Constantly Snapping at My Husband

Hi M.,

Hows your church life? Your relationship with God? I found that when those two things are lacking I get awnry. Also, we were all created to have God fill the void in our soul. If you need a church family, Southeast Christian Church on Jordan Rd in Parker is awesome!

Blessings,
C.

Ugh, I feel this way too! Are you a demanding perfectionist? I am, and consequently too hard on myself and then too hard on those close to me, especially if things aren't going my way. When I start getting into this routine I try to think about all the reasons I married him, the little things he does that I forget about/overlook, and how any other woman would be grateful to have him, and remind myself of all the annoying/rude things I do that he overlooks. I make a conscious effort to tell him I appreciate him and specific things he is doing (at first he'll probably think you are being sarcastic).
I think that is the most important part - verbalizing all the reasons your partner is great reaffirms all those good qualities. Or say them out loud to your child during the day so that when your husband gets home you are in a positive mindset about him. Doing this will also prompt people to be their best and help you out because they ALREADY feel appreciated and want to live up to your wonderful ideals of them.
If you are feeling overwhelmed try to tell him up front so that you don't have to come up with excuses for your attitude. Obviously, they'll always be some days you snap at him, but hopefully they will be fewer and far between!
Oh, one other thing I am trying to do myself - when I feel stressed and have the urge to snap, go hug him instead - it brings you close and opens the lines of communication if you need to talk. He won't be expecting it and it will make you both happy!

I say breathe....
If you don't have to take something for losing weight, then don't as it really can mess with your system. Getting your hormones in check with the right birth control will do wonders too. All that on your plate will totally make you irratable. Taking Vitamin B every day will totally relieve PMS symptoms as I have found out myself personally. You have to take it for a good three weeks before you see the effects but it helps.
Go get teething tablets for your son, it helps a ton!!!
Instead of taking something for weight loss, try green tea, cutting just 300 calories out of your diet a day and not eating after 6:00pm...you will be amazed how it can drop off without any medical intervention!!!!!!!!!!
Taking time out for yourself is crucial too.
Keep the lines open with your hubby, explaining you aren't angry with him but will work on being better at not snapping at him. Making sure you take responsibility for your actions.
You are young, you will lose the weight without meds, promise, you just need to get your body on the right path.
Women take a good year to get their bodies, hormones back after giving birth too, so give yourself a break.
Talk to your Dr too as you can have Post Partum even mos after a baby is born....
Hang in there, breathe, take time out for yourself (a bubble bath), take vitamins, go for walks with your son, drink green tea and talk to your Dr!!!!!!!!
Hugs.

Take a deep breath. Now take another one.
You sound like you have too much stress in your life. I know when that happens to me that I am snappy with my husband and son too. During my last really stressful time, my husband actually called me on the snapping, he said "Why are you so mad at me?" And the thing was, I wasn't mad at him -- I was actually really grateful for everything he was doing for me (he took on extra chores around the house without me having to ask). But, because I was stressed and I know he loves me and would never leave me, I felt safe taking my stress out on him. And that isn't fair. So take a deep breath, count to ten, take a bubblebath, count your blessings, whatever you need to do to relieve stress for you. And then apologize to your husband for being snappy and ask him to help you not be snappy with gentle reminders (tell him what the reminder should be) when you start. Also, your house doesn't have to be perfect -- figure out what you can't live without and let the rest of it slide for now. And finally, if I were you I'd drop the phentermine. The best kind of weight loss is from exercise (which, ironically is a good stress releiver!)
I hope you get feeling better!

I feel like everything you listed is contributing. Talk to your doctor to see about other medicines and find a friend you can confide in. Vent when you need to - even if it is just to a piece of paper or document on the computer. If there are things your husband can do to help you - tell him. Men love to "fix" things and if he knew what he could do and he knew you really needed the help - I'm sure he would jump in. If he seems unwilling - talk to him. My husband has become a great help at home and I feel it has come with me talking to him about what he could do to help me - he didn't know where he fit before and didn't want to invade on "my" territory.

Just start talking! Women usually feel better when they can talk things out.

First of all ... stop the phentermine. You will immediately notice the difference. 2nd start taking Omega 3 (fish oil) you will settle down and be able to start enjoying life again. I took phentermine many years ago and the same thing happened to me. There is a reason this product was pulled from the market for a long time. It's not good for your body. Like all diet pills it causes your heart to race and it sends you into "fight or flight" mode. Last year I lost 60 lbs and the only way to do it ... is excercise. I know ... not the easy way ... but it's the only safe way. Because of what is going on in my life right now I have put some of that weight back on but I'm ready to get busy again. Walking is the best thing ... take your son and both of you get out and see the beautiful scenery. Hope this helps. Feel free to email me and I will give you other tips that helped me lose the weight and I can also share horror stories about the phentermine if you want.

I found myself being unusually impatient with my 6 year old son. I discovered the books, Fish! and Fish! for Life by Stephen Lundin. Each book took me about 1.5 hours to read. They have helped me to regain perspective and to be a better communicator with others - including my son.

Instead of saying anything when you are tempted to lash out, just allow yourself to feel your emotions and think about them. If he does something and you want to tell him not too, just stop. Don't say anything, even if he's wrong he can figure stuff out himself. Think about why you are upset. What's on your mind? Are you stressed? Anxious? Do you have a headache? Then say how you feel and allow yourself to recognize what's going on inside. Then you can deal with it.

My husband's been doing that lately and encouraged me to last night and I was so upset! I didn't want to "think about" how upset I was. We ended up having a great conversation about how hard it is to not have a weekend when you're a mom and some of my goals and dreams and we both recognized that I was feeling stressed and trapped.

It sounds like you are stressed from all that is going on in your life! You have a lot on your plate. I think you need to get your husband's help and support to get you through. If you are afraid that you can't talk to your husband without snapping, write him a nice note explaining how you feel and that you are not trying to take it out on him. Hopefully, he can help you through this tough time! Can he take on some houshold duties to lighten the load? Can he help you more with the baby? Also, talk to your doctor about the birth control pills...they may be causing you some hormonal changes that are making you crabby. Good luck!

Flax seed oil is good for omega 3s and will help you feel better. Be sure you are getting a good workout and plan what you will talk about with your husband when he gets home. Tell him all you did, even if it was 'just' changing 30 diapers today.