops up, I encourage the children to play games where they have to take turns being the leader: Simon Says, Follow the Leader, etc. It helps break up the dynamics of the group!

I think an organized group activity such as dance class, gymnastics, etc., would be a great option to help her along. Good luck to you.

I think what is normal depends upon the temperment of the child. It sounds like it is probably normal for your child.

I think the more exposure she has playing one on one with other children the better. Small classes are fine and helpful but it doesn't substitute for the give and take relationship building that comes with unstructured play.

If she is in a class with a lot of kids that she doesn't know finding one special friend she can play with can help. Meeting one person at the park after school or on a Saturday will go a long way towards fostering friendships.

Also, help her practice good friend making behavior. My two kids are 19 months apart and play together well. I found with my son, who is the oldest, that he really didn't know how to appropriately approach kids to play with him. He always had a built in playmate at home so he never had practice making friends. His behavior manifested itself with agression. My daughter on the other hand is very quiet and she is a little more shy. Either behavior can have the same result when it comes to friend making if they do not know how to approach children.

Sometimes, the approach might be helping children find solutions to approaching other kids. They need to know how to approach kids using good eye contact, body language, and using friends' names. Although we think that this should come natural, it is sometimes harder for some kids than others. You can role play this behavior using dolls or stuffed animals. You can also be a role model for this behavior yourself.

Have you observed in what instances the other kids don't want to play with your daughter? What is their behavior and what is her behavior? With my son I had to help him with distinguishing between not wanting to play with him and not wanting to play whatever game he wanted to play. However, sometimes it is hard, because at this age the kids are attached to one special friend sometimes to the exclusion of others.

Have you talked to your daughter's teacher about your concerns? A good teacher can find ways to pair children to help develop their social skills. Really in both prek and kindergarten, there is a lot of emphasis on social skills.

Good luck

I am going through the same thing with my 6 year old daughter. She will try to do something once and if it does not go her way or she can not do it she will break down and cry and say that it is too hard. She will not try again for several days. Her school is now going to have a Karatee instructor after school. We are going to be putting her in that class in hopes that it will do what it says and that is to build confidance as well as self esteem.