Concerned - Tiffin,OH

My son was 4 when he was potty trained. Since he was older it was easier than I imagined but he continues to have accidents occasionally at night and he is 11 now. I try not to make a big deal about it because it could be do to the way he is growing and he is a good kid. They offered us medicine but I hate the thought of giving him medicine. I am just hoping he will outgrow it some time. I would definitely stop fluids after 6. I would rule out anything medical too. Start with the doctor and start denying him water at a certain hour. If that doesn't work try waking him up at a certain time during ther night to take him to the bathroom. Boys are slower at potty training than girls. Boys are also motivated differently than girls. Girls like to please everyone; boys don't care about that. They are short term and what's in it for them. SO good luck to you. Hopefully it is something simple to correct.

I'd have him checked for a bladder infection, but it can be totally normal. As kids grow and drink more, their bladders don't always grow at the same rate. Are you waking him to pee at night? I wake my son at 11 when we go to bed and take him to pee. Then at 6 when my husband gets up he gets him up again. He goes right back to sleep when he's done, in fact he's hardly awake on the pot and kind of sways around with his eyes closed! lol

B.,

My boy is 4 yrs old... we are having issues with potty training him. Like you said he doesn't care... we tried stickers, candy, cars and other prizes. Was told by doc to start neg inforcement... even that didn't help. Didn't matter what we did, that is till our new grade school was almost complete... we told him his sister 5 yr would be going to the new building we watched be build soon & till he can go potty in the big potty he can't go to it. He is now trying to use the potty. We are still using pull-ups at night, but we have made more procress in the last month then the last year.

With my daughter, she potty trained around 3 1/2, but used pull-ups at night till she was about 4 1/2 when she stopped wetting them at night for at least a week. My son has the same rule on the night time pull-ups. I know somepeople say to get ride of them all together, but I don't have pads for the beds and they are cloth matters they are laying on... personally I wouldn't want to lay on a pee soaked bed weather dry or wet, so I won't make my kids.

One question... when did the issues start with your boy? I see you have a 5 month old... is this something that started around the time you had the baby? Sometimes little ones use the potty issues as a way of acting out when things change. And a 5 mo old takes a lot of attention. But if you can't think of a reason... go see a doc about it - it could be a bladder issue.

Good luck!!!

i think diapers at bedtime are pretty normal still at his age, unfortunately. if i knew the secret my 5 year old would be night trained by now....

you don't have as much time/attention to devote to him as you used to with a new baby , that could account for the accidents if it happens while you are caring for baby. also kids tend to regress with new siblings.

give him cranberry juice (not cocktail, the real stuff) and that will help if it is a uti. if it's not a uti it could be diabetes... so you shouldn't just dismiss it if it continues...

it could be that he doesn't completely empty his bladder when he goes, since he wets so recently after going. so maybe you can encourage him to really push it all out.

just my thoughts...

good luck.

We noticed this with my oldest daughter too.

Just a question to start: how much fun is it to go potty? Is it more fun than coloring? Is it more fun than watching a movie? Really, to a kid, there's nothing fun about it. It's an uncontrollable burden to have to go potty and not want to take the time to do it - because there's nothing fun about it.

Plus most people will tell you that when you're potty training to set the clock for 20-30 minutes apart and have them go potty - so pottying at that rate wouldn't worry me.

What we ended up doing was quit buying the pull-ups in the bigger sizes, and let her "outgrow" the size she was in. She then started complaining that the pull-ups were uncomfortable and wanted to wear "big girl panties". We told her, "Okay, but that means if you wake up in the night and have to go potty that you have to actually get up and go potty." She complained, "I USE YOUR POTTY!" I told her I didn't care which potty she used as long as she got up to go potty. That worked.

Part of it could be that he sleeps so soundly that the "urge" isn't enough to wake him up. If that's it, then you'll probably need to set the alarm for some point during the night, go wake him up and tell him to go potty. Do that for awhile, and you'll "train him" to get up at that point and go in and go potty.

You might also make sure that he isn't drinking or eating anything at least an hour before bedtime, and make sure he goes potty before going to bed too.

Just a few thoughts, for what it's worth.

Wetting the bed while sleeping is not uncommon. After all he is unconscious. It fact little boys usually take longer to get over bed wetting, it's usually a simple fact of small bladder getting too full or you have a heavy sleeper.

Try not to push him, move him over to training pants for sleep, that way you can see if he wakes up dry or not. When and if he wakes dry make a huge deal out of it, but simply brush off it off if he wakes wet. You can even stop letting have things to drink about an hour before bed and make him potty before bed too, that should help limit the amount of wetness.

My little girl usually goes every 30 mins or so, remember they do have tiny bladders so it shouldn't be a problem that he's going so much. If you're still worried then there's no harm in going to see his doctor.

Good luck.

My son is 6 years old and still wears a pull up to bed...and still soaks his pull up pretty much nightly.
I don't think the night time problems are the major concern here. Our pedi. said not to night train, that when he was ready he would do it. She told me that waking him at night could lead to night time sleep walking, and lead to very poor sleep habits/sleep patterns.
I would be more concerned about the daytime wetting paints and the amount of times he has to go. Is he suddenly drinking more also? If so, I would definilty contact the pedi. I would put a call in just in case to check for any other health problems.
It could be an issue with the new 5 month old being at home, emotional adjustment. Sometimes peeing accidents, even stooling ones, are the way to get mental issues out (anxiety or jealousy or what not)
My thought was not that immediately but I recently talked to someone at work about her son and his wetting habits. Her son had suddenly started peeing VERY often and was drinking a lot more than usual. She went to the doc. and he was diagnosised with type 1 diabetes. Really this is on my mind because we were JUST talking about it the last time I worked.

If he's been going since he was 2 1/2, sounds like an emotional/attention issue to me. What has been going on in your household? Any issues that might cause him to feel insecure? Have you had to spend more time w/ the 5 month old as a result of illness, etc?

Try making time DAILY JUST for the two of you. Make sure you talk about how big he is, how proud you are of him, what a great big brother he is, etc. See if that doesn't take care of it.

Let him HELP you w/ the 5 month old, when you can. Give him a sense of being important enough to help and be involved. This may help him see the need to be a big brother and show that in several ways, INCLUDING not having to wear diapers.

take your son to see his doctor because it sounds like something is wrong. If you do take him and you dont agree with what the doctor says, keep asking.

I think the first thing you should do is throw out ALL pull ups. He is old enough, with a few restrictions, to not have to wear diapers. When I potty trained my boy, he was 3 months shy of being 3, and within 3 weeks of being potty trained (which took about 4 days), he was out of all diapers, even at night and bedtime. The trick is to cut off all liquids at a certain time. For my son, his bedtime was 8, so at 7 I would tell him to take his last drink of the night. If he asked for a drink later, I would say "no, I'm sorry, you already had your last drink of the night" and he was fine, it's not like a child will die of thirst when they just had a drink less than an hour beforehand. I took him potty right before naptime/bedtime, and waited until he went, which after a few times, they can pretty much go right away, and then also right when he first woke up we went straight to the bathroom.

I think what's happening is you're confusing him. Sure, it's easy for us to think that a child knows the difference between underwear and diapers, but a child's mind is not going to know when to let the urge go, and when it needs to hold back. You have to force him to ALWAYS have to get up and go to the bathroom when he has to poop or potty.

I wanted to comment on the lady above's response (a few above mine). She was saying how boys don't care to please people like girls do and was giving reasons why you should be more relaxed with your son. I just wanted to throw in that I am proof that you can't bundle all kids into certain stereotypes. What she said may be true for her kids, but to give you advice based on what she thinks all boys are like is just, well, a little ignorant (meant as actual definition, not in a degrading way). My son trained in about 4 days, my daughter took 7. My son loves to please me, my daughter loves to argue and test me with everything. My son cares about everything he does, and puts great effort into making coloring pages and drawings as perfect as he can, my daughter likes to make everything into a race. So, don't excuse his behavior as "just being a boy" because you'd only be fooling yourself.

Have you noticed him drinking or eating more in addition to the more frequent urination? Those are all the hallmark signs of diabetes - I don't want to get you nervous, I just wanted to see if the other symptoms are there that might explain the frequent urination outside of a UTI, bladder infection.

Kids appear to go through phases with potty training. It wouldn't hurt to have a conversation with your Pediatrician to see if this is normal or if it should be investigated more.

We have a friend whose 6 year old still has to wear something to bed because she hasn't mastered the overnight thing yet. Another neighbor mentioned that their 6 year old just stopped wearing something to bed for the same reason (ironically, they were both born on the same day).

Hi B., I don't have any experience with this but I just thought I'd let you know that frequent urination could indicate a UTI (he'd notice the pain) or diabetes among other things. I don't mean to worry you, it sounds like maybe he is rebelling against using the toilet or is just a little bit lazy (boys can be especially good at being lazy!) Have a chat with him to find out why he isn't going to the toilet. I think it is interesting that he promises not to do it tomorrow night, that means he is totally aware of what he is doing and that it is taboo. I'm sorry I'm not more help, just wanted to let you if he is going to that bathroom that often day and night there might be a medical reason. Good luck!

Better have him checked out right away. He could be diabetic or have kidney and or bladder issues. Diabeteics pee way too much but also it could be too small of a bladder. My sister's middle son had those issues. He had to be circumsized twice because the first one went bad and healed baddly. It hurt to pee so he would wait and they when he went it was because he was so full. He did it until 5 or 6. Now he is much better. Also holding drinks after 8 p.m. did not help at all. There could also be issues with the muscles around the bladder. they may not be working right squeeseing the pee out.
Good luck.

Your son could have a very small bladder or a weak one. Do not loose it with him. He probably can not help it. Bladder problems will also put more presure on the bowle. I would get him into a Urologist and get him looked at and tested.