Custody Issue- - Grosse Ile,MI

Updated on March 12, 2012
J.A. asks from Grosse Ile, MI
6 answers

My BIL fathered a baby 3 years ago. He was not told this until the baby was 6 months old. At this time the mother said that there was some question of paternity but it wasn't the other person's after a DNA test so it must be my BIL's child. My BIL always wanted kids is a great uncle and althoguh we weren't thrilled at the circumstances we were all thrilled to have a new member of the family. Things went ok for about 6 months then the Mother stopped letting my BIL see his Son. My BIL went to see an attorney at this point and had his own DNA test. The test came back negative but the testing facilty said it may have been a bad test and offered to do another one. My BIL was heartbroken and left it up to the Mother. Fast forward 2 years and all the sudden Mother is contacting my BIL begging him to get another test-Yep you guessed it the baby is his. Things were good again for another 6 months but now all of the sudden Mother will not let BIL see his son. There is no other back story than what I have said here-my BIL has the legal process started and she is being served this week. Any insight in how these things usually go? I am sick with worry that we will lose our precious nephew again.

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.B.

answers from Boston on

If he is the biological father, those test results (if they meet the state's criteria for validity) will establish paternity. If they're judged not admissible, his lawyer will petition for a court-ordered test, the test will be done, the results will be admitted into court and he will be adjudicated paternity (meaning that legally, he will be recognized as the father). Assuming that all of that happens, part of the judgment of paternity includes and option to amend the birth certificate to include him, but that's just a formality.

Along with requesting a judgment for paternity, the attorney will petition the court for custody, visitation and child support. Custody will be granted based on the best interests of the child. In this case, where there has not been a steady relationship since birth, joint physical custody would be possible but not likely. He would likely be granted joint legal custody as well as visitation (which the parents will have to work out) and then that would inform the child support arrangement. Every state differs in default custody arrangements and child support guidelines, but that's generally how things go.

Once he has paternity established and a visitation schedule in place, if the mother denies him visitation, he can file a complaint for contempt and drag her back to court, where she will be ordered to comply with the order.

Best of luck to your BIL. It's a shame that he didn't re-test a couple of years ago but better late than never.

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

He needs to take that paternity test to the court and get visitation ordered. Not just for his own sake, but for his child. The mom sounds like a piece of work, but I'm glad he's going to court to see his son.

Also suggest he visit a site like deltabravo.com for dad advice.

2 moms found this helpful

C.C.

answers from San Francisco on

He needs to make sure he has a good lawyer on his side. Chances are good that with a mother like this, she will sue for back child support. Even though the paternity test originally showed the baby wasn't his, it doesn't matter. He will still owe the money. He needs a lawyer on his side to sue for immediate custody of the child (even if it's every other weekend or whatever your BIL would like) and iron out some kind of child support arrangement before the mother goes nuts and sues him for it. The courts tend to take a dim view of "delinquent" dads, even if it's not the dad's fault! We have a friend who just went through something similar, and a good lawyer is the only thing that saved him. Good luck to your family on this!

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.B.

answers from Atlanta on

If he truly is the father, then he needs a good attorney. There's no reason to believe he wouldn't be granted some sort of custody or visitation if he's the father. Having a binding, legal agreement is the key here!

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.B.

answers from St. Louis on

It's very positive for him that he is the one initiating it then. It will mean that he should get good visitation/custody arrangement as long as there is nothing super negative she can use against him. He just needs a good attorney to show that he wants to be in his life. When he gets a custody order, make sure he uses his visitation to it's fullest and that all possible changes to visitation, he requests IN WRITING (write an e-mail at LEAST). That way if he has to miss a day because of a meeting, he can show an attempt to re-arrange with the mother, even if she denies. Then the "he never uses his visitation" can't be used against him. He can also file contempt of court if she refuses visitation or regular contact. My court order also requires that the other parent be allowed to make phone calls to the kids up to a certain time each day of the week.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

The court will probably require a DNA test. Once that confirms he's the father, then the court will address the issues of child custody, visitation and support.

1 mom found this helpful
For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions