Crushes in 3Rd Grade

Welcome to Pre-Teen!
Yes it is normal.
Just be open & honest with her.
And what ever you do do not let her know you were reading her diary.
Talk to her let her know it is ok to like boys but there are limits. Let her know your limits, and rules.
I have a 14 1/2 yr old daughter & 12 y/o son.
The son is way, way worse then his sister. The girls have been calling him for 3 or 4 years now.
Now they "HANG OUT" at the park. I let him know that there are things that are right & things that are wrong. We talked about the difference. SO far so good!
Goog lUck!

Seriously, and please don't take this the wrong way...but I'd be more worried about the fact that you found her diary and read it. I'm not saying parents shouldn't EVER read diaries, go through drawers, school bags, etc. But, unless you suspect something and are having issues with your daughter - I think it's fair to let her have some privacy. Like the other poster mentioned, please don't let her know you read her personal and private thoughts. That could really upset her and drive her from talking to you.

To answer your question...heck yea it's normal! I lived in Colorado for a short time when I was in 2nd grade and I had a crush on a set of twins (Sean and Chad!) By 3rd grade, I had a two "boyfriends" (not at the same time). I even kissed both of them. But, it was innocent curiosity. And, I didn't turn out to be "easy" or anything as I got older - far from it, actually.

At a young age, my mom explained the basics to us. We were always able to go to her for any questions, advice, etc. She never made us feel ashamed or judged. Talk to your daughter about boys. Be open with her. Let her feel comfortable to come to you. Having that type of relationship with my Mom did wonders for both my sister and I.

Good luck!

Very normal. My girls have been doing this since they were 8. Every year it seems to be a different boy since the kids in the class changed with the move to a new grade. And if I ask they will deny it. And of course the boy has no clue. I take it as very much similar to having a crush on the Jonas Bros or other Disney or TV teen.

Hi N.,

I consulted an "expert" for your question about whether nine year olds have crushes: My nine year old daughter!

Here is her response:

"It is perfectly normal. I think. I don't think the kids in my class have crushes on each other, but if they did I think it is fine. It might be a tiny bit abnormal if you are only in 3rd grade, maybe. But, if you are in 4th grade, in that case, I think that it is fine."

Donʻt worry. My mom wanted me to help answer this so hereʻs my advice:

" When I was in preschool, I had a crush on a boy. Yes, preschool. When I was in kindergarten, my bestfriend convincef me into dating her boyfriend, and we were cheating on him. Yes, kindergarten. My grade school years pretty much go like that the whole entire time. Iʻm in 5th grade now, 11, and perfectly normal. It's just a phase, don't worry about it, it'll be fine."

Don't make a big deal about this king of thing. But DO SET SOME LIMITS.

I had a girlfriend in the beginning of 2nd grade until the end of 5th grade. It lasted for 3 whole years. She was not in my class. But we hung out at lunch and recess. I even came to her house and she came to mine. She even told her mom she wanted to marry me. After the end of 5th grade she had to move to Ohio. I was very upset. I'm 22 and in college doing my PHD. I never had a girlfriend after that :(.

I had crushes myself starting in first grade...and I used to write my name with his in notebooks and diaries with hearts around it. It is just girl stuff. I remember having "boyfriends" all the way through grade school. It didn't mean anything though - it's not like we actually went anywhere or did anything together! I went to a Catholic school K-8 and even though I had crushes I was waaaaay too scared to ever act on them!

Unfortunately it is very normal. I am a third grade teacher and I just intercepted a note yesterday that said "want to have a baby together?" Ahhhh!! Kids are far more advanced then they should be. I had a crush when I was their age, but NEVER thought about "having a baby" with anyone! I think society is very different and the tv shows, music, and general societal acceptance of promiscuity has finally filtered down to the young. We do our best to educate the whole child...maybe we need to do more.

My older daughter had crushes all the way through school. She's now a normal happy 21-year-old. My younger daughter has no interest. She's also just a normal kid. I remember having crushes on boys when I was little, and having "boyfriends" as young as 3rd grade. I think it's totally normal. It will get more complicated as she gets older -- been there done that -- but keep the lines of communication open and you'll all probably be fine.