Concerned and Dont Know How to Say It.

As long as the child's height and weight are proportionate, there shouldn't be a concern, but 80 ounces of formula a day is WAY too much. I would think a MAX of 40 ounces a day (that would be five 8oz bottles).

Does she go to well baby appointments? Maybe ask her what her doctor says about her %ile.
If obisity runs in the familiy, your sister is definately setting your neice up for it as well by teaching to comfort by eating.
I am sort of at a loss on how to confront her, but good luck!

Yes I know its a delicate subject. I am a SAHM of a 3 yr old and soon 2 e 2 yr old. Both were Early and born at 71 1/2 mo and 8 mo and weighed 8.5 lbs. So they were big babies for there age, but I had the PG diabetis. I have watched what they ate since for I do not want them to have diabetis and so far they are ok. With my experience they comes a age were Formula is not enough for them. At 6 months they were showing signs of hungry. Some of the 1st Peditrition reccommeded was Infant Cereal. A box will g oalong way and you can add fruit to it or get one with fruit added. Or try the Baby 1st Fruit mine liked the Banana and Applsauce. You can register at www.gerber.com and they will send you coupons for baby food.

They would come every so often and I would watch the ads too. A few jars of food a day will make the formula last a little longer and we all know formula not cheap. A jar of Banana or carrots baby food is better than ice cream.

Dr Phil had a show last week on Big babies and there were 2 yr old couldnt crawl they were bewt 80-200 lbs and all were 4 and under.

If you care than talk to her.

Good luck

Well, my girlfriend's baby is 9mos and she weighs like 23lbs and was born 10lbs ... Her daughter just started eating baby food and otherwise does take a bottle. If you are concerned you might want to try suggesting by getting an introducing baby food book for her. There just comes a point where you just need to say ... I just want to know why you have chosen to not introduce baby food at this time? Did you read something about it, do you not want to pay the money or take the time to make your own ... can I help you with anything? It's really just not going to come across nicely no matter how you say it, good luck.

I WOULD SAY SOMETHING, MY SON IS 3 AND HE WEIGHS 33.4 POUNDS, YOU DEFINETLY DONT WANT THE BABY TO HAVE ANY HEALTH PROBLEMS FOR BEING OVER WEIGHT. IF YOU COME ACROSS CONCERNED AND NOT JUDGEMENTAL SHE WILL UNDERSTAND, YOURE HER SISTER AND SHE WILL SEE THAT YOU ARE JUST CONCERNED. GOOD LUCK!!

Although I realize that that seems huge for a baby and for some it is, my 8 month old is 24.5 pounds, but he is off the charts in his height, so he is just fine. I dont feed him that much formula, but my son was also very resistant to eating baby food, but has decided recently that he would eat table type foods. I would be checking for other things also, is she reaching her milestones, is she sleeping well, and does she want to do anything other than eat. 11.5 pounds at birth is a big baby, and so you have to take her own growth curve in to consideration, not what other children do. The big thing I have been told with all of my kids is that you want their height and weight to be close in percentage. So, if her height is in the 50%, and her weight is over the 95th%, be concerned, but if they are both it the 95%, give her time, by the time she is 18 months-2 years, it will balance out with all of the activity she will be doing!

My son was 10 lbs. at birth, but he evened out after awhile. He was always in the 40% of weight (and still is), but everyone still called him a chubby baby. It angered me!! Weight is an extremely sensitive issue with me.

If she is giving her too much formula and not enough healthy table food, then you should say something. Suggest that she give her water to supplement the milk and maybe put her daughter on a stricter eating schedule...and no snacks in between. She's setting her daughter up for failure later on in life if she is not able to teach her good eating habits.

Hi Y.,

One thing, are you and your sister close or no? This is the first step, also if she regularly takes her child into the Pediatrician's for check-ups and her Doctor hasn't said anything (which they should), then I wouldn't either. Unless you are very close, it is almost next to impossible to say anything to anyone about their kid. People are just so sensitive about their kids and what folks say about them. You could try the nutrional angle like some other folks have adviced, but risk the closeness of your relationship.

I've seen it time and time again, close, close friends lose friendship due to things that have been said about their child, even if it is true. This seems more of a doctor type of situation and it should be handled by one, but you could try.

Good Luck!

G. B.

PS...that is way too big for a child. My son was 7 lbs when he was born (4 1/2 weeks early due to my pg diabetes, and he was a big baby due to his appetite, but he was never considered over-weight at any of his check-ups...) He is a big boy now, 42 inches longs and weights 43 lbs...3 1/2 years old, he is very tall for his age...

Wow, that's a tough one. I can't imagine this would be normal for even a big baby, but you don't mention if your niece looks weight appropriate or not. Is she also tall for her age? (of course, the ice cream thing just doesn't seem like a good idea regardless of size..., but that's just my opinion)

When (if) you choose to bring it up, I would keep the focus on your niece and not on your sister. This will help to take away some of the defensiveness and sensitivity. For example (I'm going to use Susie for your niece because I don't know her name), instead of saying something like "Why haven't you chosen to feed Susie baby food?" Say, "I notice that Susie is not eating baby food yet. Does she not like it?" This way you can discuss Susie's eating habits, not her mom's feeding habits.

Then the conversation can progress to your sister, if she takes it there (for example, if her response is something like "oh it costs too much", then you can suggest ways that you could help her to afford it or to make her own, etc, etc... the "topic" will still be "Susie not eating baby food" and not "you're not feeding your daughter correctly" - does that make sense?)

Same thing with the formula - I would say something like, "Susie has such a big appetite! She really drinks a lot of formula. Neither of my kids would take that much. Does she like other drinks, too? Like water?"

If you're sister takes offense anyway, just explain that you are concerned about Susie and thought you might not be doing your job as a sister and aunt if you didn't offer to help out. Again... now the focus is on you not your sister. Try to avoid using any sentence that has the word "you" in it (it's actually a lot harder than I'm making it sound... I've tried this with my own very sensitive mom and when I can make it work, it works really well, but somethings are just hard to rephrase when you really want to say "what are you doing?!?")

Sorry that was so long-winded. I hope it helped.

I agree w/Paula completely, I am a VERY sensitive person and always have been ever since I was a little girl but I have gotten better throughout my years but to me if someone says "YOU" I feel like they are attacking me just try to put yourself in her shoes.

Just a thought maybe your niece has a big appetite because of her weighing what she did when she was born so that's why she feeds her more but 80 oz of formula in my opinion is a little too extreme and I also wouldn't give her icecream at any rate because of her age but especially because it has no nutritional value and she doesn't need it.

Do you know if she has talked to her pedi regarding your nieces weight and eating habits?

Good Luck and I hope and pray this helps.
M.

I just saw an episode of Dr Phil about overweight babies. A 6 mo old weighing 50 lbs and a 3 yr old weighing 150. 26 lbs at 8 months is nowhere NEAR that scale. My son is 8 months and 22 lbs,not far behind. He eats about 25 ounces of formula a day along with 2 packages of stage 1 babyfood. He is perfectly healthy. My only concern would be that she puts a bottle in his mouth everytime he opens hs mouth as that can lead to a very bad habit for both of them. Does she space out the bottles by at least 2 hrs? Perhaps you should bring up the Dr Phil episode and tell her that a mom who gave food to her baby every time he opened his mouth consequenced with a 150lb 3 yr old. The poor child could hardly walk,much less run or play!Don't say it in a preaching or condescending manner...say it matter of fact and that watching that episode made you think twice about what and when you feed YOUR baby. Hopefully,she'll get the hint.

Not all pediatricians will ask what you are feeding your kid. Or how often. So unless she has a very thourough one, I would just assume that she hasn't been told (or just isn't listening).

For one thing, the baby is old enough to start to eat regular baby food. Instead of bringing up the issue of weight, you could lean it towards nutrition and the excitment of growing babies into toddlers... say:

"My pedi told me that formula doesn't provide all of the baby's nutrituonal requirements by the age of 7 months, and here is a good starter meal plan and how to introduce baby foods. (Give her a basic meal plan and info on introducing baby foods). He also told me about anemia and babies that aren't eating enough healthy proteins together with vitamin C foods (for the absorption of iron) are more at risk for anemia. It sure is fun to see how our children progress in what they eat, pretty soon, she will be eating foods off of our plates, huh sister!!"

This way, you are taking the focus off of the weight b/c she will become defensive and won't listen to the more important issue, the baby's lack of nutrition.

This link, off of the best website ever, answers ALL of your questions in an easy format. Perhaps you can print the articles out (relatively short), and give your sister a mini 10 page easy to follow "book" on feeding and nutrition. Read it with her and talk about it together.

Instead of presenting it as a "I know better than you", present it as a loving gift from one mom who has already been through these experiances, to another who is just learning them.

http://www.babycenter.com/refcap/baby/babyfeeding/113.html

If she is over weight based kids her own age - -her pedi is likely to point it out to her as well. Most pedi's rank each child based on a percentage of those similar in age at each check-up, so you may not need to worry.