If my daughter ignores mean girl behavior, she is told she is too nice or a pushover.
If she asserts herself, she is "bossy" and not getting along well with others.
This is how she feels. Any advice for WHEN to be assertive and when to let it go?
i don't have any advice - but your story rings a bell for me. i think as good moms we look at everything, examine all the data, possibly over-analyze. maybe talk to your daughter and see what SHE thinks, rather than what everyone else thinks. if you take out other peoples' comments and just focus on her feelings on the matter, maybe that will help you come to a conclusion.
She also needs to learn what a friend is. She doesn't need to keep going back and being friends to others who treat her poorly, because they aren't friends.
This is a difficult one, because you sound like you are really listening to your daughter's needs and supporting her as best you can. Mean people will always single out someone they can bully, even as an adult. So, in some respects you may just have to take a step back and let your daughter handle things herself...whilst being ready to jump in if she asks for/needs help. Which of course is really hard when you want to protect her! That way she can learn/find out herself a good way for her to deal with the situation that may, unfortunately come up again. As for being bossy...if she knows good manners and is respectful, a bit of assertiveness is never a bad thing!
Are you the GS Leader? If you are then it's time to stand up for ALL your girls! AND stand up TO ALL your girls! You need to have a meeting about bullying, self respect, respect for personal space, words that hurt, etc..
You can go online to Dove & become a 'representative' for beauty, they send you a DVD that you use to help girls to become persons who have, 'inner beauty'. Most, 'mean girls' lack self esteem so they make fun of others to satisfy their inner need to make themselves feel more secure about themselves, of course this doesn't work for them or the girls they are bullying & it SURELY doesn't mean your DD should EVER have to put up with BS from them, it just means you can help them become someone they can be proud of, that is your job as their leader.
If you are not the leader of the troop then become an assistant & work with the leader to achieve peace & harmony in the troop, if you try & nothing works then it is time for her to leave the troop & the, 'EVIL, SELF RIGHTEOUS' women that seem to be doing their best to make you & your DD responsible for the shortcomings of others!
Girl Scouts is supposed to be fun & educational, to help girls to become the female leaders of tomorrow, if this isn't happening in your troop & you can't change it, she needs to find another troop or something else to do with her spare time, maybe sports, a bowling league or the choir at church, something that is fun NOT hurtful!
