Custody/vistation Issues

Updated on January 09, 2007
P.P. asks from Chesapeake, VA
5 answers

My 7 year old stepduaghter has lived with my husband and I for the last 1 1/2 years (her mom signed over custody to us). She has now decided we should share custody and move our daughter back and forth every 6 months which would include her changing schools in the middle every year because her mom lives in Maine and we are in Virginia. I would love to hear from others that share children with parents in seperate states on what is typical. My husband and I aren't sure what a judges opinion would be a having a child split like this with school and every thing but her mom is open to other arrangements if we can all agree.

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L.B.

answers from Norfolk on

Your husband's ex sounds highly insensitive towards her daughter's well being and she is extremely self-centered and selfish to expect a 7 year old (or any child of any age in school) to bounce back and forth in the middle of a school year. GET A GOOD ATTORNEY. Then, once you APPEAL her "wants", your attorney should suggest having an educator's AND a child psychologist's opinion for the court and how detrimental this would be for your step-daughter. And detrimental it would. children need consistency. Especailly in school. No child of any age would want to leave their circle of friends, teachers who know thier learning style personally, and their familiar school surroundings to go to a new school for a few months and have to ADJUST all over again. no. I am sure that a good attorney would reccomend that your daughter stay with you during the school year and spend summers with her mother. Also, if the mother would be willing to fly to Virginia and fly back to Maine with the child (and here again, I would put up a fight as to having the child fly alone)for Spring Break, you may want to consider somethiong like that. Also, welcome the mother to come (in a hotel of course)to see the child at Christmas. But I would definately fight the changing schools in the middle of the year. That is too traumatizing for a child of any age. Good luck to you all. And you may find that once you start a legal fight with this, she may back down. good luck.
L.

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C.M.

answers from Norfolk on

In Virginia they don't usually do that, they will arrange for the non custodian parent to have the child during school breaks. They will not usually disrupt the school for the child because it's not in their best interest.

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N.I.

answers from Melbourne on

How about you guys talk about something like the weekends your husbands x wife has the girl and every holidays or ever other haildays. I knwo from being a military child that moving in the middle of a school year can realy mess up a child school life. I am not in the same shoes as you all are in but mine my husband is trying to get his daughter for the summer time. Just talk and let the x-wife now that you are worried about the schooling for the girl and talk abotu something else besides every 6 months. I hope I could help out in any way. Good luck and take care

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V.D.

answers from Norfolk on

I have a step-daughter who lives with her mom in South Carolina and we live in Va.Beach. What we do is every long break that she gets from school, she comes up here to stay with us. Hope this somewhat helps.

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C.B.

answers from Norfolk on

Hello P.,
I was kinda in the same predictament as you. My oldest daughter's father lives in California. I have full legal and custody rights and he has only visitation rights. During the fight of our divorce her father was also trying to get 6 month visitation rights. But, the judge said no way due to her being in school that he would never make a child leave school to start in another state just to satisfy his needs. I don't know of any judge that would okay that!! Also, she signed over her rights so what now she thinks she can have her now. She should have thought that in the get go! My daughter father has visitaion for 1 month during the summer and if possible during some school breaks. It is more difficult for us because he live on the other coast. I would try to agree with her for a month out of the summer and every other year during Christmas break and what if she takes some time to come here and visit. Maybe even for a long weekend?? Well, I wish you the best, I know exactly where your coming from.

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