I have always been what my husband calls a "worrier." My worries have always run through a gamut of topics - money, my house, work, my daughter, all the usual stuff - but lately, they seem to be escalating.
A few times in the past couple of months, I have felt absolutely overwhelmed by my emotions, both physically and mentally. Once or twice, my arms and legs grew heavy and I was absolutely overcome with fatigue. More recently, I find myself worrying constantly about my daughter dying or befalling some terrible accident. I worry about myself dying and therefore being unable to see her grow up.
I read a few articles on worrying and found one that was particularly useful; it said to identify your worry, write out the worst case scenario, and then to journal how you would deal with that situation should it occur. It works wonderfully when my worry is specific and restricted to a single topic. Unfortunately, most of the time, I have more generalized worries that can't be pinpointed to a single problem. Other times, my worries are more of a what-if situation for the future that I cannot control, so the journaling doesn't really help there either.
I guess I am just looking for advice about how to deal with my anxiety. I am tired of being worried to the point that I forget to simply enjoy my daughter and my life. If others have dealt with this problem, what works best? Medication? Counseling? Other?
Look up Landmark Education and attend their Forum and in 3 days you will be fine. I use to worry quite a bit too and after 3 days I could breathe for once. It was an amazing experience of my life. www.landmarkeducation.com
EM
Hi Tamara,
I do this too. My dad says I've always been 'the worrier'. I've had to learn to let things go and that I can't control life's outcomes, whatever they may be. I use breathing to help me through things and to try to relax. My mom taught me this one. Slow steady breaths and if you can get some peace and quiet that helps too, not likely with a little one around.
I'm against drugs in general. President Lincoln dealt with constant depression his entire life and I think the key to what I just said was "dealt" with it. There are natural methods to lots of our problems.
Another little phrase I say to myself often is "Life today as if it were your last". If it were your last day you would not worrying about things, you'd be giving the people that you love hugs and you'd be enjoying a sunny day, etc.
And my mantra that I learned from my ex-husband who was in AA:
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference
Sometimes talking with friends is helpful. I'd be happy to listen if you need it. I believe you can send me a private message through mamasource.
Good Luck & you definitely aren't the only one on this :-)
T.
I too have suffered from anxiety before. TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR! It will help. I have taken the medication and seen counselors, they give you the tools to deal with life's worries. The medication will help with the symptoms (fatigue, depression, etc.) I pray that you will start to enjoy your daughter, and life again very soon.
It sounds like you have an anxiety disorder...but without proper diagnosis, you can't be sure. I think you should look into counseling. Even if they prescribe some sort of medication to help treat you, the therapy will do you good, for you may find some underlying anxiety which is increasing all the other ones. Being able to talk it out will help you as well. Good luck!
Hi Tamera my name is A. and I just wanted to let you know that you are not the only one. Your life and situation totally mimic mine. I feel bad I dont have some real advice, what I am writing for is I want you to let me know what kind of advice you get. I am all the way in the way in the same boat as you. Lets talk.
well I can truly relate I get soo bad some times that I can't even think straight and find myself staring off into space alot so I got online to look up things that might help. and what could cause this so I found that they say that a combo of drugs and counsiling is the best however I am not big on takeing drugs so I looked further and found that caffeine even in chocolate can increase you attacks so I stoped drinking anything other that water and I have not had any chocolate and I am feeling better so far. I also try to face my fears as much as possible in hopes that I can keep them from crippling me. good luck and remember if it gets to a point where you are not wanting to leave the house or drive your car it is time to see a dr. and get some drugs.
I suffered from anxiety as well. I took a nutrition test and I was very low in essential fatty acids and I also needed adrenal support. Being low in these areas are prime causes of anxiety.
I started taking Flax Oil pills (you can also get just the oil or grind the seeds yourself to put on cereal, etc.) And also an adrenal support tincture, which you can find at a health food store.
It has helped me SO much! I don't have the anxiety anymore. I hope maybe it could help you too!
(Oh, btw, these are all natural products, but if you are still nursing I'd ask your dr. just to be sure it was ok)
Hi Tamara, My name is S., and I'm a worrier. I have Acute Anxiety stemming from Post Traumatic Stress Dissorder. After some cognative therapy, I started to understand what my triggers were, and started learning to associate them with different things. I wore a rubber band around my wrist and snapped it when I realized I was in a panic.
At first, I would be deep into an attack before I realized it, but over time, I snapped my rubber band as soon as I saw a trigger. It wasn't painful, but it was just enough to snap me back to reality. I thought it was dumb, but my therapist told me to try it.
I was determined to beat it without the use of drugs, but eventually had to be put on something. Celexa worked the best for me, and I have been on them all to try and find one that was good.
Also, lying in bed was a horrible time for me, so I started doing soduko in bed until I was so tired I just clicked off my light and fell asleep.
It's all about recognizing your triggers.
Remember, you can ruin the present by worrying about the future.
As a child, I always had fears and worries that prevented me from trying new things and meeting new people. My grandmother and my mom both had terrible anxiety and fear, too. I think that it is a disorder and something that you can not just "think"away. In highschool it got much worse, and it seemed that the more busy and stressful my life got, the worse my anxiety got, too.
I tried medicines and one even made my anxiety worse...to the point where I had panic attacks and I truly felt as if something terribly bad were going to happen or I felt that I was dying. It was awful!
I tried counseling and it helped a little, but I still had anxious feelings that just didn't go away.
Then I heard about Lucinda Basset's program, Attacking Anxiety and Depression, and ordered her kit online. She teaches why I have those fearful thoughts and feelings and how it affects my body. For example, when I started to have a panic attack, I felt as if my throat was closing up, I couldn't breath, my chest felt tight and I thought I was having a heart attack, I felt dizzy, and like I was going to die. Of course having these bodily reactions to my thoughts and fears made me think the worst. That my fears were coming true! But I learned that when I panic, I take short quick breaths and don't breath properly, so I become dizzy, short of breath and disoriented. And my body pumps out adrenaline and this causes my heart to beat faster...basicly it was my thoughts that were causing these panic attacks.
Once I learned why I felt the way I did and techniques to change my thinking and behavior, my life changed dramaticly! I no longer get panic attacks and I don't have fear and anxiety like I used to. I'm more outgoing and have made so many new friends. Life is great now. And one thing I found is that not everyone can relate. So if your husband just doesn't understand, it's not that he doesn't care, maybe he's never felt the way we have before.
Her website is http://www.stresscenter.com/cts/21347954
Check it out! Hope it helps. Keep us updated.
A.
Being a parent is certainly not what I expected when I was a preschool teacher at the YMCA but it is just as rewarding as it could be. I'm 33 with three boys, three dads( long story bad choices wouldn't change a thing now) and the oldest is ADHD. Every week we have social classes, therapy appointments medication appt. and numerous sleep studies and so on. He was kicked out of 5 daycares before he stared school, I lost the only 5 jobs I've been fired from in that time(I always feel the need to interject that it was do to his hyperactivity I am so blessed that he is not violent) and I was terrified. I've done my best but it has taken a tole on my spirit and emotional well being. I too started having daydreams of accidents about my children or me and pretty soon my mind was so busy that I could barely concentrate long enough to hold a conversation. I was always second guessing everything everyone. Lutheran Community Services provide free or nearly free counceling for people who need it. I started in Sept and am a whole new person who can talk for hours and reach out to help others now. It is NOT christian based counceling so if you are not a christian its ok they aren't going to try to convert or say its cuz of the devil or anything. I am a christian and still fell really comfortable going there but can see why someone wouldn't look to a God they don't believe in. I would suggest you call.I have over come things I didn't know where in there. Good luck B. Rae
I have been going through the same thing this last year and then the last few weeks it has come even harder. I haven't been sleeping much then I worry how I am going to make it through the day etc. I finally decided to go to my doctor and tell him what was going on and he prescribed Zoloft. I was in a similar situation a few years ago and went on Zoloft then and it worked for me so I am trying it again now. Not that medication is always the amswer but I have tried everything else, so with that I hope you find your answers.
I think that each person has to deal with their anxiety their own way, but there are many ways to deal with them in a healthy manner. I would definitely speak to your doctor and possibly a therapist. There are medications out there that you can take all the time to prevent the anxiety, but there are also medications out there that you can take on an as need basis for those really bad days. You owe it to yourself and to your daughter to enjoy life and not always be stressed and anxious. Good luck to you.
A.
I use to stay up all night with worries about life. I read a book that helped me a lot. It talks about having control over your thoughts, a concept that seemed out of reach to me. After reading the book and doing the exercises in it I could change my worries to thoughts of perfection and happiness. It is called You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay. I would also suggest talking to your doctor and a counselor or therapist. I hope this helps and good luck.
let me just say anxiety sucks, but for some of us we have to deal with it on a much higher level than others. i have delt with it for years now and have found that a good support systm with my family, a good realationship with God, and some mediaction from my dr for the really bad times had helped me out more than anything else. at one point i was so bad i could not even go into public (i though everyeone was out to get me). you may have to go though some trial and error to find what works the best for you but when you do you just know that it works. hope this helps you some. if you have any quetions you can send me a letter and i can try to help.
