Daughter Distraught After Pacifier Weaning

Apparently I was addicted to my 'binky' way past 2 years old - they broke me of my habit by giving me the slanted paci upside down and told me it didn't fit any more. Another thing I've read is to cut a small hole in it that ruins the suction. Regardless, it's not the worst habit! Couldn't adults sometimes benefit from them?

My son gave his paci to Santa at the mall. He was all for it and even put it in the box in the morning and remembered to take the box to the mall. That night he did ok, only cried about 30 minutes. The second night was worse, almost hysterical but finally calmed down and went to sleep. After that he was fine. I'm sad to say he was almost 3 1/2.
Does your daughter understand when things are broken they get thrown away? This has helped with several friends... The kids ended up biting the paci and poking a hole in it, making it unsafe. One boy said 'sucky broken' threw it away and never asked for it again and he was one that always had his sucky in. His mom had a backup but the boy never asked for it again. Another boy bit his while out of the country and they couldn't get that brand where he was. He understood that and was ok. He was another that always had it in.
If this doesn't work, how about giving her a special blanket or stuffed animal to hug on while she goes to sleep. I know how you feel about the back rubbing. We did that for 6 years! But that is easier to wean off of than the paci. Just cut the back patting by a little each night and before you know it you won't be doing anymore.

Hi, my daughter just turned 2 on the 28th of December, we tried to take the paci away also. She seemed to need it the most at bed time, so we let her have it only at night. Once she got use to taking a nap without it, On saturday night I told her I couldn't find any more, she cried for about 30 min on and off for the first two nights, but I'm glad to say, she has not had it for 5 nights, and today makes 5 days! Just hang in there, she will let it go. Only give it to her at night time, then act like it's not a big deal, if she asks for it when you put her down, say O yea, but you have to give it back when you wake up.
Good luck!

I do not think 2 is too young to give up the pacifier. My pediatrician recommended that you give it up by 15 months, so we stopped my daughter at 16 months. We also did it cold turkey, and we had 3 terrible days (she only used it at naps and bedtime) of crying and not sleeping well, but then she was fine. I really think it's better to do it younger rather than waiting because they forget about it more quickly at a younger age. I hope it gets better soon--and you're definitely not a failure!!

N.,
Could your daughter maybe just use the pacifier to sleep? Maybe just at night, naps are for practicing to be a big girl (no pacifier). You are right to try now to get rid of it as it will just get harder the older she gets. But perhaps if you do it more gradually, talking to her about giving it up and giving her a date, like Easter (if you do the bunny). You might have tried all of this already with the baby coming. Some kids can go cold turkey and some can't. It was worth a try. How long has she been without it? If you still regret giving her the found pacifier you can always have her help you put it in an envelope to mail to the baby. The one thing you should remember is that anytime you try your best to do the right thing for your child, you are never a failure. You will look back all of her life and wish you had done things differently here and there, but when you act out of love and concern and with the best knowledge you have, you are doing the best you can. No child could ask for more from a parent. I have an eight year old and twelve year old and I second guess myself all of the time. But I love these kids with all of my heart and I would never willingly make a bad decision about them. Your baby is lucky to have you! Good luck.

How many days has it been? We recently took our 17 month old daughter's away and the first 2 days/nights were bad but now she is fine. I really do believe she has completely forgotten about it. My suggestion is not to waiver on it. Either take or give it but don't go back and forth.

I wouldn't do it cold turkey. A two year old just doesn't understand. LEt her have the one only for naps and bedtime and try taking it from her, giving it to her like every other day, every two days, every three days until she doesn't need it at all.

Hi,
You might want to consider taking her pacifier away in stages instead of cold turkey. It is a source of comfort for her and also her way of comforting herself. Now she has no way to get to sleep or comfort herself. You might try letting her have it at nap and at night only until she is closer to 3. I did this with my son and it worked well. My 4yo sucks her thumb, which of course I can't take away, but I'm not stressing too much about it. I think she will give it up when she is ready. Hope this helps.

Just went through this with my 3 yr old. I did wean him first....only used it for sleeping for about 5 months. Took it completely away one week ago, with his actual age being 3 yrs, 1 mo.
There are a few different theories on when to take a pacifier away.....some are as early as 15-18 months to as late as 3 years. I do personally feel it varies depending on the individual child. A pacifier can cause some minor dental changes but typically it's use does not cause any long term issues. Thumb/finger sucking tends to change the dental/palate structures. As a speech-language pathologist, I also always watched my child's speech pattern as well as dental formation to make sure I wasn't allowing his pacifier use to hinder his development. I did notice minor dental (which I did speak to his dentist about) but no speech delays/distortions. I had always told myself that my son had until he was 3 yrs old & then it would be time to get rid of the "baba". At 3 he has the mental ability to understand the "trade" and to discuss the events that were about to take place. We discussed it for the week prior (trading a pacifier for a train) and then we did it. He did ty to trade back that night but after that first day, his withdrawals were very minor. He's done very well and I'm very proud of him. We have explained that he agreed to the trade/deal and it's not something he can change his mind about. He has ALWAYS used his pacifier to sooth himself so this was a very difficult step. My other son (18mo) also uses a pacifier but he's not near as dependent on it...his emotional stability doesn't rely on a pacifier....again, it so depends on the individual child. Sometimes it's a hard call when there are so many different opinions on the use of a pacifier.
Best of luck!

I could be completely wrong here, but we did the same thing. She just wasn't ready. That is okay. Cole was almost three, I just didn't let him turn three with a pacy. You need to sleep. Don't beat yourself up. It is okay. I just didn't tell my pedi about it. She gets grouchy. My youngest takes a bottle still. I feel like I need to take it. He is so attached to it and It makes me so sad to upset him. I am doing the same thing with him. He will not turn three going to bed with it, which is April 10. OMG, that is close. Pray for us.

You are NOT a failure. It is the weaning process. I am weaning my son from his paci as well, his pedi said at 18 months but it was very hard w/him being sick. He only takes it at night and during his nap but there are times he falls asleep without it but would wake up looking for it.
Last night while he was falling asleep I went to check on him and found a HUGE hole in the rubber part of the paci so that is when I decided that he is ready to be weaned.
He had a hard time falling asleep last night and this afternoon for nap but I have faith that it will get better.
Maybe if your daughter has a lovey that might help ease her.

Good Luck
M.