Controling Bowel Movements

It sounds like she has had a painful bm at some point and is holding her poops. I had exactly the same problem with my son and took him to the DR. where I got no helpful info! I finally found some good info online that worked for us.
First of all, you need to make her bm's really soft so that they don't hurt when she finally goes. Give her 1 or 2 tablespoon of mineral oil in the evening mixed with a little OJ (or other fruit juice). I told my son it was tummy medicine so that his poops wouldn't hurt and he took it easily (it's tasteless anyway). Also, start mixing in a tablespoon of fiber (like Benefiber) into everything that she drinks during the day. Within 24 hours she should have a BM. If she won't sit on the toilet, put her in a diaper when she needs to go and tell her that it won't hurt her when she has her diaper on.
Add natural fiber to her diet like popcorn, fresh fruit and whole grains if she will eat them.
Don't pressure her to go; she will not be able to hold her bm's if you give her the mineral oil and fiber and let nature take it's course.
Keep this up for at least a month after she starts going regularly, and then slowly ease her off the oil and fiber. If you see that she is not going every day, start her again but on a smaller dose of fiber and oil.
One thing about the mineral oil, it can prevent vitamin and nutrient absorption, so don't give it at mealtime.
Good luck!

We had the same problem with my daughter. She got constipated once or twice, so when she did finally go, it hurt her to go. So she started withholding. For us it got so bad, we had to put her on medicine to help her go.
If this is the start of the problem, you may be able to avoid the medicine route with a high fiber diet, lots of fruits and veggies, etc. My daughter only has whole grain cereal, bread, pasta, rice, snacks (even rice cakes, goldfish, graham crackers, etc. now come in whole grain forms). Also, keep her well-hydrated with lots of water. If you can get her to eat prunes, those are really good for getting her to go. My daughter won't eat them and initially resisted the prune juice, but I mixed it with water and apple juice and she drank it then.
My friend also recommended fruit nectars (their in the juice aisle) as they are sweet, but high in fiber. These help give them the urge to go and make it hard for themto control not going.
All fo this worked well for us in keeping my daughter regular even after she was off the medicine.
Good luck.

My daughter has had this problem on and off for a couple of years now, but she is seven. The pediatrician said bowel withholding is really, really, really common. The problem, though, is if they hold it (for whatever reason), once they do finally go, if it's a big, hard poop they can get a small tear in the rectum called a fissure. This makes it painful to poop the next time, and so they equate pooping with pain and they continue to hold it. The poop gets backed up in the colon, causing stomach pains, and stretching out the area. Because it gets stretched, the sensation of when they have to go starts to disappear and they end up with a really big, hard poop everytime-- and in the meantime, some watery poop leaks out around the edges, making it look like they have really loose poop when actually they have a big corked up one! I am sooooo sorry to be so graphic, but it is taking months and months to get my daughter's body back into shape after having it go for soooo long without realizing how to fix it. Talk to yor pediatrician. Mine suggested cleaning out the poop first (laxatives/supositories), then puttig her on a daily stool softener for MONTHS. Catch your daughter while she is young and get advice from your pediatrician before it becomes a long term problem.

hi N. i just called my son's ped.about the same thing and she told me thats normal for this age,to increase his fiber and give him apple juice,that will soften the b.m.,well finally last night after holding it for 3 days he went twice in the big potty,so hopefully he will not be so scared anymore,i hope this helps you some?

She might be a bit constipated. Mott's Fresh Pressed Apple juice helps keep them regular. I give my daughter about 4 oz. every morning and it does the trick. You could also bring in a reward for going as well. Mine works well to tattoos of her favorite Disney princesses and Mickey and friends. I bought them cheap off of EBay.