I have to agree with all the women who have already responded. One of the greatest frusterations in my marriage is the fact that my husband and I dont seem to be able to understand each other, and there is nothing wrong with our hearing. I can say something simple and he hears something completely different. I am not sure if we will ever find a way to understand one another ;).
I have been signing for over 10 years now, and have worked for a few months as an interpreter many years ago. I have found that with sign language, it is more than just "moving your hand like this means this", but a whole body language. Your eyebrows go up and you lean forward when you ask a question. Your mouth the words you are signing, and you face says how you feel about what you are saying. You use your whole body to express a concept rather than sign for sign. It is beautiful, and I found that when I was interpreting (it was for church and I was really rusty) I could convey as much with my body as I could with my signs even if I was having a hard time coming up with the right signs. If your husband uses sign language you need to learn. If you spoke Polish, he would learn that for you. Get your kids learning sign as well. If your husband doesnt sign, it isnt too late to start. You may find that if you learn together you develop your own system of communication between the two of you. Good luck, and I think it is really neat that you married someone who is deaf. Most women dont take that leap.
Ok, so now I see that there was more than I initially read...Talk about communication issues! I still dont think that there is anything different between you and your husband than there is between me and mine. I feel the same way, like there are some weeks when we are on the same page, and then there are some times, well most of the time, when it feels like we just simply do not understand one another. I think though that I have to change some of my behaviors. My husband has a bad habit of acting like he knows more than me, and that makes me nuts. So I get defensive and insist that he does things my way. I know that as he works on not being a know it all, I need to work on not controlling everything. I tell him what he does wrong all the time maybe because I hope he will see that he doesnt know everything. All I can say is try to focus only on what your husband does right and not on the negative. Let him know that you appreciate what he does, and then give him leway to do it his way. Listen to me, going on like I know something! I am just figuring it out on the way too. Hang in there! Maybe making time for the two of you only (Heck 5 kids is a lot of responsibility) will help.