Daughter Learning from Me?

Updated on November 08, 2010
S.T. asks from Kansas City, KS
11 answers

Why is it so hard for your own kids to learn stuff from us instead of other people? I'm a stay at home mom and daycare provider and I've been trying to do preschool lessons with my 3 yr. old daughter and 2 yr. old niece and my daughter just has an attitude everytime we sit down to do lessons I try to make it fun and she is fine before and after them just she doesn't want to listen to me my niece does perfectly fine. Just wanted your input thanks

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L.U.

answers from Seattle on

She is 3. She doesn't need lessons or need to "learn" anything right now. She needs to play by herself and with friends, learn to share, be nice, be respectful. If she already knows that stuff than she is ahead of the game!! Let her be little for a little bit longer mama...she has the rest of her life to do lessons!
L.

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I agree with Laura U. They're little. Playing IS their job. It's how they learn. Provide educational items (books, stacking blocks, crayons, paper,,etc) and LET THEM GO!
If it's not a game--they're not interested.
(p.s. Most kids are real troopers for ANYONE other than a parent. Totally normal.)

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S.G.

answers from Oklahoma City on

3 year old i think is a little young to be sitting for lessons unless it's a "learning" system like v smile or something of that nature and plus her attention span is not much so any more than 5 minutes of "sitting" lessons is hard for that age. maybe a lesson involving colors and shapes, give her a picture to color, and ask her to color the hat/square red, hair/circle brown, etc or color all the 2's on this page yellow, all the 1's green

mix up the way lessons are presented, when my daughter was that age, when on the road i would ask her what color is that car and point to the car or what color is the light in front of us when at a stop light or you can have a cookie, but answer this question first, then ask something simple, count to 5...then give her 2 cookies one just because and 2 for answering the question correctly

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K.E.

answers from Buffalo on

I do not know, I sang the ABC's 3 time a day for 2 years and would not sing them for me but whenothers sang it to him bam he got it and sang it for them, samething as to counting and colors. Stinkers, Stinkers, they love messing with us. I was a competitive swimmer, and he would not learn how to swim from me after spending $200 per year for 2 years and $300 this year he swims on his own and like a fish, but would not learn from me. I don not get it, but some are like that. STINKERS> but I cannot help but loving him!!

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

As a homeschool mom, I've learned that there are some things that my son learns as easily as breathing from me, and some things I couldn't surgically implant in his brain with a scalpel.

The trend in our house are the things I am too "close" to. I'm an artist & was a competitive swimmer & diver. Guess what? We farm out art lessons as well as swimming lessons. History I have to be really careful about because I love history. I also love science... but I'm naturally silly about science. History I get all serious about. He'll have years and years to get "serious". He's a kid. He won't need serious for years to come. And my "inflicting" serious on him takes all the joy out of learning. Ugh. Yes, lets take the joy out and make it a chore. Nope. Huh-uh. Not gonna do it.

Also... if I'm emotionally invested in something... it doesn't happen. Kids can REALLY sense when something is *important* to us. For things like not running in the street... grand. But seriously? Who needs to be emotionally invested in a timeline? ((Yep. That's me. Emotionally invested in a timeline. I solved that, btw, in making my OWN timeline that I work on while he works on his. That way I can make mine a "perfect" as I want, and he can make his how he likes and the whole thing becomes fun.))

I honestly didn't give a rip about numbers/counting, letters/reading... so those things flowed like water because they were just as easy as breathing. Counting steps as we walked up them. Skip counting by jumping off of one, etc. Singing the old commercial "20 more reasons to go to Disneyland" sung by kermit the frog amidst gales of laughter. BIG difference from "we are now going to sit down and learn to count". Things I don't particularly care about he inhales. Things I put pressure on *I* have to backup (I created a serious "balk" about shoe tying, btw, because I was all horrified that he didn't know how to tie his shoes... sigh... ONE of these days I'll learn). Because the problem is with me, and my attitude about them. If I make it a big flippin' deal, yikes! Bad news.

It's really easy as a parent to make something a big flippin' deal and not even realize it. I do it all the time. I certainly DON'T do that to other people's kids. So when I realize I have just opened mouth and inserted foot, I make fun of myself. Silly faces and tickles and moving onto "something completely different" work even at age 8 for those "whoops... need to NOT do it THAT way moments".

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C.H.

answers from Dallas on

That's one of the first lessons of parenthood. It just is so. Doesn't mean you should stop trying. I tried every trick in the book to help tutor my daughter. Sure, she gained some from it and learned how to study on her own -- in later years when she reached out for solutions. But this is just normal. Same thing goes for spouses. If they doesn't listen to you, they may listen to a counselor.

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D.D.

answers from Chicago on

Probably because she is comfortable with you. I bet if when you take her to a preschool out of the home, she will be different. Hang in there. She will do well. My daughter is the same way at home...at school she is an angel with the teacher!

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R.D.

answers from Kansas City on

No age is 'too young' to begin learning. Kudos to you for trying!! Maybe instead of formal lessons, you can play learning games. Puzzles (which help logic centers of the brain), counting toys (or puzzle pieces), coloring, stacking/nesting toys, sensory toys (play-dough...there are recipes online to make some at home and the kids can help make it), and naming EVERYTHING's color and shape during normal conversation can do wonders. READ many, Many, MANY books!!!

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P.O.

answers from Harrisburg on

Because it is too close for comfort. The human nature seem to do better when it is not our own.

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A.R.

answers from St. Louis on

Hi S.,

Just don't do it in a formal or too structured way.
What you are doing, it is probably fun for you but not for her. "Don't sit down to do lesson". Sit down on the carpet, bring crayons and count them, name colors, repeat and make the kids repeat, change your tone of voice, it sounds silly but that way they won't be bored. Let them scribble a little bit and draw "lines", count them together, sing a song (ABC's, anything).Play "toy food", name each fruit or vegetable, or any other kind you may have. Little by little you can increase the "time" for teaching. Later, let them have a little break, then let them play with clay and make stuff, shapes, circles, etc.Just ideas!

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A.S.

answers from Detroit on

When your kids are better for everyone else, you're doing something right.

Most kids don't want to even think their parents KNOW what they're talking about... Every kid is like this.

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