My daughter is having trouble in school she is constantly not turning in her work she does it but is to lazy to turn it in. She will have to get a test signed and gets an F because she is to lazy she failed an open book test cause it was to much trouble to get her book out. I do not know what to do we have tryed every punisment and nothing works. She just does not care I have talked to teachers and they agree that giving her consiquences her not affect on her. PLease help
p.s. she is in 6th grade
She came to live with us last April cause her mom could not handle her anymore. Her mom said well she has always been a C student. Which is not true I monitor her grades and if she just turned it in and had the stuff signed that she needs to she would be great. P.S. Had sAme problems at her moms.
I have talked to her teacher and counsiler about this. they all say that it is not a learning disability. Also she is her with her dad and me now and I have been there since she was a year old and is now 12 so its not a new invoroment she has lived with us before in preschool cause her mom couldnt do it. I knopw part of it is she necer had the support system in place before for school and now she does so that is new to her but we would just like to know how to help her.
She does have ADD and is on medicine for it and has been since JUne, Her mother kept putting her on and taking her off but having 2 other children with it I know the importance of consitinsy.
Sounds like low self esteem to me. Can you or have you gotten her involved in any team sports or a dance or art class or a music lesson of some sort. She needs to excel at something that will make her feel good and special. It will reflect on her school work and give her more pride to accomplish. See if there is something she would like to try that you think she may be good at and give her the chance to shine.
I think there is a lot more going on then laziness. She is acting out for some reason, she is angry? or trying to control a situation she cant control? or afraid that even if she tries she will not do well enough. Has she had academic problems in the past? or was she a perfectionist? I really dont believe it is laziness so I hope you can figure out what it is
You say lazy way to many times. Kids need the right kind of pushing to get them to work. She has left her mom where she probaby had issues she is with you and having issues. She needs someone she can talk to that can help her sift through her issues. Someone separate from the family. She is acting out for a reason. Also 6 grade is when they become aliens for a while. She is growing and trying to figure things out. Usually they come back when they are 16 if you give lots of encourage ment and help. A change of scenery will not change the issues inside her she is obvously dealing with
She may have a learning disability. It happened with my brother and my nephew. Everyone thought the were lazy and Cs was the best they could do. Once they were diagnosed correctly, their grades and behavior dramatically improved. I would have her checked out by a educational specialist and a counselor. It may just be some problems she is having after being at her moms and having to leave her moms. I could only imagine that if my mom made me go live somewhere else because she couldn't handle me anymore, that I would feel a great sense of abandonment.
Please talk to your pediatrician about specialists to take her to. If the teacher and counselor won't recommend anything further, then personally send a request to the school district's child study team.
There needs to be an intervention for this child. It seems as if there is more going on than laziness.
Is it possible to get her a tutor (even an older student) to help her with some organizational skills and routines?
I was very much like this in school. I was extremely bright and was able to skate through because I could ace every test, but I was forever loosing assignments or getting distracted at the moment we were supposed to turn them in, or even thinking they were finished then being surprised that they were only half done when I got to school and then hiding them.
The list goes on and on.
Anyway, I was really lucky to have some great, organized friends. My friend Lindsey would literally come over once a week and clean out my binder for me, putting things in the right places. Another friend would remind me to turn in assignments and even wait until I got it out and walk it up with me! I wasn't a bad kid... and I was very smart... I just really struggled with inattention.
You may want to talk to her doctor about the medication or dosage if it doesn't seem to be helping her with this... but the meds won't fix the behaviors themselves if she doesn't know WHAT to do to do it right. She's gonna need some help learning HOW to get and stay organized.
T.
I don't think you can punish her into learning to love learning. Have you asked her what she likes about school and what she doesn't? Also how you can help her.
Part may be organization. Can you work with her to make a 'system' to turn in her work - could be a colored binder, a note to herself or a reminder system with a friend. Maybe the teacher could remind all the kids to turn in the work instead of assuming they will.
Does she read well? If not, she may not be willing to let anyone know this and would rather look 'lazy' than 'stupid'. Going to the library and checking out books together each week may help a lot. Reading for fun may be a lot more motivating than reading for school.
My son went through the same thing.
He still does to a point but not as much.
You have to be very diligent about the consequences. I put him in counseling and one thing I learned is that I cannot make him want to do well. He has to want it. The more I push him to do well, the more he pushes back and does not do the work.
I try to remain very calm and monitone when I talk to him and just give him the consequences. If he gets less than a "B" in any subject I take all electronics out of the house and store them at a friends house or at a client. He has his phone to go back and forth to school but when I get home at night or on the wekends, I take the phone.
It was a struggle at first, but I see the difference in him now that just staying consistent with expectations and consequences makes.
My son now gets upset when he ends up with a "C" in a class and then when he brings the grade up above a "C" and the teacher does not immediately enter the new grade into the online system that I can dialinto and look at, he argues with the teacher because he wants his priveleges back.
I am a single mom and it is rough and I donot envy you but it will get better. Maturity has alot to do with it.
I do not know where you live but my sons grade school counselor suggested a wonderful high school called Rickover Naval academy. It is in the city so you would have to be a resident of chicago but it is a CPS school but run on military principle such as stricty discipline, etc. My son actually made the decision after he was accepted there to go. He also had been accepted at Lincoln Park's double honors program (inetersting as he was getting C's and D's in grade school) but his test scores are very high. He had to choose between Lincoln Park and Rickvoer Naval Academy and going to Rickover has made a difference in him with attitude and grades. He is a freshman there this year and it is interesting to see the difference and I am not sure if he went to our neighborhood high school or even Lincoln Park if he would be the same person or have the same attitude.
If you would like to talk further to a mom who has been going through the same thing you have for years with my son-constant teacher conferences, etc., my phone nubmer is ###-###-####.
not a learning disability but an attitude problem... she may be going through something you are not aware of or she is acting out to spite you...
Please order a book from Amazon today, and read it. It is called The Myth of Lazyness by Dr. Mel Levine. If you do not find your answer there, I would be surprized. Please read it, then get her the intervention she needs.
M.
She may not have a learning disability, but she may very well have ADHD or ADD. ADHD or ADD are not considered learning disabilities. The ability to learn is there, they just need help keeping focused on the task. There are many forms that ADHD or ADD can show itself. Some are too hyper to sit still and do their work, others are in a day dream world and find it too much trouble to focus and try. It is not that they are not smart enough to do the work but rather they have problems focusing on the work.
I was considered ADD with daydreaming. I am easily distracted with what is going on around me and find myself thinking about other things instead of focusing on the task ahead. Teachers called me lazy for years until a Doctor diagnosed and treated me. After that I did quite well in school.
Is ADHD a disability?:
http://www.brighthub.com/education/special/articles/62292...
Questionnaire on ADD:
http://www.addcentre.mb.ca/addq.pdf
Questionnaire on ADHD
http://www.attentiondeficit-info.com/pdf/quest-tdah-eng.pdf
Just for the record, I have ADD, my brother has ADD, my mom has ADHD, and my oldest son has ADHD. My mom and my son are currently taking medication. I am a stay at home mom and see no need for it at this time in my life. My brother should be on medication but is not. He would loose his head if it was not attached.
This young lady has so much emotional turmoil going on, it makes her life very complicated. Look beyond lazy and please get her to a counselor who can help her with the deeper issues of mother abandonment and attachment disorders. I really feel for you. I have two grand children with ADHD who also fail to turn in their assignments but they both have emotional and environment issues clouding their organization skills. These kinds of kids need LOTS of love, encouragement and patience from several people. Good luck!
I know a lot of kids that age that don't turn in their work or apply themselves because they want to look cool with their friends. I remember I did that a few times because I loved the attention. My cousin did it for the cool effect all through middle and high school. What worked for me is my parents would not accept anything less than a B. They were both high school counselors and would take me on college trips from 6th grade on. They would always say, if you hate us and you hate living with us, then apply yourself and you can go away someplace nice and get away from us. Don't apply yourself and fail in school and you will be living with us forever and your friends will go no where.
