Crib/sleeping Debate-what to Do?

Try the trick where you slowly move the crib into the bedroom ... first near the bedroom door, then in the hall outside of the bedroom, next infront of her bedroom, after in her bedroom etc ... and see how that transition goes ... I think it is time to start separating if she sleeps in her crib well ... but none of that worked for me, we have been co sleepers from birth and he is 4. Oh well, you do what works for you, I simply suggest finding a compromise between you and what daddy wants he still needs to feel important, just as important as baby!

My son has been in his own room since he was 2 months old. He never slept in the bass. only in his carseat. At about 4 months old we started letting him sleep in his crib instead of his carseat. When he was still in the carseat we would put the carseat in the crib. I think it is time to move her or at least to try to move her.

Both of my kids have slept in their own cribs in their own bedrooms since day 1. So we're on very different pages there, but to each their own.

The one thing I would consider is what effect this has on your husband. Your post sounds like it's more about your comfort than anything else. (Do you still check on her several times a night because you're worried about her?)

At any rate, don't forget that he has a say, and how you handle "your bed space" has a direct effect on your relationship. So you may want to consider what's healthy for your marriage in addition to what's comfortable for you. I'm not suggesting that you're headed towards divorce if you don't listen to him. But I know a lot of people that are stuck with 4yr olds in their beds that never get to share any intimate time as a result.

Just food for thought.

My suggestion, put her in a crib, in her own room and ditch the monitor. Leave both your door and her door open. at 6 months, she no longer "needs" the night time feedings. in other words, she is big enough to grow on daytime feedings alone.

She's in her crib, without bedding, and on her back. Really, what's the worst that can happen. Without the monitor, if she's talking loudly, she'll occupy herself, and perhaps even go back to sleep. If you swoop in at every noise, you might actually be preventing her from learning how to comfort herself and go back to sleep. If she's got real needs, i.e. hungry, dirty, needs comforting, she'll let you know resoundingly.

More sleep for your husband, and possibly more sleep for you and your daughter would be a good thing.

try Dr. Ferber, it was really effective and empowering for us.

My first slept in our room until about that time and he co-slept with us quite a bit as well but around 6 months we started waking each other up and it wasn't working anymore so we moved him to his room.

I did research on baby sleep, read Dr. Sears Baby Sleep Book, The no-cry sleep solution and The baby whisperer to come up with a sleep game plan for my little man. Once I learned about baby sleep it was much easier to teach him about sleep. Once we did that he began sleeping 10-13 hours a night and he was exclusively breastfed as well. My daughter was never the sleeper her brother was but she did ok.

It's hard I know but you all may sleep better once you know how to help her sleep and she doesn't wake up and see you right there.

I don't think she's waking up more b/c she's in your room, but it could be a lot of things...
- teething
- growth spurt
- natural light (w/ the clock change)

I would suggest, though, that you transition her to her own room sooner rather than later. As children get older it gets harder to change their sleep habits. Don't think of it as "putting her in her own room", but think of it as giving her the chance to have "her own space" where she can play, sleep, talk, etc.

The longer you wait the harder it will be. She's still young enough to not really know the difference so do it now. You will get better sleep for it and you will adjust. Plus you want to teach your daughter to love her space and she can't do it if she's not in it. I remember moving both of mine in their rooms and showing them around saying "this is your room" and showing them all the aspects of the room. I want them to enjoy having their own space.

How far away is the room, our kids are right next to use we don't need a monitor (at least I don't my hubby could sleep through it) She is most likely waking up more from teething. You can't really disturb a sleeping baby if they are really tired. Seriously I have three kids and my youngest 10mo old sleep through some pretty amazing things!!

I think at 6 months they go through a growth spurt and she is hungry and that could be why she is waking up. I don't think it has anything to do with her being in the same room as you. Babies go through cycles. I completely understand how you feel about having them in the same room with you. Our son is 2 1/2 and still sleeps with us and we are about to have another one and that one will be in the room with us as well. I have no idea when our son will go into his own room, until then we are all happily sleeping in the same room. Maybe your husband would be open to ear plugs?

I think sometimes as moms we forget that our room is our husband's room, too. It isn't fair for him to be woken up by the baby if he's confident having her sleep in her own room. The only way for you to be comfortable doing it is to just do it. From the day we brought our twins home from the hospital, they've slept in their cribs in their own room. I breastfed until they were 15 months old, and I didn't mind getting up out of bed to breastfeed. They have always been great sleepers, and think it is because we've always done things with the end in mind. We knew we wanted them to sleep in their own cribs in their own room, so from day one we've done that. What you're feeling is completely normal, but she will be fine in her own room, and if she is keeping both you and your husband up, move her. Even if you're still awake listening to it, at least your husband can sleep. There is no reason both of you should be tired.

I understand exactly how you feel. I couldn't sleep well at all unless both my children were nearby. Google attachment parenting and you'll see all the benefits of keeping her close (it might help your husband understand). My husband took to sleeping in another room (our children slept VERY poorly, though, so someone had to get some sleep). Try putting on some white noise of some kinds---that might help him sleep through her waking. My rule is if Mommy is happy, then everyone is happy. If you're stressed out by having her far away she will pick up on that stress and it won't work. So really, do what works best for you. The baby will be happier that way.
J.

You could do a trial night or two with the pack-n-play in her room since moving a crib is a pain (we used the pack-n-play instead of a crib for the first year and had NO issues with that). With my first child, I was ready to have him in his own room by 4 months, my husband let me try and as soon as the baby was asleep, he said, "Okay, you got him to go to sleep, you can bring him back now!" He felt so much better having him in our room. By about six months, though, he (the baby) actually slept much better in his own room. I think hearing us sleeping and smelling me would just make him more restless, so we slept with all of our doors open since we only had one child and our doors are a few feet apart.

Our second was in our room for the entire first year--we really would have preferred to have him in his own room, but we have 2 bedrooms and weren't ready to have a toddler and infant sleep alone together until the baby was a bit older.

When we moved our first in his own room alone, we usually ran a humidifier, fan, or played a relaxing CD at a low volume, sometimes on repeat, as a kind of white noise. I think that helped him sleep a bit better and transition better since he was used to some sounds (adults breathing, tossing, etc). The only way to know if she'll sleep better alone is to try it a few times. You will probably go peek in on her and be restless yourself for a night or two, but if you see that she sleeps better, you will feel more comfortable. Turn your monitor on low enough that you only have to hear when she wakes up, not normal sleepy sounds, and enjoy the extra rest. If it doesn't work out, the crib's still in your room, or she can always end up in bed with you (we always seem to end up that way). :)

If kids slept better in their own rooms, there would be a LOT of parents that would report they were well rested. However, parents of infants and young children are notorious for being sleep deprived. This is true whether the babe is next to you, in your room or down the hall. Their wake/eat/sleep cycle is shorter, they are teething, they are discovering -- every child will have spurts where they sleep awful and other. It comes and goes.

My take is the debate is on being an AP parent (attached) or not. APers are more present with their kids and parenting doesn't stop at night. I think this leads to closer families, which is something I want.

We had my daughter's crib in our room until she was just about a year old, also because I was still breastfeeding and checked on her constantly, so I know how you feel. I honestly think that you need to do whatever you are comfortable with, some people thought that I was crazy for keeping her in our room so long, but it worked for us and we had no problems transitioning her to her own room (I was probably way more nervous about it than she was!). When it was time to move her we just made a big deal about her room and made it something special that she showed off to family. We also let her "help" get it ready, which helped make it something special for her.

Good luck with whatever you decide!

I love having our baby with us at night. Enjoy the time you have before they grow up. Maybe you could try putting the crib in her room on during the week and have her sleep in the pack and play in your room on the weekend.

I haven't read any of your responses, but just wanted to say that she could be waking more because many babies go through a growth spurt at 6 months old. As far as her not sleeping in your room that's up to you, but sometimes you just have to do it and it gets easier as it goes.

I think it is a hard step to move baby to their own room (I also face this in the upcoming weeks). Much to my husband's dismay I moved my first to her own room at three months because her gurgling sounds work me so often in the night. It was hard for us the first few nights, but she never missed a beat. because our house was small I learned shortly that I did not need a baby mointer at all because when she needed me her high picked noises woke me from the 10' away our bedroom doors were.

Now I have a 7 month old in our room (bassinet and co-sleep sometimes). She is regressing and waking often because of teething. My husband has taken to sleeping in the nursery where we put the guest bed. It isn't fare to your husband (who i assume works full time) to be woken up. I suggest making the move to nursery, because its going to be a hard step no matter when you do it. If you really can't make yourself do it now, then I say put a bed up for dad in the nursery or guest room where at least one parent can get a good nights rest. The longer you wait to make the transition, the harder the transition.
You might try transitioning the nap to the nursery as a first step.
I myself just want to wait until her bottom teeth erupt, because I think its going to be easier for me to tend to her frequent waking. But the more aware the baby is, the more resistant to that transition.

My guess is that she's hitting a growth spurt or working on new skills or teething.

My DH wanted our baby out of our room because just her moving around woke him, so at about 4.5 mo. I set up the monitor and started easing her into her crib for naps. She did SO MUCH better than I did. I still night-nursed for a long time, but I did so on the couch instead, where if we fell asleep we were OK (she was never against the back of the couch...but your comfort may vary) and DH would wake me when he got up so we'd go back to our beds. It's amazing how you can adjust to doing things (like nursing) half-asleep. If DD nursed, she was back asleep in 15 minutes and I was back in bed, too.

Put the monitor on a low to medium setting where you'll hear her but won't hear every tock of her clock. You'll KNOW when your baby needs you. Even now if DD wakes up in the night, I'm tuned to hear her long before DH does, but I don't wake up to his alarm clock. Brains are amazing things.

Oh, and I still check on DD when I go to bed and just watch her breathe. It's such a sweet thing to see a kid sleep. At some point you have to trust that they'll be OK and that you've set things up so they'll be safe. Heck, we still can't sleep til the teenager is home, either. Maybe we'll get sleep when DD graduates. ;)

I don't think she's waking because she's close to you - rather she's having a growth spurt or teething. OR it's just a phase. I breastfed my daughter and agree it's so much easier when they are closer. However, we did move her pretty early and she seemed to sleep better. I also really enjoyed the midnight feedings w/ just the two of us... so peaceful and not worrying about waking my husband. There is no wrong answer - it's what is best for your family. It won't hurt her either way, as you will always be there for her when she needs you. Is her room large enough so that you can put a twin mattress in too - so you can lay there if you need to?

:):)
i want you to know ive SO been there!!! our son slept in his crib in our room until he was 3. ;)

heres the thing. she is the safest and the happiest in your room. shes almost 6 months old so what shes gonna do is hit one of those major growth spurts, and she will need and want to be nursing almost constantly to increase your supply for her growth. this means at night shes going to wake more. also, things like learning to roll over, stand up, etc are going to also interrupt her sleep.

tell your husband what you told us; the problem is that you will still be awake anyway, so some temporary sleep arrangements must be made. my husband happily went into the other room when our son got to be bothering his sleep at night. he didnt do it angerly, he didnt do it because he was "pushed out" he did it because simply put he needed the rest, and our son needed closeness to a caregiver. i cant tell you the number of times though that he didnt have to get up early in the morning, and we would all snuggle in bed, and even my husband would end up being the one snuggling by morning.

the chances are you move her into the other room and shes going to get scared and the screaming will begin. tell your husband that yes, this isnt convenient, and yes, it isnt perfect, and no it wont last forever! (how many teens do you know that sleep with their parents? LOL. kids DO eventually sleep on their own, and with great sleep habits and attitudes about sleep to boot!:) )
just keep doing what you are doing. let your husband know that you are not offended by him needing to leave the room to sleep, and that you hope he wont feel pushed out either. kids arent soldiers; even adults miss their spouse at night right!? so why would we expect little tiny babies to like sleeping alone when we dont like it ourselves?

i really know how you feel. our son is 4 and a GREAT sleeper (who still sometimes ends up in bed with us by 4 am LOL) and a happy willing sleeper. no bedtime battle here! but i STILL feel heartsick when hes in his own room alone, you know? i dont think that feeling something bad will happen to her really goes away; i STILL have that. and i think that even when he leaves home and goes on his way, i will REALLY worry at night!!! you know what i mean? i think that worry goes with the territory of being a mom.
but the good news is your baby is only 6 months old. she can stay in the room with you, and you will all get more sleep.

you could jest with your husband that if shes in the other room, you are going to elbow HIM to go get her when she cries. LOL. i dont know a husband in the world thats gonna want to do that, so you should be set :P:P

but anyway, be kind and gentle about it with your husband. chances are this is the first time hes ever known anyone to parent this way. chances are he was not parented this way. chances are hes a little jealous of your time with your baby. remember to put his needs first too; make love to the man now and then you know? even if you have to do it when you dont feel like it, trust me, you will enjoy it too. i mean who doesnt enjoy a little sex?! especially if we can make our husbands feel like their needs are being met; he is going to be more welcoming to your baby that baby isnt taking you away from him. LOL
oh and BTW: my husband says breastmilk tastes great. so you got that going for you. might not be a turnon for you, but let your husband be the judge LOL

Aw, I know that feeling - I always wanted my babies close to me too and for the most part, they did stay in our room for the better part of a year or two. We actually had the crib in the other room but after the first middle-of-the-night feeding I would have the baby co-sleep the rest of the night in our bed. Your husband has a valid point though about his own need to sleep, so you're in a tough spot.

If your baby sleeps OK in her crib (and it sounds like she does) do you have room to put a small, comfortable twin bed or futon in her room? That way, you could have her sleep in her room to start the night, when you're up and about and doing things and can check on her, and then one of the times that she gets up, you can just put her down in her crib and sleep in the same room with her. That might help you both with the transition.

FWIW, I don't think she's waking up more because she's close to you. Lots of babies are early risers - I used to nurse my early birds back to sleep to get another hour out of them, or you could try putting her to bed a little later if the early wake ups are an issue. Also, babies go through sleep phases - sometimes they get more active when they're cutting teeth or reaching a milestone (getting up on all fours, crawling, sitting, standing, walking etc.) so it may be that she'll settle back down in a week or two when the phase passes.

Good luck - I hope that you and your hubby can find a compromise that works!

Our 13 mo old still has her crib in our room, however, I would like her to be in her own room. Our house is set up where my husband and my bedroom is on one end of the house and the girls bedroom are across from each other on the other end. I'm not ready to move her down until she starts sleeping better as well. I do not wish both of my kids to be awake 2-3x's at night because of the younger one's screaming. With my first, we were in a different house and did not ever have her sleep in our room once, but we were across the hall. I do not think it matters where you are, whether in the same room or not, both of my daughters went through stages of sleeping through the night, then stopped suddenly and up a few times in that first to second year. So basically, if you are ready, move her, she will be fine. If you are not, I wouldn't worry about it. Your husband is getting sleep. I know my husband doesn't care so much what room he sleeps in as long as he sleeps!