For my son's first year, I kept a calendar scrapbook. I put favorite pictures in it each month, as well as everything from when he first slept through the night to each of his first foods, cute things he was doing at the time, when his ped. appointments were - basically everything. I put heart and soul into the calendar and all my memories. That calendar was my treasure, and I would regularly take it out and look at it. When my mother visited a couple of months ago, I took the calendar out to show her, and we ooed and awed over it and talked about how big he has gotten since then. That was the last time I saw it. I have NO IDEA what I did with it. I didn't put it back in storage, I didn't put it in his room, in our office, with the photo albums, etc. I have searched the house high and low trying to figure out where I could have put it. I have spoken to my mother, but she can't remember anything about where I put it at the time, and my husband has helped me look with no results. I can think of no where it could be.
At the time, our house was extremely out of control because I had been sick and unable to keep up with the housework. There were piles of papers and such all over the place - recycling was intermingled with things that really needed to be in other rooms. I am just terrified that somehow, it was tossed during the cleaning process. When the thought first occurred to me, I immediately dismissed it as impossible. The calendar was just too important to me - I obviously just put it somewhere and forgot (pregnancy brain an all that). But the weeks have passed and I have slowly eliminated places I thought I might have put it as the house was put back to rights, and still no calendar. Last night, I couldn't sleep thinking of where it could be, so this morning I TORE THE HOUSE APART looking for it. Nothing. I still have copies of all of the pictures, of course, but I have almost no memories of when my son did things during his first year. I have a bad memory in general, and I was PPD and sleep-deprived during my son's first year. I'm heartbroken and now I'm thinking that it is very possible it was thrown out during the clean-up process.
How can I cope with the thought that my son's baby book may be gone? It was my memories of his first year of life. I didn't put together any photo albums from that time because my son's calendar contained it all. I know part of it is pregnancy hormones, but I feel empty, like such a bad person when I think that I could have lost it. Thank you for your advice.
Thank you to everyone for your kind words. To answer one question, I'm sure no one took it. This is just my own scatter-brained carelessness. I was feeling really awful for a while, but you've inspired me to keep looking. SURELY I wouldn't have thrown it away. And if I did - you're right. I can do my best to recreate the memories and of course, I still have my baby, who is worth so much more than any scrap book. Thanks again for your encouragement, and for sharing your stories. I'll keep hoping.
Oh I know the feeling!
I'd say try and calm down and not totally give in to the idea that it's just GONE. Pregnancy brain can make you feel nuts sometimes. I can't count how many times I had something & put it somewhere. THen could NOT remember anything after that.
Hopefully it's somewhere safe and you just don't realize it.
::crosses fingers:: I hope
I lost my son's baby book, his tiny preemie footprints from the hospital-everything in Hurricane Katrina. The bottom line is while it couldn't be replaced I had my memories and had to just get over it. It was gone and it wasn't coming back. You have the possibility that it will show up though! After my mom passed I looked and looked and looked for her jewelry box. Made myself crazy looking for it. One day I walked into the house and it was right there in front of me in a simple place. I had just totally over looked that spot in my frenzies!
It is heartbreaking, but the events and memories are still in your heart. Hang in there and it might show up. We flooded many years ago, I lost so many things and I was also divorced. What I might not have lost during flooding was also lost during the divorce or hidden away by my ex. So many moments seem to be taken away when we lost that simple thing that we worked so hard on. While you can not immediately put your fingers on it, write a letter to your son, or a journal out of what memories you do have. If you wake up and something hits you jot it down. You can never recreate the event but you can celebrate some of the feelings that you thought you lost. You see you did not lose the most important part of this: your son who you can cherish daily.
Tragic as is feels, and it is, it will be ok.
Many children do not have any books, pictures etc of their first years due to fire, parents not able or willing to put it together, or cant afford to do so.
Start from today and do a book or calendar for your child. Make it bright colors so it stands out, and if or when you find the original you will be doubly blessed.
Hi A.C.,
I actually have several ideas for you- I am a mom of a 23 and 19 year old who turned out to be very, very great adults - therefore, I feel I am qualified to share advice :)
1st - I would pray, I am a Christian, and I believe that no matter how "petty" our requests may seem in the scheme of life, God still wants us to ask Him for help.
2nd - You could try to recreate the book as much as possible using the pictures - maybe seeing decorations in the back to help you determine the time of year, etc....also if they are digital and still on your computer they are date stamped...just right click on the picture, select "properties" and the date is there.
3rd - and please don't take offense to this one - this comes from my heart ....You have to put this in perspective. I lost a baby 20 years ago next week, full term, he was born on July 25 and died on July 27. After that loss, my life had a whole new perspective. Babies are not a given...they are a gift from God that we should cherish.
Focus on the fact that you have your baby. You get to be with him every day - hold him, love him, care for him, and watch him grow up.....now think of all the moms that are out there today longing for just one more chance to hold their baby.
I'm not discounting the fact that your baby book may be gone for good....but when you put it in perspective it is a small thing in this big big life that we have. You losing your son's baby book does not make you a bad mom.....you caring so much that you did lose it shows to me that you are an amazing mom.
Sometimes God allows stuff to happen to us because we are holding on too tight to things that really aren't all that important....maybe you lost it for a reason.
Always be grateful for what you do have - your son, your pictures, your promise of a long life watching him grow. Be thankful for each day and 'don't sweat the small stuff'.
May God continue to bless you and your family!
A.
____@____.com
Dear A.C.
You are an amazing mom. We all lose things that are important to us all the time, especially as moms. We are doing the hardest and most important job in the world. If we did not lose things, then we must be doing something wrong :) But they are just things. You have a precious one in front of you. He will remember the hugs, the kisses, the smiles, the time, the love.
I agree that in time it may still turn up (happens to me all the time),
Thought: Why not sit down over the next month, and write in a journal for him all that you remember and that will be fine. Next, you can gather any pics others may have. Then you are done. Smile. You are doing a great job. The memories in your heart are more important.... And if you find the baby book, you will have both...
Now, on a personal note. My mom made me a nice baby book and picture albums. But she was and is not a nice person (to say the least). I do not have a relationship with her as an adult by choice. My point: today I would rather have a loving caring mother, than the baby book and pictures. They are fake to me. Does that make sense???? :)
Hope this helps.
Blessings, Jilly
I think it will show up. Keep a stiff upper lip and think positive.
In the meantime I bet you sent photos to family that were doubles of whatever you put in the book. You may not be able to remember every detail but I bet you could re-construct a nice book.
It's okay to be sad. If you really think it is gone, grieve the book. Then turn, look at your son, and smile because there are lots of years to come!
Just wanted to share that I am in the same boat. I got pregnant again when my son was only 5 months old and I was very good about updating his book and was very emotional (I think b/c of the extra preg hormones, haha). Then, when I was preparing to get my daughters nursery ready for her the book just disappeared. It has been 4 years and to this day I can not find it. I still cry every once in a while about not having it (tho I am preg again so it could be those hormones talking again, haha). But, I figure that they day we move out of our house will be the day I find it.
I could never get myself to purchase a new book and tho to this day I just put special clippings or notes in a memory box. I did the same with my daughter. I was soo upset about his book that I ended up not doing a book for her. So, as I said, instead I have a memory box and just put special clippings and items in it instead.
I hope you are able to find your book!! Hugs for ya and your search!
were these digital images that were printed out? If so, do you still have them saved somewhere? if that's the case, you still at least have the images.
i hope that's the case for you. i'm sorry. I hope it will turn up for you.
.
First off, you are not a bad person IF the calendar is gone. Second, it may just turn up some where completely unexpected.
I can imagine how upsetting this must be, maybe you can start writing down the memories you have as they come to you and then somewhat recreate the calendar.
I will say a prayer for you and hopefully it will show up soon.
I agree with Sheila, try to make another one with what ever you remember. I also have a really bad memory but memories sometimes come, sometimes a smell reminds you something you thought you forgot or somebody said something that brings a memories, a song, etc.
Ask all your family and people that have being around you to help you with whatever they remember. Most likely when they start telling you it will hit you.
I really hope you can find your all one, and when you do it will be so nice to see both calendars. Perhaps in the new one, your family can put some input about how they saw you with your baby and things that maybe even you didn't notice but they did.
Good luck!
Trust me your not a bad person. We all loose things. I have found that when I lose something it ends up in a place that I would never had imagined it to be. I don't know if you are a religious person, but when i lose something I pray for help finding it. What I would do (after praying) is go from room to room & bring a box. Look at each paper/item & put in into the box. You don't have to sort through them yet (do that another time), just look at it & put it in the box.
God bless!
Oh that's sad-- I'm keeping a calendar for my 2nd little girl's first year and I'd be sad if I lost it too.
That said, you do have copies of the pictures, which is great. I know you'll never figure out all the little "firsts" you had listed, but you might check with any close friends or relatives that you might have emailed for the big things (first steps, first smiles, etc.) and see if they keep all their email. I know I keep everything ANYONE sends me, and it's pretty easy to search on a keyword.
Good luck, and I hope it turns up somewhere you wouldn't think to check!
I know how you feel. The drugstore where we were living in PA lost the pictures I took of my son's first birthday. Just...gone. I thought I would go insane from the grief. I still only have one picture, a weird one my mother took. But at least I have the reminder. That being said, start a new book. Get the pictures copied, write down what you can, replace the calendar with LOTS of journal writings from you to him, and try not to beat yourself up. It is just STUFF. It's the kid behind the book that you really couldn't replace. Plus, if your luck runs like mine, once you start working on a new one and get it going well, you will find the first one.
You are not a bad person! You are a mommy dealing with too much going on!
I am the same way about my daughter's babybook. Amy B's post is the only thing that would make me feel better about it, and help me to put things into perspective. So, I just wanted to say I'm so sorry, good luck in your search for it, i hope you find it, and thanks to amy b.
Do you think someone took it?
