Custody,child Support Etc.

Unfortunately, if visitation was granted by court order when paternity was established, you will have no choice but to let them see your children. I would try to talk to legal aid to see if you can get supervised visitation for them. What are their paternal grandparents like? Would you be more comfortable having the children stay with them and have their dad visit there? I know this is very hard, and you want to protect your children. Do you fear for your children's safety in their care during visits? Is it substantiated? If they are drinkers or do drugs, are abusers, etc. Call your local legal aid. They can find an attorney that will voluntarily help you for no fee or a drastically reduced fee. God Bless you, and just be the best mommy you can be for those children...

Hi D.,

You do not have a right to keep your children from their fathers, but you do have a responsibility to keep them safe. If this means supervised visits in your home, at a neutral location, etc. until relationships are established between child and father, and trust is established between parents, then you do whatever you have to do to facilitate that. It doesn't sound like the fathers in this case are responsible, and usually people never grow up, so I highly doubt that either one of them will keep up a consistent relationship with their child, but I understand that the threat is present, and you are a good mom for heeding this. If you have a court order, this complicates things, because as you know, you are bound by the order, and if you go against it, then you are putting everyone at risk. Tough choices...I would talk to a lawyer, even if you can't afford to pay for one, sometimes you can find a family law specialist and have a free consultation, and a lot of times they can point you in the right direction for resources for single moms like yourself. My heart breaks for you.

K.

get supervised visitation. if they are serious about visitation they will take what they can get and they may redissapear again. this way the child is safe your not denying visitation and their relationship with their child is on them. over time when they prove worthy you can drop the supervised part.

Are you saying that the fathers are into drugs? If so, that could prove them unfit. You need to talk to a lawyer about setting custody, visitation, and child support. If the fathers have not been paying they will owe you back pay. If the fathers want visitation and are paying their support, you really have not way to prevent it if they take you to court. The law says parents have a right to be a part of the lives of their children unless they are unfit or a danger. If they are not taking you to court and just want to stop by or take the kids, you have every right to say no. My friend just had the father of her oldest contact her (she was 15 when she had the child). He wanted to see her. She told him that she would not allow him to pop in and out of the girls life and cause her pain, so he had to prove his commitment. She said that if he sent $$ every month (whatever he could afford) to help take care of her and show his dedication to being a father again, than she would allow visits. He sent money 1 month and than disappeared again.

Dani,
You don't say why this is an issue all of the sudden, is it because you've gotten or requested some sort of assistance? You shouldn't even worry about Custody issues, in most states, unless mom has been proven unfit, she gets sole custody, (if you had been married it's possible to share custody) I don't think you have anything to worry about. As far as visitation, if the father(s) are insisting, have visitation at your home or a public place. Or include a 3rd person to be there ,( sometimes courts will order this). Listen to your children and pay attention to what's going on around them in thier father's presence. If you feel he is putting them in a dangerous situation ,speak to the judge ordering visitation or contact a lawyer/legal aid.
Just a little tip, most judges feel just because a parent is paying child support, does not entitle that parent to visitation.
I would also have a long chat with the father(s) about the damage they can do to these children if it's only going to be a temporary thing or they're seeking visitation for the wrong reasons.
Best of Luck to you, C. s.

Do they both have criminal records related to the drugs & alcohol? If so, I would definitely talk to a lawyer about their rights.

Either way, I wouldn't leave the kids alone with them. I would require supervised visits. That way you can be with them while letting them get to know each other, but also know that they are safe.

Request supervised visitation. At least until your more confortable. And also insist that it be supervised by someone who is not a family member. It will help. And good for you standing up for your children.