Creating Routines - I NEED This!

P.-

Interestingly, I have that analytical personality and am VERY type A, and I have no routines. It completely blows people away who know me that I am not the parent who had everythign scheduled.

I think you learned some valuable lessons from your childhood about how not to parent - as long as you don't fall into those habits, I think you'll be fine with or without a schedule. I've learned that instincts are a powerful thing.

Having cancer right after the birth of my second child also taught me that being present in their lives is THE most important thing a mom can do. Yes, you need to provide structure, be a good mentor for life's lessons, etc. But, engaging with your kids, providing discipline and support go a LONG way. Because of that, I don't want to get too scheduled that it overtakes our lives and makes us forget that it's the people in our lives that are truly most important, not the activities or things.

Maybe when my kids are older I'll feel differently, but for now we survive on that mantra.

Good luck!

This may be a weird suggestion, but I would suggest Flylady.net. I know that the site is for cleaning your house, but it talks about routines and schedules, and a control journal. You can replace some of the things like "Shine your sink" (unless you want to of course), with brush your hair, etc. It walks you through slowly creating a routine (morning, night and afternoon) and breaking things down to babysteps. It tells you that it is okay if you fall off the wagon, just get right back on again. Just make sure that you develop it slowly and don't get overwhelmed. Good luck.

For us the key isnt what time, but in what order we do things. For example, we get up, have breakfast, brush teeth, play, have snack, play, lunch, play, nap, snack, play dinner. If we try to move things aroudn, like say, not play after lunch, just have a nap, it will throw everything off. But since we know what our general routine is, and do things in a similar time frame (nap is non-negotiable and at 2, no matter what!) we know we can plan around it, say go to the zoo, as l long as we go early and take snacks. But then, my daughter and husband are hypoglycemic and freak out if they dont eat at regular intervals. Hope that helps.

At the end of the day, write down what you did that day and base your routine off of that. I think you may find that you actually do have somewhat of a routine already. IF not, just tweak it a little to get things to run smoother. One website that I like is http://www.flylady.net/. She tells you what and where to clean each day, all of which are small easy things. Even though I don't follow it exactly, I like to look at it and then base my house cleaning needs off of it.

I agree with Sara that the important is not the time but the order.

I'm not a routine person either, but my children (especially my daughter) need the routine. It's easier for them to go with the day when they know what to expect next.
I'm working full time from home and when she is here the nanny follows our routine.

We don't have full day routines. It's more like rituals around larger events (naps, meals)
It goes like that:
- waking up. Changing baby diaper. Son on potty. Washing hands.
- family breakfast
- Dressing up baby. Helping toddler to dress up. Brushing teeth, wash face and hands, brushing hair.
- Free play (baby goes to nap while son is still playing, meaning changing diaper, read a book, put her in the crib)
- Snack
- Free play. Baby gets up
- Lunch time. Toddler helps with cooking and putting the table.
- Nap time for baby (same ritual as above)
- Nap time for toddler (potty, wash hands, a couple of books while in bed)
- free play
- dinner for baby (around 4) and snack for toddler
- free play
- bottle for baby (around 6) then night time ritual for baby (bath, brush teeth, diaper, pajamas, 2 books, song). During baby night time (30-40 minutes), toddler can either watch a video or play on the computer (redfishsoup or starfall)
- cooking dinner
- family dinner (without baby)
- quiet time with toddler, talking, making puzzles.....about 30 minutes
- night time ritual with toddler (bath, teeth, pajamas, books, song)
- me and husband time.

Usually, in the morning, when baby nap, free play is about crafts, finger painting, play dough, collage... And when she is up we go to the park.
If weather permit, we go again to the park before baby's dinner and have quieter activities after. Often, the naps and baby's dinner are outside, either at the park, at the library...

This routine has helped a lot also to diminish tantrums/ whining. My son knows that when baby sleeps, video time is over. So, he doesn't fight anymore for "just one more, please, just one"

Hi P.
I was at home with my toddler and felt like I should have a little more routine in my life but didnt really have the discipline to do it. I wanted to provide just a little more structure for my daughter rather than just floating through the day, letting her watch tv and not following through on some of the parenting promises I made to her and myself. So I started to use a picture schedule that she could understand and therefore it would kind of hold my feet to the fire more. It's called a schKIDule..schedule for kids. It's just a cute picture based magnetic daily schedule that you can set up however you want and you can change it around anytime. It's not super structured and it doesnt matter what time things happen. It's just more of a sequence based tool. They make ones for little kids all the way up to managing chores. The kids love it because they feel "in" on the plan and it helps to keep everyone keeping healthy family habits.
the website is www.schkidules.com

First thing I do is look at all the things that need to happen in a day and estimate how long it will take. Then I prioritize which is most important and has to happen down to the I would like it to happen. Do the same for your kids and then make up a schedule
Example
6:30 am wake up, brush teeth get dressed
6:45 make breakfast, pack school lunches
and so on.. it's just to get started. After a while it'll be second nature and then all you need is a big calendar to write events, appointments, etc on so you don't miss them. Don't feel like you have to stick to the schedule exactly... I mean if it takes an extra 10 min to make breakfast don't worry about it.

with my son we didn't need to worry about a schedule at all. My daughter on the other hand was a very different situation. She thrives off of hers. We wrote down what we were doing all day for about three days and how well she reacted to it. (at first we just put her down once she rubbed her eyes three times, and then how long she cried til she fell asleep). Once we simply talked out loud about what was really working and not working we were able to see what she needed. Now we are diligent about her schedule all day every day. Just try to see what you're doing that works well for you, your husband or sitter and try to implement it into your day. Your mommy radar will kick in after a day or two of looking at the big picture. Good luck!