Cursing

I would try ignoring him when he says it! Easier said then done, I know. The more you punish him and draw attention to it, the more he will do it. Good Luck!

C.
Mommy to Jessie (9), Katie (7) and Julia (2 ½)
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Please, one of your responses said bite him.... please dont do this. By drawing any attention to what he is saying you are encouraging it. You said the word, ok and he picked it up. so it would follow that if you just changed the word you say to for example "ohhh, noooo" he will pick up on it. Faster if you make it sound funny. Then if he is not hearing the word , he will soon forget it for the new improved word. Sounds silly I know but give it a try, whats it going to hurt right. If it works great mission accomplished. If not, bite him lol

I've never been especially careful with my language (neither has Dh) so our kids have heard us swear and luckily they have never imitated us (I think because they know we wouldn't find it shocking). At 3 1/2, he is old enough to be told what your household rules are, and that children are not permitted to say those words, that they're not nice but occasionally adults will say them. Let him know that if he says them, there will be a punishment because he is not allowed to use that language.

Good luck, a lot of parents go through this with their young kids!

I have 3 little girls and had the same problem my 3 year old loved saying S***. So i resorted to saying crazy silly things when i got upset instead of cursing. I had to change so that my children could change. So instead of cursing the world I "fudge ripple ice cream"-ed it or "sugar honey and ice tea is just so yummy good for me". Or the always old fashioned "dog gonnit". It took me some time but now i have no problem with them getting upset and having them scream "fudge ripple ice cream", it will make you laugh. The funniest thing that anyone hears me say is "holy christmas" I even have the habit of saying it when my kids aren't there.

I have a 3 1/2 year old son that I have done the same thing with. I ignored him everytime he would say something he is not supposed to say. I try and tell him those are things that should not be said, but he hears me say them. Very confusing for him. I finally sat him down and told him that there a certain words that are just for adults. He no longer swears and I no longer say anything in front of him. If he hears people on t.v. say anything he says "mommy they said an adult word". Adult words are not just swear words, they are also the common words like shut up, pissed off anyhing you would not want your child to repeat. We never say shut up in our house, the worse I have ever said along those lines was "shut it off". I hope this helps.

i am a stay at homer too, and i understand the frustrations that can come about. although cursing is not the best way to handle them, you have recognized the wrong. now what to do, well i myself had the same issues and found that washing the childs mouth out with soap always works nicely. give it a try and see if that helps.

Well I have to say (not judging you) that it's definitely your fault but just like you changed your bad habit you can change his. When he curses repeat his curse and then bite yourself and say bad word and do the same to him I did this to my 8 year old when she was 4 and it actually worked.

Well, the first thing that comes to mind has to do with not why you cursed or that it was a bad thing or not ... you already see the harm in it and would not ask for help if you didnt want to change. So, you mentioned in your "a little about me" that you are a stay at home mom... and I wonder if you have an outlet for yourself. Are you involved in church? .. and in regards to working .. if the money all went to daycare then sometimes we have to remember that at this age ... there is pre-school... and maybe you child can learn something change his/her environment .. and you would also.. I absolutely love mommy and me classes.. which may be more for the mommy sometimes.

Hi A.- know that you are not alone! I would recommend the book, "She's Gonna Blow!" by Julie Ann Barnhill- she deals with all sorts of things related to anger & getting a handle on it. You can probably get it at or through your local library.

A., don't feel bad I went through the same thing. I am still guilty of cursing around my son. He did it 1 time and I was so upset that I actually took a dab of hot sauce on my finger and placed it on his tongue--I know it sounds very mean but he never cursed again. I also told his therapist what I did because I thought it was cruel and she told me it was not cruel as long as I didn't keep doing it. Like I said it only happened once and he never did it again.
C.

You could try positive reinforcement. Reward no cursing--for example, every day that he only says nice words, give him a sticker or a lollipop or whatever he would consider a reward. After a week, let him have a bigger treat, like a toy. The other thing you could do is tell him that it was "cooler and more of a big boy thing" to say things like "oh fudge" or "oh sugar". If he hears it from you he will definitely want to copy it! Best of luck!

On another note, financial constraints and no "adult" time can be very difficult and trying for anyone. Perhaps there is something you could do from home for a few hours a week (e.g., telemarketing or sales) that would provide an outlet for you and some extra "fun" money. If you were able to do this in the afternoon, you could have a teen-babysitter for a few hours which is not too expensive, particularly if you are in the house so no emergencies will need to be dealt with by a babysitter.

Consider modeling other words for him to use and try and keep in mind that all though he is cursing at least he is verbalizing and expressing how he is feeling. If you draw more attention to it he may continue to curse so try an give him another word to use on the sly.

I had a similar problem with my 2 1/2 year old... he heard his Daddy say it and at first we ignored it and that didn't work so I told him it wasn't a nice word and he shouldn't say it, to which he responded "Daddy says it" so I said that Daddy shouldn't say it and it makes mommy very sad when you say it... and then we really changed the way we talked around him, we do not use that word anymore, and eventually he stopped. It did take a while though... I think he will eventually just get tired of it and forget about it when he stops hearing it and isn't getting any attention over it.
Don't beat yourself up... we've all been there.

The good news is that he is just immitating you behavior.
As soon as you stop coursing and losing your cool he will start too.
Start with sitting down and saying: Listen mommy made a mistake by coursing and losing her patient. For now on we will be nice.

*There is a really nice article about how it is actually OK for the mother make mistakes and how much your child can learn from it. It is either parents or parenting magazine. You can try to google it.
Good luck

You need to deal with your frustrations first. Repeating the word is the least of it. If you ignore it, and don't say it again, your child will forget all about it.
Staying home is hard, eventhough it is the best thing for your child (in my opinion).
I think your big problem at this point is helping your child cope with frustration. He/she is learning from you and maybe you both can find a better way...it isn't easy.
I wish you all the best.
You will do fine.

Hey, life happens. Try sitting down with him and explaining that you made a mistake. Now you're trying to fix it, and you need him to try too. If you think he's old enough (and maybe needs more motivation), try coming up with a consequence for swearing -- for both of you. Maybe you put money in a charity box and he loses tv time. Or ice cream. Or whatever. Maybe just talking and then reminders will do it.
good luck!
D.

Your son is looking for a reaction from you. The more of a big deal you make of it, the more he will say it. Instead try this approach. When you feel angry, try saying really silly words instead that will make your son laugh. He will get a kick out of it and will forget about using foul language.