Daughter Not Eating

In my opinion, the first thing you need to do is...... CHANGE DOCTORS, ASAP!!!!! If they are being rude, judgemental, and making you feel bad, then that means that they are NOT helping anything! Find someone who will! Also, they may try to charge you for transfering her records. If you don't want to do that, just wait until you make an appointment with the new doctor's office, and let them call and get the records. That's what we did. Good luck!

Don't worry...all three of my kids were born under 5 pounds...but full term and healthy. And were always the small kids in their class...but the doctors told me they will eat only when they are hungry. And as long as you are offering them foods they like...they will be just fine. I believe this is normal.

My daughter is almost the same way. She is 2 today and sometimes will go all day without eating anything but maybe fruit. She is just now getting to the point where she will eat a little at dinner. She only weighs about 21 pounds. I talked to a nutritionist, and she said when she eats, don't give her anything to drink. That has actually helped a little, besides me having to listen to some whining. When she tastes her food, then I give her the drink. I should probably hold out longer, but I'm a wuss. I do give her Flintstone vitamins every morning too.

I don't know what to say about your daughter, but I'd say go to a diffrent doctor!!!!!!! If they are like that, impatient, he's not helping, start fresh with a new one, tell him all that had happened with her and see what he advises, seems to me that when they see her coming they have an idea already that she is difficult. And for her, keep offering her a variety of foods. Sorry, don't get too overwhelm, I have also a two month baby boy and I know what it is, and my daughter is 5, but it's hard!!!!!!!!! You are a good mom!!!!!!!

I actually had the opposite problem with my now 2 year old. When he was 2 months old he was eating 8 oz every 1 1/2 hours. I had a doctor tell me to let him scream for an hour becuase I was feeding him too much and he was fat. He proceeded to tell me to put him on a diet at 2 months. He wanted me to give him apple juice as one of his meals instead of formula. I left the doctors office with a bad taste in my mouth and cried for two days because I thought i was a terrible mom. My son would cry as soon as we walked in the door at the doctor until we walked out. My husband and I talked and he was convinced that the doctor must know what he is talking about after all he is the doctor. I ended up going to a new office to talk to someone without an appointment and a doctor came out a reassured me that I didn't have a problem and my son was totally fine. If I were you i would shop around and find a new doctor. It sounds like the doctor you are going to doesn't fit your needs.

Good Luck
B.

I know you must be very concerned about your daughter's low rate. You don't say how her development is in other areas, but if all other areas besides weight are fine, I wouldn't think there would be a problem. I haven't had this situation with either of my daughters, but I remember that when I was a teenager, my cousin was very tiny. I took her trick-or-treating when she was 5 and she only weighed 29 lbs. She is normal in all aspects now and has three beautiful, normal children. It sounds like you don't communicate well with the doctor. Based on your inability to get answers from him and his office staff's incompetence in making notes in your daughter's chart, I would begin looking for another doctor. It would be much better for you to find a doctor who will communicate with you, answer all your questions, and make you part of the healthcare team than for you to have to go through all this steress. It would also be a good idea for your childrens' sakes to find a doctor that makes sure you, as the mom, know what is going on and make sure you understand as well.

I hope this helps. I am sure you are a wonderful mom. Just hang in there and start looking for another doctor.

How your child eats doesn’t defines you as a mother, some kids are truly finicky eaters.
Please visit www.yummyspoonfuls.com. For fresh organic baby food that is very yummy.

Are there any foods that your daughter likes that we might use to help you build some wholesome recipes around?

The most important thing is try not to be emotional, I know how tough it is as a mother but this is truly no fault of yours. I meet lots of mothers with picky eaters, all you need to do is make sure every little bite that she takes is packed full of nutrients.

Good luck and quit feeling guilty.

Cheers

Hi A., Dont worry about your babies not eating very much. They will let you know when they are hungry and just have healthy snacks on hand for them. I have a 3 year old and a 17 month old. The 3 year old willnot eat much because he fills up on juice (myfault). I started giving him water and he eats more but stillnot very much. My 17 month old will eat until he pops. The 3 year old has always been that way though not eating very much. I have a friend with very small babies and they are perfectly healthly just small. I am sure you are doing great as a mom and I always take what the doctor says with a grain of salt because, lets face it, sick people is their business. They are not going to volunteer something if it will make you well!! I have to ask my peditrician specific things. he never offered for me to give my kids a probiotic while taking antibiotics. Anyway. You are doing great just enjoy your little ones.

Don't beat yourself because your children are small for their age, if you are doing everything you can and providing them with adequate nutrition then you are doing everything that a loving and nurturing mother would do. I do agree with the concern of your physician in regards to your daughter only taking in whole milk. She needs an appropriate baby formula, whole milk does not have the appropriate nutrients to help sustain weight much less help her to add weight. I would really sit down and talk with the physician at your child's next visit and relay to him how confused you are about the mixed information you have received about one child verses the other. He should be willing to talk with you and help you find a solution and aleviate your despair, if not....then I would be finding a new physician.

I had a similar problem but not with my son's ped. His ped has assured me since my son was born that he was in perfect condition despite his small frame. I get wic for my baby and I WAS getting it for my now 4 yr old. Well at one visit with the "nutritionist" she told me that she was upping his vouchers b/c she didn't believe he was getting enough. I asked her why and she asked me what I usually feed him, I told her anywhere from cereal,pancakes,poptarts for breakfest and things like kid cusuine meals, hotdogs or w.e he's usually in the mood for and dinner is usually what were eating which is mainly meat and a couple of vegatable like brocolli or green beans. She asked me what I had fed him that morning and I told her some eggs with cheese and milk. Well apparently I wasn't living up to her standards of what a 3 yr old should eat. She began to explain to me that kids need more and that maybe I could take a little more time out of my day to feed him more food b/c he was considered small for his age. I explained to her that my husband is 6'1 and like 145 sometimes he reaches 155 at best. He was also very small as a child and very tall. My explination wasn't good enough for her and she thought maybe they needed to look into our home life. I took a deep breath in order to hold back my fist from having a meeting with her face and I calmly and firmly told her that if she had ANY problem with my child and his weight that she could call my childs doctor and take it up with him. I also told her that she could take those vouchers and shove them b/c I was taking my kid off of wic. I told her that my husband works well enough to feed our child and that her little milk and eggs weren't gonna make a bit of difference. I talked to her super visior and she told me that they arent qualified to give out personal advice and that if she thought there was a problem that she should have took proper procedures. I told her the same thing I told the wanna be doctor and she said that she would talk to her and that I wouldnt have to come to her anymore. I told this to my doctor and all he said was that " Everyone considers theirself a doctor nowadays,nutrionist...PFFT." So if you KNOW your doing ur part then find yourself a doctor that makes sense to you. I had to take my son to 3 different dentist to find one that wasn't trying to scam me. One wanted permission to strap my child down and sedate him if he cried during the cleaning and another after 5 mins of brushing his teeth told me he needed caps on his whole bottom row...after speaking to my son doctor he told me to find a REAL dentist b/c that one was just trying to milk my son medicaid and that my son wasnt even close to needing caps. The dentis office harrassed me for days trying to get me to tell them who I got my information from and why I wanted to change dentist. Now I take him to Pediatric Dental Specialist and they are wonderful..and guess what...caps were not needed, just as my doctor had said. So go with ur instints and remember that the people who are making you feel like ur a bad parent prob arent so hot themselves.

My daughter only weighed 14 pounds at a year old so don't worry. My daughter is now 12 and weighs 79 pounds and is 5'3", very tall and VERY skinny. When she was little the doctors would say she was underweight and to give her pedisure. I did that for a while and she would gain some but as soon as she stopped drinking that she would lose it. Then we got a new doc and he said not to worry about the whole curve thing and that as long as she is healthy and happy she would be fine. Hope this helps. My son is 8 and only weighs 50 pounds and is skinny too. Don't sweat it, you know your kids better than any doctor will.

As long as she is still active, bright eyed (alert) and doesn't look dehydrated, she'll be fine. They are more aware of their own bodies I think. Trust me, I freak out too when there's a change in behavior in my toddler. However, as long as there are no outward unhealthy looking signs, she should be fine. Some are born picky eaters, you just have to keep trying and especially not to force her to eat when she's not hungry. I know you're juggling another baby, and just try to figure out her cues for hunger. She might stick her fingers in her mouth? Remember to limit whole milk to 16-24 oz a day though, it sucks up all the iron from her body that she needs.

My daughter just turned a year this past weekend. She just reached 16 lbs also. I have had the same problem with doctors giving me mixed signals. I finally had to sit down and tell them exactly what my concerns were and what i thought would help. They really appreciated that i was open and honest with them. try telling your doctor about the weighing-in issue and ask him what the standard rules are. that way if a nurse tries to weigh her wrong you know yourself which way is right.

I have a three year old son that does the exact same thing. I will tell you what my mother told me. She WILL eat when she is hungry. She will not starve. If you are worried about her intake of vitamins and minerals, you can buy some Flintstone vitamins with iron, or, if you are really worried, some pediasure. One warning on the pediasure, though. If you let her, she will only want to drink, and will eat even less. I found that if I fixed my son breakfast as soon as he was awake, and BEFORE he drank anything, then he ate more. Take away the cup. Only allow her to have it AFTER she has eaten and only every once in a while throughout the day. If you let her sip all day, she will not want to eat. Really, the only answer to this is, when they are ready to eat they will. My son has gotten much etter about eating, but he still has his days. As long as she is healthy otherwise, you really shouldn't worry. If your pediatrician is harrassing you about her weight, maybe you need to find another Dr. Hope this helps!!

Hi A.,

I had a similar situation with my daughter in CA and it got to the point where my child was in the ER. She almost died. Like you, I blamed myself. I offered her diff foods, took her to the doctor, and talked with family and friends. Nothing was working. First thing you have to do is realize that you are a good Mother. Then you have to find another doctor. A peditrician that you feel comfortable with. I feel your pain. My daughter was so terrified of doctors and nurses until the age of four. We are doing well now and I know that you are going to be alright too. You definetly need to find another doctor, keep giving her a variety of foods, and give her time to adjust to new doctor and food. I will keep you in my prayers!

Hi. First off the doctors tell me that it doesn't matter where they are on the chart but if they are following the chart. I don't know if that makes sense. My son weighed 19lbs at a year and 21lbs at 20 months. He's on the bottom line on the curve. I was concerned but the doctor showed me how he was still following the curve just at his own pace. They said they would start to worry if he went off course so to speak. The other thing, not to worry you but my sister weighed 16 lbs at a year and recently she had to have gastric bypass surgery because she weighed 300lbs. So I don't think I would worry so much. One thing I do to help my son get all the calories he needs is to feed him often. He gets bored eating so I let him play with something while I am feeding him. Also he will eat more off of my plate than his own so anytime I eat I make sure to offer him some. With my older son I gave him pedisure mixed with whole milk. I asked the doctor about giving it to my younger son and he didn't think he needed it. It may be worth a try. I hope this makes you feel a little more at ease.

you are not inadquate and if your pedie and nurses are acting like that I would get a new doc I am sorry but they work in a ped clinic they need to know how to work with children that act up (not to say your child acts up ) but alot of kids have a bad experience at the doc and never want to go back because the nurse may raise her voice at them. if you want to keep the doc you have make an appointment to sit down with he/she and discuss your children with them that way they can explain in great detail to you how your children are doing and if he/she is not willing to do this get another doc. I hope this helps you out.

You should check with your Mom or your Mother-in-law to see if your children are following you or your husband growth pattern. It might just be genetic. It appears that you have picky eaters. They will pile on the pounds when there bodies are ready. I get concern about my son's weight when it time for his check-up.

Good luck

My son is 18 months and the only reason why he is a "normal" weight is because he is still nursing and loves his milk- food wise he is not very interested. One thing i have learned recently is that he is a grazer. I taught him a sign for food, and found he asked for it quite a bit, but only wants a bite or two. I just steam veggies, keep an avacado and banana handy and some raisins, and when he asks throughout the day give him choices. He doesn't eat much at once but by the end of the day he has had a wide variety of food. Many babies fit in that "normal" scale, this does not mean they are healthy. As long as your daughter is progressing, I would worry little. They have little tummies, and lots to explore, with little interest in food.

my friend had the same problem with her daughter....the nutricionist said to leave food out on a kids table where she could nibble on during the day, stuff she won't choke on and that is healthy.....she started gaining weight. She was so tiny and her stomach was so tiny that she couldn't take much food at on e time (lunch, supper). Also her grandmother is only about 4'11"........you may look at your family tree and see that there are some very petite people.

May be time to switch pediatricians. My daughter went through a phase with hers but is back to normal. If yours terror continues.....time to switch.

blessings!!

A.,

I actually had an appt today for my son's 9-mo well baby check up. He only weighs 17.7 which is not even 2 pounds more than from his last check up 3 months ago! In the waiting room at the peds office and everywhere I go all the other babies have cubby cheeks and rolls on their legs and everyone always comments that "oh, your baby is so small", "was he a premie?", ect., so I know how you feel. Just my opinion, but I am sure your daughter is healthy and that you are a great mom! All children grow at different rates just as everything else about them is different. You said she was off the curve, do you know by how much? How much did she weigh when she was born? Are you and your husband or family petite? There are so many factors that have an influence. Also as children become older they become more active espeically when the start walking which tends to put a hault on weight gain. One way to tell if you child is getting enough calories is by their sleep patterns, sleeping through the night is a sign that they have enough calories. I would also look into getting another doctor's opinion and that may make you feel better, also considering the way the nurses acted. It it their job to work with children and they should have plenty of patience. Hope this helps. My email is ____@____.com if you want to chat more. God Bless. -P.

A.-- I understand how you feel! My daughter who is 6 months weighs, 13lbs 2oz, two lbs less than her cousin who is only three months and weighed a lb less than she did at birth. And she is below the charts. However I know she is getting enough so I in order to keep myself from feeling inadequate or fretting to death, i take it with a grain of salt. I mean i am her mother I know her better than they do. If I am feeding her all she can eat then there is nothing I can do. I am not going to force feed her so she can just spit it up or cause gas or something. Also when I was a year old I was still in 3-6month clothes. The doctors actually sat my parents down and told them I was going to be a midget. However I am not. I didn't hit a good growth spurt until I was almost three. So I wouldn't freak out over it . I mean you can only do so much and it's not like you're not trying. Just hang in there. It'll be fine.

I would tell you not to worry too much but of course its different when you are not the parent. I am not a doctor but my daughter now 2yrs old weighs about 28lbs she will be 3 in october, however she is very petite or rather use to be. I could never get her to eat and she would barely take her formula. I breastfed for seven months and she was fine. I remember her weighing 16lbs forever and then all of a sudden she started putting on a little weight here and there. You might want to try her on vitamins. I use to give my little giry the infant drop vitamins and now she takes the little flintstones. Well on the other hand i now have a son who is 8months old and at seven months he weighed 20lbs. He is huge compared to my daughter but the doctor says every child is different and i agree because he eats everything and any kind of formula i breastfed him for 6months. My daughter is a very picky eater and has been since she started tablefood or food period. You might want to try something like macaroni and cheese or green beans or even french fries. I know it may sound unhealthy but as long as she is taking vitamins she will be ok at least that is what my doctor says. Try spaghetti things that she seems to like and keep with it. Dont worry too much she will be ok. Let me know how things go i dont mind the advice. I was once a very scared parent also. Good luck. A.

My now 5yo daughter was the same way. She was in the 6th percentile from the time she was 9 months until she was 3, when she finaly made it to 10th percentile where she has remained to this day. The pediatrician diagnosed her with failure to thrive and I had to give her pediasure to drink. Have you tried that? Does she eat healthy food when she does eat? My daughter, at 2, would say that all she wanted was a salad. So I switched to the spring mix because it has spinach in it, a lot more nutrients! My little girl just passed the 30lb mark at 5, so don't worry. As long as she is not sick all the time, and she is eating something. I would not stress.
For about a week, I would keep a food journal. Add butter, not margerine because you want the high fat, to everything she eats(if she will eat it) Peanut butter, if she is not allergic, is high in protein and fat. Eggs are good too! After a week, I would look at the journal to see how she has been eating, if it looks good to you, great! If you still feel like she is not doing that great, ask your doctor for a referral to a nutritionist. Most insurances cover it and some states offer it free.
They checked my daughter for kidney reflux, did all kinds of blood work and referred us to a nutritionist. She is just petite and has the appetite of a bird. She was a bigger baby and finally her weight gain just slowed down to what her body needed it to be.
I gave her all the whole milk she wanted and she ate small meals(healthy snacks really) all day long. She is perfectly healthy and looks like a little pixie. But, that is how God made her and she is healthy as a horse eating what little she does.

How petite are you and her father? Every body type is different. Keep trying to get her to eat. It you feel that she is eating her fare share and that she is healthy, I would not worry about it. My brothers kids are so skinny it is rediculous, but that is just how they are. Do not let the doctors intemidate you. Also, may you need to look into another pediatrician. They might be better for your daughter as well as for you.

My oldest, 4, will hardly eat anything. But he is a energetic and vibrant as my second who eats everything.

Good luck.

Just to encourage, I too had a petite daughter who did the same as yours. She would eat good at times and not so good at others. My Mother-in-law told me when I would be concerned, that she will eat when she gets hungry. She is not gonna starve. And she did ok. She is now a healthy 18 yr. old who is small framed. And I see you have a 10 yr. old, so you must have done something right with that one too. So listen to your husband when he tells you that you are a good mom.

I have the same problem with one of my boys. The doctor even told me to give him extra butter and calories. That made me feel like I was starting bad eating habits in my child. So now Isaiah is still off the curve. I feed him 3 meals a day and snacks when he wants one. He is growing but on his own time. Sometimes he is not hungry even when I think he should be. If I have made a meal I ask him to try but I don't force him. I think everything will be fine. If she is healthy and happy then it's okay. I don't like that there is even a curve b/c we are all different. Think about the Moms who have the kids way over what they are suppose to be. Good luck. I hope I helped.

i have the same problem with my daughter. wat helped us was to add the carnation breakfast drink to her milk twice a day, and let her eat wat she wanted(except junk). and her doctor wasn't helpful so i quit taking her for monthly weigh-ins. try the drink and see if it helps. good luck and keep your chin up.

Hi! I don't really have any advice to offer you, but just wanted to let you know that my daughter is the same way. Her doctors have never seemed concerned about it because she has always been small. She eats when and what she wants to and that's it, you can't make her eat. My daughter, at 2 years old, barely weighed 20 lbs and now at 4 1/2 she barely weighs 30 lbs. Her doctors have never said anything about. She is one of the smallest kids in her Pre-K. I just wanted to let you know that your daughter is probably fine and not to worry about it, all kids are different. Have a great day!

S.