So our court order states that my ex gets visitation rights one weekend Sat. 11 AM to Sun 6 PM and then the following weekend Sun 9 AM to 6 PM and that paternal Grandma must transport the child.
Okay so my wonderful ex is taking me to court for contempt for Friday Oct 8th. I don't know what he plans on accomplishing. He is angry because I let our son sleep at my ex's brother's house that Friday. He told his brother that he should have to ask him not me if our son can sleep over there....I know crazy and childish. So I get the summons yesterday Saturday the 6th we have court on Wed. the 10th. How awesome of him to leave me with 2 business days to contact my lawyer, I have to try and find child care because I am a stay at home mom, and I have to see if the bus company the school uses will allow my oldest to get the bus at another location that morning. I am just so annoyed about this and the lack of time I have to prepare for it. I have been nothing but nice and civil and this is the thanks that I get for it. Grandma constantly is late or sends someone else to pick our son up yet I never file contempt but I could, I have let him stay late for a family event or go early because of one, I have tried to be civil about everything. Should I really have to be a b&%^$ He pulls this every time he gets mad.
edited: after googling for awhile I found that the summons must be served 10 days prior to the hearing.
My lawyer cannot be there on Wed because he actually has another similar case for the same day at a different courthouse so I was told to ask to have it continued given the extremely short notice.
Do I understand you were the one to have custody at the time the child was staying with your exbrother? It is a nonissue if that is the case. And I hope the judge rebukes your ex, makes him pay all court costs, and orders him to undergo anger management or mental health counseling. :0)
Document everything. Who shows up, what time, etc.. in the future.
And is he paying support on time? The first time it was late, I would file.
Make sure your attorney files for attorneys fees and other reasonable cost be taxed to your ex. I can imagine that the judge will be pretty annoyed because who your child stays the night with during your time is none of his business. But while your in court go ahead and ask what your rights are when they are late or sending someone else. Good luck with that douchebag
Looks like you need to have a strict parenting plan. One that is simple and clear. He gets him this many days, and so an so picks him up and drops him off. Also you need to talk to your lawyer about if there is a next court hearing that you should have so many days notice in advance, and also wouldnt hurt to do research on your rights. You shouldnt have to put up with all this, especially when you are being nice, and civil as his mother. You are working hard to keep the peace and it is getting you nowhere. He thinks he can take advantage of you probably to see how far he can push you and how much he can get away with. Sounds like Grandma is doing the same by being late all the time too, or sending someone else to do her job of picking him up. It isnt fair to keep you waiting and it isnt fair to your son either.
Think its time you put your foot down and stopped being so nice. Write down what you expect from this court hearing, what you want, and what you will not put up with. What you will accept as well. If you want him to have a certain amount of days a week, or dont want someone seeing him, or him to be home a certain time each time then state so and dont be so quick to accept anything just because it might be easier. Dont be manipulated by him or his family. Do whats best for you and for your son.
Good luck and hopefully everything works out for you.
When you have custody the kids go and do what you want them to do. When Dad has custody they go and do what he wants them to do.
If the court is now running your life and ordering how your schedule for the children goes, you have to follow it to the tee. If you dont you can be held in contempt.
A very big waste of your time to keep running to court.
It causes stress which I'm sure your child sees and hears and feels.
I am so sorry for you, it can be a nightmare until the kids turn 18. Even when you try to play fair it can backfire on ya in a heartbeat. A lot of times it's about the money.
I wish more women that don't already have children would read these posts, maybe it would help them realize how important it is to really be "ready for marriage commitments and children", it's a hard life lesson that most of us learn after we have kids... so not fair to them. I'm not dissing you, as I am a product of divorce as well.... it's just crummy for the kids even when we grow up and have to deal with all the extra "step people" in our lives.
I agree with Kay. Document everything. Ask what your rights are and start standing your ground. Yes you have the right to start being the B*&^%. He thinks you are a doormat, don't be one.
Good luck.
Show up with specific documentation of your husband's negligence, such as the times grandma is late or has sent someone else. Make a specific list of as many dates this has happened as you can remember. Then you can say, "In the past 3 months, someone else has picked up our child at least 5 times" rather than being vague like, "someone else often picks him up." Having good documentation makes you case much stronger. As someone else said, I'd totally ask for him to pay your lawyer fees and childcare costs for this situation. Good luck!
Maybe it's time you start being "uncivil" about it so that he can get the message its not just one way (and I am not talking about getting nasty/rude) - just standing your ground for what you know you did right. If he is going to drag you in court all the time over minor issues, he obviously feels he can get away with it.
Rachel,
Try to stay as civil as you can and save the good fight for these ridiculous "contempt" of court battles. Save that anger and use it when it's needed to fight for what you believe in and for what is right. Your husband will definitely soon be seen as the person who ALWAYS files a contempt over the smallest issue and the judge will sooner than later lose patience over this. Wishing you the best of luck. Just try to keep your cool and keep the stuff you are feeling between yourself and your lawyer. I understand your frustration very well...sometimes all we have is really being a "b*tch" but as I've said, use it for when it's really needed and neccessary. Just because he wants to be juvenile, doesn't mean you have to follow suit w/ him. :) Best of luck, believe me, don't worry about this, the judge will eventually see right through him and I hope you have a decent lawyer who will truly fight for you and not only try to "win" the case. :)
Unless your son staying at his uncle's made him late for Saturday morning w/ his father, you aren't in contempt AND this should blow over (surprised the court actually scheduled this). Even if your ex is wrong and is falsing accusing you of contempt, the court schedules the hearings so the short notice is really their fault (not him).
Document everything and when you have a hearing, make sure you bring up your concerns regaring late arrivals and grandma not transporting. Specify that going forward, your son will only go as scheduled if the proper person picks him up on time (within a few minutes).
I do not think that you need to get a lawyer for this. The wording of stipulation Order from the Court is what the Court and the parties must adhere to. I suggest you save your money and go and talk to the Day Lawyer at the Court, which is free of charge. 'Contempt' is if the Order is not complied with, and is not open to hugely wide interpretations. Does the Order say anything about where the boy must sleep or who has to be asked permission? You can definietely complain about the lateness with the Court, and the Judge will tell the ex to be punctual in future.
