Controling a Temper

You say "living overseas" and "single mom" in your little bio. Those two things alone contain can be enough stress on a 6 year old. I moved all over the world with my older brother and younger sister and hated every new place for a year or so until I got to know some new kids (and then we would move again). Add no daddy (how recent?) and no wonder she wants some attention. Perhaps she is acting up JUST to get your attention. I think she needs 1) a place of her own, her own room if possible, so you can let her know she can always go there if she does not want to be with her little siblings, 2) some time with just mommy - even if you just put the other 2 in bed earlier and read stories to her or snuggle with her alone in your bed, or watch a show or something, 3)perhaps a gift from you like an MP3 player or a lap-desk and a drawing pad and some nice color pencils or something that she can use in her own space to retreat to and use as an "excuse" that it is "for big girls" and the others cannot use it (or a toenail polishing party for you and her). I think if you give her more attention in any way she will do better with her temper.

I can empathize, my now 16 yr old was an "only" for 16 years. "Only's" like oldest children often feel the need and stress of being "good all the time" and have more responsibilities, especially when it comes to having younger siblings and often have a hard time keeping it under their hat all the time. It was always important to me that if my daughter was well behaved, polite, helpful and mindful of others in the public arena (very stressful by itself) then she was aloted so leeway to have occasional meltdowns at home. I also was a single mom for 10 years with her and when I noticed her meltdowns (crying, slamming doors, hitting her head against the wall, shouting out 'I wish I were dead') were happening more frequently I had to make it a priority to carve out some mommy/daughter time away from home. Sometimes just a meal out by ourselves did the trick, she always (and still does) opened up about the stress in her life while we're riding in the car.
Myself being an oldest of a divorced mom can remember how much I resented and most of the time couldn't stand my younger siblings wished my mom had at least acknowledged my responsibilities with the younger ones and rewarded me with a little mommy time. 30-60 minutes weekly that she can count on can go a long long way to keeping her stress down and let her feel how important she is to you.
Also, it's important to make the younger sibs understand that older sister deserves privacy and time without them.
Hope this helps, life as a single mom is difficult, I was lucky to have some really good friends to reach out to, I hope that you do too.

try finding a little time a couple days a week for her. Maybe when the younger kids go to bed. Just a book read or something small. Do makeup time! Something for a big girl. Then tell her she only gets the "mommy time" if she is well behaved. Bribery works! I have a five year old almost 6 year old that ascts out too! I think they all do!

M.

Working at home and loving it!

For the sibling rivalry issues, I highly recommend the book Sibling Without Rivalry by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish... their books are my childrearing bibles.