Co-Sleeping - Wichita,KS

I love my girls more than anything. But I don't believe its a good idea to let them sleep with you. I have twin girls that are 6 months old and have never slept with my husband and I. No matter how many times we get up in the night. I was one of those kids that ended up sleeping with my mom til I was 7 or so. Don't believe its a great idea

I don't really like co-sleeping with son. When he was first born the only way I could get both of us sleep was to sleep on the couch with him on my chest due to acid relex. ATT I was also working a full time job, and breast feeding along with supplementing. It was nice at first to feel him snuggle up to my neck and his warm body on mine. When he was 6 wks old I got the scare of my life. We were both sleeping and the next thing I heard was this loud thump. My son rolled out of my arms hit his head on my coffe table and landed face first on my hardwood floors. He had a bruise between his eyes for a few days. That was the last day we slept together. He is now 15 months old and has been sleeping in his own room since Jan. There are days I wish he would sleep in my bed and snuggle with me but he just thinks its time to play! lol

Sorry I just ramble on and on.

Hi C.. I have never slept with my babies, with the exception of maybe a handful of times. I was very afraid that I would accidentally kick them out of bed (we have 2 cats) or my husband would roll over on them (he's a very sound and rambunctious sleeper). My daughter is now almost 3, and she ends up in bed with us almost every night. I think you're going to battle kids sleeping with you no matter what. Don't worry about what anybody else thinks; just do what you're comfortable with! Good luck!

There are pros and cons to co-sleeping I think it is great that you are so excited to have your little one. My question is are you co-sleeping because it is the best thing for you or her? You and your husband have been blessed to be parent how you want. Both decisions have pros and cons. I would recommend doing some research. In the end you should do what is best for your little one.

C.,

I have a 3 year old who still sleeps in our king bed with my husband and I and I wouldn't have it any other way. Against what others have said, he is far from a mamma's boy. My pediatrician said to get him in his own bed ASAP for his own independency. I have found that he goes to bed at 8:30 and falls asleep so comfortably in our bed. Plus, he is a VERY sound sleeper so when we go to bed, he never wakes up. This has worked great for our household and when he is ready to sleep in his own bed, so be it. My husband complained at first until I overheard him telling someone that he loved having his son snuggle up to him every night and he was so glad we chose to do it. They are only young once and if it is all about choices, when he chooses to sleep independently we will do so. Again, enjoy it now as they grow so fast and I truly believe so much more good comes from it. Sweet sleeping~J.

You know, i did the same thing. I had to really watch her to make sure she was breathing....My daughter did sleep with me and i had no problems transferring her to her own bed...One thing i would say is maybe keep her in her crib while she sleeps during the day to make the transfer a little easier! To be quite honest, my daughter is 3 and she still sneaks in and sleeps with me in the middle of the night. It is not the most horrible thing in the world to make your child feel safe and close to her parent!! Good Luck to ya!!!

Do what you think is right.. But there will be a point and time when she gets older that she may not want to sleep with mommy and daddy.. My son slept in his own crib til the age of 1 1/2 then he wanted to sleep with mommy and daddy every night. He still does and sometimes he fall's asleep in his own bed.( he's 4 now) The only thing I would worry about is if you or your husband could roll over ontop of her while your asleep and not know it. I've heard that it isnt safe to let a small baby sleep with parents because of that reason. Sometimes when a parent is asleep they can roll ontop of the baby and cause suffocation. That was my main fear of letting my son sleep with me and his father when he was a baby, so I made sure he slept in his crib for the first year.

I think the biggest thing I'd say on this is don't stress out. When my son was born (he's 5), I read everything, looked at everything, felt guilted into the putting him in the crib. It never worked. He slept with us until he was 3, and now he still migrates to our room occassionally. I don't care. My daughter, who is now 2, has slept with us from day 1. We used the crib for storage. I made peace with it, and I don't regret one single moment we have spent snuggling, nursing, etc. I, too, had fertility problems. So I can relate to what you say. My son is the most sensitive, loving child, and I really think it has a lot to do with the fact he was treated with kindness and empathy at a very young age.

Plus, I think that if you work full-time (I do) that the children want their time with mommy and are going to get it no matter what time of day it is!

Enjoy every bit of your wonderful daughter.

Hi, I also have a 5 and 1/2 month old daughter (April 2 birthday). She has co-slept with my husband and I since birth. I have always put her down for a nap by herself during the day, so she hasn't complained about being laid down in her bed at night before my husband and I are ready for bed (gives us a couple hours together). Then when she wakes up (between 11pm and 1am or occassioanlly she sleeps almost through the night) I put her in bed with us for the rest of the night.
I have had to return to work part-time and I enjoy holding her through the night and I am a little lazy, I guess. I don't like having to get up with her to nurse her in the night or shush her to sleep after awakening. She eases herself back to sleep next to my husband and I, if she wakes in the night.
I personally, don't think that she will be a problem to put to bed at night when she is older because she goes to bed in her bed for naps and often at night also.
Read books by Dr. Sears for more info (and encouragement) in forming your own parenting style confidently. It has helped me feel confident in making the choices with Hanna that I have made regarding her sleeping.

I love co-sleeping. Even my husband who made me promise "no family bed" when I was pregnant, loves it - he brought our first back into bed shortly after I had transitioned him to the crib! After that, he slept with us until just last week, at the ripe old age of 2.5. We ran out of room with a new baby, so we transitioned big boy to his own bed, which he's doing great in. We got him used to falling asleep by himself in our bed a long time ago, so he wasn't dependant on us, or nursing, to fall asleep - that of course makes a big difference. I recommend "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley for help with getting her to fall asleep, or night-weaning, whenever you feel the time has arrived.

I'm now co-sleeping with my 8-month-old, in fact, I'm headed that way now. Goodnight!

Ok so I don't completely see the huge deal about all of this. I understand both sides, My daughter is 15 months now, and she just started going to bed by herself about a month ago. I had to rock her to sleep everytime, even her naps. Letting Reina sleep with you makes you feel better, and it helps her also. However, I wouldn't want to make it an everynight habbit. Just because there will be times you would rather her not be in bed with you. She will throw outrageous fits if she has gotten to used to it. If its a matter of your fears that something might happen, put your playpen or bassinet in there next to the bed so you can still hear her, but she gets used to sleeping alone. It will help her to be a little more independent the older she becomes.

First and foremost, you have to do what is right for you and your baby. Don't let someone else tell you what is right for you, only you know that. Secondly, I used to work in "research" and let me tell you, researchers can make the numbers support any claim they are making, and often they feel pressure to make a big and different opinion just to get published, and publishing is a big deal in the research world. So, take all "expert" advice with a huge grain of salt.

I co-slept with both my babies. My three year old goes to bed now with no problems, and I have just moved my son into a crib because he is almost walking and very mobile, but also because my husband is coming home from Iraq soon and is a heavier sleeper than I am. As a "temporarily" single mom, cosleeping was the only way I made it through without losing my sanity. I NEEDED my sleep!!! Especially since my three year old doesn't nap. Like I said, do what works for you. In most of the world, families all sleep in the same bed (because there may only be one bed or one room in the hut) and I like what the other lady said about the cave mama. Even in the animal world, most mammals all sleep together. It is very rare that the kids have a seperate "den". You are just trusting your natural instincts. Enjoy the cuddling!

I love co sleeping my daughter is now 3 as of the 14th of september and there has been many benifits. it helped with potty training cause i was there when she woke up in the middle of the night and it gives us some extra special mommy daughter time early in the mornings.
my daughter does have her own bed and sleeps in it when she wants and as she has gotten older she wants to sleep there on her own and i miss having her in bed with me

i say three cheers to all who co sleep

hope this takes your mind off of the negitivity that you have heard

Hi C.-

I personally wouldn't do it, but that's just me. Several people have said "to each their own" and I completely agree. Now, my 3-month-old sleeps in his pack and play bassinett right next to me and that's as close as he gets.

If you are comfortable with how your doing thing with your daughter, then by all means, continue!!! You have to appreciate every moment you get with your child because they grow up way too quick!!

Our oldest son slept with us and everything is fine. Our situation was that we were both working full time and at about 6 months, he decided that he didn't want to go back to his crib after his midnight bottle. It created a lot of havoc. So I would put him in bed wit us and everyone slept like...well, like babies. He moved into his big boy bed at about 3 1/2.
I think is so totally about what works for you. Our youngest does very well in his own bed and always has. But he is a pill during the day.

I know you have already sent a general thank you to all and by no means feel like you have to send individual notes.
I too had my miracle baby at 33. You and your husband do what you want to do. She is your baby not everyone elses. My son sleeps with us. He has his own room and from time to time he ventures in there. There are teeth marks on his wooden crib rail that shows he slept there some, but hey he loves us more and we love him "to the moon and beyond". I confirm what someone else wrote, the security children thrive from co-sleeping is endless. They are more secure, more confident, more independent, they know they can count on you to be there through thick and thin. They never feel alone, or feel as if they have to withdraw to "their room" to hide their feelings. I could go on and on about brain development studies on healthy confident brains versus insecure brains, but I will get off my soap box and let you feel secure in knowing that snuggling and breastfeeding your little "Reina-Bear" is the best thing in the world for her. Who knows you may end up nursing her longer than you originally expect. That is a great thing and no one's business, but yours. A great nursing support group would do you wonders. Kudo's and Cheers

My husband and I got my son CO SLEEPING one night because he was Wheezing and ever since he has slept in our bed he is now two and a big bed hog and his little sister sees him sleeping with us and is getting jealous. I am trying to get him used to sleeping in his toddler bed and its a very long hard process for me because I have my son that is 2 and my daughter that is 1 in our bedroom. My husband I rented a 2 bedroom house (@ that time we did not have custody of his children, but his x had them living in a homeless shelter so we took her to court and got custody)any way ever since then we have been trying to save money to buy a bigger house but it hasnt worked out yet. ANYWAY my point is CO SLEEPING seem all nice and cozy when they are itty bitty but when they get to be not so itty bitty its a lot more cozy because you have 2 yr old TOE up your nose and a little hand trying to burrow under your rear end for so unknow reason. I WOULD NOT RECOMMEND CO-SLEEPING.

I had my son in my bed until he was 18 months old I think. I was the same way as you, totally loved to snuggle up with him and everything. The one thing I enjoyed the most was finally getting him to sleep in his own bed and seeing how "ok" he was to be alone. I spent all that time sleeping with him in my bed that I didn't get a sound night of sleep, EVER! It's always in the back of your head to make sure they are ok, still breathing, not falling off the bed. When he finally slept in his own room and away from me, I slept SO much better! Did I miss the waking up and seeing his sweet face, yes!! But to know I'm raising my child to be as independent as he can be makes me happy as well. A friend of mine has a 9 year old who up until 3 years ago, still snuck into her bedroom at night to sleep with her. He just could NOT break the habit. You have a wonderful little miracle! But I have to say personaly, I am against co-sleeping. The longer you wait to get them in their own bed, the tougher it gets!

I am sorta going through the same thing. My little girl will be three months old September 26th. Before I had her I was against cosleeping because of the SIDS risk. I bought babesafe mattress wrapping, and angelcare monitor, special blanket sleepers and everything I could to prevent SIDS. The irony is that I have a little rugrat that WILL NOT sleep in her crib. I've tried so hard--but she just will not sleep in it. She will not sleep in her bassinet. She will only sleep beside me. We do have this thing that goes in the middle of the bed with sides on it to keep from rolling on her. However at the 6 am feeding even that isn't okay. I have heard good things about a book called "The Family Bed". I try to do it safe. We have a California King size bed. I lay her on my arm on her back and me on mine. I agree it is magnificent to lay with them and have their little head snuggled into your arm. Such bliss... Her crib is in our room so certainly she wouldn't be in a different room or anything.

we went through this as well. my almost 5 year old sleeps in her own bed and has since just before she turned three. she slept with us and then moved to a mat on the floor by our bed. when we moved we bought her a big girl bed and she doesn't want to sleep anywhere else now. I'm like you, I waited a long time for her, but you have to make the decision that makes your home happy.

I think that since Miss Reina is your little angel then you may do whatever feels most comfortable and works for you and your family. If it becomes uncomfortable for either you or your husband as she grows then, yeah, you may move her. But, as far as I am concerned, no one else loses sleep over checking on her a million times a night if she is not next to you, no one but you. However you sleep best, do it. As you said, enjoy her being little while you can, she is going to grow so quickly right before your eyes. Take advantage of every little moment that you are given!!!!

Have you tried to put a toddler bed or crib next to your bed for the little one to sleep in. After you put the little one to sleep put them in their own bed.

>
> Don't sweat it! I let my little girl sleep with me for quite a while. It is much more convenient and both of you get more sleep! I was a single morn at the time so I didn't have another person to think about but when it came time to switch her to a big girl bed, it was not that traumatic. I simple put her in a single twin bed, laid down with her until she fell asleep and then left to go to my bed. She is nine years old now and is fully functional, not scarred for life.
Sometimes she falls asleep in our bed and when my husband comes to bed he carries her to her own bed. And then there are nights that she will simple go to sleep on her own in her bed. That is what has worked for her. My two year old daughter, however, refuses to go to sleep unless she is alone. She has been that way from day one.

Bottom line, every child and every situation is different. If we truly are unique individuals, then we must agree that we have unique needs. Do what feels right for you.
>
> T.

I disagree with co-sleeping. I think there are other times when you can bond or spend time with you baby or children. Children need to have a sense of dependence. Besides the health risks that come with co-sleeping, you have to think about the future. It is ok for your child to depend on you for somethings, but not to sleep. They may not be able to sleep without you. What happens when you are sick or have to go out of town, and you can't have them with you? I know people want to spend as much time with their chilren, but sleeping should not be one of those times. Especially over the age of 1. Children should not have to depend on anyone to sleep, even a brother or a sister. That is not right. Just my opinion. I also beleive that children gain confidence through evvery thing they are taught in the home.

I had to put an end to the co-sleeping when he started rolling around and almost rolled off the bed. My husband has a wierd work schedule so he took advantage of any and all snuggle time available. I am pretty sure that if he could have put rails on our water bed, he would have. Now he is almost one year old and sleeps in his crib just fine. I put him to sleep in my arms and once he is out, I put him in his crib and he is usually fine through the night. So, you should do whatever feels best for you and your family and remember that everyone in your life and family will have an opinion and a right to their opinion, but it doesnt have to be your opinion.

Hello! I am mommy to almost 5 month old Julian and we co-sleep. Julian doesn't sleep in our bed, but in a bedside sleeper hooked up to our bed. That way he has his own space, but has the comfort of being close. We get the same responses, but I have read many things supporting it. We practice attachment parenting and have really enjoyed reading some of the books that Dr. Sears has to offer. Hope that helps!

S.

Hi! C. well my daughter she is 3 now and has slept with me since birth (my husband has slept on the couch since feb 2003)she had colic real bad it was terrible!!and i felt just like your feeling now.I felt better with her sleeping with me.and every body would say what are you doing that not right your poor husband blah blah blah is what i was thinking but now i wish i would of listened to them because now I want her in her own bed and she's just not ready!! and the thing that sucks for me is when she is ready to go to bed I have to go to bed i get no time alone!!!!so if i had to do all over again i would put her in her crib!! i hope my story helps you!:-)

My baby is 8 months old now, and my husband and I also co-slept with him until I stopped breastfeeding when he was about 4 months old. We had no problem with him as far as not wanting to sleep in his crib. It was just so much more convenient to have him right there in the bed beside me for feeding. My mom and sisters kept telling me it was dangerous, but I've read a lot of things that say as long as there aren't loose sheets and bedding, the only problem may be getting them out of your bed. As long as you and your man don't mind having a little one in the bed, I say, "Hey, why not?"

Good for you! There are lots of great reasons to co-sleep, but you seem to have found the best one: you're both happier that way.

Your girl will eventually want to be in her own bed. Maybe that won't be as soon as you want, maybe it'll be sooner. Either way, there's no reason to deprive you of each others' company now.

I am a mother of 2. I am a firm believer in co-sleeping. It has saved my childrens lives twice. Once my son stopped breathing and turned blue. Having him with me I was able to help him. The other time our house was broke into. The kids were with me and we were able to get out. The robbers were on the other end of the house where the kids would of been if they were in their own rooms. I also breast feed and they were able to nurse when needed without getting up. Both of my kids slept in our room until they started school. They moved from our bed to a bed in our room to the living room couch to their rooms. They did it all on their own. My kids are more secure then most kids who slept in their own beds from day one. I never felt tired like most moms who walked the floor. You do not need anyone to tell you what is right for your kids and you. That is why they are YOUR kids.

Hi C.

My daughter is almost 15mths old.. She has been sleeping with me in our bed since she was like 3mths old.. I have heard the same things as you have.. Just like you I tried for a long time to have a kid and now finally I have an angel.. There are days it is hard but then when she rolls over and puts her arms around my neck to sleep I feel good.. I have a captains twin size bed (has an extra bed underneath) I have been pulling the one bed out and sleeping on that at times.. To me there is nothing wrong with what you are doing. They are only little once and we have to cherish this...

Good luck

First of all there's no way you'll "never sleep alone again". All children move past that stage on their time. It might not be the aprents time but part of being a parent is putting asside your convenience for a while. Would you force your child to potty train because you'll "never stop changing diapers"? Of course not. Sooner or later your child will move out tof the family bed when she feels secure enough to do so. Secondly I think it is very hypocritical for people who do not sleep alone themselves to think that their children should. I would hate being alone, in a tiny bed with bars, in a dark room, far away from the one I love. I could only imagine how much worse it must be for a child who is completely helpless and has known nothing else but it's mama for 9 months. Thirdly it's just not natural to have your child sleep alone. We were designed to want, need to cuddle at night. If a cave mama put her baby somewhere else she'd wake in the morning to find it had been eaten by something. Babies sleep better when next to their mamas. a young baby's body is more able to regulate its tempurature and breathing when next to a mother, sleeping patternes blend better when next to each other which promotes better sleep, and breastfeeding is incredibly easier when enxt to each other. There have been studies out recently that using pacifiers at night reduce SIDS. A cosleeping babe can latch on to the mother and suck all night just as they would a pacifier. Tihs gives the baby the benifit of the constant sucking, makes late night eating easier, and soothes the baby before she even wakes enough to be upset. Not only that but SIDS's common name is "crib death". It happens more often in babies left to sleep alone than with cosleeping. In almost all cases of infant death with cosleeping it was suffication, not SIDS that caused the death. Usually because the parent was using drugs or alcohol or sleeping on an unsafe matress. Proper cosleeping can reduce SIDS rates because, as I mentioned earlier, the baby's body can take cues from the mother's body on regulating body temp and breathing.

Whew! Didn't mean to write a novel. LOL You should visit http://www.mothering.com/discussions/ to talk to other mamas who cosleep. We'd love to have you join us. :D

Hi C.,

I believe that if co-sleeping makes you happy and you don't mind your baby waking you up everytime she makes little tiny noise, I would say you should not stop doing it. I am sure a lot of people warm you about the safety issue, but honestly, in Japan(where I am from and my family is still there), they still co-sleep with their children. Ofcourse, when I said this to my mother-in-low who is an American, she scolded me not to do it though. But I believe whatever works for you and whatever you feel most comfortable with - go for it.
K.

Hi C., as the mom of kids ages 5 to 19, I say enjoy it until the feet end up in your face or stomach and you can't sleep anymore. :) Their little warm bodies and sweet smell make you really glad you're a mommy.
M.

I am a big believer in co-sleeping. Many medical professionals might frown on it. It is one of the stigma's in our society. There are many societies where co-sleeping is fundamental to each family. The mother-baby bond is one of the most sacred bonds to many civilizations. I have done it with both my babies. I have a seven year old and a four month old. My oldest stopped co-sleeping with us a week before her first birthday. She was getting so long and slept in strange positions just like her Dad does. So needless to say she has slept well on her own ever since then. Our youngest has been sleeping with me since she was born. She co-slept with me at the hospital and we continue to do so. I see no problem with it. I personally don't care what anyone thinks about it. My philosophy has been it is good for baby it is good for Mom and Dad. My children love it and because of it we all are really close. I agree that everyone has to do what is best for their situations. I will never be able to understand couples who have their newborns sleep in separate rooms or why some people bottle feed over breastfeeding when breastfeeding is best. Everyone's life situations are different whether I understand or not. My advice is to do what is best for you. Your baby is only a baby once miracle or not. Enjoy the baby as much as you can. They grow up to fast. The bond you have now is what will keep you together through life. God Bless and good luck.

S.

hi! i have a 2and a halph son and a 8 mo old girl. i co slept with noah for the first year of his life. i must admit it was a little hard getting him to sleep on his own after a year. we eventually figured out the method where you sit on the end of the bed while your child falls asleep and then slowly creep out more and more each night until your outside the room. it gave noah a sense of security thinking we were outside the door. it only took about 5 nights!!! i think that was my biggest thing was knowing he would be able to adjust once we wer ready to stop family bedding,and he did fine! you will know when YOUR ready to get your little doll in her own bed. it sounds like you know what you want. i would just tell people thanks for the advice, but we know whats right for our baby. we are currently cosleeping with our daughter and i honestly think i enjoy it more because i realize what a short time this is in the whole spectrum of things. enjoy your baby! K.

Hi C.!

My 3 year old, slept with my hubby and I until last year. When he was first born, we were both like he is going to sleep in his own room/bed. He did, though when he was a month old, we started to travel with my husband more for work. So he started to sleep with us. Well we had ourselves convinced that it was just while on the road. When we are home he will sleep in his own room. That never happened. He slept with us until he was 2.
When our 10 month old was born, we were not going thru what we went thru with our 3 year old. As much as we loved having our son sleep with us, we enjoy just us. So our 10 month old shares a room with his brother and sleeps in his own bed. Have to say though, that our 3 year old wakes up more than our 10 month old. :(

LOVED co-sleeping but just not in the long run

Oh yeh - and about your post. Go for it! I think Co-sleeping is amazing! My son just turned 5 and my twin girls are 3 1/2. They all co-slept and still do. Now they start in their bed - they all 3 sleep sideways on a double bed in the girls room. And about 1:00am or so they start making their way into our bed. (We have a king size for that very reason) They now slide right on in bed without even waking us most times. They fit perfectly snuggled next to me and my hubby. I don't blame you - taking that long to wait for your little miracle I'd want to spend every waking AND SLEEPING moment with her too. And for icing on the cake - studies show that cosleeping creates independent children due to the sense of security you are instilling in them. :)

hi C. my name is C.. I know everyone does their own thing but when I read your request I felt the need to respond. When considering co-sleeping, along with how your child will sleep on her own in the future, you should consider the health issues as well. I know doctors tell us lots of things and sometimes we mold their "way" into our own but I know first-hand(well I guess in would be second- hand) that co-sleeping is extremely dangerous. I'd read it in all the books and been lectured by doctors and what not but I still slept with my son for the first coulpe of months. Until one of my good friends killed his son. His baby was 6 months old and perfectly healthy and one day he decided to lay down and take a nap with him. He woke up 20 minutes later nad his son was dead. He hadn't rolled over on top of him, just simply moved his arm and it layed across the baby's face. I'm sure you'll say ohh I dont toss and turn, or I would wake-up...well he thought those things too. It just sounded to me like you tried extremely hard to have that precious baby and I'm sure it would be absolutely horrid if something happened to her. Just thought I'd throw that out for you to consider.

My husband and I have co-slept with the youngest 2 of our 4 children. It just sort of worked out that way with # 3 because she had health problems and we wanted her close. Then, with # 4 it wasn't even a question. I didn't even buy a crib for # 4.

Let's put it this way. We had to teach the oldest girls to watch tv with the youngest if we ever wanted to be alone. Our love live is practically non-existant, at least it used to be. Now it doesn't exist. We still get a long and have been married for 21 years. So it's not a bad thing necessarily.

I'm glad we've done it. I'm very close to my girls. I wouldn't really want it any other way. But I do at times tell people the truth of the matter. We finally got our 3rd daughter to sleep in her own room and her own bed when she was 9 years old. # 4 came a long exactly 1 year later. That should pretty much tell the story.

My husband loves sleeping with her as much as I do. We used to have a couple of our kids in bed with us because we'd all fall asleep watching tv. We always wear pajamas and it's all very family oriented. I just don't know how many men would really like it.

Suzi

I am all for co-sleeping. I realize this is the midwest which simply isn't so progressive. The MOST important thing is to always always follow what YOU know to be right for your baby. You may wish to check Dr Sears website about this topic. He is a pediatrician and is more attachment focused. I hope you will read them and trust that what you are doing is done all around the world safely and securely.
The website is:
http://iparenting.com/sears/columns/co-sleep.htm
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T071000.asp

i hate to say this but my son is going to be 5years old and he still wont sleep by himself. He has bad dreams at night when hes alone and either i end up asleep in his bed (not on purpose i usually just crash out trying to get him back to sleep) or i wake up with him in my bed. I have heard the bad but i have also heard that a family that sleeps together are a closer family.So dont listen to other people theres not one thing wrong with my son and you should enjoy having her close while you can cause it wont last long.

Hi C. I just wanted to share my business with you if you're interested. It is home based and you only have to work 7 - 10 hrs a week. The income potential is limitless and the company and it's products are incredible. Let me know if you want to hear more...this could be a way for you to stay at home with your little miracle! As far as co-sleeping...I wouldn't do it with my husband because he's such a deep sleeper I'd be afraid he'd roll over on her. I'm a real light sleeper though and I might consider it if it wasn't for my big lug of a husband.

I had a puker...the minute he started crying he started puking...never once slept in his crib or bassinet...Nope, you're not the only one...I will tell you though...at some point you are going to have to let go. Hubby will start to resent the child being in bed and not getting his own snuggle time AND the child will start taking over your bed...I would start weening her out of the bed about the so time soon after you start weening her from breastfeeding. Make a big deal about her big girl room and big girl bed...leave a light on for her...let her know you can hear her if she cries...and are always there for her and she can come snuggle anytime after the sun comes up or if she gets scared. Don't be too hard on yourself...and trust your instinct...I know where you are sister...all I ever wanted was my two children and watching them snuggled into me and sleeping...well there is no greater gift on earth! Best to you and yours. L. B

I would just like to say that if it were not for co-sleeping, I don't think I would have been able to make it trough the first few months of motherhood, and for several reasons. One, I, too, amd a full-time working mother and it devastated me to have to go back to work. I ached for my little baby all day long and so to come home from work only to put her to bed 2-3 ours later seemed out of the question. Nighttime was our special time, and I believe it helped me nurse her for as long as I did. Two, I don't see how I could have ever gotten up 5 times a night to nurse my baby and still worked and 8 hour day the next day. Co-sleeping helped me keep my sanity.

At nine or ten months, we weaned our daughter out of our bed. She had just really come into her own, and was very excited to be with us and wanted to play all the time. She no longer rolled over and quietly nursed herself back to sleep, but she would wake up at 3 a.m. singing, clapping and ready to party. It stopped being effective as far as getting sleep went, so over the course of a few weeks, we started getting a routine set for bed time. It was certainly an adjustment, and there were nights I didn't think I could do it. I swore I would never let my baby cry herself to sleep, but I think it's a little more "humane" when they are not little infants. The key to eventually weaning from the bed is a really fun, relaxing bed time routine. My daughter is 14 months now, and she sleeps in her own bed now. She doesn't aways "sleep through the night" ( a funny little myth, I think...) but I think it comes from my obsessive checking in on her. plus, I was still nursing her up until about a month ago, so she still woke frequently for feedings.

I know this is a lengthy message, but co-sleeping is something I feel very strongly about. Outsiders who have never done it just don't understand the subtleties of it...how you would never "roll over" on your child, because you are always so aware of their presence, even in your deepest sleep. I loved my time co-sleeping with my daughter. I still have pangs when I go to bed at night, wishing she was snuggled next to me, but I can see her sleeping soundly. all sprawled out, in her bed just down the hall.

I know there have been horror stories about co-sleeping; about people suffocating their babies, etc. If you do co-sleep, use a little bit of common sense, like not drinking alcohol or taking sleeping pills that would decrese your sensitivity. But otherwise, I believe co-sleeping to be a wonderful bonding experience, especially for the mothers who work away from their baies all day.

I have co-slept with all three of my daughters (6, 3 & 1). It was so much easier on me to just roll over to feed them in the night instead of getting up. Plus, they slept so well next to me that I saw no reason to put them in their own bed. The six year old and the three year old sleep in their own beds now and the transition was not as difficult as the people that admonished me for co-sleeping said it would be. Were there nights that were a little tough? Yes. Did it feel like they would never leave my bed? No. All transitions are tough. Getting rid of the binkies was tough. Potty training was tough. BUt- it's more about the child's personality than anything as to how easily it will go. My first resisted it for a while. My second went to her own bed without ever looking back. Why do we feel that we need to teach our three-year-olds to be independent? I've found that my children are so secure in knowing I am there for them without fail that they have become increasingly independent on their own time table. They're only little once and have plaenty of time to grow up and become "independent". You need to do what's right for yourself and your family and it sounds like co-sleeping is what's right for you. Like you said, it's only a little span of your life and your daughter's life where you get to do this, enjoy it while it lasts.

As far as safety- co-sleeping has been proven very safe. When it's unsafe is when one of the adults in the bed is under the influence of drugs or alcohol or if there is an older sibling in the bed. Studies have shown that co-sleeping babies have a much lower incidence of SIDS than crib sleepers. I'm not going to go find the links to the research, but if you Google it, it's out there.

I am a big advocate of co-sleeping. It is different for everyone but I have found that my son sleeps best when he is in bed w/ us. My husband prefers our son not sleep in our bed but when he goes to work . . . LOL!!!

I just wanted to say that Cosleeping was/is great for my family. I coslept with my eldest until she was 9. My kids are now 5 and 12 and they still sleep with us from time to time, but prefer to sleep in their own room together on the floor. (They have beds, they just prefer to snuggle on the floor.) Who am I to question what makes them comfortable? *chu8ckle*

Like everyone else said, it is your family, your bed, and your life. I don't think anyone has any right to tell you what to do in the privacy of your own home. As long as everyone is happy and healthy, there is nothing to worry about. *smile*

C.:

You are going to get all kinds of advice (pro/con) on co-sleeping, but you will eventually have to make up your own mind. I am on the "con" side. I do not see anything wrong with having your baby "next" to you in in a bassinet. However, sleeping in an adult bed is unsafe for a baby. Adult pillows, soft bedding....can equal suffocation. I worked with a client years ago, after her baby died when she rolled over on him. Sad, but true. The co-sleeping sounds like it is more for you, than your little one. Be safe, and take her out of your bed and put her next to you. Also, for my second "con".....check out all the posts on woman who can't get there 3 year old to sleep in their own bed!

A.

We let our daughter sleep with us for many of the same reasons you listed--she was our last baby, she was so sweet, we wanted to spend every second possible with her, etc. WELLLL... 10 years later, she STILL tries to sneak into bed with us, which wouldn't be so bad except there have been some...um...close calls, if you know what I mean, when my husband and I were trying to have private time together. I'm not coming out against it--after all, I did it too--but I just want to let you know of what you're setting yourself up for down the road. Good luck, and congratulations on your new baby!

America is the only country that does not incourage co sleeping. Children naturaly want there own rooms somewhere between 4-7 depending on child & security of their lives. If it works for you great, if it doesn't thats ok too. If partial co sleeping is what works then that's good too. The point is every family is different & what is right for you may be different that what is right for others. Enjoy your lil' one.
K.

C.,

I don't have much different to say from the other moms but appreciate your questions. I LOVE co-sleeping with my daughter. She is 14 months old and I am expecting another at the end of April and am worried about how she will transition to her own room. My husband has two older children and while they slept in a bassinet in his and his ex's bedroom until they were about 5 months old, they never slept in the bed with them. Now 12 years later, we are older and need more sleep. Our little angel slept in a bassinet for the first 6 months and then we started putting her in her crib at around 6 months. I started out ok and she would go to sleep fine but since we were both working full time, getting up at night to feed and get her back to sleep was wearing on us. Then she got a really bad cold and would wake up coughing every 20 minutes or so and was so uncomfortable she could not go back to sleep. So, long story short, we put her in bed with us and we all got a good night sleep. She has been there ever since and I love snuggling with her, when she is not kicking me in the face that is.

My husband and I are still able to sneak some private time but it has put a damper on our love life. However, my opinion is that my husband and I will be sharing our bed for the rest of our lives and we will only have the baby sleeping with us for a little while.

Hopefully, you won't see me requesting help on how to transition from co-sleeping to getting our daughter to sleep in her own bed. We will be starting soon because I know that once I am in my third trimester I won't want to share our bed, even if it is a king!

A little about me: 34 year old,full-time working mom of a beautiful 14 month old daughter and a 13 year old step-daughter and 12 year old step-son, who love their little sister more than anything in the world and are great helpers. Expecting another at the end of April.

I'm in favor of co-sleeping. My 13 month old stopped breathing a few hours after I brought him home from the hospital. He was diagnosed with GERD. He had to sleep in his carseat or bouncy for months. It was a while ago, but I still like to have him close at hand at night and I still wake up to make sure he's breathing. He does nap in his crib and I'm thinking of transitioning him. He's quite acrobatic when he's asleep, so its probably time. The bottom line is that everyone has to do what is right for them and their child(ren).

C., I understand your excitement about your baby girl & congrats on being able to conceive your precious angel.From what I read, your gonna continue letting your baby sleep with you and your husband, so therefore, all the advise in the world won't convince you otherwise. good luck in the future with your new family. B.

I have a 14month old son and since he was born he always slept with me too. My doctor told me that it is okay to have a child sleep with you but about the time they turn one you should start kicking them out of your bed. My son goes to bed in is own bed, but will usually wake up about 5 or 6 in the morning and get into bed with me until he wakes up about 9. I am really enjoying him being in his own bed for most of the night now because I can have some time with my husband.

I know you don't want to be scolded about having your little darling sleeping in the same bed as you. I know you have been warned about what troubles will await you when she gets older. But there's something else you will need to consider -- what is the daddy's view on this? Make sure he doesn't feel left out or that your daughter doesn't get more attention! Especially after a baby is born and brought into a family the man of the family kinda feels a little separated from the mom and the child sometimes... just keep that in mind. The other worry would be accidently rolling over on top of your daughter in your sleep... or her falling off the bed when she gets a little older and moves around more. My daughter is 15 months old right now and when she was born she slept in a bassonet right next to my bed so I could hear her breathing (my daughter is named after my sister who died at 6 months old from SIDS so believe me I was frightened to death and was very very very paranoid about the whole breathing thing)... when she got too big for that I moved her to her own room with the crib, put up a baby moniter so I could always hear her from my room (right across the hall) and no nightlights, just dark with the door closed... she still sleeps that way, no problems whatsoever about putting her down to bed, I ALWAYS give her attention before putting her to bed, make sure everything is totally okay, and close the door. Some days she cries but only for a couple minutes (the first time I put her in there by herself I had to close the door and plug my ears so I wouldn't hear her cry cuz it broke my heart -- it lasted about 20 minutes but she finally fell asleep... I went in there as soon as she quieted down and she was just fine.) The following night I did it again, and she didn't cry again. (not like that). I'm lucky cuz I know alot of first time moms that can't get their child to bed at all without the child ruling the roost. Remember yes your little sweet daughter is the joy of your life but it is your duty as a mother to train that child. Your daughter will grow so much in the next 6 months, she'll be crawling and walking and she'll need to be in her own bed well before then. Decide with your husband/boyfriend what is best... maybe another month and then start her in her own place... children also need to their independence... even this early. And so do you and so does your significant other. Congrats on being able to have this little miracle baby... she really makes everything worth while huh?! :)

Reading your posting I can relate to every word. I have been scolded as well. My daughter had colic for the first 10 weeks or so and once we got her to sleep you did whatever you could to keep her sleeping until the next feeding. I tried to put her in her crib at about 6 months (when she outgrew the bassinet by my bedside). I too wanted her near me. She is fast to wake in the middle of the night and if she is standing by the time you reach her you can forget her sleeping in her bed, I would be up all night. She, of course, sleeps better in our bed. She fights sleep when it comes to naps and bedtime so she often, if not always, sleeps with us. I agree that they are only this little once and I too want to enjoy every moment (although I can understand how intensely precious they feel to you). My daughter is now 15 months and sometime she sleeps in her bed but it is not often. I usually try about once a week or two just so she stays comfortable in the room and bed, I don't want it to become fearful place and want to her feel comfortable sleeping there for the time when she is transitioned on a more permanent basis. I would suggest if you are worried about it then just try using her crib at naptime so that it becomes as natural to sleep there as your bed.
The way I see it I will cross that bridge when it comes such as another child comes along and makes it more difficult or if it becomes unhealhty for her in some way. Until then if you don't mind I don't see the problem.

Hey, just wanted to say that you have to do what works for you!! My husband NEVER woke up with Gracie and I was falling asleep during the day while talking to someone because I was so tired. I breastfed and learned that I could nurse on my side and it was the best thing that ever happened. She is 3 and a half now and is still in my bed, not so much because of her but I like her being there!!

You've made your decision. Don't worry about other people and their opinions and experiences. Are you happy? Is your baby happy? What about Hubby? Doesn't sound like this is a problem for your family.