Custody Advice - Savannah,TN

Updated on February 12, 2008
R.H. asks from Savannah, TN
12 answers

well my cousin has decided to let me adopt her 2 children. long story...but i am so excited. the boy is 8 and the girl is 18 months. now i am no idiot when it comes to kids because i have always been the family babysitter. my mom had 10 kids and whenever my brothers and sisters needed a sitter they would always call me. so i know a thing or 2 but now that i am full time responsible i am kinda scared. does anyone have advice for me? like how often should they get their teeth checked and what about checkups and how do i teach them things like abcs and 123s and stuff like that? any advice you have i would appreciate

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So What Happened?

well so far we have let the teacher know what was going on. i have made doctor appointments and am working on dentist appointments. so far so good

More Answers

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K.K.

answers from Huntsville on

well dental checkups are usually every 6 months. the dr. office can help you out with the physical check up times.
i used clothehangers to help my kids learn to count. i would collect them on laundry day and they would hand them to me and we would count them. singing abc's is good .kids relate to music very easy.
all will fall into place for you. im sure your motherly instincts will kick in. never be afraid to ask questions about the well being of your kids.

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J.M.

answers from Houma on

You've taken on alot, hats off to you for stepping up to help the kids.

At this point they will both have a yearly check-up at the DR. and then be seen as needed for illness.

The dentist will be every six months for the oldest. The little one won't need to go yet, mine started at 3 years.

I'm assuming the older is going to a public school. Be sure you touch base with his teacher through the transition so she knows what's going on, and she can let you know what's expected as the parent.

As for the little one, kids learn as they do, so you don't have to sit with her and do flashcards. If you sing your ABC song, she'll learn the alphabet, same goes with number songs. Count cheerios at snack. Read lots of books, see when your library has story time. Talk to her about what you're doing through the day. The toddlers years are about them exploring their enviornment.

Good Luck!

J.

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D.C.

answers from Birmingham on

First of all calm down. Once you start their Medical stuff youll get appointments they will tell you when. All you have to do is keep the appointments. The teaching will come naturally. As much as I can tell you care youll be great. Congrats and let us know how it goes.

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K.H.

answers from Little Rock on

One thing I did with all three of my children is READ, READ, READ and then READ some more. Books can teach them colors, counting, shapes, ABCs, animals, etc. AND the best thing is you can get them for free - at your local library.

Good luck and God Bless!

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P.K.

answers from Tulsa on

For the 8 yr. old, it would be really good to get him involved something with other kids to help him get connected. They need a constructive way to channel their energy. Check out programs in your community that may offer something for him. Maybe a project that the 2 of you can work on. Working on projects together helps kids to open up. You may check out parenting magazines for inspiration. family fun is a good one. Barnes and noble has a ton of them. Check out the library on parenting books. Mostly love and acceptance will really help them to have a solid foundation. For the little one. Kids learn a lot through music. They love to learn through songs. Get silly with them. God bless you.

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S.S.

answers from Mobile on

Congradulations to you :
and im also in the process of adoption the oldest boy is 3 and the youngsest is now 10 monthes so any advice that you recieve please pass it on to me i have 3 older children of my own the youngest 15 and my oldest is 20 so wow its tuff strating over but the babies were in desparte need of a good stable home i really wasnt intending on starting over but my heart took control so the best of luck to you and your new family.

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B.F.

answers from Birmingham on

Love them...
You'll figure the rest out together.

Oh, and teeth check is every 6 months.

Good luck, you are blessed!

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A.H.

answers from Montgomery on

Congratulations on your children. Adoption is the new pregnancy they say.

As far as dental and doctor visits, go ahead and take them now and then it'll probably on be once a year. The 18 months old will still need her shots, the doctors can give a paper detailing when they're needed. Don't forget vision check ups for the 8 year old. Our first eye check ups started at 3 years old.
About the learning, just make it fun, even a trip to Wal-Mart can be educational. ABC'S AND 123'S are great to sing when giving baths and getting ready for the day or bed.
As much experience as you have, you'll get the hang in no time.

Will be praying for you. I know you're probably an answer to their prayers.

A.

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E.G.

answers from Baton Rouge on

I would strongly suggest picking up the "What to expect..." books. They have one for toddlers and I believe they have one for older children as well.

As for as teaching, I depend on a pre-school system for that. I do work outside of the home, so I made sure that they daycare facility I registered my sons in offered a structured program.

I do know that your children do not have to attend full-time daycare to register for pre-school. They have many facilities in the area. Just pick up the phone book and make some calls.

Health care is extremely important. My boys go to the physician once a year for a general physical/check-up. They visit the dentist every 6 months for routine preventive visits (cleaning, etc.).

It's a full-time job, I have three boys and we are constantly on the go. Between school, homework, sports, etc. I really don't understand how I hold a full-time job away from home, but in the end it all gets done.

Most importantly (and I am still learning this) DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF"!!!!

Good Luck and Congratulations!

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K.S.

answers from Little Rock on

Don't expect to be Supermom and do everything right. Parenting, at best, is a constant learning experience. You WILL make mistakes, so just learn from them and don't beat yourself up.

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L.S.

answers from Biloxi on

I am 27 and a mother of three, so I know how it feels to be a young mother. First... hold your ground let them know that you deserve respect and that you are the authority. The 8 year old might want to be felt sorry for because of the situation. You don't have to feel sorry for them because they are loved by their mother (you) and the sooner you start your routine with them the better. It's not like babysitting, because you are responsible for the kind of person you want them to be..so with that said my sister-in-law told me the best advice Ii have ever given her when she adopted her daughter at age 7 was that you have to let the child know what they can and cannot have because other people will give them whatever they want to make them happy otherwise. Example... If you don't want your child to have candy before dinner, then you must tell them that they are not to eat any or their will be consequences. Do not expect other grownups to listen to your rules. Good luck with it all and keep us posted on the progress. God bless ciao

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J.D.

answers from Mobile on

That is wonderful that you have taken on such a responsibility. Make sure you have healthcare/dental for the kids. If you dont have it through your employer, you can get Alabama Allkids or medicaid. You get your teeth clean every 6 months and when you go for your first initial visit they will tell you when to come back and if they need any additional work. Get them to a dr and make sure their immunizations are up to date also. You can get age appropriate workbooks for the 8 yr old to practice at home and work with him/her and one on one time is good. My 9 yr old loves it for extra work. As far at the baby, age appropriate toys and vtech learning toys, books for you to read and you will fall right in to place and adjust well. Good luck to you!

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