Co-sleeping Options

I copied and pasted an email from the President of the Ca SIDS Advisory Council regarding co sleeping. I could not copy the attachment, but if you email me at ____@____.com, I can forward the entire email with the attachment to you. I know it can be psychologically very comforting to sleep with your baby, but in the 20 plus years I have been giving support to mother's who have lost their babies, it is really pretty risky. You can not imagine the profound grief if your baby is accidentally suffocated and unfortunately, it happens more than we would like. The best to you and your lovely family. Namaste,

Subject: CALIFORNIA SIDS ADVISORY COUNCIL: RECENT STUDY SHOWS INCREASED SUFFOCATION DEATHS

To Members of the California SIDS Community:

A study from the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDCP), published in Pediatrics this month (February, 2009), shows that infant death rates from accidental suffocation and strangulation during sleep have increased four-fold from 1984 to 2004, with most of the increase occurring from 1996-2004 (14% increase in these deaths per year). At the same time, total sudden unexpected infant deaths fell 42% and SIDS deaths fell 62%. Of the infants who died from accidental suffocation or strangulation, the specific mechanism was believed to be overlaying in 34%, wedging or entrapment 14%, and suffocation by bedding in 14%. 51% of these infants were bedsharing at the time of death, 6% of these infants were not bedsharing, but the bedsharing status was unknown in 43%.

This study underscores the importance of the infant sleeping environment, and the fact that an unsafe sleeping environment can cause death. This study does not specifically target bedsharing. However, 51% (perhaps even more) of those infants who died from accidental suffocation or strangulation were bedsharing at the time of death, and 34% of these deaths were believed to be due to overlaying. When you combine this information with the observation that adult beds are often unsafe (soft mattress, pillows, duvets, etc.), avoiding unsafe bedsharing is certainly an important message based on these study results. One of the dangers of bedsharing is the associated unsafe sleeping environment, and thus the simplest public health advice remains encouraging room sharing, but not bedsharing.

I append copy of the original published study in Pediatrics, and a news article written about the study published in the Sacramento Bee, for your interest.

If you have any comments or further questions, please do not hesitate to contact me. Thank you so much for helping to improve SIDS services, education, and research in California.
---Tom Keens

Co-sleeping is so, so very sweet!! We have slept with both our kids. And what I found as a great compromise to get all our needs met is right around 1 year I have found there is a window where its fairly easy to change their sleeping patterns. I started by night weaning which took about a week to get them used to. They can nurse to sleep then I don't let them nurse again till 5am (we look at a clock to see if its night-night time or nurse time). After a week of tears and comforting them back to sleep without nursing they settled into a sleep for the whole night. At that point I introduced a toddler bed right next to my bed. So, they nursed to sleep and once they were really asleep I could easily move them to the toddler bed where they stay most nights till 5 then they crawl up into my bed; nurse and go back to sleep. I never turn them down because I want them to like their bed, but most nights it works great. We get to fall asleep and wake up with our babies but have restful sleep and time together in between. When they are bigger you gradually move the toddler bed across the room and further from your bed. Its worked well for both our kids once they get used to the new arrangements. Good luck!

I wouldn't get a crib. He'll grow up so fast that you'll be needing a twin bed soon. I would put your bed against the wall and place pillows - or the futon on at the end of your bed in case he rolls off. Will your husband sense him there so he won't hurt him? It's best to put your son between you and the wall - make sure the bed is sung against the wall so he can't get trapped there.

Kudos on co-sleeping! Good job, mama! Please ignore all posts on increased SIDS rate, etc, this study was based on a pretty old, inacurate data: Dr. Sears has good info on this, as well as lots of artickles on kellymom.com

As for cosleeping, have you seen the info on how to sidecar a child's crib to the adult bed? There're some links on kellymom.com about it.

-J.

You could have your son sleep inbetween you and your husband or you could push the bed against the wall and for the end buy a tall inexpensive head board and cover it with foam and then a quilt, so that it looks nice. that way he could not excape but would not bump his head aginst hard wood

You could purchase the Humanity Family Bed for side protection:

http://www.humanityorganics.com/

and then put bolsters at the foot of the bed. I used Ikea bolsters:

http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/00134617

I still use the bolsters in my daughter's twin bed for side protection so they were a great investment. I never got the Humanity Family Bed but if we have a second child it'll be the first thing I'll buy.

I loved co-sleeping and my 3 year old and I still occasionally take naps together. So sweet, I'll miss it when she's older but she and I are both snugglers so we enjoy it for now. By the way a lot of people think co-sleeping means your kids will never learn to sleep on their own but I didn't find that to be true with our child. She's a fabulous sleeper and we transitioned her slowly and without many tears at each stage.

Good luck and enjoy.

Hello K. A: This is the first time I have ever heard of the term "co-sleeping". Being the mother of 5 and raising several other children as newborn infants being placed for adoption we just called it "sleeping with mom and dad" & we made no big deal about it. But I want to put forth a few ideas that have not been talked about by the others.
I learned pretty quickly that mom and dad got very little quality sleep as our children slept with their head on dads chest to hear his heartbeat and their feet on or against me.
We had alot of sweet experiances and alot of not so sweet experiances of children sleeping with us.
Those tender intimate moments are hard to get with children in the bed, so consider that, & know that they will need their own space sometime. We kept a big pile of blankets and quilts in the room so taht our kids could build "nests" around our bed. This can become a problem if you step on someone you didn't expect in the middle of the night. ha-ha so smile you may need to keep a light on.
I loved it when our teens would come in after a date and talk with us and fall asleep at the foot of the bed. But my husband and I made sure that we were well covered up as one night our daughter and her friend decided to come in and talk with us!! Have fun in this great adventure of parenthood, Nana G

We have the bed in a corner, with our 7-month-old between me & the wall & our 2-year-old in the middle. The two-year-old is a bit active, but not too much, usually. What happens for us is this: Our bed should have a bookcase-type headboard, but it's missing, which means there's space between the top of the mattress and the wall, which we keep padded with a couple of pillows. Our little girl often ends up sleeping up there, above our heads. Weird, maybe, but it works. We have a toddler-sized stand hammock set up next to our bed (comfy, simple, doesn't take up much space, and totally washable, in case she pees), that I'm thinking she'll probably transition to as the nights get warm this summer.

If you have room in your rooom (it sounds like you do) we bought a crib that has a toddler bed conversion. I converted it to a toddler bed adjusted the matress level so that it is at the same level or just slightly lower than our bed and then pushed it up against our bed. Make sure it is snug against your bed every night. He will have three sides of railing and the open side will be against you.

Hope it helps!

K.,
I have to agree with two of the ideas already suggested..... My first thought was to buy a toddler bed and place it by your bed. I know it wouldn't exactly be co-sleeping but it would be pretty close. We have a one year old and I LOVE when she is in our bed (I get lots of Mommy Cuddle Time and she feels secure when waking in the middle of the night that we are there for her) but unfortunately, my wife gets all the kicks to her lower back and wakes up less rested than when we all first went to bed..... oops. I am scared of her climbing out of her crib though since she is pretty tall for her age and there is a hardwood floor waiting for her when she does decide to make her escape..... A small plastic toddler bed is less cumbersome than a convertible one (we unfortunately have a large one that will eventually turn into a full size bed) and easily moved out of the way.

I also like the idea of taking the frame off the bed and just putting it on the floor. Sounds like the most cost effective way to go.... I think I would try that one first. The only concern I would have is that your little person would be able to wander around the room while you and dad were snoozing.... make sure your stuff is 100% baby proofed if you try this idea.

Good luck and let us know how is all works out....

D.

First, I would say to evaluate your son's needs, then your own. Put him in the safest place...and that just may be a crib. Chances are he will not climb out of the crib at this age; and ending up down by your feet doesn't seem like a good option! If you need him in your room, set up a crib by your bed. How about co-sleeping with him during naps, and not at night? Not all babies are snugglers; only one of my three was conducive to co-sleeping, the others needed their own beds, despite my desires. This is just the beginning of the changing needs of your child, good luck.

What we did is to push our platform bed against the wall, and we installed a mesh/plastic bed rail on the opposite side. This worked great! We're all still co-sleeping and loving it. We've been co-sleeping for more than four years now and have found that we all get lots of great sleep, feel safe, and enjoy being together. It's a crazy busy world so our quiet nights together are a nice break.

I suggest you stop the co-sleeping, because in the future you may run into trouble with your baby sleeping in his own crib/room. It will be a hard habit to break. Good Luck!

WE co-slept for a long time. WE simply put our mattress on the floor. While we knew that this was not where we always wanted to be,we kept it there for as long as we felt it was needed.
P

I second the recommendation of the Humanity Family Sleeper from http://www.humanityorganics.com/. I've been using it since shortly after my daughter was born and we both love it. I am VERY attune to my daughter and slight pretty lightly so I do not worry about rolling onto her. I was worried about my husband rolling onto her so I actually purchased a second Humanity Family Sleeper and put it as a barrier between my husband and me. That way, baby can sleep on either side of me safely.

Good luck to you in finding the right product for your needs! Co-sleeping is so rewarding. Don't give it up unless you HAVE to!

Hi K.,

if the futon is right next to the bed, what if you let the baby sleep alone on the futon and you sleep on the bed with your husband, you are still right there with the child.
Have you tried this?