Daughter Regressing to a Baby

She's not even 3 years old. Cut her some slack. You control things like the bottle and pacifier. If you don't want her to have those things, put them away. Her potty business is all her. Most children are not potty trained until at least age 3. It is not your job as a parent to make her go potty. It is your job to set the stage for her to be able to go potty. Teach her what it all is and have it available and reward for doing well, but you cannot make her pee or poop in the potty. That's part of her physical development and she'll get there when she gets there, not when you think she should be there. You're going to have 3 small children soon. You should not stress over these little things. This will all come into place with time. So just don't push it. It's OK!

As far as the potty training thing goes, have you heard of E.C. (elimination communication) you could google it and get a little more info, but basically it's potty trainning at any age (0 months on up). This would be taking your 11 month old and holding her over the potty whenever you see she has to go (even once a day would help). Doing this with your youngest might show your oldest that even "baby's" go on the potty.
As far as the behavior problem, I would only reward and give my attention to her age appropriate behavior. She has probably picked up on the pattern where she acts like a baby and you (understandably concerned) give her even more attention.
Hope this helps :)

I think she just wants the kind of attention her sis is getting, and figures that if she acts like a baby too, then she will get the attention her sis is getting. Believe me, even when you try to give both equal attention they may still want more. Call it jealousy, sibling rivalry or whatever you want they want the attention the other is getting and at times they may want more attention than the other is getting. They don't care what kind of attention it is as long as they are getting the attention. You don't have to give them things for attention, you could just give lots of praise, hugs and kisses, play with them, or even let them both sit with you. Mine like to fight over my lap so I ask them to share my lap, either take turns, or one child on each leg. It even works on the computer, so long as they aren't trying to get in the way of the keys or mouse when I need them.

I have tried to be fairly even handed with my attention to both my children, to be casual with the negative attempts for attention and to let them know the importance of things like sharing, taking turns, helping, having mommy or daddy time, needing alone time etc. Though they occasionally resort to attention grabbers like acting like a baby, they usually do very well together. My oldest also went through her period of reverting back to pooping and peeing her pants (This too shall pass). So I think if you are persistent with giving them both, good loving attention, ignoring or being casual with the "unwanted" attention, involving both of them with as much as possible, and teaching them important things concerning being courteous and compromising with each other they will both probably do fairly well.

It takes a long time and a lot of consistency though, and there will always be times that they may revert back to that unwanted behavior, but it should gradually become less and less. So long as you don't draw attention to the negative behaviors, be consistent (everyone involved should be consistent not just mommy), and give them plenty of attention and mommy/daddy time. Also, keep in mind that it takes the average person at least a month to adjust to a routine or changes, so if you try to adjust what you are doing it may not seem like it works after a week or two (sometime the behavior may even get worse before it gets better), try to give it at least a month to see if you are getting good results from any changes your family makes, and remember be consistent and patient.

I wish you luck,
V.

My first daughter regressed quite a bit when we brought home her newborn sister. She was 23 months. We bought her a baby doll and taught her how to do everything we did with the real baby for her baby doll. It helped some. Combine it with special Mommy/Daddy time and you may alleviate some of the issues. I've learned like the poster said below, you can't control their bowels. The harder you try, the harder they fight it.

Her little sister just turned three and she will pee in her pants just to spite me. She hasn't done it often, but a couple of times when she was REALLY, REALLY MAD she has stood tall, stared me down and just peed herself. It's funny, because out of my three girls, she's the gentle one in the bunch, but very emotional!

also, maybe her pediatrican can offer some advice.

Hi B.,
I'm going through the same thing. My now 3 year old was potty trained for about a month at about 29 months. Then all of the sudden she started having fits about having to wear underwear...she wanted her pull ups (before she loved her new undies). When we took her pull ups away completely she actually grabed one of her little sister's (then about 9 months old), layed down on the floor and put it on herself and looked so scared that we were going to be upset that we left her alone for fear that we might add to whatever problem was going on. We gave her back her pull ups after a few more scenes and she would only go potty (pee not poop) every once in a while and strangely acted very proud of it. We do the stars on the chart thing and always give her treats whenever she goes but now just has no interest what so ever!! I really think it is the attention that her sister gets at getting changed all the time also. Anyways, at her 3 year well visit to the doc I asked what to do and he said do not push it...just give possitive feedback when she goes and it will come on her time. Well, I'm patiently waiting...(;
A.

B.,

My son is only 17 mnths, but my son does somethings just for attention, when he doesn't feel that he's getting enough and acts out, he doesn't regress(yet!) but he gets naughty...I can only imagine what you're dealing with given that you're pregnant again. Perhaps, you should just ignore her behaivor when she is 'acting' like a baby. If you don't make a big fuss or draw attention to it, and instead let her help you take care of the baby, she might enjoy that better. Give her special tasks like wiping the baby gently when you're changing her, or helping feed her or bathe her...Make her feel like she is the proud big sister and can help take care of the baby. Tell her that you need her to be the big sister and not the baby, because you really need her help with something. I don't know...it's just a suggestion and it's not coming out the way I want.

Treat her like a big girl at all times, don't give in to her acting like a baby, tell her she is the oldest and that with that she has to help you take care of the baby and you can't do it without her help. Even the simplest things...ya know? I think she doesn't really quite get why the little one gets all the attention and everything gets done for her, yet you're asking her to be a big girl and go potty like mommy and daddy.

Good luck! I doubt I was much help.

Hello,

First you need to find out how she acts at daycare. Does she act like she always has or does she act like a baby there as well?

If she is acting the same as she always has, then she is acting like a baby to get you to treat her special like you treat the baby. She might feel like you love the baby more than her. You need to talk to her.
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You need to find out if anyone at daycare has said something to her to hurt her feelings. OR If someone has touched her in a way that is not ok.

Do not ask her a bunch of questions, just ask her what is making her sad or upset and then just listen.

If she does not want to talk about it then try again later.

Give her extra hugs and kisses and tell her that you love her alot and that she is mommys BIG GIRL. Tell her that you like it alot when she is acting like a BIG GIRL not a baby.

God Bless you and your family.
:)

Hi,
I think you may want to tell her some advantages she has because she is BIG .. I always told my eldest .. You are lucky to be big .. and see you can do this .. while you brothers .. they are still little .. They can't do it, can they? And I always ask for his help -- Big Boy and My helper ..Since my husband traveled and was hardly there to help -- he was the MAN of the house in dad's absence and Mom's helper .. Next in line of command .. And that worked for me and him ..He was super and still is -- as a big brother to my twins (very rarely he acts up ..but mostly he helps his twins brothers).
You may have to try few strategies .. I know it is hard for you and both the girls -- so little time and so much to do. Can Dad at times take the older one for special one to one -- even to Dunkin Donut?