Crying for Daddy

This is very hard. When my husband left, my two year old cried on and off all night. I was pregnant with our third child also. It really is heartbreaking - I totally get what you're going through.
The breakthrough with my two year old came when I learned to put his feelings into words for him. He was so angry, and he didn't even have words to express it. I said, "Do you feel like throwing things?" It changed his world! Finally he knew that someone understood how he felt.
You don't want to talk her out of her pain. She needs you to carry it for her, which means you enter it with her and be there as she processes, letting her know you hear and understand. You can start by saying simple things, like, "You miss Daddy, don't you? I know. It's hard, isn't it?" Resist the urge to figure out some good news to cheer her up. And always be honest.
You might also look for a good counselor. It's good, believe it or not, that she's expressing it. You just have to learn the skills of carrying her pain and helping her through it. Same for your older one.
My kids are doing really well now. You'll make it through this. You might find my blogs encouraging.
God bless you,
L.
http://latenightsandlatin.blogspot.com/
http://susannasapron.blogspot.com/

How is your pregnancy going? Are you both in good health?

I agree with Lisa.
Just try to help your child say what she is feeling. Having her call him I know was taking a chance, because he is always so unreliable. And gosh knows he is so immature and any suggestion from you turns into some sort of criticism in his mind, but if he could make a recording of his voice. Or a recording of him reading them a story, it really could help his children. help in these emotional situations. I also wonder if you could do the same for them, for when they are at dads? II know he would probably throw it away) but it sure could help.

I know it is hard wasting any time on him and you want to be done with him, but even if the kids knew all of the bad things about him, they would still love him, just as much as they love you. That is what kids do, they adore their parents no matter what.

I have said this before, I am a child of divorce and the worst thing each of you can do is speak poorly of the other parent in front of your children. Your children will never forget what the other parent says. Our parents are a reflection of us. If you tell a child there father is a loser, a child feels they are also a loser. If he tells them you are lazy and a liar, they will feel he is speaking of them.

As I got older, I knew the divorce was the best thing that could have happened for our family. My parents did not love or respect each other. They were just not meant to be together. I forgave that and understood that, but what I have never been able to get past, is how awful they behaved in front of us, Over and over again. It was so selfish on their parts and especially since I became a parent I knew they had really been immature and self centered about it. My sister is still suffering from it and she REALLY makes me angry because now she is even worse with her ex, than our parents were to each other I have begged her to get help, to get past all of it, but she loves using it as an excuse for her self centered behaviors.

I am sending you strength.

You are clearly in a bad situation, but I would be careful NOT to use children to be a "phone stalker", a two year old DOES NOT make five phone calls in a row. One call and leaving a message to let him know his child is upset and asking for him is enough. Letting the child hear his voice message over and over again seems kind of cruel.

As for the $105 phone bill, if you are raking up that much for texting, he might have done you a favor.

Your children's father doesn't sound like a catch, but you did make three babies with the guy, so you must have found some redeeming qualities about him over the last 8 years. I hope you don't call him names (i.e. "Jerkface" or worse) in the presence of your children. Like it or not, he's going to be a part of their lives for years to come and he'll probably bring another woman/wife into the picture as well if there's no possibility of a reconciliation.

I wish you a safe and healthy delivery of your third child. I wish both you and your man the courage and maturity to put your children first and not in the middle of your differences.

Blessings....

I think honesty will help because kids will know at least part of it. Didn't you say your ex is still with the person he cheated with? So the kids know something is strange. They just want simple clear answers about why things are happening - it doesn't have to be too detailed.

Have you considered going to counseling with your kids to help them cope with this transition?