Just curious, are the any new mom's out there who have recently dealt with or are dealing with a parent dying? My mom has been given months after a 5 year battle with breast cancer that metasticized. My relationship with her wasn't what I had always wanted and I have accepted this, she was really never there for me when I needed her after I hit my teens. My mom had an in home daycare and didn't really know how to relate to young adolescents. I have made peace with her, but I am still having an extremely difficult time accepting that she will soon be gone. I have a picture of her in her wheelchair with oxygen holding my daughter on the day she was born. I look at it everyday knowing that I will do better and wishing things were different.
I am raising my daughter with little external support-such as a MOM or grandma or sister. It's hard raising my daughter without someone to look to for help.
Thank you for the insight... On June 20 my mom was moved to an end of life facility, she passed away on July 13.
My dad passed away 6 days after my daughter was born, about a year and a half ago. My dad and I were a lot like it sounds like you and your mom are. My mom has MS and isn't the same as before she was sick and after my dad died it has only gotten worse. If you need someone to listen or to talk to you can email me at ____@____.com.
Take it from me, R....put your pride aside and be there for her, it will benefit your child later and your peace of mind. Take planty of pictures of her with your daughter, for your daughter's memories later on...it'll give her a sense of family, even though she is too little right now to understand. All my daughter will have to remember my mother are a couple of pictures of my mom holding her and feeding her a bottle...but at least we have that, I would be devastated if we didn't have those TWO PICTURES.
I lost my mother in 2003, we didn't have the same situation that you do however, she was out of state and I will never forgive myself for letting the lack of money keep me from being there for her at the end. You only get one mother. I would give anything to be able to spend one more day with her.
HI,
My situation is not the same but I lost my oldest son at 8 and found out my youngest was coming 4mos after that.So I understand what loss is like.So if you never need an ear i have a good 1.
M.
Hi R.!
I can't imagine the hurt you must be going thru knowing what you know about your Mom and the feelings you have inside that may seem unresolvable. You must be feeling a bit guilty for the relationship that you don't have with your Mom. Sometimes guilt creeps up, even when we are not guilty. Know what I mean? Please don't stew about what could have been, because you still have time. Even though she made you feel as though she was never there for you, try to put that aside and be there for her now. My grandmother, who was my sanctuary, died in February and I was an emotional mess. It's never easy, and you can never prepare for a loved one passing. Not even if you know of it ahead of time before they pass. I'm sorry you have to bare this, and I'm sorry your Mom has to go thru this as well. May be if you talked with your Mom and tell her these feelings...get them out in the open and let her know that you forgive her. This will be a great step in healing for you. Forgive her. It will be ok. Please, if you are looking for a friend, email me: ____@____.com I would love to talk with you more and listen a lot more. Take care, G.
Hi R.,
I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm not a new mom, but I lost my mom in Feb. 06 after an 11 year battle with breast cancer. I wasn't really close to my mom until my son was born in 1993. Then things changed and I was able to build a relationship with her. I got extremely sick in Nov. 05. From when I got sick to my mom's passing, I probably saw her 4-5 times which was really hard for me. My children still have their other grandma and several aunts. I also have a couple of close friends that my kids call aunt. If you're a part of a church, the ladies can come along side of you for that support. Perhaps a mom's group or a play group? Have a blessed weekend.
C.
R.,
I lost the BEST grandpa in the world to cancer 7mo. ago, He was everything you could imagine a grandpa to be, to me and my brothers and sisters and to our kids,he would just tease and play, we could never do anythig wrong in his eyes. Anyway I had my third child(son) in Aug and he died in Oct. he go to see pictures of my son but never got to hold him , the ONLY greatgrandchild (of 12) he never got to see, he would hold his picture and cry. Please just take your daughter to see your mom every chance you get and take LOTS of pictures of them AND you together, or you will with you had.. Good Luck
