Co-sleeping - Frisco, TX

A.,

Give it some more time...around 4-5 months you will be able to move him into his own bed and it will be much easier. I was the same way as you...I wanted my baby in her own bed, but it didn't work until she was older and now she is a GREAT sleeper! You need to give the nap thing time too. Both my girls didn't really start taking GOOD naps until they were about 8 months old. They weren't on a schedule until 8 months either. Good luck and give it time...enjoy this time, it goes by REALLY fast!!!

I let my two month old girl cry it out a few times, but i've always had her in her own room- so she couldn't get used to me being right there all the time. i don't always go along with what parenting books say. sometimes i go with my gut. if after 20 minutes she was still crying then i would go in there, but usually she fell asleep by 20 minutes. hope that helps.

My daughter slept with use until she was 3 months. When I moved her to her crib I took a t'shirt that I wore and slipped it over her mattress so she would have my scent. This seemed to really help. And we bought one of those crib aquariums. As for naps I had the same problem. I started putting her in her swing. It worked! Once she was older my sitter helped me transition her to her crib. Hang in there!!

It sounds like your little one has a high need for touch. In addition to reading a great resources, such as the No Cry Sleep Solution, try wearing him in a sling or carrier (like one by ergo)during the day . . . give him as much touch as possible during the day. Babies are born to be close to their mamas irregardless of our sleep routines. The time does pass!

my sugesstion would be to put him in a bassinett next to your bed real close.. then slowly move it away then to the foot of your bed each day move it closer to the door. then into his room leave the bassinet in his room then put him in crib.. if that dont work he can cry it out.. but try not to give in. it may be hard but he will be ok . longer naps.. keep him active while he is awake jumpers, and stuff. then when he is tired swaddle him and hope for the best.. try to keep a routine.

I have 4 children and our 3rd was like this. It took me 3-4 weeks to figure out that she only wanted me close. We purchased a First Years Safe and Secure co-sleeper (got it at Wal-mart and it was only $35). It is a small bed that lays on top of your bed, has its own mattress and a little light. We have a king sized bed so we put it between us. She slept for over 5 hours the 1st night we used it!! She was very small and slept in it for 4 months and then I just moved it to the crib. After 1 week of it being in the crib we took it out and she slept great in her crib. Hope this helps.

I swore by "Babywise" and "The Happiest Baby on the Block" both excellent books on developing good sleep habits in your baby. I say now is the time to start. Two months is old enough to start teaching your baby to sleep for longer stretches and in his own crib. Otherwise you're going to start teaching him to sleep only next to you and you don't want that. That's a hard habit to break! My sister learned that the hard way and told me about these books when I had my kids. HTH! I know it's very hard to listen to babies cry it out in the beginning, but it is soooo worth it in the long run. Stay strong, good luck!

he is not too young to cry it out. check out time wise, great book. This is the time to get this right. Look at all of the past requests of parents who have 2 and 3 year old that will not sleep by themselves. It is so much easier to get it right now!!

I agree that 2 months old is too young to cry it out. Most pediatricians recommend that at 6 months old a child is mature enough. My question is do you put your son on his back or stomach? I know the trends change as to what is the safest way for an infant to sleep, but my son would not sleep for more than 30 minutes when he was on his back. When I started putting him on his stomach he slept much better. Once he was able to turn himself over, that was his preferred way to sleep and still does now at 14 years old. My second son was the same way and could never sleep for very long in his car seat. I would watch him trying to turn over in his car seat and then wake up crying.

I do believe that it is important to establish a bed time routine that includes your baby being put in their own bed, sleepy, but not asleep. Everyone needs the ability to put themselves to sleep alone. It is important, because if they wake during the night, they need to be able to put themselves back to sleep without your help. This is a skill that will serve them for a lifetime. If your child can only sleep with you, then you will never sleep alone. How will that work if you have to be apart? I have a friend who has allowed this and her daughter just turned 13! Peer pressure has finally forced her daughter to learn to sleep in her own bed, but it has been a learning experience. Needless to say, they only have one child!

Everyone has their own opinion, but I personally feel that 2 months is a little too young to let the baby cry it out. You might look into get a co-sleeper with a zip out side. That way he can be beside your bed without being in your bed. Swaddling him might help since they wake themselves up waving their hands around. My first one loved being swaddled. My second hated having her hands swaddled and would lay there and struggle until her arms were free, or she would start to cry. He may be in a growth spurt. I started my first on rice cereal early (with our pediatrician's approval) because she was growing very rapidly.

One of my mother's biggest recommendations was "never let the baby sleep in your bed". Having 4 children, I never did. 2 were twins. I found swaddling helped and sometimes I had to go back in the room and rub their back until they fell asleep again (maybe 10 minutes), but they always knew that THEIR bed/crib was their place to sleep.

I have a friend that didn't learn that lesson and now the boy is 10 years old and still sleeping in the bed with the parents. Good birth control.!!??

I am now a grandmother of 4 - passing on the recommendation from great grandma.

Swaddling will likely work because your little one clearly enjoys that close feeling. Just keeping working at it. Don't necessarily let him cry it out for any significant length of time, but a few minutes may be all it takes.

As for the napping, it is one of the great misconceptions about newborns -- that they always sleep! All three of my girls were HORRIBLE sleepers at that age. Naps were short, and many times not at all (especially my now 10 year old, who almost never napped at that age). But the good news is that, as long as you continue to work at a routine/structure, eventually your little guy will fall into that routine. For my girls, it was around 4-6 months of age.

My daughter is about to turn five, but I still remember those first several months without any sleep! She just would not sleep unless she was held. She was too big for the average swaddle blanket and would get loose, so I looked for something else and discovered the Miracle Blanket. It was a lifesaver! If you decide to try swaddling, I highly recommend it because it makes swaddling so much easier, especially if your son is able to get free from a regular blanket.

The other thing we did was get a Fisher Price swing that went front to back and side to side. She LOVED the side to side movement. While this is probably not the most ideal situation, I couldn't get her to sleep without movement during the day and used the swing for naps. I still swaddled her and made sure she was belted in. I used this time to nap next to her or would work next to her. I don't recommend leaving a child alone in the swing overnight.

Once my daughter outgrew the Miracle Blanket, I still used it without putting her legs into the pouch.

Good luck!

I had my little girl in a co-sleeper for a while (but she really slept in my arms). I swaddled her and transitioned her into her crib at about 4-5 months. She didn't sleep throught the night at that point so I got just about as much sleep as I was getting sleeping with her. After 6 months I tried to get her to sleep through the night on her own. I tried the no-cry sleep solution and it didn't work for us. We ended up doing the cry it out method (even though I SWORE I would NEVER do that to my child) and it was the best thing in the world for her and us!! Point being, you have to do what works for the child at the appropriate age. If sleeping with her is working for you at the moment don't feel pressured to get her in the crib. If you are ready to get her out of your bed try a few things out (but be consistent with them) and see what works for you. I hope this helps a little :)

I don't think anyone's mention this one, so I'll throw it out there. We LOVED The Happiest Baby on the Block. Stupid title, good book (or DVD). I think swaddling was a big key for my daughter, along with the other methods he suggests. My daughter has always been a better night sleeper than napper. Oh, the frustrations I used to have over naps. For a while there, the only way to get her to sleep was to sit and bounce on a big exercise ball until she conked out. Good luck, mama!

Hi there!
You've gotten a lot of great responses, but I just wanted to give you my support...my (almost) 2 year old son would only nap for 30 minutes at a time during the day. It was like he had a timer set in his brain! It drove me crazy. Swaddling, a white noise machine, making sure the room was dark, holding him while he was sleeping...would help sometimes. But honestly, he just started slowly extending the length of his nap over time. I think his naps started getting longer around 6 months. This isn't "normal" per say, but after talking (online) to a lot of other moms, I found out it's more common than I thought. My son was colicky, though, so I think this was just part of his temperment in some way. Oh! And a lot of people said that they've had success by letting their baby nap in the swing (while it's reclined so his neck doesn't lean forward). The motion apparently helps.

We didn't co-sleep (tried it but it did not work for us) but did have our share of night waking problems! Swaddling seemed to help him at night. My friend also bought us this bear that has the sound of a mother's heartbeat that he seemed to like. We did cry it out when he was like 5 or 6 months bc he was still waking up several times at night, but were very lucky that he didn't cry forever (I don't know if I could've stuck with it otherwise). Happiest Baby on the Block is good...also Healthy Sleep habits, happy Child is pretty good. One suggestion I've heard for getting a baby to sleep in their own crib is to have mom wear a t shirt or something for a night or day, then put it in the crib with the baby so that when he's sleeping, he can smell your scent and feels close to you. Good luck and congrats! : )

the book 'Baby Wise' can help you.

Hi A.-

I am from the other side of the sleep camp that says your baby is not too young to cry it out, but you have to be ready as it will tug at your heart. Honestly, it is the only way to get him to learn to put himself to sleep, a habit which will greatly benefit both you and him, in the long run. His naps will get longer also, as he learns this habit. Otherwise your presence, nursing included, will keep him reliant on you to fall asleep. It isn't easy and you will need support from friends who are sympathetic to be on the phone with you while he is crying. Dont' call someone who is going to tell you to go in (ie. grandmas or someone who believe in cosleeeping long term). I have 3 boys, 5, 4, and 1. With my second I was always running in to check on him because he had a lot of congestion issues between allergies and regular cold seasons. To this day he comes to my bed nearly every night to my bed. My oldest doesn't because I did not indulge him nor myself to running in at the slightest sound so today he is a great sleeper. I have sworn my youngest would not be like the middle, so I am teaching better sleep habits and I can see a bright sleeping future with him already. Good luck. And some books that would work you through it well are Babywise and there is one with the words Happy baby in it or sleeping baby, happy baby. Something like that. btw, I am not telling not to nurse, just not to use nursing to put him to sleep.

After having two little ones. My answer the second time around is much different than if you would have asked me before having my second! At two months they are still adjusting to a schedule. If he is sleeping pretty well during the night, then he may take shorter naps during the day. My second does not nap as well as my first. It is just the way she is.

Also, the co-sleeping thing. My second was the same way. That was the only way that I could sleep and my baby would sleep. I did it as necessary and eventually she grew out of it. I would just reserve it for an as needed basis and make sleeping alone her first priority. That is what we did b/c we just needed our sleep. As she started sleeping for longer stretches, somehow she started sleeping in her own bed. She is now 11 months and sleeps in her crib from 6:30pm-7:00am

Hang in there! Just remember to not worry so much about spoiling your baby. This is the time to spoil; trust me they won't sleep with you forever unless you let them :)

www.babywhisperer.com-they have the best sleeping advice I've seen for infants.

I recommend reading Elizabeth Pantley's "The No Cry Sleep Solution." She presents a a variety of options and solutions that will give you a lot of ideas to find something that will work for you.

Both of my kids co-slept. With the first one, I could always move him to his crib after he fell asleep, but he would never fall asleep on his own. Even when he was in his own bed, I or his dad had to lay down with him until he fell asleep. It never took more than a few minutes, was really no trouble, and was just part of his bedtime routine. At age 6, all he needs is a bedtime story, someone to tuck him in and help him with his prayers, and he'll go to sleep on his own.

With the second one, it was impossible to move him without waking him up after he fell asleep and having him in my bed all night did eventually start interfering with my sleep. I couldn't get him to sleep in the crib ever and eventually pulled out the mattress and put in on the floor in his brother's room. I would lay next to him until he fell asleep, but then (hooray) got to have my bed back! BY the time he was 18 months old, he just needs to be tucked in with a story and a song and he will go to sleep on his own.

Just keep in mind that they won't be this little for very long, and having them in bed with you won't last forever.

I think the most important thing a baby can learn when they are this young is to trust their mom to be there and love them and take care of them. I feel like that builds greater security and confidence.

Hi! My daughter, who will be six months old next week, was the same as your son. She would only sleep next to me. Because we need sleep, I allowed it, and learned to love it! About a month ago (around 4 1/2 months or so), I started putting her in her crib to sleep and she did fine. I guess she was just ready by then. She is breastfed so she wakes several times a night, and the last time (usually around 4 or 5), I bring her to bed with me because I miss that closeness we had! She loves waking up by me, but she sleeps fine in her crib. I do NOT believe in letting a baby cry it out -- imagine that feeling from the baby's perspective, and then realize that being in doubt as to whether your mommy is going to come meet your needs (comfort, food, etc.) can translate into an unhappy and anxious child. I think the baby should know that 100% of the time he needs you, you are there, and I don't care if anyone else disagrees, I know this is right. Just always go back to considering how the baby feels. Good luck!

My heart goes out to moms, especially first time moms, who are struggling with getting their little ones to sleep. I have two children - a 4 year old boy and a 2 year old girl. Oh, how I wish I had the wisdom my 2 year old enjoyed that I gained from raising my 4 year old. I could relate to Kari B.'s post. I read and read, asked and asked to find ways to get my son to sleep longer time frames and without me. Like someone wrote that at this age, babies just don't sleep much longer than 30 minutes, especially during the day, is so true, and that was true of both of my children. My son, particularly, was and still is not a good sleeper. I finally gave up the battle around 8 months and as long as he went to sleep in his crib at the beginning of the night, I did whatever I needed to do during the night and day to get him to sleep because a) I needed the sleep and b) I was getting angry trying to follow what the books suggested. I tried the "cry it out" method, and it physically made my son sick. I'd never try on a child younger than 6 months. My daughter fused for a minute (still does sometimes today), but she quiets down in less than a minute. Eventually with my son (then later my daughter) I simply followed what my heart and gut told me to do, and I'm glad. My son now goes to sleep in his room at the beginning of the night (with resistence but he does sleep in his room) with the promise that when he wakes in the night, he can come sleep in Mama and Dada's room. This has been a routine that I established when he was 8 months. I've made a pallet on the floor next to me just for him. (Side note: when that day comes, Wal-mart sells cheap foam sleeping bag pads that can laid on the floor and then use blankets for comfort.)

My daughter has been one who didn't sleep well with me, and she did better sleeping in her own space. She was completely opposite in her sleeping habits from my son and rarely sleeps with me. You might find yourself looking back as your son ages to realize he just needs that extra security of you being nearby. As I learned with my son, it is just a part of his personality - can't be changed. Don't beat yourself up about it. Just hold him and love him as much as possible, and with that secruity over days and weeks he'll learn that sleeping is safe because he knows you love him and you'll respond to his cries. It's not easy because you may be wanting your space and sleep, but trust me, if you can find a way to sleep together that is safe, then you'll both be happier and you'll both get much needed sleep. The constant battle of trying to get my son to sleep in his crib all night long wore me out more than just accepting co-sleeping. As my son has aged, his nightly visits has helped in many ways because he is now fully potty trained at night, and we are very close. You'll be rewarded for your patience and love in giving him what he needs - you : ) Hang in there!

Hey A.! I had the exact problem. What worked for me (naptime) was to lay down with my girl for naptime and nurse (or bottlefeed) until she fell asleep, then I would creep out of the room and keep the house silent. In the beginning, she would only sleep 30 - 45 minutes, but I kept on a naptime schedule and every week, her naps would get a little longer. For me, laying with her three times a day at 11, 2, and 4:30ish worked and from about 4 months she switched to two naps at 11 and 4. For the nighttime routine, ( I am not a fan of crying it out) I planned out a bedtime routine starting with a bath, a little naked playtime, pj's, story, and nurse or bottle feed until she was good and asleep. I stuck with it no matter what, and after a couple of weeks, it was easy to get her sleeping through the night in her own bed. Read Dr. Sear's website on sleeping. He's really great about explaining how to read your baby and stay in tune with his/ her needs and making it work best for you. Good luck.

it won't be like this for long.....
sleep w him as long as you can
and after it all flys by
you will wish it lasted even longer!

Hi A., nothing is more wonderful to a child than the family bed. Who likes to sleep alone? My husband remembers when he was a kid snuggled between his parents and he has good,safe feelings of it.

Try "Toddler Wise". This is the beginning of a long tiring journey for you. He needs to learn to put himself to sleep and trust he will be okay or you will suffer for it later.

You need your rest. We do family bed on the weekends still. Our son is six and is now getting too big and too old so now we let him cuddle then snooze then walk him to bed. He's okay with that.

We did "Baby Wise" and never have a problem putting him to bed. He knows that is where he goes to sleep and knows how to put himself to sleep - after a story and prayers of course.

You're correct, cold turkey is too hard. Try the book and see if that helps. :)

Good luck, C.

Babies constantly change their habits as they grow. Just when you think they will stick to a certain routine, they change. So just keep trying to put your baby in his own bed for naps and bedtime and eventually it will stick. I let both my sons sleep with me anytime they wanted to from newborn to present and we've never had an issue with them not eventually returning to their bed. Do you rock your baby to sleep or just put him in bed? We rocked both of ours until they were ready to go to sleep on their own and it worked much better for us plus we got to hold them as they fell asleep every night which my husband and I wouldn't trade for the world. As far as naps during the day, my youngest wouldn't sleep very long either. Have you tried letting him sleep in the swing or bouncy seat. My son would only take naps in his bouncy and he wouldn't do that until he was about 3 months old. He is almost 2 and is still a terrible napper whereas my oldest was a terrific napper. All babies and kids are different and you just have to go along with their preferences to some degree. Just find what works for you and your baby. He won't be little forever even though it may seem like it right now. There are 3 things(so far)that I've found out you can't make a child do and those are sleep when you want them to, eat foods they don't like and go to the bathroom on the potty. I wish someone would have told me this when my oldest was a baby. It would have saved me a lot of worrying and being frustrated. Congratulations on your new baby and don'worry, everything will work out!!

Have you tried swaddling him tight so he still feels like he's in the womb? I swaddled all of ours, even in the summer, I've also heard noise machines help. Good luck!

I highly recommend the book BabyWise. We used it on our 3 year old and are beginning with our 4 week old. It helped so much. Are you 100% certain he's full before his naps? They usually fall asleep while eating (especially if nursing), but that doesn't mean they're full. Keep him awake until he's finished, and then put him down to sleep. 2 months isn't too young to cry it out, but you don't want to just let him cry forever. Try 5-10 minutes and see if it helps. It may not, but it's definitely worth a try so you can get a good night's sleep too. BabyWise is awesome, and I have a friend who used the book Baby Whisperer and said it worked well. They sound very similar, but there are a few differences. All babies are different, so just find what works for you. REmember that with any parenting technique, you find what parts work best for you to make it your own. Good luck to you!

Do you swaddle your son? Although many people stop doing this after a few weeks or months, I know many babies like to be swaddled beyond that. My daughter is 6 months old and would not sleep more than 30 min. or so without being swaddled, and only recently did I start leaving her arms out (she let me know she was ready). She has been swaddled and happily sleeping through the night since she was about 2 months.

Good luck!

get a large hot water bottle and fill with hot "comfortable" water. wrap the hot water bottle with a "clean" tee shirt you can rub against your arms or face to give it your scent, and snuggle your baby next to this object. i always bathed, cleaned clothed, fed my baby and put down at the same time every evening... she slept through the night except for the 2:00 am time frame and went back to sleep in a few minutes. good sleeper.

I was personally definitely was NOT a BabyWise book fan. I didn't agree with such a strict structure for my daughter. It just wasn't either of our personalities. What was my life saver was a great book called The Happiest Baby on the Block. It helped me SO MUCH! I highly recommend it to all of my friends having babies now. :) Google it and check the reviews out, but it was great.
I also bought this Prince Lionheart Slumber Bear from Babies R Us that has the sound of a heartbeat from inside the womb. It really helped my daughter sleep by herself.
Good luck and feel free to message me if you have any questions; I so remember what it was like at that point. :)