Constant Bedwetting

We had a son that had that problem til he was about 9 or 10 years old. The only thing that worked for him was a nose spray of some sort. I didn't want to use drugs either but it was the only way he could sleep at someone's house without everyone finding out. Since he only used it occasionally he never had any side effects from it. And he just outgrew the problem. I feel for you (and them). Good luck!

Bedwetting is much more common in boys than girls, but it can happen in either. My younger daughter wet the bed until she was almost 12. When she got to be about 8 or 9 we talked to the doctor, and she mentioned DDAVP. My daughter only took it when she was going to spend the night somewhere. She still wore her pull up, but for overnights there is often a sleeping bag involved, so she could keep it in the sleeping bag until she went to bed, then take it off inside the sleeping bag, and no one would know about it. She was responsible for clean-ups and throwing the pull-ups away. She didn't take the DDAVP every night, and it was great because it gave her peace of mind. I always let the adults know where she was going so she didnt' sleep on the brand new mattress. She never had a problem at either camp or friends' houses.

Hi A.,
How frustrated you must be because it does sound like you've tried everything you can think of. Since you would like to avoid medication (good for you) are you open to nutritional supplements? There appears to be a strong connection to bedwetting and some specific nutrients. Sounds strange, doesn't it? But I have read numerous testimonies of it being solved. Let me know if it's something you'd want more info about. S.

A.,

As you can see from the responses, bedwetting is a lot more common than people think. It's just not talked about because we don't want to embarass our children.

However, if it were me (actually it was me, with my 10 yo) I would take them to a pediatric urologist just to be sure that everything is okay. It is possible that there is a simple problem that can be easily fixed. But, if everything IS okay, you just have to wait it out.

As for the pull-ups, My son has become quite adept at hiding his Good-Nights! :) He even hid them from a whole cabin of boys on a school camping trip!

Hang in there, and take comfort in the knowledge that you have a lot of company in this! :)

Blessings, and Happy New Year!
J.

SO does that mean the doctor knows that there bladders are the right size for their body? My son is 11 and still has problems with this and I won;t do meds either. I try to remind him daily and make sure he goes to the bathroom before bed, no drinks near bed time and sometimes certain foods can trigger this. I've seen many people say ice cream and dairy may cause these problems. They may have a food allergy.

I know this may not be the advice you want to hear/or take, but my son wet the bed until he was abouit 10 1/2 yrs old. We tried everything to no avail. He eventually grew out of it. We stopped trying to "fix" him when the doctor said there was no medical reason for it and to maybe just leave it alone for a while. He encouraged us to wait and if he was still wetting at age 12 we would begin to work on a "medical" solution. When we stopped drawing attention to the problem he began to relax and began to stop wetting so frequently until he was dry all the time. I bought Good Nights instead of Pull-Ups so that when he went to sleep overs no one knew he was wearing something other than underwear. My son still sleeps VERY soundly and walks and talks in his sleep. He gets up in the middle of the night and uses the bathroom. He doesn't remember it the next day. So, maybe take a step back, take a deep breath, and give your children a little more time! Have faith in them and their precious bodies - it probably won't disappoint! Best wishes in this New Year - your resolution for your children this year can be "Dry for them in 2010!" :-)

Oh my. I've so been there (still there). My oldest boy wore pull-ups until he was 9. My second son wore pull-ups until he was 8 1/2 and my daughter is 7 (almost 8) and there is no end in sight at the moment. I tried everything, too. My kids were always upset they had to wear pull-ups. We used the medication described in one of the earlier posts and they would try to "hide" the pull-ups while at sleepovers. They never said they were made fun of or anything. With both my boys, we took them to a urologist to make sure there was no physical abnormality. Bladder issues run in my family, so I did not want my kids to go through what I did when I was younger. There was no physical problem and the urologist suggested the alarm. Now, my kids sleep REALLY heavily, which is part of the problem. I took a monitor to bed with me so that when I heard the alarm, I could go in to help wake them and tend to the wet underwear. Yes, the alarm only goes off after there's already wetness, so it doesn't keep them from wetting themselves. However, my oldest only used it for a couple nights before he started being dry in the morning. My second tried the alarm, but it quit working, so we never actually gave it a good try. He ended up just slowly becoming drier and drier at night until he no longer needed pull-ups. It's been explained to me that some kids just need to grow into their bladders-meaning they just take longer to fully gain control. I know it is so frusterating for you and the kids. Believe me, I know. My daughter gets upset at the fact she still needs the pull-ups, but just had a friend spend the night who also wears them at night. I know some suggest having the kids help you clean up wet sheets and such, but I think that can make the kids feel even worse. I tried that at first, but my kids were so sad about the situation, they felt like they had done something wrong, even though I explained that I wasn't mad or anything. I ended up only doing that once or twice. It broke my heart that they felt that way. If you've had them checked for physical problems, then it's just the way it is for right now. They just cannot help it. Eventually, they will become drier and drier at night and it will happen naturally. Of course, it does help to limit fluids in the evening and make sure they go right before bed, but aside from that, if they're not ready, they're not ready. I know this may not be what you want to hear, but at least you know that this is actually very common. If you're not willing to wait it out longer, then you could try the alarm. You could even let the oldest sleep on your floor or something, so that you could hear the alarm. We also would put the underwear on them, hook the alarm to them and put a pull-up over all of it, so that they didn't soak through their pj's and the bedding. Whatever you decide, know that you aren't alone and your kids already probably feel pretty crummy, so try to be encouraging and hopeful for them that it will end. Good luck to you and your kids!!!!

The alarm worked for my son in 2 nights and he has never wet the bed again. It was worth the money. Good luck

Take it from someone who was a wetter herself and is now the mother of one. This is not a potty training issue, this is a physical problem.

The problem with the bed alarms is that they only go off when the kid has already begun to wet, and unless your kids are extremely light sleepers this is not going to wake them up and get them to the bathroom in time. It may eventually train them to wake up and go to the bathroom at the same time every night, but unfortunately it will be about 10 minutes too late. The only benefit to the alarm is in letting you know when your child is most often wetting.

There are a couple of causes for bedwetting:

For some kids it's a small bladder. If that's the case you increase fluids, not decrease them, and have the kid practice holding it a little longer each time during the day to stretch the bladder and improve muscle control. Then you make them go several times leading up to bedtime to make sure the bladder is empty.

For some kids it is a deficiency in the hormone that causes everyone else to produce less urine when they are sleeping. If that is your child's problem then the only thing that will keep them dry is getting up several times a night to pee, which you can train them to do by getting them up on a schedule with an alarm clock. Let the alarm go off for a minute or so and then wake them up by shaking them or yanking the blanket off (however you do it in the morning) while the alarm is still ringing. Walk them to the bathroom and make them go then let them go back to bed. Start this about an hour after they fall asleep and do it every two or three hours, whatever interval it takes to keep them dry through the night. This is the one that worked for me when I finally got tired of wetting the bed at 11 years old, and I still wake up and go to the bathroom about every 3 hours during the night.

The last one is what happens with my daughter. Her bladder doesn't completely relax and release all of her urine when she goes, so as soon as she falls asleep and her body completely relaxes, she wets. This is in bed, in the car, or naptime at school when she was in preschool and kindergarten. For her I have to wake her up about half an hour after she falls asleep (a good bedtime routine that guarantees she'll be asleep at a decent hour is a must). Since she's sleepy and relaxed, she gets the last of it out and we're good for the rest of the night.

If you're worried about sleepovers, there is a medication called DDAVP. It is a synthetic version of the hormone I mentioned earlier that blocks the body from producing urine. Unlike the other medications available for bedwetting, it does not have a cumulative effect and once you've used it a few times and found the dosage that works for your child you can use it only when you need to. So you can do the wake up routine at home and when they want to stay over at someone's house you have the other parent stop liquids early and give them the medication at bedtime. They will not be able to produce new urine for 8-12 hours, and will stay dry. The only potential side effect is water toxicity, which is only likely if you use the medication frequently and do not restrict their fluid intake, since the meds stop them from peeing, and if they keep drinking that liquid builds up in the body. For occasional use this is not a huge concern though. This is what we do with my daughter on the rare occasions that she sleeps over with someone that isn't already aware of the bedtime wakeup routine.

A friend of mine struggled with this with one of her boys, and she was told to push water/fluids early in the day to basically strengthen his bladder. Not sure if that was the exact logic behind it, but it worked.

She didn't necessarily limit liquids at bedtime, but she really pushed them in the morning and early afternoon. My guess is that your older two are at school, but maybe you can push them to drink a full cup of something at breakfast and maybe carry a water bottle at school (if they're allowed to). Then, push fluids again right after school, and allow a normal amount at dinner.

This has worked with our 6-year-old, too, when she has reverted to bedwetting after being night-trained. We just start pushing daytime fluids again, and the night wetting stops.

Just something else to try that maybe you haven't already, and I also agree with the others about seeing a doctor again if it persists.

It's still a power struggle because they have all the power.

Let me ask a question: What's 'fun' about going to the bathroom? Is going to the bathroom more fun than playing or watching a movie? Is it more fun than spending time with friends?

Answer: There's absolutely NOTHING fun about going potty. It's a "necessary evil" like death and taxes. NOBODY "WANTS" to go potty - why do you think whenever somebody has to go to the bathroom, it's "I HAVE to go..." it's never, "I really want to go potty because it's the most fun thing ever!"

2 things:
1: Instill the "potty first" rule. No matter what they want, when they want it, what they want to do or when they want to do it...."potty first." Before doing ANYTHING (even going outside, before sitting at the dinner table, whatever), "potty first." If they start grumbling about "Why do you make us go to the bathroom all the time?" Tell them it's because they haven't shown they can make the right choice to do so on their own. When they do, then you'll stop.

2: Make them wear pull-ups at night, and the start letting them grow out of them. When I did this with my daughter, she started asking for "big girl panties" because the pull-ups were uncomfortable. I told her she could wear the "big girl panties" but that meant she was going to have to get up in the middle of the night and go potty like a big girl. She insisted on using our bathroom, and I told her I didn't care which bathroom she used, as long as she got up and went potty.

That combination worked like a charm for us, and for my sister.

For what it's worth, and good luck!

I would highly recommend the alarms--the kids sleep too deeply and it helps them to wake up. At first the child wakes up when the alarm goes off, but then a little miracle happens, and the child gets up and goes at the first beep, gradually not wetting the bed. Some of the other cures may be worth a try, but I heard from friends that the medications had side affects they would rather not deal with. It also helps the child's self esteem to be able to get control of this problem.

I tried the alarm on my son and he went from a good and happy child to this mean, nasty child because of the alarm. If it works on your child it is great but if after a few nights they are mean and nasty stop. My son still has problems and we have tried medication and it helped but he didn't like taking it. When he sleeps over at friends houses or at a camp he doesn't have a problem because he doesn't sleep as deep.

Please take your child to a urologist. My little brother wet the bed until early teen years. He was so ashamed. My mother tried everything,family doctor even counseling. A friend suggested a urologist. My brother went and never wet the bed again EVER!
He had test ran, spent the night in the hospital and took like an antibiotic for less than a week and the problem was solved.(if memory serves me right it was something with his prostrate which was unheard of for a male that young-)
My heart goes out to you, but more so for your son.(children)It is frustrating for the entire family.
Please schedule an appointment with a urologist as soon as possible. It will make all your lives so much easier (even if your child is a girl take her!)

If the older two are boys medication may be a vialble option. It was the only thing that worked with my 12 year old nephew, when he remembered to take it.

I wouldn't worry about it. I wet the bed until I was 10 1/2. Did you or their dad have a bed-wetting problem? It can be a genetic thing. We have told our son no sleep overs until he is consistently dry at night. I remember being extremely embarrassed about wetting at others' houses. Our pediatrician has told us that the alarms aren't very successful anyway, so we are just letting it run its course.