Consistent Dog-sitting

I can definitely understand where you are coming from. It isnt fair for other people to have to take care of the dog while she is in the hospital, but it isnt her fault either that she has to be hospitalized. Maybe she needs to have a designated person that you can hire to walk and take care of the dog while she is away. Maybe having the dog with her in her own house is nice company and comfort for her when she is sick. How does she feel about it? Maybe ask her what she thinks about giving the dog away to a loving family, because then the dog can be better taken care of.

C.,

That would be so cruel, I don't know how you could consider it. I hope your husband has more compassion for his mother's feelings then you do.

I wish for your husband's mother that there is someone in the family who is better suited to take care of her and her beloved pet.

If someone who is supposed to love me got rid of my pet while I was in the hospital, they might as well get RID of me too. I'm very sad for your husband's mother in the final days. I hope you are never in the same situation in your old age. Because sometime payback is a __ __ __ __ __!

Maybe the family could pitch in and pay for a kennel the next time mom gets sick.

Blessings...

I agree with the others. Don't get rid of the dog (or even suggest it). That dog is her immediate family.

I would suggest using www.care.com and post an ad looking for someone to provide care for the dog when your MIL goes into the hospital. It is a free website for people to find babysitters, tutors, personal care-givers, and dog sitters. Lay it out in the ad as to what you need. You may find a long term person who would also take the dog when your MIL passes away in the future. She would want someone who loves the dog to continue carrying for it. I'm sure you could find a bleeding heart out there who would be willing to take the dog here and there for a minimal fee.

I understand it sounds impractical to keep the dog, but it would be like someone suggesting to you to get rid of your kid because you have to leave him/her every so often to go to the hospital (or military?).

Even if she is a piece of work, you don't have to be. :) I hope this helps your situation.

Hi C.

Absolutely DO NOT get rid of the dog (and I am not an animal person). However, your MIL is older and lives, for the most part it sounds like, alone. Having a pet will extend your MIL's life. It will keep her active FAR LONGER than if you "get rid" of a pet who is a part of what she does every day. The pet probably brings your MIL happiness as she watches the life she used to have slip away.

That being said if it doesn't fit in with your life to help care for the dog.... then don't. You simply need to hire a dog sitter. Look in the yellow pages. Or put up a flyer at the Jr High or High School down the street. Let the dog sitter know that they will come over once a week or whatever while things are good and then if, or when, your MIL is unable the dog sitting will be "xyz" arrangement. Either look for someone who will come over twice a day or who will take the dog to their house until your MIL is well.

The dog is probably your MIL's companion. I would never get rid of her friend. While I sympathise and realize it's a big inconvenience, she's your MIL. You are family. That's what you're supposed to do, help each other when you are needed. Your MIL is old, let her live out the rest of her life with her buddy, the dog.
If you really don't want to watch the dog, and no one else in the family does either ( which I think is a crying shame), then put the dog into a kennel or find a dogsitter.
L.

You said that she is often tired and can't walk the dog? Would she go outside & walk at all if she didn't have the dog? Does she treat the dog well? If not, then by all means, tell her that she needs to find a loving, caring family to take the dog. Point out that the dog has many years left and deserves someone that can always walk him, exercise him & play with him. Let her know that when she gets sick & has to go into the hospital that it is unfair to the dog to be shuffled around? What if she has to go into a nursing home or an assisted living place that won't take the dog? That is all you can do outside of refusing to care for the dog the next time she becomes ill.

I have read several of the responses and I have a different take. First, a dog and a kid are NOT the same thing. I am a dog person who has kids and I'm sorry the dog isn't even close. Second, you need to talk to other family members. Does your husband have siblings? Can you rotate the care of the dog between family members? If you can't take the dog then you can't but have your husband tell her not you. The dog is not your responsibility it is hers. If she can't take care of the dog then she needs to love him/her enough to find a family who isn't ill. Also, a mid-size dog in an apartment is never a good thing. They need room to run.

"consistant" isn't every 2-3 months, it would be like every weekend. if she lives in an assisted living facility and they allow pets, maybe they might have some volunteers to take pets when the family members can't. i understand she may not be your favorite person but this seems to be a bit harsh. it seems like you are trying to get back at her for causing you pain and stress over the years. hopefully you can find something that will work out without having to get rid of her dog. good luck.

put yourself in her shoes. if you were 70 and falling apart, had been mean to ppl through out your life or even just missunderstood and all you had was a dog as your companion would you want your dil to come in and take the dog or even suggest it was a burden for everyone else? i say suck it up for the lady and treat her the way you will want to be treated. because your children are the ones that take care of you when your older and they are watching you actions as a guide for how you want to be treated. if you want your kids to be honest and tell you to get rid of the dog then take action. its alot easier to do nice things for nice people. but sometimes its nicer to do something kind for a mean person.

I know it's a pain, but this dog is probably very important to her.
It's important for her mental health to have a dog.

My parents live near a very old family friend. He has heart issues and partial blindness in both eyes. What gets him up every day and keeps him going is his dog. His wife died 6 yrs ago. He told my dad once, " if I didn't have my dog to take care of every day, I would not get out of bed. I would lay here and will myself to die."

My parents and some neighborhood kids help walk and take care of the dog when he is not feeling well or in the hospital. If her apt. is near a middle school or high school, find the NHS (Nat'l Honor Society) or NJHS sponsor and get referrals to reliable kids who need service hours!

p.s. Or find boys or girl scouts who can help. Both organizations have "pet care" badges that have to be earned by putting time in with an animal. If some kids don't have pets at home, they can't care for one & someone might really want to.

Your MIL will become worse if you get rid of her dog. If she has had this dog for a while, she needs it more than you might think.

Try to find someone who loves dogs to help with the walking and care of it. We have a dog and we have a couple families that beg us to let them watch our dog.

Maybe you can find someone who doesn't want the long-term care of a dog but would love to have one part-time. A young family perhaps? Check at your church or other organization. There are some awesome dog-lovers out there!

In addition to all the responses addressing the dog's needs and the mental health of your MIL, think about how much more time she would have to meddle and interfere if she didn't have the dog to focus on. She's getting and giving attention to it that she would have to spare in she didn't have it.

Put yourself in her shoes
@ 70 years old and having to rely on others at times is difficult eniugh for her - she is alone and that dog is her comfort when she is home and all alone.
Rather than bickering and being a grump about it - think about what you would hope your children and their significant others would hopefully do for you if you were in her shoes - despite the hardships it might cause them. - Why - because they would hopefully know how much it meant to you - and hopefully you are that important to them. Really - is it that hard to feed a dog in the morning when you get up - put the dog outside in fenced yard or on a runner or even walk for 20 minutes before you leave for work or whatever (and it you have a kid pay them $5 or $10 a week for doing this) and then again in the evening when you get home - you would be surprised how much love and appreciation you would get from the dog and from your MIL.
The love your MIL gets from her pet is what keeps her going every day - do you really want to take that from her?
Seriously - wear her shoes for a while - dig deep and think hard on it

Getting rid of the dog could send her into depression.
It is her companion. Probably very well loved.
Unless SHE herself has said she wants to get rid of the dog or give it away.., it is no one else's choice to do so.

But yes, it is a burden upon all the dog sitters.

Could, she or you, "rotate" among different relatives, and care for her dog? So it is not only you. Or the neighbors.
Do you have other relatives or siblings there, who will ALSO do this duty?

I understand many people do not like her and she is a not nice woman.
But still, would you want someone to get rid of your pet, without your input, just because they don't like you?

Don't take it out on the dog.
The other issue is: you and the others, even her own son, does not like her.
The Dog is an 'innocent' bystander to all of this.

Or maybe, is there ANYONE, who would like to adopt her dog? IF that is what SHE wants?

has anyone discussed this with her?

What about any potted plants she has at home? Who takes care of that when she is hospitalized?
Or what about her home bills/garbage/home upkeep, when she is hospitalized? Who takes care of that?

At least, she is in an assisted living home. With a health aide. Otherwise, you all would need to pony up for that too.