Dad Filed to Modify;intention: NO Child Support

My ex is always hitting me up to do a 50/50 agreement but I refuse. I mentioned it to my divorce attorney and he said the minute you start doing 50/50 he can modify and stop paying child support. The support has no bearing on my decision not to do it, but I have been told that 50/50 agreements eliminate the need for support.

You don't say where you live, but in Tarrant County, when the parents share the children equally (week/week), there is a formula they use. They calculate how much child support you would pay (they use minimum wage for 40 hours if you don't work) and they calculate how much child support he would pay and they offset. So if he would pay $1000 and you would pay $200, they have him pay $800.

By the way, the courts will generally NOT order the week/week schedule for teenagers unless the parents agree to it. That schedule is way too hard for teenagers who have so MUCH STUFF to move back and forth from one house to another every weekend.

If you have other questions, you can e-mail me at ____@____.com . I practice family law in Tarrant County. www.kimbriel.com

D. Kimbriel
Grandma to 2 beautiful boys

COLLEGE EXPENSES:

The judge cannot force your ex to pay for anything after the kids graduate from high school or turn 18, whichever comes later.

My advice about handling the college expenses is to do everything possible to try to prevent it from becoming a power struggle. Your ex may fully intend to pay for college, but he may want to use it as a way to hurt you or extort from you by pretending that he won't.

Promise to pay certain specific expenses that are within your budget, so that you're shouldering at least a small piece of the responsibility in good faith. Don't agree to divide the total bill, or else you're still intertwined with your ex financially. (For example, one of you could pay tuition and housing while the other could pay for books and additional living expenses.)

My children have trust funds set up by my ex-husband's parents for the sole purpose of paying for college. Those trust funds each have more assets than I own. My ex is the trustee of those trust funds. He tried to get me to pay for half of college. He acted like he would refuse to authorize full payment of tuition and expenses from the trust accounts.

Mind you, he is a lawyer making an excellent income, and I make a pittance working part-time (so that I can take better care of the kids). My salary is literally about 8% of his. By mutual agreement, I didn't work from the time the kids were born until we separated, so I sacrificed the years that I could have been building a career. My second husband makes far less than my ex, but he shouldn't be the one to pay for college, anyway.

The way I handled it was to stay calm (using email rather than phone or face-to-face as much as possible) and laid it all on the line honestly. I told him my salary, and listed what I would pay. It included things like cell phone (on our family plan), son's car that I had bought earlier, medication that I would continue handling, food & housing in the summer, medical insurance (again, not that much when added to the family plan, but expensive if it was through my ex's small law firm), etc. The total was more than my pitiful income. How could I possibly pay more than 100% of my income? I appealed to my ex's sense of manhood by tactfully pointing out that having my son's stepfather pay for his college is detracting from his own father's act of being the FATHER.

My ex was nasty for awhile, but I stayed pleasant and unwavering, and after threatening that our son wouldn't be able to go to college (Huge pile of b.s....he'd NEVER let that happen!), my ex backed off and pays for it. I give him positive strokes about providing college for our son whenever an opportunity arises. Hopefully, we won't have the same battle when our daughter starts college in a couple of years.

I hope this helps. It's hard to be nice to a jerk, but with persistence (and your eyes wide open for sneaky tricks) it can eventually work.

Diane

Jill Setzer
Family Law Attorney
____@____.com, jillsetzer.com
###-###-####
Give her a call!

too bad this guy cannot give up his "expensive habits" and focus on his children. in the state of texas, i believe, he HAS to pay a certain amount of child support along with health/dental insurance should he have either. hope this guy is nuetered ....

I don't mean to be harsh, but what is best for your children is for you and their dad to be partners in parenting them, regardless of your personal issues. I know that is hard sometimes, believe me, but ultimately, what is best is for you to both come to an agreement and work together to do whatever you decide. The children NEVER win when either of their parents are too busy trying to figure out a way to "win" or even not "lose". Your children are almost grown, so surely you can figure out a way to work together for a few more years and eliminate a disfunctional world for them; it will pay off for you and them both far into the future. Even as adults, it is horrible to have to create alternative plans because mom and dad can't get along. It's a terrible thing to put on them.

Good luck.

I would think if you are sharing cutsody you are surely sharing expenses, but I know that is sometimes not the case. I can't imagine a judge not making him pay for the insurance for the children as well as half of all medical bills. As for the other daily expenses of utilities and things such as clothing and lunch money, those should or I would assume, are shared because of the weekly arrangement.
I don't know from personal experience, but I did have a boyfriend several years back (7 years just to give you a time frame) that had what sounds like your arrangement and neither of them paid support because they shared equal amounts of time with the child throughout the year, but he was required to carry the child on his medical insurance and they did split all medical costs. Child support is designed to cover the daily costs of the child, but if equal amounts of time are spent at each household I would think that would cancel either party from owing the other.

C. S. I have felt your pain myself, that is why I now have protection with pre-paid legal services. Unlimited consultation and protection from legal situations that we as single moms can afford. Visit my website for info: www.prepaidlegal.com/hub/welshjm or e-mail me at ____@____.com
Best to you in whatever you decide.
J.

I am so sorry to hear that you are facing this with your former husband. I don't see how he feels justified in not helping you with his kids. I don't see how any judge in the state of Texas will grant his request. You can and should hire an attorney and request that he pay the fees since he is the one taking this matter to court.I would also request an increase in support. The economy has affected you too. A judge will laugh him out of court.
I had a former husband that tried not to pay, my children are grown and living on their own...he is still paying support.
Good luck!

Not going to comment on the first part, only b/c I have no idea how TX will deal with that situation. However, I can tell you that in TX, NEITHER parent is REQUIRED to help out with college expenses. It's a choice, not a requirement. I know lots of married couples who don't help their child with college expenses. It's not an automatic right.

My husband isn't required to put aside money for his daugther's college nor is he required to help her when the time comes. He fully intends to help her, but knew better than to have it written into his divorce decree. She's a great student and he has no problem helping, but at the same time, what if she ends up being a huge party animal and he's forced to fund that behavior based on his divorce decree... not smart at all...

All of that being said, if your sons are good students and the only reason he won't help out is to spite you... well... karma will come back and bite him in the end. But the TX family court system won't. ;)

Sorry to say this but in today’s world we can say it. He is selfish. No court will do that, they may cut his support but they are not going to take the support completely away. They will want to look at your income and his and decide weather or not to even do anything to it. He does have a right to ask for a change. But as long as the children are under 18, someone will be paying support for the kids even if it is shared custody. Laws have changed some what but this I do know they will not take full child support away from the children. If he goes to court and they see how much he has and see he can afford it they will laugh him out of the court room. Check out the two links I posted to see if they can give you some light on the subject. If you can't afford a lawyer and you don’t make a lot of money you can probably go to the North Texas Legal Aide for help obtaining a lawyer it is based on your income.

http://www.raggiolaw.com/txart02.html#2

http://www.oag.state.tx.us/cs/

Good Luck,

T.

Hi C.,
I strongly suggest you get an attorney and here is why....about 3-4 years ago my ex-husband filed the same against me. Modify the current child support payment. When I went into court which is really a room full of people and the Judge calls you up to hear both sides of the story....well the judge looked at my ex's taxes and since he is self-employeed he knows how to hide his money...showed the judge that he makes no money etc...the judge made a snap decision and dropped child support $300 from $700 a month to $400 a month...I never got an opportunity to present my case, I wasn't given the opportunity to speak, nothing...when I went to ask the judge a questions he said and I quote "You can appeal" and we were done...I sat in that room for 3 hours before our case came up...am I bitter ...yes because my ex also has money...he bought a house, new cars, new toys for the new house etc....so please I know you don't want to spend the money on an attorney however you must to keep what you have and deserve.
PS my ex is now sueing me because he thinks I haven't held up my part of the divorce decree....he is an ugly individual so protect yourself and your children..
Good Luck
K.

If it were me and we were sharing the same amount of time with kids then I would agree to no child support if he is willing to split the cost of dental/ health insurance and be responsible for purchasing either the childs clothes or drivers insurance (considering your kids are old enough for that). As far as college goes- I don't believe parents are required to pay for that- it'd be nice of course, but I made it through on scholarships, grants, and loans and your kids can do that too if they want to go to college.

Sorry you are going through this... economy is a dumb excuse considering we are ALL affected by that, not just him- and the kids still have to have things to live whatever the economy is.

So how much child support do send him? If he has the kids the same amount of time you do, doesn't he need the same support from you that you are expecting from him?

If he is filing agaist you then you can request he pay for your attorney fees. When his attorney contacts you with the information you can contact him and advise him you do not have an attorney and are going to seek attorney fees if you must retain one. Most couples with shared visitation do not pay cild support so you have been lucky so far. I would tell them you will agree to no support if they add in the papers the father will do college they have a special way of wording this. His attorney may advise him to go for this. Most judges would put this in any way for child support and he would look bad to a judge saying I do not want to support my child anymore or help with his future.

C., I do not have direct experience with this, but my brother filed that same motion about 8 years ago, and because he would be paying for half of my nephews up keep and he would have him two out of the 4 weeks in the month, they cancelled the child support. It might not happen that way for you, but just in case(my advice to you Is) just be prepared.

Good morning,
I am new to Texas, just moved here from California but I am a certified paralegal (went thru the program at UCLA), worked in family law for 18 months but most importantly I have an X husband who sounds a lot like yours, self-absorbed! I've been divorced for 9 years (I am the petitioner!) and my X seems to think I'm money hungry and spend my child support on myself. Yea right!

In CA the courts use a program called the Dissomaster (sp?) where all information is submitted such as custodial time of each parent and the salaries of each parent which determines the amount of child support that is paid. If your X currently has more custodial time then what was originally stated in your divorce papers, your child support could be lowered. However, if each parent's custodial time has remained the same the amount of support cannot be lowered.

As far as him stating he is making less money, he will have to prove it as whenever you go to the Courts to modify either child support or spousal support, he/she will have to fill out a new Income and Expense Declaration and most times will have to submit paystubs with this document for verification.

What I don't understand is why a parent wants to hurt their own children due to their dislike of their former spouse. Weren't we good enough to marry and have children with in the first place?

I have several friends who are constantly battling with their X's over child support issues. It truly saddens me to see how fathers (and even some mothers) turn their backs on their children due to the anger/hatred towards the other parent. The only losers here are our precious children.

I moved to Texas for several reasons but the main one is due to the high cost of living in CA. I simply could no longer do it. My X moved to an extremely affluent neighborhood and I agreed to let him enroll our children in the school district in his new neighborhood as it is a better district. And, after 6 years of commuting at least an hour in the morning and 1.5 to 2 hours in the evenings back to my residence, my boys asked me to sell the house and move closer to their schools. I've been struggling with the high cost of rent since then and had no quality of life because I was constantly worried about money.

My oldest son will be 18 in August and I will lose 1/2 of my support. But what really gets me is that as of March 2009, he (X) wants to give $600 directly to my older son instead of paying it to me. My older son has not lived with his father for the past 3 years and I never took him back to Court to modify my child support from 1/2 time to full time. Do you think he has ever said "thank you" to me? Of course not!!!

My X, like yours, makes tons of money. Well, actually he quit working (he was a CFO in the Entertainment Industry and made over $150k a year) when he remarried. Lucky him, he married a Dermotologist so not only are they rolling in the dough, he gets free Botox!!! hahahahahaha!

But I told my X this, "You may live in a multi-million dollar house, take fabulous vacations all over the world and stay in 5* hotels, and get free Botox injections. However, none of these things matter as the only thing that matters is the amount of love a person has in their heart!" He stopped getting Botox for about 6 months but last time I saw him I noticed his facial muscles did not move as he spoke! hahahahahaha!!!

Good luck to you,
C.