Contagion Alerts

My niece became sick with scarlet fever 2 days after she attended a party at my house.

My son got chicken pox 3 days after I hosted a party at my house.

Another niece got the flu a few days after she'd been to a party at my house.

My nephew was diagnosed with lice a day after he'd been to my house and had been trying on hats with the neighbor kids.

In all cases, I contacted all of the families and said 'just wanted to let you know ... please keep an eye out and let me know if something happens.' not putting blame on anyone, just let them know that they had been around someone who was now experiencing x,y,z.

My granddaughter got Hand Foot and Mouth and we never figured out where it came from. The only thing we thought of was the shopping cart at Wal-mart, since she was the first to get it in her daycare.

If the child had no symtoms how is the mother to know the child is sick? I guess you could say "well we at the gocery store yesterday and a lady sneezed one aisle over---so she might be coming down with a cold ---- and then we went to Mc Donalds and played in the play area and you know how germy those places are so who knows what she was exposed to ...... on and on and on....

Or you could tell her to put her kid in a bubble and never really interact with other people but that's really over the top.

No you are not responsible to warn people that your child, or anyone may get sick tomorrow or the next day. I think that's a given.

If you know then you are obliged to tell...it's simple as that. You have no way of knowing the health of other people's children or whose kid is immuno-compromised, allergic, etc. With that said, why would you want to be the contributing factor to what could be a serious situation for some, if indeed you're kids are sick. People can say what they want that you can't track down where germs come from. Not true. It's easier than you want to believe. Pretty much everytime my kids got sick, I knew exactly where they got it and from whom, regardless of whether parents told me or not if it turned out the carrier was a child/friend.

I flipped my lid a year ago when I found out a friend "forgot" to tell me she was purposely exposing her kids (just days prior -that previous weekend to be exact) to another family that was sick for over a month with chicken pox! No mention at all until 4 hours AFTER she returned to pick up her own children. I guess because they didn't have visible symptoms she assumed they were asymptomatic!!??? What the hey?! In case you're wondering, she's anti-vaccine and was trying to boost their immunity the "old fashioned way." (Her words not mine) ;p

My kids are vaccinated, but my husband and I never had them. It can be serious to deadly for adults or those who are pregnant. I thought this friend knew better about common courtesy concerning germs. Apparently not...or worse yet, she was so desperate for a day away from the kids she didn't care!! Needless to say, we don't go out of our way to associate with these folks much anymore. I guess I have trust issues! LOL.

Lucky for her, we didn't get sick, but if we had....ooooh.

I say yes, there are some illnesses you just don't know until it's too late and that can't be helped. But I know too many folks who bring their sniveling, post-nasal drip kids around anyway. I think it's really rotten. People should have the option to bow out and be preventative if they want to. No parent should KNOWINGLY force germs on another family. It's just the right thing to do.

If I or my friend's have play dates, we ALL will tell each other if our kid is sick at that time, if it arises.
Then the play date gets rescheduled.

Of course, if my kids are sick or ill, I TELL the other Mom.

And who knows where a child gets sick from.
It could have been from "Sally's" house or not.
And there is no way to tell if our kid is a carrier or not, of an illness, if they are not showing symptoms.

Like Megan I only worry about warning when I know our son has been or is actively sick. As a courtesy I want other parents to make informed decisions regarding their children's health and exposure. What parent likes being caught off guard with an illness? If my warning helps them be on the lookout for a possible illness and/or to be able treat the illness that much faster, then that's a good thing in my book. For instance our son contracted roseola right before Thanksgiving last year. We have no idea where he got it from but we let everyone know who was coming to our house so they could decide whether to expose their children. I would argue your friend Anne's reaction is a bit over the top. Like you say symptoms and exposure don't always follow a nice pattern we can alert everyone to. The important thing to remember is most of parents are not maliciously trying to get other children sick. Illnesses happen.

My DD is exposed to some sort or another bug at daycare EVERY single day. There is ALWAYS some note posted on the door...pink eye, croup, HFM, roseola - you name it.
If we were to stay at home or not have friends over every time there has been some sort of exposure we would NEVER leave the house or have people over.
My rule is that if I would send her to daycare then she can play with other kids at our or their house.
Kids get sick. As annoying as that is for parents, it's good for them to build their immune system.
If Anne goes not want her children to get sick, ever (not recommended) she needs to place them in a plastic bubble.

Updated

I think "Anne" is overreacting. If a child is sick, than yes, we as mothers should disclose that info so that others can try to avoid the illness. But to be concerned with kids who have been exposed but are not sick kind of takes it to another level. I guess if she KNEW for sure her kid had just been around someone with hand/foot/mouth then, yes, she might want to share that, but how many times are kids exposed to stuff we dont even know about? Cant spend a bunch of time worrying about that stuff... its not in our control and just causes us to not enjoy life.

Eh, it is a tough one, because kids are exposed to a myriad of things on a daily basis.

When mine was in daycare, I picked him up one day and my sitter told me "Child X broke out in chicken pox today, so everyone has been exposed". Yep, all 7 of them got it. The upside was that since they were all exposed, and all got it, she just kept them all and non of us parents had to take off work. LOL It was like a little pride of spotted children for about a week.

Mine was prone to strep throat as a child. So whenever he began getting a sore throat I would run him to the doctor for a swab and alert day care if he was positive. I would not bring him in until he was no longer contagious.

But, for the most part, with many childhood illnesses we don't really know if they have something until they get sick (of break out in spots). So, we can warn people if we think they were exposed to something - but that leads back to the numerous exposures every day.

So I come full circle on this one.

Just do your best and stay alert, and know that you are doing your best to protect your child and the children your child comes into contact with.

The problem is that if Sally was asymptomatic then Sally's mother had no reason to warn anyone. She was not obligated to warn anyone. Jane may have gotten it from Sally but she very well could have gotten it from another child or adult that she came into contact with that was asymptomatic.

There's no possible way for us to know about every single germ our children may have come into contact with. That's just life. I get why Anne is upset, since HFM sucks donkey balls. She did the right thing letting others know because her child DOES have it for certain. But Sally's mother is under no such obligation since Sally has no symptoms and isn't sick.

If you feel an obligation to mention it when you know your child was exposed FOR CERTAIN even though they're not showing signs of having the illness, that's really entirely up to you. They may eventually get sick but they might not. They might pass it on, but they might not.

When my girls come home from some place, I do call the place they came home from and mention that they got sick but as a heads up to the mom who hosted in case their child/ren start to show signs of being sick too. I also call the school nurse to let them know and most times the school nurse will say, "Oh yes, there's been an outbreak of ____" or "Thanks for letting me know, J., I'll keep a note on that."