Custody Questions - Hutchinson,KS

Depending on the laws of your state, you may be able to gain full custody under abandonment statutes. In general, you would have to demonstrate that he has made no contact or effort to support the child. You'll also have to make a reasonable effort to contact him--either directly or through public notice.

It is impossible to know how much it will all cost. Your best bet is to write up a clear and concise document about your relationship, how it ended, and as much information about him as possible. Schedule a couple of consultations with attorneys and find one that you feel comfortable with.

Be open to the fact that if he becomes aware of what you are doing, he can certainly contest it and gain visitation.

While you are eager to seek to terminate his parental rights, what about your daughter's rights? She won't always be 15 months. No on knows what the future holds and while right now at this moment in time money or her father's presence isn't an issue for you but it may be an issue for her. Whether you like it or not, every person has it built into them to want to know where they came from. It helps them know, associate and identify their own existence. If he doesn't desire a relationship with her at this time, that may not equal him not wanting one in the future. Some men are just leary of babies and little children for whatever the reason, doesn't make it right but it is just what it is. If you can locate him, you should inquire to see if he wants to terminate his rights and consider what impact that will have on your daughter's self esteem and what steps will you take to sure up her esteem remembering the first man a daughter falls in love with is her father. Does she have positive male role models interacting with her in her life right now? It does make a positive difference. This decision isn't just about what you want but is should be about what is in her best interest not just for this short period of time but even for her future. I'm not making judgements, I just know from experience the ripple effects of not having a father and him making that choice verses my mother making that choice for me and him.

I would definitely contact a lawyer. I don't believe you will be able to terminate his rights, or get full custody without notifying him of your attempt to do so. Even if you get full custody, this would not necessarily mean that he wouldn't be able to have visitation at some point if that is what he wants. You would need to petition the court to terminate his parental rights. If he decides that he wants to assert his parental rights, you will likely not be able to stop that unless you can prove that she would be in imminent danger while in his care. If he truly has no interest in parenting this child and he understands that if he fights your petition to terminate it will meant that he will at the very least be required by law to pay not only child support going forward, but could also be on the hook for child support owed for the last 15 months, he may decide to sign away his rights. Either way, I think it is in all of your best interest to get a legal and binding custody arrangement.

That said, you should think long and hard about what your motives are for wanting to cut your daughter's father out of her life completely. Even if things are going well and you are perfectly capable of taking care of your daughter without any help financially, it helps to have a little extra both financially as well as help physically. Bottom line is, you didn't create that little life alone and the other person has a duty and a responsibility to provide at the very least financially to the care of that child. However, t would be so beneficial for your child to have a relationship with her father if at all possible, if it is a positive and safe situation.

It sounds like he isn't too interested in being her Dad or supporting her. So, if you can get help from Legal Aid, they should be able to file papers demanding that he either pay back child support or sign away his parental rights. It really depends on the facts. If you don't think he will pay up, he will probably be willing to do it. It sounds like you weren't married and therefore didn't get divorced where this issue would have come up. However, it is important for you to take care of it. If you are receiving welfare, they will go after him for support. Usually, without some leverage, he won't do anything voluntarily that would make you happy. I will pray that it all works out for you.

You can ask him if he will sign over his parental rights to you and then you will have full custody without a legal battle and the entailing expense. You need to contact your local family services office to get the paperwork filed. If he has little interest in visitation then it will be in his best interest to sign over his rights to negate future child support. And if it's really not about money then you won't have a problem doing so.

Every state is different. You can most likely get full custody but in doing so, you may well end up with him still having visitation rights (unless you are able to have his rights terminated for some reason). Why the name change? He will always be her biological father and, in the best interest of your daughter, you should probably allow then to see each other regardless of if you have full custody or not and regardless of his rights...it's about her, not him or you.

I suggest that even if money is not an issue, you file for child support and put it in a bank account for her (college is expensive and now is a great time to start saving), file for full custody, establish visitation that he can have (doesn't mean he will) and leave her last name alone.

A.
I don't understand why you want to terminate his rights? does this child not deserve to know her father ever? yes he is being childish, stupid, whatever..I think you should go for fully custoday for sure, but unless he is a really bad influence I think he should be able to see her when he finally comes around/ grows up..your daughter at least deserves that..