Crying at the Thought of Another Pregnancy

Yes, if I thought I was pregnant while I still had a one year old to deal with, I think I would also want to crawl into a little ball and cry :(
I realize if you are pregnant, well then there's only so much you can do, but if you are NOT pregnant I would suggest not being so "careless" with the birth control until you are really ready to go for it!

I so understand. Hubby and I finally decided to start trying for 3. I cried when I discovered I wasn't pregnant, but then immediately decided to hold off till January to start trying again (we are going to Ireland in two weeks and I didn't want morning sickness, etc. with such a trip and two already under 4!)..... I have no desire to do another pregnancy, nor to do the first 6 months of no sleep hell. I am finally starting to have some time for myself, and it is so nice. I can't imagine not having another child; yet, I really have no desire to go through the motions required to have one!

It's a very weird place to be in.

When in doubt ... DON'T. some of the best advice my awesome dad ever gave me.

There's a reason you're having these feelings ... you're not ready for another baby (and may really never be).

Use your birth control correctly until the thought of another pregnancy and infant doesn't send you to tears.

You said why yourself -- the pregnancy part is very rough on you. Anyone that has difficult pregnancies can't be expected to be excited about that part of being a momma. Is adoption an option for you?

Jane,
First, I wanted to say that I am so sorry for your loss. I understand what you went through--I have been through it as well.
As for your question.....
You need to use your birth control correctly and every time until you and your husband are BOTH on the same page and wanting another child. There is something that is holding you back from wanting another and there isn't any reason why you should be putting yourself through this anguish each month when you can easily remedy it--- take your b/c and use a back up method until you are absolutely sure that you want another child and are ready physically, emotionally, financially etc. Also, have you considered postpartum meds for after having the baby? There are alternatives to the things you described above where you won't be so sick or overwhelmed.

1st trimester/2nd trimester--zofran, b6 tablets or other anti nausea meds
breastfeeding--do the best that you can and if you can't continue, its fine to use formula~
C-section--get help from family etc. to come and help you the first 2 weeks.
postpartum depression-- medication, therapy etc.

Just wanted to help put some things in perspective. Hope this helps.

M

I guess I would recommend using birth control until you can sort out your feelings about being pregnant again. It doesn't sound like you are being pressured into doing it again right away. I would think taking some time could be good, since your youngest is still so young.

I had a great pregnancy, mild nausea, natural delivery, enjoyable breastfeeding experience, and I still didn't want another.

Wait another year and then see how you are feeling. Maybe your feelings will change and you will start to look forward to it. Wait till that happens. I love love love babies too but I am totally happy with having only 2 kids. I just get to go crazy over other people's babies now :)

I put off having my third child because of the same reason. I have very horrible pregnancies, extreme nausea among other things. But, now that my baby just turned 4, we decided it is time to go through it again, so I'm 17 weeks pregnant now. All I can say, is have plenty of support and you will likely need some help with your toddler while you are sick. Maybe have her in a mother's day out program a few days a week so you can rest and have a break. Also, use your birth control always. Do not become lax using it when you get the baby urge. You need to both be ready, prepped and excited and your husband willing to support you when you are sick.

I understand completely what you are going through. Although my third was not planned I still wanted a third, but not really, but I so did!!! When I found out I was pregnant I cryed, vomited and lost weight through the entire pregnancy. In the end it was a c-section and I cryed through that. None of my pregnancies were perfect, all were miserable. But, in the end you get a baby! and that is worth every minute of the hell! My youngest is now 7 and the kids and I joke that we should have another one. If I decide to, I will adopt!! Nine months is such a short time for a life time blessing!

I miscarried my first baby at 12 weeks after suffering from severe hyper-emesis. that's why I miscarried because my doc didn't "do IV's." I almost had a panic attack thinking about starting all over again with all that severe morning sickness. But I had 5 more children and was bedridden and on home IV's and even hospitalized at one point. Although my last two weren't as severe (I wasn't bedridden at all but still threw up several times a day), I was still pretty sick! I also had to have C-Sections, which I hated! But it's all worth it in the grand scheme of things. Hang in there and take one day at a time. Think about the prize in the end!! Good luck and congratulations!!

I don't have an "answer" for you, but I wanted to tell you that you are not alone. I wanted a third child. When God decided it was time to bless us with that sweet baby # 3...I cried, and cried, and cried...for months I cried! SHE IS THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO US! She was the easiest pregnancy, easiest delivery and is the easiest going kid in the world!

Best wishes to you and your family!

Dont worrie I feel the same way...
All I did in Oct trow Nov. Was cry wen I knew I was pregnant, yet again so wen I took my test I knew the answer. And I love my.2 daugther's, but children are tough. I had a hard pregnancy with my last Angel, and this baby(pregnancy) is really killing me and im just 3months or so.

But I think sometimes were scared of the rest of of what a pregnancy brings and the pain we go throw.

:-) Be Strong.

Wow I completely understand!!!!! I have one daughter she just turned 8. I had the BEST pregnancy, was sooooo excited, had dreamed of being a mom from when I was a little girl Then BAM labor for 48 hrs, emergency c section, then 2 weeks after leaving the hospital I began throwing up constantly, I was so sick, crying non stop. Went to the dr. they told me I had PPD, to take meds and I would be fine. Well could not keep the meds down, long story short, my OB kept telling my husband I was doing it all to myself. Finally my mother took me to an ER where I was hospitilized with a major infection that had also gone to my kidney's. My daugher was then rushed to the hospital with a 104 temp and an infection, that I later found out was due to them leaving me in labor too long. Needless to say my happiness was broken, I spent the next month crying, always worrying that something else would happen ect... I want another baby more than anyone could ever know, and every month I chicken out and say no. My husband has given up asking, and honestly he went through so much dealing with me that I think he is scared too. My PC must be so tired of listening to me say oh I think I am going to do it this yr. Well I am 35, and still thinking I will do it. But like you every time it comes down to the actual thought of being prego I freak out!!! So good luck, and someone once told me, you will never regret having your baby, but you may regret not one day!!! I wish I could take my own advice!!!

I hated being pregnant both times, but even more so the second time when I had a 2.5 year old to chase around. And my pregnancies weren't even that bad! I just didn't like it. So the thought of another pregnancy is pretty undesirable for me. I also don't love the first year of motherhood - before the baby can communicate and they are just fussy, etc.

But, all that said, a part of me wants a third, too. So I totally understand where you are coming from. At 36, you still have time, so don't rush into anything. Don't be careless with your birth control and end up having a pregnancy you're not sure if you want. Wait until your baby is a little older and you've had a little more time to recover both mentally and physically from the pregnancy and first year of life. Then decide if you want to go through it again.

Becoming and being a mother are hard work. It takes great sacrifice on our parts. It is a true labor of love. Some women suffer more than others to bring life into the world. What an amazing gift! The cost is great. You are counting the cost of carrying and birthing a baby. But, as you know full well, the rewards far outweight the cost in the long run. You see the beautiful fruit of your labor. Focus on that, not on the short term difficulties.

As for your loss, I'm so sorry. I know the pain and sorrow that comes with losing children. But, it wasn't for nothing. Your child is an eternal soul. If you had not carried that baby, even for so short a time, he or she would never have existed. Your child does exist. Your child has a soul, which I believe is born with conception. It wasn't for nothing! You are a blessed mother of that child, just as much as you are of the ones in your home tonight. Blessings to you, Jane. I pray you will find peace about this.

You need a homeopath to help you stop throwing up and feeling sick. The right remedy makes pregnancy much easier Think of it as assembling a birth team. Get some household help. It'll make the whole process of keeping up with things easier.
Do you have a chiropractor? It helps to get adjustments throughout your pregnancy. Do you like the doctor you used before for your deliveries? If not start looking for one you do like.
Every pregnancy is different. Make up your mind that with a team of helpers you can have a good one.