Concerned About My Neighbors Daughter

My niece is the same way. At one she didn't even fall on the charts for weight. She is now three and still only like 3%. She has been tested over and over. She is fine and healthy. We all come different.

I can't think of a nice way to put this other then BUTT OUT! My daughter is 13 months and weighs about 18 pounds. She is not underweight!!! She eats about 6 times a day and is VERY active. She has always been on the small side but on the other hand, she is healthy.
Put yourself in your neighbors shoes. How would you feel if someone told you that your child is underweight/overweight and they don't think you're feeding your child properly? You'd probably resent them for it. I should know. Since day one I've had complete strangers tell my that my daughter is too small. They don't take into account that I'm only 5'2 and weigh roughly 105.

Unless you have reason to believe the doctor is inept, I'd stay out of it. The fact that the parents are taking their daughter to the doctor's is a good sign. They are probably already aware their child is underweight and have been told if/when they should be concerned. Given what you said about her eating all of the time, I'm guessing intake isn't the problem. Nor is her diet. You'd be surprised what doctors will tell you to do as a parent. Our son got so small at one point he dropped off the growth chart for weight. Doctors are still working to determine why he isn't gaining more weight. For a while, we were advised NOT to offer him vegetables and fruits because they have less calories. At the same time, we were encouraged to add protein and calorie rich items to his diet like cheeses and milkshakes. We currently add half and half to his whole milk in a 50/50 ratio. Parents of underweight children, unless grossly negligent, are not only aware of their child's weight issues but actively working to correct them.

I see you have received a lot of advise and I haven't had a chance to read all of them. But, my daughter was barely the 5th % at 1 year and 2 years old, at 3 she finally was just under the 10%, now she is 3 1/2 and weighs 25 lbs.

The drs said to add butter her oatmeal and bread, try not to give her anything lowfat, basically fatten her up with good foods, like bread, pasta and mashed potatoes as well and other healthy choices, like fruits and veggies. She only put on one pound between 1 and 2 years old.

Something to consider is family history, I was smaller than she was and both my daughter and I were healthy 7 something babies. My daughter has caught up, but will never be a big child, she is lean and petite.

I understand your concern, but I am sure your friend hears comments from people all of the time about how small her child is. My daughter started talking a lot around 1 so people were amazed and would always remark on how small she was or ask her age. Finally, I would just say "I know she is small for her age".

As long as she is healthy and not sickly, toddlers will snack all day long and when they are small the drs say it's okay. If they were worried she would be going to a diet specialist.

Just be supporting if your friend asks for advise, but otherwise I would keep my comments to myself, you don't want her to think you are questioning her skills as a mother.

Good luck!

Our daughter has always been tiny (5 lbs. 14 oz. at birth - 3 days overdue) and it has been a struggle to get her to gain weight from day one. She was in the 5th percentile at birth and was down in the 1-3 percent range most of her life. At 1 she was 16 pounds and it wasn't until age 3 that she FINALLY made it back up to 5th % at 26 pounds. Her doctor and I were jumping for joy at that check up. We did every possible test - blood and urine - saw a nutritionist and we have had extra weight-check exams her entire life (and probably will until she's 5).

I know you are concerned, but if she is being monitored by a doctor regularly and is eating regularly, then it really is none of your business. As a mom of a LITTLE girl, let me tell you, people always point out how small your child is and think they can help. It's actually amazing to me, if she was super chubby, I don't think we would have gotten nearly the amount of feedback and "advise" from people - even strangers. I found that I was part of a secret club of moms-with-tiny-kids. Us moms get so much flack all the time that it was such a relief to find other moms in the same situation, we would instantly bond.

Also, I don't know what the little girl is eating, but you said you don't think it's the healthiest food. You'd be amazed what we're prescribed to feed our children and fatty foods are always on the top of the list: sour cream, butter, mayo, fried foods, ranch dressing, whole milk, etc. We'd be at a restaurant and we would get our daughter ranch dip or sour cream with her meal and she would start drinking it as a toddler. People would look at us like "what are you letting that child eat!?!?" Little did they know it's what she's supposed to have a lot of.

The other thing to keep in mind is that you don't know what all her other measurements are. If she's growing in height and her head is growing, then she's getting what she needs. Also, if she's active and hitting her milestones then there's also nothing to worry about with her development. (You need to worry if she's very tired and withdrawn all the time, however.) Plus, the growth charts that doctors use are completely out of date and are based on formula-fed babies of the 1970s (back when corn syrup was a main ingredient in formula). Most other countries go off of much more updated information than we do.

When our daughter turned 2, her doctor said that being underweight at 2 is much better than to be overweight (which is a real problem). Who knows, maybe this little girl is between growth spurts or maybe she's just petite like our little girl. I think it's nice you want to help, but it sounds like they are getting the medical help that they need. :-)

Sounds like you're not friends with your neighbors, but you are around them a considerable amount of time if you know that the baby is eating all the time. She may have already taken her daughter to the doctor and that is why she's got food available at all times. Maybe she can only eat in small amounts, and that's the reason for the grazing. Does the baby seem health in every other way? Is she walking or attempting to? Is she talking or beginning to? Are her teeth erupting? How's her hair? What's her skin color or feel? Some kids, regardless of the size of their parents, are small structured. You need to take everything else in to consideration, and just maybe their doctor has. You can ask how her last check-up went. If her birthday is coming up, talk about the big 1 yr old's physical at the dr's. There's shots and a full assessment that happens. If you're a friend, you should be able to express your concerns, but if you're just the neighbor your conversation may be seen as a nosey neighbor. Here's to a happy, healthy next-door toddler!!!

I know you are concerned. And I know that you do not have all the facts that pass between her doctor and that child, including medical histories. If it were an urgent issue, the doctor would have implemented a plan by now.
I am curious to know how you think you might be able to help her situation. I see you do not approve of your neighbor's food choices, but are you a nutritionist/doctor/specialist? I think it would be best for you to put your judgment of the neighbor's choices aside, and to respect her decisions that she makes for her own child even when they differ from what you might do.
Also, weight/age ratio is not the entire picture. How tall the child is, their genetic predisposition, and developmental cues are important factors in deciding if the child is truly underweight.

Have you talked to your friend about what the doctor has said? My daughter only weighed about 18 pounds at one year, but I am a very small person too, so there wasn't really a worry about my daughter. Alot of my friends that have unusually small kids have fed them a lot of avocado, pedisure and foods that are high fat and high nutrient.

Has your friends doctor suggest any type of endocrine or hormone tests? I think that you can show concern during a conversation with your friend without coming across too "nosy or pushy" and then you would be able to help her trouble shoot her daughters weight. You just want to be sure to be empathic and be careful not to come across as judgemental regarding the current food choices that are being made for your neighbors daughter.
Good luck,
T.

S., you sound like a wonderful friend--- . Do you have children?? --- Any chance you could drag out baby pictures of your treasures when they were the age of the neighbor - baby??? --- You could take some pictures over and say''' does your doctor seem to be worried about her weight?" - You could suggest that Children's Hospital is an incredibly family-friendly place to get to the root of what is happeneing with lots of consumption but no weight gain---.

I'll pray she listens to you- ( Childrens' has clinics all over that might be a good place to start--- )

She's lucky to have you as a neighbor.

AND don't be surprised if her first reaction is defensive-- young Moms' hate to feel that they are not perfect- where as us long time Moms KNOW we're not - and have made our peace with that --

well--- all except you and me - we ARE perfect

( yes, I'm laughing)

Blessings,
Old Mom
aka- J.

Every child is different and I'm sure her weight is normal and healthy. Unless the child seems unhappy, there's most likely nothing wrong with her weight gain. My son was under 19 pounds when he was a year old and I'm average size and his dad is a big guy. Some babies just have a higher metabolisms. Not all babies need to be chunky to be healthy. Your neighbor may be near the zero percentile in weight but as long as it doesn't drop below the zero percentile, it's still a normal weight. Speaking from experience, it's very frustrating to have others tell you that you should worry about your child's weight when the child is happy, extremely healthy, and off the charts in all aspects except weight. If the child seems very unhappy, then you have reason to be concerned.

Many children run small. My daughter is 2 and a half and barely weighs 28 lbs. She eats all day and eaats very healthy. She can eat a full 4-5 oz portion of salmon, 3/4 cup of brown rice and several stalks of asparagus in one sitting and then immediately ask for fruit for dessert and eat an entire apple, pear, peach etc.

The doctor is watching this little girl. My doctor was slightly concerned with my daughter's progress, but the key was that she eats very healthy, plenty of food with lots of color and variety. She is highly active, has positive head growth, meets all of the developmental markers way ahead of schedule and is very bright. She is very coordinated and loves to run, swim, dance, etc.

So maybe this little girl is just extremely active. The parents may appear large, but their underlying frames may be petite. And many parents may eat poorly or not exercise, but feed their children really well hoping to have them grow up healthier. This will change for their daughter if it is indeed the case because food and diet is a learned behavior as much as it is taught and she may very well start tipping the scales in the opposite direction when she gets older.

I am sure the mother would appreciate your concern, but at the same time bringing up the subject most likely will put her on the defensive because you are essentially going to come across as accussing the parents of neglect. There is no way to go about it without inferring as such. Maybe more will be shared in future discussions enlightening you. Or maybe you will see how well or bad the child eats when sharing a meal with them. But even then, unless they are feeding her complete junk or she doesn't eat hardly at all, it wouldn't be appropriate to make a comment unless the parents bring up the subject.

You could offer her healthy treats and food with the mother's permission. Perhaps by saying you prepared a snack and offer to invite them to join you. If they are too poor to eat well or very much, it would be appreciated and it's a little something you could do for the child since you seem to be genuinely concerned about her health. But if they decline, there is nothing else you can do. I think the parents are doing well by watching her, feeding her, and having a doctor do well body check-ups.

I bet her daughter is like many children and just very petite. I often look at my daughter and am amazed at how skinny she is, especially when laying down and she stretches her body. Her waist is very narrow and she has such a long lean frame. But there is a lot of muscle and she simply grew out of the baby fat very quickly. These are subtle things a mother would see but you would not.

I don't know the whole situation, obviously, but 18 pounds does not seem severely underweight to me for a one year old. My son was only 19.5 at a year (and yes, a pound and a half is a lot I guess when the overall body size is so small), but he is just fine 2 years later (just as he was at the time). People come in different sizes and shapes - weight should not, in my opinion, be the issue that you are emphasizing. If there is a nutritional problem, that is probably something that the doctor should have talked to them about - you can ask what her favorite meals are, and suggest ways that they might be able to improve these...I am not sure how close you are with them, but I would not do anything that would jeopardize a friendship with them...

S. Its good that you care & if you talk to your neighbor you may find she needs a friend like you & you may be able to help but until you talk to her you won't know for sure just what you can do freinds are the heart of all good things & you sound like a person that any one would like to have for a freind, the worst thing that can happen is she may tell you all is fine & its under a doctors care? just ask her you may be surprised ok.
A careing Mom & Granma;J.

Well my son is almost 18 months and weighs 19 pounds! How's that one throw ya?

I understand that you may be worried but as long as the child is taken care of and is eating it doesn't seem like it is something that should be brought up. Of course I am viewing it from the parent side of a very small child. My son is 2.5 and only weighs 26lbs. He is in the 11th percentile for both his weight and height. There was a time that four months went by and he hadn't gained more then a pound. We wound up going to nutritionists, endocrinoligists, and an allergist. All of them had test results come back showing no abnormalities, and they just came up with he is small for his age. Of course as a mom I usually feel very sensitive when people bring up how small he is. I know nothing is wrong with my son, but when others bring up his size I feel guilty that he isn't as big as the other kids.
If your friend is worried about it I am sure at some point she would mention it to you. Otherwise just leave it alone.

I understand your concern if this child is eating properly. One of my children was very small as an infant/toddler. She too didn't weigh 20pds at a yr. Today she is 14yrs old and very healthy, though she is still skiny and short. Her dr never expressed concern , but her growth was pretty consistnant,slow but consistant. She ate like a horse and just didnt put on much weight.
How close are you to your neighbor? ASk her what the childs doctor thinks, or posibly volunteer to go to the childs next appointment.I definitely see your concer, but it may be just theway she is too. A suggestion, make the little one a sandwich ad put butter in it ( no matter what kind of sandwich) the next time she is overor to just be neighborly when you see him/her out playing. WIC suggested butter in sandwiches with my daughter to help get some weight on her.
I wish you the best of luck, and hope you can handle this delicate matter!

My daughter is turned 4 in january and weighs only 30lbs..she has been tiny from birth and she too has been to the dr and to all the wic appts and they all agree that she is just small. She eats alot but is active. I dont think there is anything to worry about children grow at their own pace they are all different. My youngest is 18mo and weighs 24lbs (almost as much as sissy) didnt gain but a lb in the last 3 mo but she got thinner as she went from the 10% for height to the 50% for height in just 3 short months. so I know how different children can be. Alyssa (my oldest) is perfectly healthy but is petite and probably always will be.

Did the doctor give her suggestions? I would think if the baby was truly underweight the doc would be a lot more concerned. What do you think the problem is exactly?
I have to add that my son is 15 months old and is barely 20lbs-he has only gained about 2.5lbs since he was 9 months old. We can't get him to eat very much at all, but he does still breast feed all the time. He is, and has been VERY picky from the beginning (won't eat anything mushy-no baby food for him, won't even taste food before throwing it on the floor etc.). We can't force him to eat when he doesn't want to, so even if someone tried to "help" by giving me suggestions or advice, it would just be a moot point. He is also one of the most active babies in our group (and one of the most active babies I've ever met), walked at 10 months and is ALWAYS on the move! The kid hardly ever sits still (you'd think mama would be skinnier! :)). Our doc was not concerned when she observed him running around the office and all of his other stats/milestones checked out. ;)

My oldest daughter is seven is is 40 lbs right now. When she was 6 months old she weighed 14 lbs and then when she hit a year old she was 16 lbs. We had to go in for weight checks a couple times but the doctor eventually said that everything else was looking good so he wasn't worried about her weight anymore. I had even called my mom to find out how big I was at her age. I had actually been an inch taller and a pond less than what my daughter was. Once the doctor heard that he stopped worrying. He said that likely she was just falling into the pattern that she would grow at.

I have to agree with the others. Not only will you alienate the other woman by telling her how to parent her child, but you will inadvertantly tell her that the way she eats isn't ok. You may not agree with her food choices, but they are hers to make. I have a vegetarian friend who doesn't lecture me about my ravenous tendencies towards meat and I leave alone the veggie talk.

My almost three year old just barely reached 30 lbs. recently. At a year she wasn't even 20 lbs. yet. She's tiny and is a black hole. If it is edible she'll consume it. I have a strict eating schedule and snacks are fruit and such. She's just small. That's why there's a percentile chart. My son is so heavy for his height, but extremely muscled. All kids are different.

Bottom line is that if the child appears healthy and outgoing and not abused then it's not your concern. Weight is a number.

It is OK to be concerned but I wouldn't talk to your neighbor about it all. First they already know. I know lots of kids who run small and I assure you it is a major concern for their parents it is super stressful and everything and every painful for them to deal with. And yes I know lots of kids and their parents are big people.

Kids come in all shapes and sizes - and grow at very different rates. Anyway - quite a few of my friends have the small not weighting a lot kids - and they are so concerned and it is so much apart of their day.

Believe me if the doctor has already pointed it out - they are already aware of the problem.

If you want to provide health snacks - invite the family over have a cooking day and make some goodies.

The first thing I would check is celiac disease. If the child is gluten intolerant (can't have wheat), what will happen is the celia gets stripped out of the intestines, and the child is no longer able to absorb her food. This happened to my youngest daughter.

Then, if that doesn't pan out, have her checked for other food allergies, that may be ruining her digestion.

Some kids are just smaller than others. Neither of my kids were 20 lbs. by the time they were one. It has a lot to do with genetics. My son is 5 1/2 and just hit 35 lbs fully dressed (he's in the 10th/15th% for height and weight and my hubby and I are average/above average for height). Maybe this child will have a groth spurt later. The doctor will work with the parents if he/she thinks there is a problem.

I think it is wonderful that you care so much, I wish there were more people out there like you but I really don't think you should be concerned about her weight unless she appears sick, lethargic, or overall has low energy. If she is playing well and meeting all of the other development milestones she probably is just fine. Just a little info about my three girls, my oldest was 17 lbs at 1, my middle was just 15 lbs at 1, and my youngest was 16 lbs at 1. My youngest was weighed last week at 23 lbs and she is 27 months old. All three of my girls are skinny, but very healthy, they eat a lot but never put on a lot of weight. I am not a small person and my husband is tall and average size, so at first our doctors were concerned but after they realized that they were all on their own curve and growing we have never had anymore problems. You are being a wonderful friend and if you truly in your heart think something is wrong then I would just pray about it and see where God leads you. If you saw my girls you would have probably had the same concerns, just realize that as long as she is being seen by a doctor she probably will be just fine. Hope you have a wonderful day.

my daughter was the same way. she's always been small for her age, even though she (in the past) has had a big appetite. for the longest time, i got nagged at by WIC for her weight (was she a preemie? do you feed her?) but the thing is, she was perfectly healthy. i don't think she hit 20 pounds until she was probably 18 months. even now, i have a problem getting her to gain weight. she's nearly 4, weighs 32 pounds, and is 41 inches tall. in fact, since she turned 3 in march, she's only gained a pound.
the fact of the matter is, some kids are just small. if she's eating, it's not something to be concerned about. i understand your concern, but as much as you would like to help it isn't up to you. if her doctor is truly concerned about the fact that she is underweight, then he will take the steps to discuss it with your friend.

If you think she is eating unhealthy it's one thing. But don't be worried just because she is light. Many kids don't weigh over 20 lbs by 1 yr. They may always be small.
If the parents are taking good care of her then there isn't much you can do other than polite suggestions or if she comes over to your house to play make sure there are healthy snacks available.

I understand that you are concerned and that you want to be a good friend. It may just be that your friends daughter is a slow weight gainer. My youngest daughter is a very slow weight gainer. When she was a baby, she was always at the very low end of the weight scale on the growth charts. She ate well, and was healthy, just tiny. To this day she is still very tiny. She is like her dad, who has a very quick metabolism and is very tiny. It could just be that she takes after someone in the family and will always be kind of small weight wise. If she healthy, other than being a little underweight, then there is probably nothing to worry about.

I wouldn't be to concerned. My daughter is 4 and 24lbs. I get every comment in the book. She is also a twin and is 3 inches shorter than her twin. She has celiac disease and severe allergies. She also takes after her fathers side. They are very tiny. In fact my sister in law can still fit into little girls clothes. The only thing that was offered was Human Growth Hormone which I would never do to my child. Kids also grow at a different pace. Not every kid is the same and grows the same. Plus if the doctor was that concerned about her weight he or she would step in. I think unless you see other signs that make you think the child is being abused I wouldn't say anything.

I don't remember what my daughter weighed at 1 year, nor even at 2 (she's 27 mo now), but she's small. I used to worry about it, but my pediatrician kept saying, "She's perfectly healthy" so finally I started believing him. When I moved my new pediatrician didn't seem too worried about it, saying as long as she was following her own curve, everything was fine. Of course, if the doctor suspects something like celiac disease, he should test for it. But my mom knew a family whose daughter had celiac spru and her legs and arms were skinny and her belly fat, like a starving kid in Africa. It's a sign of malnutrition. Assuming she's well proportioned, I wouldn't worry about it.

I remember that as a kid I could put away an enormous amount of food--about twice what I can stuff into myself now when I'm pregnant or nursing! And I was always slender. When I quit growing, I started to put on pounds, until after about 25 extra pounds I realized it was time to do something about it. I lost the extra weight and was my ideal on my wedding day. Anyhow, my point is, if she's healthy, and as others have said if she's making milestones just fine, don't worry about it. My daughter is with or ahead of nearly every milestone, and as healthy and active as any toddler her age, so I don't worry about it.

Well, sounds like she in under a pediatricians care, her parents and her doctor are keeping an eye on her weight and you do not write that she is not developing properly in any other way...
If your goal is being a good friend, I would suggest just be supportive and help her deal with the unwanted attention she may get for her daughter's weight.
Some children are just lean (so is my daughter) and gain weight slowly. If she receives proper nutrition - and you say she is offered food and eats a lot - there may be nothing wrong with her!

Some kids and just small. If the baby appears healthy and happy, let it be. If you must mention something, make the mention in a general, non-offensive approach and let it be. Perhaps invite her to a mom's group or suggest playdates where you can cook lunch together. Perhaps she just doesn't know the nutritional needs of a young child. If things are extreme and the child is sickly and you feel compelled to do something, contact CPS.

I think it is very sweet that you are so concerned, however I am wondering what you thinking talking to her about it will do? I mean, she already knows, so it's not as if you are going to be bringing something to her attention that she isn't aware of. I think that if the child is healthy, then that is how her body is. Not all children are rolly polly with extra stores of cute baby fat. It might sound alarming that her daughter is underweight, but some kids just are.

My daughter, for example was in the first percentile in all categories until she was 2 1/2. Now, she resides at about 10th for weight. She will turn 5 next month and weighs 27 lbs. However, she is completely healthy and eats well.

In the future, if she brings up the weight issue, you might ask her if the doctor has inquired about her diet and see what she says. You might then be able to give food ideas that could be beneficial, but I think that would be the only circumstance in which she might not become hurt or offended by what you might want to say. Good luck!

For what its worth, my daughter weighed less than that at one year and was perfectly healthy.

The fact that her parents are not small may have nothing to do with it, that could simply be because of their habits. Genetically they may be predisposed to be smaller, but aren't because they don't eat well or exercise. My kids are actually big for their age, but a friend of mine's daughter was only 18 lbs when she turned one. One of the kids in my 4yr old sons swimming class is 6 yrs old and the same size as my son, her sister is 4 and the same size as my 2 1/2 year old. My kids half brother is almost 3 and still can fit into some 18 month clothes. Some kids are just small, if she eats well and there is no concern about neglect, then I would just leave it up to the doctor. As you said, he is aware of the situation and I'm sure if he feels there is a health issue involved, he will investigate, she may be small, but as long as she feels and acts normal, I wouldn't worry too much.

My son weighed 18 pounds at 1 year and now he weighs 32 and is almost five. He eats like a horse, well balanced meals, sometimes out eating both his father and I in servings. He just metabolizes his food like we all wish we could.
Both of his pediatricians before his current one would not listen to me that his weight is genetic, his dad and I aren't SUPER skinny we are quite average, it comes from a mix of our genes. He was in a feeding clinic for the first year, didn't spit up his food or refuse it, he is just skinny. You mention that she has a pediatrician, if her weight becomes a concern for her health I'm sure the doctor will take a more aggressive approach to ensuring her weight gain.
If you are going to talk to your neighbor about anything I would make non judgmental suggestions on the quality of her daughters diet not her weight. Believe me, it gets so annoying to here someone tell me my son is skinny and I generally tune those people out. Some kids are just small.

I tend to agree with the previous response to stay out of the situation. 18 lbs. at a year old doesn't mean underweight; there's a reason the forward-facing car seat guidelines specify 20 lbs. AND 1 year...because not all 1 year-olds weigh 20 lbs. If your neighbor is feeding her and has taken the child for regular well visits with the doctor, then I'd trust she's fine, though maybe smaller than you expect her to be. Children grow at their own pace, starting from birth, and should not be expected to be the same weight or height of other children the same age.

I am only going to totally second all of the posts on here already. I struggled with this same issue with my daughter. She was born at a relatively "normal" weight at just under 7 lbs. but we have constantly stuggled with her gaining weight. When she was a year I think she was still under 14 lbs. She was healthy and happy and strong and right on developmentally she was just "under weight". After a second year riddled with illnesses (a string of ear infections and hand foot and mouth desease) she had actually lost about 3 lbs. I finally resorted to giving her half&half in her sippy instead of whole and would add "healthy" oils to her cereal and yogurt and whatever she wouldn't notice it in. That finally has, by 2.5 yrs. brought her to just under 30 lbs.

So, listen to your instincts. But don't look JUST at her weight. Some babies are just thin.

How tall is she? Is she active, or really active?

My daughter was less than 13 lbs at 6 mons, and less than that at a year, shorter that most, thin and tough! and ate more that most when she was around me. She didn't eat when she was around others--only me. But eat she did--vegetables, meat, grains-anything offered to her. She was very, very active. On the move all the time. The only time she was still was when she slept or when she had bronchitis once.

So this child may just be active--very. Observe her activity level.

Then look at what she is eating, is she eating healthy food from a wide variety of groups.

If all these things are satisfied--accept that the child is progressing normally. If you feel that the child is not gaining weight normally do some research about what would cause lake of weight gain and share that info with your friend in a non-judgemental way--then back off if you value your friendship.

If you still feel that the child is being abused by starvation through lack of knowledge you need to talk to her directly, but be prepared to loose the friendship.

You need to do what you can do and then let go, step back, and realize that you have done what you could do.

My daughter had low weight issues as well. If the pediatrician is giving them any suggestions and they are ignoring them, then it's your place to look out for the child. However, if they are following their pediatricians advice, leave them alone. If the pediatrician sucks, then ask if they would like a recommendation for a second opinion. Neither my husband or I is petite in any way, but our daughter is tall and skinny. It's just her body type and she eats quite well. Sometimes the best help is being supportive.

I like Tracey's response to your question. i agree 100% as I too am small and have small children that don't grow too fast, so I understand what your neighbor is going through. I would just listen to her and not worry too much about her daughter as long as the child is eating. I'm sure she is getting the nutrients that she needs and if not, her Pediatrician will be alarmed.

Just be a good neighbor and try not to judge as much. CHildren come in all sizes and some just have to play catch up at different ages.

Kim B.