Daughter May Fly for the First Time...

Updated on February 05, 2014
L.M. asks from Nampa, ID
23 answers

Hi, everyone! As some of you know, we've moved from Nevada to Idaho. My oldest daughter is having her friend fly out here for an extended stay. Well, my old friend/neighbor has invited my younger daughter to come out this summer (end of July). She will be 11 by then and has never flown. Driving her out there is out of the question (too far, too long, job restrictions, etc...). My question is, is she too young to fly on her own, do attendants watch out for kids/escort them (there would be a plane change mi-way. Any thoughts and advice would be appreciated... thank you all! btw.. daughter has stated she is nervous and scared but also wants to and is excited to... I just don't know anything about minors flying on their own and I'm apprehensive.

Thanks for your thoughts on this!!!

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M.O.

answers from New York on

Airlines have unaccompanied minor programs for just these situations. You just need to notify them, and possibly pay an additional fee.

I flew alone for the first time at 11 (I'd been in planes before, but not without my mom), and thought I was quite the cosmopolitan traveler. Went right out and bought myself a copy of Vogue in French (which I couldn't read), to celebrate ;)

2 moms found this helpful

⊱.⊰.

answers from Spokane on

My step-daughter started flying by herself at the age of 7 when her mother moved her away to another state. A parent stays at the gate until the plane leaves and an attendant walks the child off the plane to the other parent waiting (child has a necklace with all the info with parents name, etc on it and parent must show license). She has flown 6-10 x a year and she is now 19 and we have never had any issues.

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

In all honesty, she would probably be fine, you will be way more freaked out than she will be.

My suggestion? The 2 of you fly somewhere together. in the next few months. Look for a super cheap round trip flight.

This way she will understand what goes on and What she will need to do. Speak with the different Personnel to show her that she can ask questions of the airline personnel.

Like at the gate. If they are not too busy, go to them and tell them this is her first flight, the next time she will be unescorted except with airline personnel and ask them to explain to her what to expect.

On the plane, explain all of the rules and the etiquette to her. Going to the bathroom, answering questions that the flight attendants will be asking etc.

Make sure she wears a backpack with the most important things she will need. Make sure it is labeled. Put some snacks in there that she likes so if she does not like what they are serving she has things she likes.

For the actual flight alone.. Schedule it for the earliest departure. This is a better chance of all of the flights being on schedule. Consider getting her a prepaid cell phone so she can call you at each stop, when she gets to the gate, or just when she wants to speak with you..

Instead of being "nervous" for her be "Excited for her".. It will look the same to her, but helps her feel more calm.

Our daughter flew up to see my mom when she was a bit younger. She did just fine. I thought my husband and I were going to have a heart attack, but we stayed cool and confident in front of her. We reassured her she would be fine and to call us anytime she wanted to.

6 moms found this helpful
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S.B.

answers from Dallas on

Figure out what airline she will be flying on and find out what their rules are for "unaccompanied minors" There will be an extra fee involved. Airline personal will usually meet her flight, take her to her connecting flight. When she arrives at her destination, airline personnel would review the identification of the person picking her up (that you will designate). A lot of kids do this all the time. Maybe get her a DVD player, favorite new movie and earphones or something to help her pass the time.

4 moms found this helpful

D.B.

answers from Boston on

My son had to fly at 7 - It would not have been my choice, but we were visiting my mother, her brother died, and I absolutely had to stay and help deal with everything. It was a difficult situation anyway, plus my aunt and my 3 cousins were heavy smokers and I just couldn't justify keeping my child in that environment (I hated it myself). So I put him on a plane bag home to my husband. I was nervous (mostly that my husband wouldn't allow for the traffic and get there in time!), and I admit I shed more than a couple of tears when he trotted down the jetway with the attendant. When I spoke with him afterwards, I asked if he had been scared or nervous during the flight. He said, "No Mom, they check on you every 2 minutes!" I think most passengers are decent people, and the flight attendants can switch kids to a seat where someone has volunteered to help out. They won't allow her to sit in the emergency exit aisle, so that's nothing to worry about. Flights are so safe, and there's so much security in airports now anyway that there's so little risk. She won't be allowed off on her own, and she's old enough to speak up and ask questions of anyone in a uniform (security, airline agent, etc.).

He had some things to do on the plane and some snacks, and he was seated next to a very nice traveler who played a ton of "Connect 4" games with him! When he was taken off the plane and spotted my husband, he ran into his arms - even so, the staff said, "Sorry sir, we still have to check your ID." So I was happy about that as well.

Your daughter is older, more verbal, better able to entertain herself, and now there are things my son didn't have back then (cell phone, electronic games to play and iTunes to listen to), so there's even less to worry about. The plane escorts are really reliable and, in my experience, enjoying dealing with kids who are usually more fun than cranky, bossy adults in need of assistance. My guess is (and you should check), they will get her from one plane to the next in one of those golf carts, which may make her feel super important!

I'd consider taking her to the airport for a little bit of a dry run, have her read some signs and figure out where she's supposed to go. She won't need to do that on the actual flight day because she'll have help, but if she can navigate a little beforehand, you'll both feel more confident. Often, there are airline staff not just behind the counters but out where the people line up, to help "direct traffic" - so if you point all those people out to her, she'll see that she really can't go 20 feet without seeing an employee. And she will be escorted every step of the way - maybe you'll even see some kids doing the same thing and can point them out to her. With divorced parents all over the country, kids have been flying solo for many years.

I think it's a great opportunity for her to take on a challenge, succeed, and feel empowered. I think that's great for all kids, but especially for girls who get so many messages about being helpless victims.

3 moms found this helpful

T.F.

answers from Dallas on

She'll be fine. It is not that big of a deal. She is not a baby and she can speak up if she needs something to an attendant.

A couple weeks ago we were on a flight and there was a kid no older than 4 flying alone. He went on first with the Marshall, saw the cockpit and was seated in the front row so the attendants could monitor him. You could tell it was not his first flight.

It is normal for your daughter to be a little nervous and scared for the first flight but she'll be ok... Look at it as her adventure!

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E.T.

answers from Albuquerque on

My 17 year old niece comes to visit us yearly and has flown as an "unaccompanied minor" on almost every major airline. She's been coming to visit since she was 7. At age 11, most airlines will allow a child to take a connecting flight. They will all also charge an unaccompanied minor fee, between $50 - $100 each way. So yes, that can increase the amount of the ticket by $200. An 11 year old can NOT fly without paying this fee. The level of supervision varies by airline. Some will take really good care. Others will ensure she gets from gate to gate and that's about it. But on all airlines she'll be sitting with strangers and the flight attendants will check in on her maybe once or twice. There will not be a person available to hold her hand or provide a lot of care.

My advice is to make sure she's not on the last flight of the day to her destination. That way if there IS a delay or cancellation, she's not spending the night in the airport. Most airlines will have a room they take the kids to if that happens, but my niece told us that she basically sat on a couch with all the lights on all night long and watched movies.

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K.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Flying alone is not that big of a deal at 11. The flight attendants are really helpful and nice. You sign her up as an unaccompanied minor and they are sure to take care of her.

Honestly though, for her first every flight, I really don't think it's a good idea for her to go alone. If she could get a direct flight, I would say no big deal. But, since she'd have to figure out changing planes at the airport and dealing with what to do if she missed her connection, that can be very overwhelming if you've never done it before.

Can you or your husband fly out there with her, then return right away instead of staying? If she flies there with you, she'd probably be fine flying home by herself.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

The airline may charge an unattended minor fee. Talk to them about options for her, what will happen during a layover, etc. You will need to fill out a form and you will need to make sure that whoever is supposed to pick her up will be indicated on the form. Also, look into a notarized letter to allow the other family to travel with her and to provide her medical care in case of emergency.

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M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

I flew alone in 5th grade, so 10 or so. I was flying from Bermuda back to the states for an extended stay and then back to Bermuda. It was fine, it was also the mid-90's. I think it's still fine today though too.

One of my daugther's good friends has to fly to spend time with her dad. He used to live in Seattle and now he lives in Georgia. Either way, she always takes a plane alone. She does fine with it as well.

The flight attendants will be great with her and I'm sure she'll do fine! Good luck!

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S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

i flew alone when i was 10, from bermuda to utah and back, with a plane change each way. the final leg of my flight got snafu-ed, and the connection was missed with no more flights to bermuda that day. i ended up going home with a stewardess and spending the night with her family. she put me on the flight the next day and i made it home fine.
i wasn't afraid once, and thought it was a grand adventure.
obviously a stranger wouldn't be able to take a child home today (which is sensible but also kind of a pity) but the point is, the airlines are old hands at this. if your child isn't fearful, let them do their jobs. it's incredibly empowering for a kid to do something like this.
khairete
S.

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E.T.

answers from Rochester on

I had a 6 year old student who flew alone from Minnesota to Texas this Christmas. So they will let younger kids fly alone. They have flight attendants who help the kids, but I have heard stories of kids getting left behind. I would ask a lot of questions and be sure that your daughter has a cell phone or a way to easily get in touch with you.

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P.K.

answers from New York on

If she had flown before, and was comfortable with it, I probably would. Her maturity level would play into decision too. What if you let her go with assistance from the airline and she hates flying. She has a layover. I see the possibility of too many issues coming up. However that is just me.

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J.S.

answers from Richland on

You have to pay extra but they get kids where they need to be. Regardless of whether you want the service or not, they charge extra for minors flying alone.

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

My daughter started flying from Chicago to Oregon to my brothers home each year when she was 10. There is a small fee I think it might have been $10 for an "unaccompanied minor" they are kept with a flight attendant from the time they are checked in until they are handed over at the other end. Mine had a layover in TX. The person at the other end must have photo I'D in order to take the child. My daughter took books and tape player ( it was 1992 lol no no mp 3's yet. When my boys started making the trip we had a portable DVD player. It helps them to have stuff to do.

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J.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

I imagine airlines do this this all the time but I would not let my 11 year old do this.

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J.C.

answers from New York on

I don't think it's a big deal at all. Sure, you hear some horror stories but those are rare. Just be sure to do your due diligence ahead of time and she will be fine. If she were 5, I'd be worried. But 11- no problem.

I started flying alone at about 10 and even flew alone from Italy to NY at 15 with a connection in Switzerland.

All will be ok. Especially in the age of cell phones!

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S.B.

answers from Houston on

We have had no issue with our kids flying alone. Our daughter took her first flight when she was in first grade. She flew from Louisville to Chicago. The flight back was diverted to Indianapolis due to tornados in the Louisville area. Continental was terrific with her. They called us from the cockpit! Unfortunately, we didn't get the message because it was a two hour drive to the airport and we had already left. When we arrived at the airport Continental told us about the diversion. I was a mess! I started to leave and my husband was like "where are you going?" I said "I'm going to Indianapolis to get my child!!"

Continental assured us she was fine and that they had been in contact with the plane. She got off the plane smiling and so happy. No clue about the drama. All she knew was that the flight attendant and pilot were really nice and she got her wings!

We always tried to get direct flights for the kids. When my daughter would go to Arizona to visit my folks, she would have to change planes in Houston. My inlaws live near Houston, so they would go and help. We would give her a long layover and she would get to have lunch with her grandparents!

I recommend getting a straight shot flight to where you daughter would be going. If your friends need to drive to a bigger city to get her, they shouldn't have an issue. At 11, I see no issue with her flying by herself.

Its an adventure!!!

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T.S.

answers from Washington DC on

You'll have to contact the airline and check on their unaccompanied minor policies. It isn't as simple as just buying her a ticket and then just saying "hey she's a kid so keep and eye on her."

You'll pay a fee, but yes, they'll have her supervised. Typically, they'll allow (or require) you to go with her all the way to the gate and an adult on the other end will do the same. She'll then board the plane during pre-boarding and deplane last.

Many airline do not allow unaccompanied minors to make connecting flights so you may have to pay for a direct flight... others allow the connections for children over a certain age (maybe 10). It depends on the specific airline.

I think 11 is plenty old to fly on her own. I flew on my own a couple of times a year beginning at 8 and always found it very easy. My son is 8 now and I think he's still a bit young, but by 11, I'd certainly let him fly unaccompanied.

HTH
T.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I'd think she's too young to deal with flying, changing planes, getting off and on by herself, the stress of being trapped in a place without the security of mom or dad.

Isn't Nevada right by Idaho? I didn't realize it was a long drive. Guess I'll have to check it out. I love planning trips and seeing where there is along the way.

Can't you guys start out on a Friday evening and get there on Saturday? Then come home on Monday or Tuesday? A 4 day weekend for the 4th of July, a little early but still within the same month. They perhaps meet the friends half way when it's all said and done? Maybe just south of the state line or something? That way you could drive there, meet at a hotel, spend the night relaxing in the pool and hot tub, then head back to your homes the next day. Same when it's time for her to come home.

I'd love the travel and taking a short road trip.

If she was older, maybe 15 or 16 I'd think travel by herself would be okay. I know, logically, kids do this all the time but I just worry about the experience the kid has through all the confusion.

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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

I flew to michigan around this age. It was pretty cool, actually. Contact the airline and find out what the rules and procedures are.

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S.R.

answers from Kansas City on

I have to agree with Gamma G. If it were me, I would not allow my child to fly alone, but that is me because I don't really care for flying myself. I know lots of parents allow their children to fly alone with the help of flight crew but on occasion you will hear of one or two airlines not doing what they were paid to do and that is keep an eye on that child flying unaccompanied. I just have a really hard time putting trust in someone to care for my child, but that does not mean something will happen. It is just me because I am such a worry wart! Good luck!

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