My daughter is very attached to her bottle and, honestly, I'm concerned about it. However, I am trying to be sensitive to her emotional needs. I'm not sure where to draw the line.
The bottle has clearly become her transitional object. She takes it to bed at night and sleeps with it like a stuffed animal and plays with it, "Now, Milky BOttle, you try." My daughter will be 3 in October and will be starting preschool in a few weeks. And we just had a second baby 3 months ago. I know this is an important time for her and her need for a transitional object is pretty high. Still, I'd like for her to have less bottle in her life.
She still drinks from it. We only allow milk once in the morning and once at night, before bed. It's taken awhile but she's getting used to that. Still, when she gets stressed out, the first thing that she wants is the bottle. However, lately, I don't give it to her, even with water in it. I try to talk her through it. I always encourage cups, sometimes "forgetting" the bottle at home, etc. And I'm careful to keep a neutral attitude to the bottle in my demeanor and speech.
My thought is that first we need to disassociate the milk from the bottle. Which is like weening. And then the bottle is really just a big pacifier. So, then we can use the same methods people use for giving up a pacifier.
I'm curious to know what people have to say about this. Are we on the right path? Are we making a big deal out of nothing?
So, it took a week but she's off the bottle. There have been some real tantrums over it. But it's ok now. Thanks for the advice!
Hi S.,
When I was young, my father and mother let me trade my pacifier for a new toy. And if I asked for it they reminded me about the great new toy I traded it in for. They said it was really positive because they explained big girls get toys and pacifiers are for babies.
V.
Hello! I don't want this to sound cold-hearted but I thought it was common knowledge from pediatricians and dentists that transitioning off of a bottle should occur by the age of 1. It seems that so many parents are worried about upsetting their child when it is time to make a change, they forget that a parent's primary job is to teach our children how to adapt to change and follow rules we set. You need to just set the rule that there are no more bottles, and have your child follow that rule. If you are having trouble transitioning the child off a bottle, how will you handle the bigger issues - - don't stay out past curfew, don't smoke, don't drink? We have to do our job as parents which means setting the rules even if it may mean your child is upset for a day or two or whatever.
Again, I do not mean to come across cold-hearted but there just seems to be more and more of these types of posts where it sounds like the child is in charge and the parent is just trying to be a "good friend" instead of a parent. Good luck.
From a mom of 4.
Like the other poster said, I don't want to sound cold either, but you have asked for opinions. So, I was a tad shocked to learn that your daughter will soon be 3 and is still on the bottle. Yes, I'm sure you will have a few days of tantrums and "bottle wanting," but believe me, this won't be the only thing in your daughter's life that you will have to be tough on. Honestly, it will hurt you more (not having the crutch to fall back on) than it will hurt her.
Having just taken my younger daughter to the dentist for the first time, my pediatric dentist said that about 50% of his patients my daughter's age have cavities! And, he said we live in an affluent area with floridated water. He basically said it's due to too many kids having the bottle too long....especially when going to bed. Just something to think about.
Good luck to you!
i would do it quick and fast. tell her that she is too big for a bottle, it will hurt her teeth, etc. then get rid of it. be sure your baby has a different type than the ones she is used to. i think you'll be surprised it wont be as big a deal as you think it will be. that is how it was for my daughters giving up the pacifiers. i thought it would be awful and it was actually just one bad night, maybe a half hour. they were both really attached to it too. we replaced it with something of their choice which was soft and cuddly so they could have it instead of the paci. much easier than i thought. good luck be tough! you can do it. whatever you do dont go back and give her the bottle afterwards no matter what. sshe doesnt need it.
I let my first two children have their bottles until they were three. Really make a big deal about her third birthday and she will know the time is coming to give up her bottle. Let her help pick out a new cup and that is that. Don't worry too much about the "associations", you can go crazy trying to analzye it. It really is harder on us than it is on them. You have to follow through though, because "you are the boss, applesauce". You have to make sure that they realize you are in control and actually that makes kids feel safer. Good luck! FYI--one of my bottle kids has cavaties and one of my breastfed kids does too, not sure if it would have made a difference to wean earlier.
My son is 23 months old and we have a new baby at home. A few weeks ago we we decided to get rid of his bottle because it was obvious that he was gaining the life skills necessary to "deal" with things without having to rely on it. We had one day of great frustration and that was it. Like your daughter, he only drank milk out of it in the morning and at bedtime. We just handed him a sippy cup with milk in it when he woke up that morning and told him the bottles were broke and if he wanted milk he had to drink it from the cup instead. There was pouting, sadness, some tantrum behavior but he got over it as the day progressed. The next day he looked at us like we were crazy when we handed him the sippy cup again, but he took it and drank it (after thinking about it for a while).
I think kids are more adaptable than we give them credit for. You will have a day or two of hard times, but she will get over it and find other means of comfort. Maybe buy her a special toy or stuffed animal that can substitute for the bottle while she is going through the transition. Its hard to be the bad guy in situations like these, but you know what's best and as long as you follow your heart everything will be fine! Good luck!
Not all the children are the same some get more attached than others. My daughter who is almost six now had a bottle till she was three and a half. I tried to take it away when she was two but she was really attached and I could tell she was not ready. Till this day she definetly my most feisty one and just has a real delicate nervous system. She gets upset and stressed easly which im workin on and hoping she outgrows soon. When I found out out I was pregnant with my fifth I decided I had to take her of otherwise it may never happen. I just slowly reduced the number of bottles till I only had a nightly one then I told her we lost it at the park and told her to use a sippy cup while she never really used the sippy cup basically skipped the part she did get over losing the bottle. It was a lot easier to do when she was 3 1/2 than 21/2 thats for sure I dont regret it at all. She has no speech or teeth problems and she is almost six now. Good Luck!
My son was like that to and we did it cold turkey. He was upset for a few days but that was all. He found something else for a comfort item.
