Dating Help

Hehe!
Here is my advise sister! :) I have heard some great stories from online dating but also bad! Call me I dont want to type and i will fill you in! My mom married someone she met online and so is a friend of mine! :)

B. W <><

I met my husband from a dating service and my brother met his wife from an online dating service. I didn't try the ones online, but I will say the ones you go to you DONT need to pay. They tried to get so much money out of me and I wasn't going to pay to date someone...not that much anyways! So when they saw I was going to walk out and thought it was crazy to pay, they said I could have so many trials and then its like they never stopped. I met more guys whom I had no interests more than ones I did. But I did meet my husband and I am ever thankful.

I met my husband on eharmony. I always advise people not to do it until they are REALLY ready to meet someone...because it WORKS :-)

1st make sure you are totally healed from your first marriage -- any baggage you carried into and out of that one is still with you and will go into the next one. You can visit other activities at other churches -- go to other during the week Bible studies and classes and weekend activities and mission trips at other churches and see what happens - and get some good discipleship classes in additioN!

I met my husband on-line 10 years ago. We have been married 7 years & have two children.

Always listen to your heart. During the first couple of dates go together with a group of friends. My husband & I met each other's families right away also. I guess we just knew we were meant to be together. I really liked on-line dating because it wasn't as popular when we first met (like it is now). We got to know each other through emails & phone calls before we met in person. Don't rush things & if you question anything then it's not meant to be. You will know in your heart when the right man crosses your path.
Happy Dating!

I am about the same situation that you are. Argh. No fun. I was only married a few months. We dated for 7 months before we moved in, Yes I know too fast. A month later he proposed and we were engaged for over a year and a half. We married at the end of Sept 2004 and Nov 1st he was already wanted to separate. He couldn't handle being a fulltime husband and father. He left when I was on bedrest at 14 wks. Our divorce was final on April 2006. I am now starting a new chapter in my life and feel that I am ready to start dating again. I don't want to meet him at a bar cause that is mainly a meat market.
I go to church but I am new to my church and pretty shy at these things. All my friends are either married, seeing someone. I am the only one that is a single parent of a toddler and doesn't have anyone.

Good Luck.
M.

Try eHarmony.com, they seem very thorough at what they do.

L., HI! We seem to have a lot in common i was married for like 16 years Now divore and i also have a In home daycare.. And i dont date either. B/C Working out of your house limits you to meet anyone. So.. I would take it slow... Do you have a myspace? Join a dateing service. but more important take some time for yourself! let me know if you ever need a ear! im here. take care

T.

A friend of mine used one but I'll have to find out which one. It had a pretty high membership fee, which was good because it attracted professionals and helps deter the "riff raff". She met a really nice guy who she ended up marrying. He travels a lot on business and just did not have time for meeting women so it was a perfect solution for them both. Just check out the credentials of the service first and find out what their policies are for screening the members.

Good luck!

M.
"My son eats all his veggies now. Even the green ones"
www.M..NetworkMarketingCentral.com

I met my husband on Match.com. After I was on match for about three months he "winked " at me and then we started e-mailing each other. Now we are married and have a little boy. All I can tell you is to be honest and hopefully everything will work out. However, I met him in public places while we were getting to know each other. Just use common sense and do not give out any personal information until you are ready.
Happy dating!

H.

I have used several Internet dating services, and had a great experience. I was married for 15 years, but things had been "over" for so long that I was ready to jump back in almost immediately. I had a great time right after my divorce, meeting new people and just going out and having fun for the first time in a long time. I haven't met the "love of my life" online, but have made several good friends who I still keep in touch with.

Keys for me: BE CAREFUL, and use good sense (I made one near-mistake early on, and it scared me enough to make sure that I follow all the safety rules!). Keep expectations on the low side -- don't go on a date thinking "maybe he's 'the one,'" but just look at each date as a learning experience and the chance to get to know a new person. Even my couple of "icky" dates ended up being OK with that attitude -- after all, no matter how "not right" for me someone was, he was still a person, just looking for the same things I am. It saved a lot of disappointment when I didn't think of the time spent with someone as "wasted."

Maybe you should try eHarmony first. People pay more to get on there and have to take a personality quiz before they sign up, so it eliminates a lot of people who are just on there to mess around. They supposedly match you up based on personality, so you theoretically have a better chance of meeting someone compatible. And YOU control how long you want to write, etc. before you meet someone -- seems like the people on here are a bit more patient (on some of the others, a lot of guys want to meet right away). My brother is getting married in March to a woman he met on eHarmony, and they are really compatible and very happy!

If you're tenative, you might want to stay away from the "big ones" (Match, Yahoopersonals) at first -- whenever there is a new woman on there, she gets a TON of messages, and it can be overwhelming at first.

The bar thing is pathetic. Good for you for not even bothering :)

Best of luck!!!

L.

L.,

I am a single mom by choice. I have an 11 month old wonderful son but I have yet to figure out how to even consider dating..hope that will change as he gets older. I have two friends that use Plenty of Fish...it's free so you have nothing to lose. They both have met someone and seem to like it. Never hurts to at least check it out. Good luck & be careful.

Hi L.-

Internet dating - Ugh! So much "Yuck" to muck through - at least that has been my experience. An easier...softer approach to on-line meeting people (I have found) is visiting a site called meetup.com. There you find different groups with simular interests to your own - these groups get together at various times for different events - all in a group setting. Worst case - you make new friends. Good luck.

Yes! I had the best experience with yahoo personals. I had so much fun with it. It was great to be selective since you don't meet until you want to and you can find out a lot about the person before things get stricky.

I am engaged now to my soul mate. Found him on Yahoo!

my e-mail is ____@____.com if you want more info

My husband and I met through eHarmony. I liked it because they matched you based on personality, beliefs, compatability, etc. You did not go online and "shop" for guys like a lot of other sites. I have several other friends who met and married on eHarmony. We are about to celebrate our 5th anniversary.

This may sound funny (because of the Saturday Night Live skit they do) but I met my husband of 7 years at Great Expectations. It costs to join but it's cheaper for women than it is for men. You have to visit a location and they check ID and do a background check before they let you sign up, just to make sure you aren't married or a dangerous criminal. This makes it much safer than online dating where people sometimes pretend to be someone they aren't. You can even do a makeup session with them and afterwards make a video for people to see where you choose 5 questions to answer, and you can view other people's video before you choose them. Look into it, it was worth it for me!

Ms L.,

I have a recently divorced friend in the same boat. She is a single mother of two boys, 6 & 4 and also is dipping her toes in the dating pool. She is currently taking a single's course at her church and they are following a book by a Dr Henry Cloud called, How to get a date worth keeping. This is a Christian based book and author and she says she loves it. Good Luck and happy reading.

:) N.

I met my husband through EHarmony. I was a single mom for a while and my co-workers really pressured me into going to EHarmony. It was the day after Valentines one year that I finally said, "Ok, let's do it!" I talked to 4 guys on the phone for a while and I went on one time dates with 2, they where cute, nice, smart, but there was no chemistry. Then on my 3rd date, I met my now husband. We did not hit if off right away, but we kept talking on the phone. We found out a lot about each other, we had more in common than what we thought. We became friends, then eventually we officially started dating and now we are married, HAPPILY married, he is my best friend and the good thing about it is that we have the same views as far as family, financial and spiritual matters go, and it's hard to fight or argue with someone that sees things the same way you do, so we pretty much get along just fine, so I believe EHarmony got it right and I would suggest it to anyone.

I met my own husband on line - after so many years of single parent hood. It was hard to jump in at first, and I was very cautious too. But I knew I didn't want to go to bars or - no offense - crawl the singles group at church.

The first two months on line - I really just read profiles alot. You get a lot of weirdos who send you notes wanting to be your friend - so you have to weed those out. I can not stress the most important things - Always meet in a public place that YOU are comfortable at, and DO NOT introduce any of them to your child until you are 100% ready. Don't be afraid to google on the guy to check his background - you can even pay a small fee at www.publicdata.com to do background checks.

When I met my husband, I was amazed he wasn't already taken. He is truly a solid guy in all areas - so I was very lucky. I am sure that you too will find someone, just be patient.

I have been a single mom for almost 8 years and I feel your pain. I have tried some online dating sites and in all honesty I feel like if you are joining them to find the man of your dreams it's a waste of money. What I did gain from it was more confidence and it helped me to be able to be more open to relationships in the real world. I feel like it was more of a tool to help me move on and be ready for a real relationship than a place to really meet someone. I did go on a few dates with people that I met through the site and they weren't bad, they were good guys there just wasn't a romantic link outside of cyberspace.
I have one friend who found his wife through an online service and they have been very happy for several years.
I do however spend time with a singles group in the DFW area and that has been much more effective for me. I have met a lot of really nice guys in an informal setting and made a lot of really great girlfriends. If you would like to email me I can give you information about the group that I hang out with. My email is ____@____.com.
I hope that this info helps a little.

i read some of the responses that you received....whatever you do, do not waste your money on any dating service that was mentioned where you have to go into their office to sign up. i don't want to mention the name because i would hate for them to sue me for bad mouthing them or anything... It is an absolute ripoff. It costs thousands of dollars (up front and no refunds) they claim only professional, financially stable people sign up, but that is not true with them all. and even though they say back ground check, i met a guy that had divorced on his profile, that they supposedly check out, and he was still married. they show you pictures of all these good looking guys and when you sign up, all those guys are "inactive" which means they aren't available for whatever reason...could be that their membership is long expired and they are 10 years older than even the picture they are showing you. i signed up at a very low point in my life...just think of all the other people that do that too, and how desperate they (we) are to pay 5,000 to 8,000.00 to find someone... trust me, it's not worth it, even though they feed you line after line to suck you in to signing up. like how much is it worth to meet the man of your dreams, and that you can't afford not to sign up with a service that offers back ground checks if you have children. you can do your own background check on people and never have to spend that kind of money.
but whatever you do, be careful, there are some real wackos out there. good luck.

I have a friend who is getting married in October and she met her fiance through eharmony.com so I know that website has a good screening process but I'm not sure about any others. Just trust in God and know that he will bring you somebody when the time is right.

God Bless!
Alecia

I met my husband on Match.com and have two close friends who met their spouses there too. In my circle of friends, I'd say that about five or six of us used an Internet dating service and four of us married someone we met there.

Just like in regular dating, you have to be prudent. Meet someone for lunch in a public place first before you go on a real date. If your gut tells you to be wary, be wary.

Good luck!

I met my husband on Match.com and we have been together now for a little over 4 years, and are as happy as can be. I always tell him I had to go through a lot of duds online to get to my stud, but it was worth the search. =)

My only suggestion is to be careful, do not give people any personal information, meet in public places, etc. I would also recommend meeting for the first time at a coffee bar or for drinks. This does not obligate you to have dinner with them, because you may meet and he is not what you are looking for. In that case you are only having a quick coffee and do not have to sit through dinner.

I love Match.com, it was fun meeting people online but sometimes a bit scary. Do not be embarrassed so many people do it. Good luck!!

Hi. I am newly divorced with a 2yr old son. My friends recommended internet dating, so I recently gave it a try. I have had a lot of fun with it. I recommend match.com for the sheer volume of men and the criteria you can list. For best results, post a picture. I signed up without one first and hardly received any hits. After I added a picture, I had new emails/winks every day. That helps bolster your confidence, too! I just met a wonderful man on this site. I don't know if I'm officially off the "market" yet, but very hopeful. I just refused to meet them at my apartment--always meet them at a public place and let a friend know where that will be. I didn't disclose much information about my son (even the fact that he was a boy--only that I had a child that would have to be a factor). I just didn't want to pique the interest of any weirdos. Good Luck! (oh, you can even screen by religion)

I've never used a dating service but I have an idea of where to meet nice single, educated men. Before I met my hubby I would go to Borders or Barnes and Noble bookstores (both in Dallas and Mesquite) on Friday and Saturday nights. I was not really looking for fellas - just bored and wanted to sit in the cafe and read a magazine or book. Well it happens that there were often a lot of nice single men in their late 20's to mid 30's doing the same thing. We would often strike up a conversation etc. I dated a few nice fellas this way - usually meeting them at the bookstore cafe the next few weekends (to make sure they were not weirdos). Just an idea. As always be careful when meeting new guys -