My son will be 3 next month, and is fully potty trained. For the past few nights, when we wake him to go potty, he wakes up and acts completely confused on what to do. It's the same thing every time, "Gus, wake up let's go potty" he stands up, sometimes he walks over to his t.v. sometimes he walks right past the bathroom and goes into our room. We get him into the bathroom, and any other time he knows the routine---lift both seats, pull your underwear down, do your business, close toilet, flush, undies up, go back to bed....he just has been standing there and whining the past few nights. and when we tell him what to do, he acts scared and confused. We didn't get on to him like he was in trouble, though it's starting to frustrate us, we talked to him, even asked him if he knew where he was, who we were, etc. I am not sure what could be causing this, or even what to do about it.
Any suggestions?
Okay, thanks for all the comments, to those of you that have wondered why we think he can do this on his own, he is highly advanced in so many ways, until we are not sure where we actually have to help him at times. He speaks better than most 5 year old children, he is at a kindergarten level developmentally, so this is where confusion sets in for us, and apparently him. Pull-ups sound wonderful, but he freaks out because they are like diapers to him. Last night we took him to the bathroom at 12:30, and he woke up dry this morning, but running to the bathroom, so for the most part leaving him alone is looking good. We already cut him off from drinking at about 6-6:30, so we know that does help. ANYWAY.....lol Thanks again for all of the suggestions!
Have you tried not waking him up. Maybe his sleep cycles are getting deeper since he is getting older.
He's still asleep. Or technically, 1/2 asleep.
When you ask him a question, and get the correct answer, his brain focuses for a moment and then goes right back to dreamland. If you were getting the wrong answer, you know you've just become a character in his dream. But he's not awake, in the conventional sense, in either situation. He's doing what he's told to do, but he's only doing it because he trusts you, not because he's INTENDING on doing it. When he's starting to cry and get upset he actually IS starting to wake up, and is disoriented and scared.
Just like if I sleep with my kiddo and he kicks me, he's not at fault... but if it's in the daytime and he's awake it is.
I caught my son at that age peeing in the recliner. when they are asleep or half a sleep like that I think they are dreaming an object is the toilet that isn't one night he peed in the trash can and one night in the bathtub. it will pass just gently guide him to where he is supposed to go and lift the seat and flush for him he will outgrow this.
he is STILL asleep. What if someone woke you up from a nice deep sleep... and then wanted you to act all alert and follow directions?
Not good timing.
keep in mind, night time 'dryness' takes until even 7 years old to attain. It is a BIOLOGICAL body maturity thing. Per Pediatricians. This is normal.
I would not wake him at night, just to pee. At this age, he is real young, to have night time bladder control. Just use night time diapers and a waterproof bed pad under him. That is what I do.
Its normal.
Day time pottying is a whole DIFFERENT thing from night time 'dryness.'
My daughter, was 5 years old, before she was dry at night, and then able to wake herself, on her own, to go pee at night, even if she was sleeping. Normal. This is per her Teachers as well.
Lack of sleep, from being woken up, is worse.
Don't scold/punish him... he is still so young, to be able to do that and keep dry at night. It is biological based.... the development of their nerves/bladder and brain.
all the best,
Susan
He's obviously still asleep. Aren't you confused and disoriented when woken up in the middle of a deep sleep?
Again...I know this isn't your question, but why are you going to the trouble of waking him up? It's perfectly normal for him to be fully day trained and still not be at night. If he can't hold it all night/or doesn't wake up on his own to go...really what's the point? Just my opinion...good luck!
I think he's still asleep.
If you get him up to go potty, carry him in, pull his pants down for him, hold him on the toilet til he pees or whatever, and carry him back to bed. Cover him back up and let him go back to sleep.
I am, and always was a dreamer, from the time I was very little. My son is the same way. I'll hear him talking in another room and go to check on him and he is sound asleep. He might even talk to me, but he has no memory of it in the morning.
I think your little one is still in dream world and he might be a hard sleeper.
I would just help him and get it over with as opposed to making sure he's completely awake and alert. That might lead to him having a harder time getting back to sleep.
He's fully potty trained and that's so awesome! But, if he's not really aware enough after you wake him up to go to the bathroom, just help him out with it. Give him a hug, tell him good job, and tuck him back in.
That's just my opinion.
Best wishes!
It sounds like you are waking him from a sound sleep. I'm guessing he is not fully awake. I would just guide him to the bathroom, pull down his pants and point him in the right direction. We did this with our 3 year old son when he was first potty-trained and it only lasted a few months - then he could stay dry all night. We knew he was ready for that when he didn't pee when we took him and/or he got up on his own to go pee. I'd just relax and help him out.
.
Quit waking him up.
best, k
use pull ups, over nighters. In the morning check how wet he is, if hes still consistently wet, I wouldn't wake him up to go pee...its a bladder control thing, it will come in time.
awe sounds like hes just maybe sleeping really sound and when woken up is a little off as to where he is and what hes suppose to do. My sons 11 and i still have to wake him to potty and he has no clue the next day that i woke him. lol
Hi S., you've gotten many answers already. But I agree he is in deep sleep. When I was potty training my son I cut all liquids 1 hour before bed and had him pee right before he went to bed. He;d wake up on his own if he needed to go at night. It never occurred to me to wake him. I would think that would mess with his sleep pattern and he'd be tired in the a.m. Do you really have to wake him? Maybe try to let him sleep through the night and put a rubber mattress cover under his sheets in case of an oops. he might actually pee the bed a couple of times as his body not his brain knows he has been getting up in the middle of the night to pee. Just think if you were awaken during your deep sleep would you know left from right? That part is normal, maybe you all could have uninterrupted sleep if you try not to wake him. Good luck
I agree that he doesn't come fully awake. He's still in the hold of his dreaming brain, even though his body is functioning. I have this happen sometimes myself, and even whine or moan on occasion, because everything in me so desperately wants to be sleeping.
Give your son more physical assistance, or try waking him a half hour sooner or later, because the brain has distinct, timed periods of about 1.5 hours during which it moves through different stages of sleeping and dreaming. Intercepting his cycle at a different point might help.
I'm also wondering whether he'd be able to sleep through without a nighttime pee. Have you tried this?
Put a diaper on him at night and leave him alone like I did with both my girls until they were 5. They were trained during the day right over 2! Their bodies and brains for holding all night were not ready until later. You possibly could be doing more damage then good from waking him during very important deep sleep. If you have to wake them, they are not ready. It should come automatically.
Many kids are hard sleepers and can get disoriented when awoken, not to mention waking your child every night like that could be detrimental to his health as sleep is an esential part of one's health. Have you tried NOT waking him up to go potty? My girls are 3 and 4 and I've never even thought about waking them while they're sleeping to go potty, but they have on few occasions awaken themselves because they have to go - that's different.
I think you should just let him sleep. If you're concerned about him wetting the bed, get a waterproof pad for the bed that goes on top of the sheet, so if there's a middle-of-the-night accident you'll have easy clean up - or put two sheets on the bed with the pad inbetween and if there's an accident, remove the top sheet and you have a clean, dry sheet undeerneath. Stop waking him up; that can't be good.
He's fully potty trained; but you are waking him up from a sound sleep to go potty?
My kiddo isn't potty-trained yet, so this is just a guess. He may be in a growth spurt, and sleeping harder then usual, so waking up in sleep stage 4 (instead of REM sleep or stage one or two) is disorienting to him. IF you always wake him around the same time, try moving it up or back by 20-25 minutes. Again, just a guess. Good luck!
My youngest is four. Sometimes when I wake up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night I will wake him up to and take him.
My four year old would walk right into the wall if I let him do it on his own.
I guide him and help him to the bathroom and back to bed.
I'm confused to why you think a two year old almost three year old can do this on their own.
I have three children and one on the way, trust me they are not wake enough to do this on their own until they get older.
My 10 and 8 year old can do it on their own now but they were not able to do this a few years ago. This takes time.
If you want him to get up and go pee in the middle of the night then help him so that he doesn't get hurt.
Or, put a pull up on him and just let him sleep.
Give him some time, he will grow out of this.
Sounds like he's asleep! It may be that you were able to wake him at this time in the past, because it happened to be between major sleep cycles. But developmentally, 3 year olds are growing their brains so fast!!! The most recent layer of brain growth is probably what enabled him to GET potty trained, but is also possibly causing his sleep cycles to change. Sounds like you are now waking him (or trying to) right in the middle of his REM sleep--and that isn't going to work. Haven't you ever had someone try to wake you when you were in the middle of deep sleep? You probably would be confused and completely unable to engage your conscious brain as well.
I congratulate you on the daytime potty training, but would encourage you, like Patty below, to just let him be at night for awhile. It will come back--he may even start waking himself. That would be real potty training!
My son will be 3 next month & he sleeps thru the night... he wakes himself up if he has to go to the bathroom... sleep may be what your child needs nore than a scheduled potty trip?
My guess is that your baby is in such a deep sleep he is sort of sleep walking. It's great that he is potty trained......but maybe some pullups at night for awhile?
As many have said, he's just very sleepy from being woken from a deep sleep. Instead of waking him, set up a routine for him to follow. Stop drinking (except maybe a small drink of water) an hour or two before bed, go potty rite before bed, then sleep. If he needs to get up let him get use to doing it on his own. Put in a night lite and explain to him that it is there in case he needs to go potty at night. Let him attain night time dryness at his own pace so his body and mind are ready for it. I have actually heard of bladder problems occurring later on down the road with some kids that were potty trained too early.
you are probably waking him when he is in the middle of a very deep sleep cycle. i have read many books about sleep and we cycle through rem and non-rem sleep. the non-rem sleep is so deep that sometimes it is impossible to wake someone from it!
i haven't potty trained my children yet so i don't know if it's common practice to wake them from sleep to go to the bathroom but it is not something i would do.
best of luck!
My son during the year he was 4, would wake up in the middle of the night crying. He was so hard to console because he wouldn't tell us what was wrong. We'd asked if he was hurt or scared, but he would just cry. So after so many times I told him that if he's not hurt or scared then I'm going back to bed and so is he. He'd fall asleep and everything is fine. Then sometimes he would pee. I think he was so confused in the middle of the night...it was like he was waiting for permission to pee or that he was so upset that he woke up.
Anyways, my suggestion is that possibly he's just tired.
Why do you wake him up?
Of course he is disoriented, he was just sleeping! If you keep waking him up, you'll get him in a routine that will just make him go during the night instead of learning to hold it till morning.
don't try to "wake" him up. take him out of bed, set him on his feet and walk him to the bathroom pull his pants down and say "pee" have a baby wipe for washing hands. walk him back to bed. we did this 3 times a night for a while and then 2 times a night and finally to the point where we didn't have to do it anymore. yayyyyy
we would do the whole bathroom, teeth brushing etc routine at bedtime. walked him in again at 10 when we went to bed. again at about 2 when i got up to use the bathroom and my hubby got him up at 530 when he went to work. dropped the 2am one first and then the 530 one and finally the 10pm one. a hassle i know but it worked for us.
Don´t wake him up. make him do pipi before going to bed and say to him "if you want to go to pee at night, wake up and go, or wake up and tell me; I will go with you." "remember, don´t do pipi when you are sleeping, you must wake up and call me and I´ll go with you to the bath room".......this goes strait to his subconcient and it really work! it did with my three kids! may be one or to times he will wake up in the midle of a pee but the third time never more, just remember him before going to sleep
good luck
Maybe try not waking him up to go potty. My son is 4 and sleeps all night without getting up to go potty. I am sure if I went in and woke him up to do it, he would get mad at me, act a little confused, but ultimately would have something to empty from his bladder. I just hope that he knows that if he wakes up and has to go, he'll call out for help. Good luck! I know accidents are no fun. Maybe try really limiting his fluid intake before bed and see how not waking him up goes. Have an extra set of sheets handy just in case.
We did this with our son also. But realize, he probably is not fully awake. I'd be willing to bet that if you ask him about it the following morning that he has absolutely NO CLUE what you are even talking about!
Our son was and still is a very deep sleeper. I just tried to keep the words to a minimum. I pretty much had to do everything for him, including pulling his shorts down, lifting the seat, pointing him, etc. I practically had to carry him in to the bathroom because I just couldn't wake him sufficiently for him to follow any directions whatsoever. However, once he had peed, he would flush, pull up his undies, rinse his hands, and almost run back to his room and climb into bed. He was practically back fully asleep before I could flip the bathroom light off and follow behind him to his room to be sure he had gotten into bed.
He is just not awake, he is not doing anything intentionally to confound or frustrate you. Recognize that, and you will be fine (and so will he :) )
