T.C.
I don't know about Turkey in a bag, but I can't resist sharing my Turkey Cooking experience. It's a long read, but it IS funny.
Ladies, care to share your Brightest or darkest Turkey moment??
Please know, my mother would have been laughing hysterically at me through this whole ordeal. Later, I was able to laugh.
On January 19 of 1999 my mom was diagnosed with Terminal Cancer. Her next year was one of abject misery. She was called to Heaven on February 4, 2000 at the young age of 50.
As the holidays drew closer noone in my family really wanted to celebrate. Thanksgiving was always Mama's day. We cooked wile the guys watched the games together. Rather, I sat on a stool and did busy work while we talked and she made the dressing, giblet gravy, etc... But, we TALKED and LAUGHED, and enjoyed each other.
So, my Daddy, Little Brother, and I decided that we were going to skip this first year without her... Well, about 3 days before Thanksgiving my Daddy called me and said he and my brother had decided that Mama would have wanted us to celebrate Thanksgiving, and so the two of them were coming to MY house for the holiday.
Now, I could have been offended and said "NO", but they didn't really get along, and since they were together on SOMETHING I figured I could cope if they could. I jumped in the truck and went to our local grocery, and bought THE LAST turkey they had. Well, why do you think it was THE LAST? Was it too small??? NOPE it was HUGE. I'll bet this Turkey outweighed most of your toddlers! In fact, he might have been ready for Kindergarten. Undaunted, I rescued the poor unwanted turkey and told him he'd be the star of the show. Little did I know it was going to be a show for Lucille Ball!! Boy was my Mama in planning mode up there!
First, I left the turkey out to thaw that night. In the morning, he was STILL half frozen. I figured, I could start it on a low setting and let it thaw in the oven. So, I prepared him to roast, picked up the pan and shoved him in the oven...NOT. This turkey was SO BIG that he would not fit in my full size oven. I set the pan on the counter and looked at the oven in complete disbelief. I considered cutting it like a fryer, but what kind of a presentation would that have been??? Then I had an moment of Genius! The Grill! The grill would hold Mr. Jumbo! So, I went out to prepare the Grill. No Charcoal. Man! The day was just getting better and better! I was TICKED, and beginning to panic.
I couldn't go to town because my husband had put his company truck in the shop and taken mine to work. I sat on the porch and wanted to cry. Then, I spied my solution! How fortunate we live in the great state of Texas though, because we just happened to have a nice little Mesquite tree along the back yard fence. I jumped up went to the little sacrificial tree. Problem: No Axe to cut limbs off. I gathered the broken limbs and figured I had just about enough to roast the troublemaker. BUT, without an axe or saw to break the wood into grill-size pieces, I still didn't have a fire.
I scoured the place and found a LARGE sledge hammer my husband had brought home. He'd left it behind because the handle was only half a handle, but I was determined it would work. I leaned the limbs on the side of the pourch and proceeded to bludgen the limbs to pieces with my broken sledgehammer. There were pieces flying all over the place. It took me longer to find the pieces than it would have taken me to WALK to town. All the while I'm in tears because "I DIDN'T WANT TO DO THANKSGIVING IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!". But, by golly I wasn't giving up!
I did manage to get enough wood in the grill for a substantial fire. And, by the time I had coals for cooking, the turkey was thawed. I put him on the grill for about 20 minutes naked, then wrapped him in foil and let him bake. Let me tell you, that turkey was the best tasting turkey I have EVER eaten. Bar NONE. I don't know if it was the Mesquite wood or my tears, or just the relief of finally having it done. Whatever, it did keep me busy and didn't let me sit in a funk over the holiday. And it gave my family a great story to remember my Mama. Because she would have been laughing too hard to help me.
Best Wishes to each of you for the Holidays!
T.
