Has anyone else let their baby/toddler sleep in the bed with them? I got into the habit of just letting my son sleep with my husband and I when he woke up at night because it took so long to get him back to sleep and I was so tired myself. He's been sleeping in our bed with us for quite some time now, about maybe a year or so. I would really like to get him to want to sleep in his own bed because our bed is too crowded now that he is bigger, how do I do this? We've tried putting him in his bed after he's gone to sleep (which he sleeps for quite awhile) but he'll wake up and he comes straight into our room and he'll scream if I try to put him right back in his bed, we've tried starting off in his bed and reading books and playing soft low music and cuddling by his bed but nothing seems to work he just wants to be in our bed. Anyone had a similar situation?
We're in the same boat. Dr. Jay Gordon seems to have the most gentle approach. http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp I intend to try is as soon I'm not so sleepy!
Hi J.,
I think co-sleeping is great, but I understand the crowded bed problem. What I suggest is putting a mattress on the floor next to your bed for your son to sleep on. That way he can feel close to you, and you can reassure him if he wakes up at night. Once he can consistently sleep through the night that way, try moving him into his room.
I hope that this helps, good luck!
The Family Bed is the most secure place for your children! We did it with both of our sons (now 11 and 7) and each one got to do it until they self-weaned around 2 and 1/2 years old. They never have sleeping issues now and it was a natural progression at that age to want their own beds. We didn't have to force them, they each just went when they were ready (just like self-weaning off the breast...let the child tell you when they are ready). It is such a great thing to do and allow them to go when they are ready, not us. After all, how many college age kids do you know that are still in their parents bed?
Dear J.,
We've slept with all 4 of our children by choice. We chose to do this because I breastfed them all and my husband & I quickly learned with our first child that getting sleep made us better parents, spouses, workers, etc... So, when baby no 2 came along we went through heck trying to get our 2 1/2 year old to sleep in his own bed in his own room. It took us a long time because WE were the problem. We weren't consistant because we didn't know if we were doing the right thing. Eventually HE decided to sleep in his own room and he did. Since we the parents figured out that it just takes consistancy on our part, it's a lot less painful on all of us. If your 2 1/2 year old comes into bed in the middle of the night, then one of you, probably your husband if you're with the baby, should gently take your child back to bed. He will probaby have to stay with him for a while, but this won't last forever. Eventually he will get used to this and will stay in his own bed.
Several months ago when our baby was born, we needed to get our 4 yr old daughter into her own bedroom. We made a deal with her. If she slept there for 10 nights, then daddy would give her a princess room. The princess room cost under $150. from Walmart. It looks great and she loves to sleep in there. Occasionaly, she will come into our bed in the middle of the night. If it's before 5 am, then my husband takes her back to bed. If not, then we just enjoy the snuggle time with her. Oh, we also bought a King size bed a few years ago so we are all more comfortable.
My 12 & 9 year olds put themselves to bed every night. They only require a kiss and a hug from mom and dad.
Good luck!
J.
We co-sleep by choice. There are many different variations of what you can do to make it work for you. Have you thought about adjusting his crib to the level of your bed & taking the side off & pushing it up against your bed? I have learned everything is a gradual weaning process. Start him out sleeping in the bed next to you & gradually move it further away. My daughter asked to be in her own room when she was 3 1/2 yrs so it doesn't last forever. Read "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley.
When we decided we had to break our son of the habit, what we did was put up a gate on his doorway, but left the door open for him. He could still hear us and sometimes see us, but he couldnt get out. He did cry some at first, but that changed quickly. Also, I let him play in his room if he did want to get up and he would get into his own bed, but the rule was no lights, because at 2 almost 3, he never remembered to shut them off. It actually worked out quite well and the play thing only lasted a few days because its boring to play in the dark!!
I have co-slept with all 6 of my 7, and have had them in thier own bed by the age of 2 or 3, it just depended on when I was ready to move them, I still currently sleep with my 15 month old, my 3 year old daughter had no prob going right to her own bed, how I transition mine to thier own beds is I first start by making a pallet on the floor for them, this makes them feel like I am not throwing them out and gets them accustomed to not having the feeling of me right next to them, they still wake up but you just put them back on the floor(this will still allow you to get sleep and limit the amount of time for interuption)I follow my kids lead, some took to it easier the others, but once they were sleeping down there good I would slowly move the pallet away from the bed until they were at the door.It usually takes about a week, I then let them fall asleep on the pallet but move them to thier own bed, expect that they will wake and this is actually the hard part, you have to get up and put them back in bed, I don't use a gate or close the door, my room is always open to them, if they woke up an hour before I was ready I will let them climb into bed with me but not before that. Remember he has been in your bed a long time there is no easy solution it will take time, I still had similar issues with the one I put in a crib,my first one, but it is possible, none of my teenagers sleep with me, although I have to admit I have woken up with one or two on my floor when they were sick and I wouldn't wake up LOL, poor things I still feel bad about those! One of the other moms mentioned this, I haven't read the book myself but I have checked out a site and a friend used it so give it a look.
http://www.lovegevity.com/parenting/mother/baby_wakes.html
P.S sorry for my spelling my brain and hands aren't on the same page!
So, I have a 3 year old son and a 4 year old daughter. I seriously thought it was a PROBLEM that they want to sleep with us. Sounds like this is very NORMAL behavior. Our son is the one that we can't seem to ween away. Olivia is getting MUCH better. One thing we have tried and was suggested through another Mom at Mamasource is have a Sleep Fairy leave them some type of "treat" under their pillow when they sleep in their room through the night. They don't get it when they sleep in Mom/Dad's room or bed. We were spoiled when they were infants because they both slept in their crib/own room; I nursed both of them as well, but it was always in their room at night. I've decided I'm just going to enjoy the times they want to come in and snuggle or sleep by our bed, because it won't last forever. Plus, I don't know how many "treats" to keep giving from the Sleep Fairy; I'll have to wean them of that idea, too-but it sure has been fun!
This is what we did we had a new baby on the way and the bed was crowded with all four of us in it (Hubby, 2yr old, me and pregnant belly LOL)
Get the matress from the childs bed and make it up on the floor of your bedroom get him used to sleeping next to your bed, You might have to lay down with him until he falls asleep too and that's ok. Eventually he will feel comfortable sleeping in his own bed and you can start moving it towards the door and eventually into his own room.
Good for you for listening to your babies needs btw :-)
My son is now 3yrs old and has been sleeping in his own bed for about a year and in his own room for about 6months. And the new baby has been in our bed for almost 9months LOL!
I have the same problem, only my daughter is now 8 and we also have our three year old with us, all in a queen-sized bed!! I have tried EVERYTHING, and she still won't budge, even if I let her fall asleep in our bed and try to move her later, she wakes up screaming like she's being tortured! I've tried letting her sleep in her older sisters room, tried bribes, a new bed, taking away treats, absolutely NOTHING works! I've even found her sleeping on the kitchen floor outside our bedroom door, under the kitchen table, in the toy closet, anywhere but in a bed that isn't ours. This is now a real problem because she is much bigger now, and there really isn't any room left, so I'm often forced out of the bed until hubby leaves for work at 4 am. When we started co-sleeping when she was a baby, I thought I was doing the right thing, she was a high-need baby and woke up constantly until I but her in our bed. But I'd known then that it would become such a problem, I never would have started co-sleeping in the first place. Things have gotten so bad that as of tomorrow I'm moving into her room, she can have my bed, my room, and my husband, I just want to get a real night's sleep!
Hi J.,
Sorry I don't have any advise for you, but I am going through the same thing you are, so if you get any help that works, please pass it along to me too. I'd appreciate it. My son is going to be 3 in January. He got sick in Feburary with the flu and I let him sleep with me because it helped him sleep better. Well, here it is almost a year later and I never broke that habit. It's been only me & him for so long, I never really minded that we shared a bed. Now I have a boyfriend who occasionally stays the night, and he's really good (and strong enough) to pick my son up and move him into his own bed without waking him up. When I try it, he wakes up then screams and kicks when I put him in his bed. I usually give up because I'm so tired & he's right back in my bed! He'll pretend to go to sleep in his bed, you know, just playing, but when it actually comes to bedtime, he throws a tantrum and refuses to stay there, (even if i'm right next to him trying to let him know he'll be ok). Good luck with your situation, hopefully you find something that works and maybe it'll work for me too! Thanks!
M.
