Daughter Afraid to Go to School

Take it from someone that had the same thing happen and I told noone and ended up fighting with a much older girl and her 2 friends. Being a narc will go away but being the girl that got beat up won't.

Hi E., unfortunatly I have been in this situation to many times. It's always been with boys for me, but I instruct the kids to go to school after the fact and see what the response is from the other students, more times than not most had forgotten all about it and have moved on to other things. It may take a day or it may take a week, but the worst thing she can do is be stand offish to the other students. She made the right choice by getting an adult involved and should not be shamed for it. Especially if she and the other girl came to some kind of terms. If she finds that this is not the case, I would say both you and her go to the principal and get him/her involved. I have had to do this as well. I see that you have a 15 y/o son, do they attend the same school? I would use him as a resource for her as well, I encourage my kids to look out for each other. Don't know if this will be much help, but I wish you and your daughter the best.

She's probably right. When I was in school (eighth grade, I think) a girl put chewing gum in my hair. I proceeded to sit in the bathroom and rip a half-dollar size bald spot into my head. My mom made me go to the principle, who spoke with that girl, and my best friend who was also in on it. I lost my friend (for that year...I'm 33 now and we still talk even though she's in another state) and for the remainder of the school year, I was actually called "narc". Not reassuring, I know, but kids are mean, and it's a realistic possibility that there will be repercussions. On the other hand, she did the right and mature thing. If her "friends" want to give her a hard time, then she'll have to seek out new friends. I realize I sound flip, and I don't mean to trivialize it at all. This is a sad situation, and it may (or may not) be really hard for your daughter. Keep an open line of communication with her and be as supportive as you can. Sorry this is happening to her.

As a child, I went to 20 schools in 7 different states. I found bullies in every school. 7 th grade was hte worst. Something about 13 and beign a girl it is the most trying and horrid time. DOes your daughet have good friends at thsi achool? they may be her best allies. There is protection in numbers, as the saying goes.
My mom taught me to give them the Freudian treatmetn, onc ei asked a girl if her father abandoned her and she had insecurity issues. I told her I was there for her and I allow her to pick on me if it helps her get through her anger and grief. Yes I really said this to her. SHE LOOK MORTIFIED AND WAS EVEN MEANER TO ME BUT AFTER a few days passes, one day in P.E. She came up to me and asked if she could talk to me. SHE THEN TOLD ME SHE WAS BEING MOLESTED BY HER UNCLE AND NEEDED HELP. Boy did I open a can of worms! I was being sarcastic and just trying to get this bully off my back and she opened up to me! I am not saying it wil be that easy for your daughter but if she tried reaching out to this girl , who knows!

unfortunatly I have been in this situation. I was raised in a small town with the original bully girls these were some mean rednecks I tell you. This is not going to sound very politically correct but your daughter needs to know you are on her side. Do not leave her to deal with this on her own. This just doesnt stop with a "contract" from a vice principal trust me. She needs you to back her up, go to the school talk to the principal talk to the girls parents if you can. but above all let her know that if something were to happen if this girl does happen to confront her that she is supported by you if anything happens. Her brothers and sisters need to back her up at school, I am telling this is a legitimate fear, the other kids might think she tattled but I am guessing she is not the only one to have a problem with this girl. Rally her siblings and her friends but make sure she knows you/they are there for her every step of the way. It helps trust me

I would enroll her in a different school. My little sister had this problem when she was in school and depending on the bully it can be life threatening once a teacher or especially a princepal becomes involved. Some kids don't care what adults say and what the outcome of their actions may bring. It may be a pain in the butt to have to take her to school but especially in Las Vegas there are soooooo many schools. Take her completly out of the neighborhood you are in and put her in another school!!!!! If kids are afraid there is a good reason!

I am going through the same thing with my 11yo. In fact, I have taken him out of school, and waiting for homeschool online to accept him.
He will be doing Odyssey charter school. Now that he doesnt have to worry about who is going to pick on him next, he can actually learn something!!
What did you and your daughter decide to do?

I know that if it was my daughter I'd advise her to talk to the principal. If the principal did not want, or could not do much to protect my daughter I'd see if it'd be possible for my daughter to carry a can of pepper spray or mace with her. If she can take it (you might need to get special permissions though, [and i think a active problem with a bully would justify a special permission] as some schools have banned it, and if you're caught with it you can get expelled) with her make sure she knows how to use it and to only use it when its really, really necessary. It's non-lethal and is short term, but if she's getting attacked it'll give her time to get away.

This situation is a painful one for me as I went through this in 8th grade. The bully that didn't like me was one that had many friends, many of the same ones that I had, but for some reason, once she decided that she didn't like me, my friends started turning on me to the point that I had nobody to turn to. I was terrified to go to school because she was everywhere. I told my mom what happened and we met with the principal, but this made the situation worse because she got in trouble which made her even more angry at me. My mom ended up keeping me home from school for a few weeks as I was too scared to go, and I was very dedicated to school and always got good grades, but my grades were taking a beating because of the stress at school. I got really depressed and ended up going on anti-depressants. A few weeks later, we moved to a different city and I ended up going to a different school, which was nice for me because I didn't have to deal with it anymore. A couple of my friends came to me after the fact and apologized for what had happened and we have remained friends, and I ran in to this bully a few years later, and she didn't remember it until I told her who I was. She couldn't even remember why she didn't like me. This will pass, but don't underestimate what your daughter is feeling because when you are in the situation, having others turn against you makes it even harder and she could go downhill mentally in no time at all. Good luck to you and I really hope for the best for you and your daughter.

hi E., thats crazy i have never heard of a principle make up a contract.its not a buisness deal. this is on the leval of bullying your daughter.It is deffinatley set up for other kids to pick on her,i would urge you to make a appointment with the principle not the assistant. because he or she does not get it and i would let that person know you want results with this situation. and would like this also brought to the other parents involved and have them there because all this is doing is setting it up for that child to keep moving on to other kids. thats why there is so much suicide amongst our children because of this kind of display and the teacher or principal doesnt do nothing about it the parents should be there to hear about this because alot of times parents dont even know whats going on with there child .because its not brought to there attention. you should really praise your daughter for telling someone. that shows her standing up for her self and now she needs you to back her i wish you luck.but do something about this for other kids sake.

We are dealing with this right now. My 14 yr old daughter began being bullied in 7th grade (two years ago). When it got to the point of unacceptable names and threats, we too had a meeting with the principal. This got us no where, except getting her bullied even more for bringing her "mommy" into it. I even tried speaking to the parents of the girls involved, that was even worse, I now see where the girls get their violent behavior from. Eventually I had to enroll her in another school close to us. After being away for a year, we tried to go back to the school in question, this year, as a freshman. Things started out badly again, she got just sick of it and eventually turned around when being called a name and told them if they wanted to go on and call her names, etc. to go ahead but that she was done running, she was through crying and she would not let them affect her any longer. For some reason, this worked. When she stopped being a victim, they stopped finding fun in this. I don't know if they have found someone else to turn their bullying to or not, but one of the worst bullyers has even made attempts at becoming "friends" with my daughter. My daughter is not interested in becoming "buddies" but she is open to being civil to one another. I am really proud of her. I would add that if this bullying is serious and threats have been made, I would without hesitation, call the authorities or go straight to the resource officer in the school. Most schools have a resource officer of their own. I felt that the principal was just not listening to how serious these bullying situations become. I hope your daughter knows that it's nothing she's done. These girls begin bullying because they are jealous of your daughter for some reason. They are envious of something your daughter has, perhaps it's a personality or perhaps she is very beautiful, who knows why they bully, but it's becoming an epidemic and it's time we stood up to these girls. I hope the best for you.