CLUTTER Is Making Me CRAZY!!

Hi, C.
I had this same problem in my house, and I have a foolproof way to fix it, if you don't mind getting a little extreme. When I was faced with this same problem, I gave everyone 1 warning to pick up their mess and put it away. No nagging...no reminding....nothing more than 1 warning. Then, I simply picked up everything( and I mean EVERYTHING, clothes, trash, cups and dishes, shoes, etc) that wasn't in it's proper place and threw it in a large trash bag. You don't actually have to throw anything away, but make the threat and keep the bag inaccessible. After about two or three times of having to did their shoes out of the trash or getting dried on cheese off their (hubby) wallets, they will learn to picj up after themselves. I know it sounds extreme, but I did it and have never had to pick up after my family again. That was 6 years ago. When they all start to backslide, I just remind them of the Hefty bag and it's amazing how fast everything gets to it's proper place.
Good luck!
S.

My mother in law used to hold the kid's shoes/clothes etc for ransom. They had to pay $1 to get whatever back.
I think a couple of times I had a laundry basket hidden and things just "disappeared." If it didn't mean enough to them to keep it off the floor, many times they didn't realize it was gone.

Lori k

C. I feel for you. I am in the same boat. Only except that my whole kitchen is so bad that the only spots to sit something are where we eat. We have an island and everything just gets thrown there. My husband used playmate coolers for lunch boxes and so now I do not have a cooler to put stuff into because they are full of important papers and he just left for 4 and a half months of school. Well I am hopping against hope that while he is gone I can change some of my bad habits and my kids as well. My 2 year olds toys are all over the living room. He refuses to pick up so now when I pick up they go in a trash bag and they go down stairs. I did this with my daughter and once a week I used to get the bags out of hidding and give her one or two items at a time to put away and as long as she kept putting them away she got to empty the bags. It did not take her long to catch on. However my son will help throw his toys away instead of picking up. So I started just putting them down stairs. He might never end up with them back in my living room which is fine with me. We have a rule for all but the adults that shoes get taken off at the door and they are to be put under the chair by the door. It helps keep all the shoes together as well as no mud gets tracked into the house past my kitchen floor. We hardly ever use the front door.

www.flylady.net While are first it will seem overwhelming, IT WILL WORK!! It is much nicer to have peace in your home than to be constantly yelling and screaming. If you think about it, if that's what you are already doing and it isn't working, maybe you should change your tactics? The only thing the yelling will accomplish is to give yourself a nice ulcer, and make the rest of your family "immune" to hearing you. Flylady does work - I'm a good example!!

My best to you and your family. Use babysteps!

I totally understand what your saying. People tell me not to let it bother me and clean it up some other day, but I just cant, I hate it when my kidless friends come over and think Im raising monkeys. So this is going to sound really mean, but when my daughter leaves toys in every single room and is rapidly getting more things out, I threaten to throw it away. I have gotten a garbage bag out twice, I havent actually thrown anything away yet, but it freaks her out and she cleans up. She is only 4 so I do give her a break, I know sometimes she just forgets. And my husband came home from work last week and just took off his nasty socks and threw them in them middle of the living room floor. I asked him three times to pick up his funky socks because I was trying to clean and he didnt, so I threw them away. I said I guess you didnt need those socks =). Its annoying. Im not going to lie Im a clean freak. I have it pretty under control, my daughter even makes her bed everyday. Some people say Im crazy but I dont care, I dont want my house to look disgusting. I appraise houses so I go into other peoples houses all the time, and 9 times out of 10 its a digusting mess. Makes me want to run home and clean. Another thing with the kids, before another holiday comes, I go through their stuff and get rid of some things before they get even more toys so It stays under control. I think kids should be punished if they make messes like that and dont clean it up, its just like anything else really. Some people say, I dont know what to do, they wont pick it up? Give them chores and inforce it, otherwise you will be their maid for life. There really is no big secret to keeping your house clean besides the fact that you have to clean A LOT. I think if you keep up with it, its so much easier than letting it get out of control and then trying to do it. Do 1-2 loads of laundry a day rather than letting it pile up for a week and then having 6-10 loads to do, its overwhelming and your less likely to do it. I also told my husband if hes not willing to help me, I would gladly pay someone to. You can also manipulate your husband, like, "Honey I would love to spend some "time" with you but I just cant because I have to clean this whole house BY MYSELF!" And by the way, my husband is doing SO much better with the housework!!=)

For the children, perhaps no playing, outside or inside, until they put backpacks, coats, shoes aways, etc after school. When you get the house organized maybe you could sit everyone down, at the same time, and go over your expectations. Then everyone is hearing it and it is clear what you want. There is no reason they can't pick their things up and put them away, at their ages. I make my 21 mos. old son put his toys away before we leave the house and before bed. I feel as though it is not doing him any favors to have someone else do everything for him. I was an elementary school teacher, before my son was born, and I had the same rules at school. Teachers and parents are not servants. They are there to HELP you grow and succeed but not to wait on you. I also believe if they have had a warning, it should go into a bag and head for Goodwill. Right now we are living in a very poor international country and it sickens me to think of all the junk we accumulate in the U.S. ... while there are people who can't even provide food for their families. It has put our own excesses in perspective. Good luck!!

Good Morning C., I know the feeling, It's just hubby and I here now in the evenings. I do keep two gr son's during the day. Hubby is very neat and helps pick up, he would make a great Mr. Mom.
I made job charts when the boys were home.
If you drop it PICK it up
If it's open Close it.
If you get it out, put it back
If you made a mess you Clean it up. etc..

I even taught them to do their own laundry when they were 8-10 cause Mama didn't like finding their clean cloths still folded in the hamper or under the bed.

I have one gr son vacuuming cheerios off the floor. I have a little upright Shark vac he uses. He loves it and asks sometimes to vac for me. Even if it doesn't need it, he wants to help Nana.

But right now for you C. sounds like a family meeting is in order. Your not their maid. It's obvious though they didn't pick up on your clutter aversion. So until you get them to see it and fix it, you will continue to be the main picker upper. They are differently old enough to make their bed's pick up after themselves. We make it hard sometimes being new mama's we want to do everything for everyone. They never learn responsibility this way. Until we Blow!!!Then we expect them to jump right in there and work through the fray too.

My home is never picture perfect, I always stressed to when company was coming. Threw things in rooms and closed the doors. Especially my mom! They would come over and stay maybe 20-30 minutes and leave if I happened to have newspapers on the coffee table or a toy under the couch. My Mom's house was always in perfect condition. I think that is why I might have a aversion to cleaning, there are so many things more fun and exciting then cleaning. I kept my mom's house clean and picked up from the age of 13 when she divorced remarried, and returned to work and I watched my brother(10) & sister (3), before school and after. Started dinner and cleaned up after. Made sure homework was started or finished. I got really good at using a broom on the carpet before she got home instead of dragging out the big vac. I was setting the table and doing dishes from age 8, every day.

Of course if all else fails, you could always turn in to a Lion tamer and grab a Whip and Chair.

I wish you the very best C., some times it's easier to relax and have fun. But that is just me
K. Nana of 5

If you give your little ones an allowance of any kind, this might work:

My girlfriend charges a quarter for each item found not in it's place at the end of the day. She deducts it from their weekly allowance and keeps a tally sheet on the fridge. When her girls get 25 cents at the end of the week instead of $2, they get motivated to pick up! If they go over, they pay her instead of receiving an allowance. It's helped her out a lot.

Start putting their stuff in the trash and they will quit leaving it on the floor. It is hard but stick to your guns and it will have a major effect without you yelling. Tell them ahead of time so there are no misunderstandings as to what will happen to their stuff.

Good luck,
D.

Hi C.

You are not alone in this! As you can see from others posting they deal with it too. In our home, if the kids do not put their things away, I throw it away. I threaten to throw it away and then they start to pick up. A friend of mine comes out once a week for three hours to help clean whatever needs to be cleaned. (My sisters call her my maid, I call her a friend who helps me.) With the friend helping, I tell my husband what day she is coming and he takes the trash out (no garbage service on the farm) that morning before she arrives.

Get creative, you'll find ways to get everyone to help. It is everyone's mess so it is everyone's responsibility! Another way to think of it is that you job as a mother is to make sure your kids can take care of themselves when they grow up. I told my 7 yr old that and now he picks out his clothes and ties his shoes!

Best Wishes,

J. H.

I hear ya'! We came up with a compromise solution for the shoe problem. Find a bin or basket for each family member and line them up along the wall right by the main entry door. When your darling mess-makers come inside they just kick off their shoes into their bin. If the bin gets too full, it's time to transfer some shoes back up to their closets. But this way the shoes they wear most often are easy to find when it's time to go but not scattered all over the floor. It only took a few days to become a habit.

I found that yelling in the moment didn't work! I would yell, they would keep walking. I waited until the end of the day (when things were the most messy) and took them to the mess or messes. I calmly said. "I am tired of cleaning up your stuff. If you want to leave a mess -it needs to be in your room. The next time you leave your stuff in the middle of the floor - I am going to TAKE it! Whatever it is, shoes, toys, clothes, coat. You will not get it back until you pick up your mess!" The next day, my son dropped his shoes and coat at the door and I took them and put them. When he got up to go play, he didn't have shoes or coat to go outside. I told him, he could get it back after he picked up his mess. I took my daughters toys too. I only had to do it a couple of time before they got the message!

For yourself and your family, check out the FLY Lady at http://www.flylady.net/, and for children (including hubby! lol!) check out the House Fairy at http://www.housefairy.org/. You CAN do it and see a world of difference!!

We only function because of flylady.net, and housefairy.org. Seriously, check it out, you will not regret it!!!!!!!!!!!!

C.-

Girlfriend I'm checking back on this blog and seeing what everyone's response is. Mine are 17, 13, and 10 not including my husband too. They seem to think the "M" in MOM is for MAID!!!! Two weeks ago I had a meltdown because everyone ditched me and I was left cleaning the house! It's frustrating to have 5 living under one roof and only one who seems to care about keeping up on stuff. I work full time and run a part time business on the side and if I'm not constantly staying something it just doesn't get done. Then I get told by everyone "Mom's in a bad mood" "Is someone coming over is that why we are cleaning?" I hear you about being stressed out!!

One room at a time! If it's really cluttered - one area of one room at a time. Go through it with 3-4 boxes - one for trash, one for garage sale, one for donation, one for other family members. I started this way last year. I had 3 garage sales and made $800. I still have lots of things to sort through and get rid of, but having a plan (and small baby steps) helped me a lot. I also do www.freecycle.org because I hate to throw anything away! It's overwhelming to think, 'I have to get rid of all of this'...but to think, 'I'll do it over the whole summer, have a few sales' really helped me focus.

We also have a commission chart for our daughter with commissionable chores. And a fines section. She can earn up to $2 a week and fines cost 10 cents per fine. She then has three envelopes for her earnings (give, save, spend). We're teaching her about helping and about money - Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace Jr. She's going to be 6 soon. There are many things on her commission chart that are just marked "family", meaning doing them are part of being a family.

I think a couple of things, do lighten up some and remember that a well lived in house looks lived in...And, ask for some help. You will teach your kids life skills. I find my daughter actually likes the routine of helping. She's the one who throws the laundry to the basement, she puts her coats and back pack on their hooks, she puts her shoes in her shoe basket, sets the table, clears the table and wipes the table. She picks up her toys. Most of these things with a little help. When she does it, we praise her so highly that she can't wait to do it again. (this was even before we started with our commissions)

You might try the list on the fridge and check marks. The fines could be 5 minutes of no TV or whatever they like - taken away for each fine.

Good luck to you,
K.

Well I feel for you since I've struggled all my life to keep a clean orderly house. I've finally made some progress but my kids are grown and gone. I can't even blame it on them.

I don't have any advice really except do you have a large leaf rake? The fan shaped with plastic prongs? Get a big trash barrel and rake all mess into a pile and then load the rake and dump it in the barrel. Don't throw it away, just leave it. Add toit as the piles accumulate and maybe even get new barrels. Put the barrels in the garage or outside. I dont' know if this will change their attitude or not but it will make it lots easier on you and your back. Actually the rake does make it so much easier and it fluffs your carpet too. Your house will sure look better.

When my children were very small we lived in a little 2 bedroom house. I had 2 baby beds and a twin bed in one small bedroom. The rake worked great for their toys. Even if you don't do the barrel but just leave the pile, it helps. Now if you do this you have to act the part. Don't get mad and yell just tell them that from now on this is the way you have to do it to protect your back. You can't laugh though or you will lose your momentum. Wouldn't it be better to just rake up their stuff then to spend hours being mad at them? If you have an empty closet you could just rake it into that.

I totally get it! I periodically conference with my husband about how this is a sign of disrespect...not only to me....but to himself.

I have bagged it all, I have stashed it all away. I have nagged & been witchy about it. I realized that I was expending so much energy & passion on what was wrong with them....that I was making my life miserable. Sooo, I no longer yell at them.

My younger son's chore is to pick up after his father. He is paid to do this, & he does not consider the pay adequate. Which means that he hounds his father by shaming him. I don't care how mean this seems..... it's fascinating to see our son get his dad moving in a positive direction. He actually says, "OK, I'm taking care of myself. Are you, Dad?" Together they patrol their areas. With being a childcare provider, I absolutely refuse to spend the last of my night or first of my day picking up after family members.

As for laundry, I do not pick it up. I do loads every day, with one big push once a week. I announce it & it's up to the men in the house to get their laundry downstairs. I also do not put away their laundry....it is left stacked for them to address.

It has only been by backing off that I have achieved any peace.

C., your kids are old enough to help out, they just need the training, takes lots of reminders and perhaps a little motivation. I have found Husbands are the same way ; )
If you sit your hubby down and calmly tell him how much it is wearing on you and ask if he can at least be responsible for his things, it might help, and then gentle reminders, nagging only adds to the stress ( yours)

Make a clutter free zone...as soon as you see someone start to drop something tell them immediately it does not go there...set goals for the kids...I am not totally against bribery even, it can be as simple as an extra hour of computer/tv time, or a day with mom for a week of not having to be told to leave there belongings left out. Confiscate things for a week that are left where they are not supposed to be...get everyone a small basket and toss individuals stuff there and when they whine that they can't find such and such direct them to the basket. Just some suggestions...but ultimately the best is to get everyone responsible for his or her things because well, that is preparing them to be more orginized later in life ( which is important)

Also I know it sounds silly but flylady.com will help you stay motivated to clean, make cleaning more fun, and help you with clutter busters = ) I love the fling boogie...it is LIBERATING

Get those kiddos involved, it will do you all a world of good...the earlier you start them on it the less of a battle it will be...cleaning doesn't have to become a "chore" it can be something that is a "responsibility" a "kindness" and a "life skill" = )

As a mom to 3, and the wife of a hubby that drops his dirty socks on the side of the bed and under his computer desk
( I feel your pain!!!)

Lots of luck
B.

Let's start a club! :) It's the same scene at my house. But, I have to tell you, unfortunately, we have a hand in creating this monster because we have trained our husbands and children that they don't have to consistently pick up because we'll do it all.

My oldest is 9 yrs and my littlest is almost 2 yrs with two in-between. I have had to learn that this is just a season in my life and one day my kids will be grown and out of the house and then I'll have lots more time to have the cleanest house on the block. So long story short, it's okay to accept living in a "lived in" house for now and when we have special occasions like having family over for birthday's than I do enlist everyone's help to pick up and clean up. I have also told my husband how I feel so that we can be on the same page and he has made a better effort to help me with the dinner dishes and laundry. As for the rest of the house, my older two are big enough to help pick up their own toys and shoes now plus make their beds. I've learned that it doesn't have to be perfect and just appreciate the help.

As for having to constantly remind them...well, you can try positive reinforcement when you catch them doing something good without being told or you can also try taking away their beloved games or playtime until the chores are finished after being asked once to get them done. Sometimes it literally takes walking up the stairs with them and getting them started by showing them what you want done instead of just yelling. Good luck and take a deep breath...this too shall pass...and just at least keep your room the way you like it at all times so you can have a retreat.

Don't pick up the kids stuff. They are old enough to do that. Just leave it and when they want something, someone over, or go somewhere tell them they have to pick up all their stuff before that can happen. As for your husband good luck. I guess you could try and tell him that you really don't like the house like this and he is setting an example for the kids by not helping. My prayers are with you as I have 3 girls and it is always a battle here.

If it's on the floor, it's in the trash - and DO IT. Just once with their favorite thing thrown away & they will get the point. A friend's son even picked up his dad's things so they wouldn't get thrown away. Maybe give them a heads up first, like tell them they have 10 minutes or it's gone.

I know someone has already said this but Fly Lady is wonderful. I began to see a differance right away and they even have a flying program for kids.

Good Luck.

If you find a solution...PLEASE let me know! I am in the same boat.
D.

Okie Dokie,You have quite a lot of responds. We all know for sure that clutters added stress in our life and organization is contradict to it. You did not mention about your oganization skill. Let's face it, house with kids is totally different than the one with adults only. However, I think it does not have to be that bad! To me, my house with kids 6 and 23 months look OK. I found myself did not get angry or yell when I saw stuffs everywhere ANYMORE. I have more time to do others things than trying to keep the house clean. When we have visitor I feel very good because the house is clean and they can come anytime. I just need a quick phone call to let me know when they come so I make sure that I am home. I donot have to lie to tell them to wait about 1 or 2 hours inorder for me to clean my house or even 15 minutes to just throw all mess behind the closed door. They can come right away! We need companies here :-). All of this is not about quick trick or else? If you satisfied with my advice and trusted my highly organization skills, you welcome to email me at ____@____.com others to stop stuffs that causing headache and stress is my mission.

What will help is to hold everyone accountable. Do Not Do For them. If it is a toy have a basket that is for those left on the floor after being told to pick up. Those toys get put away and not allowed to play with until you decide they can put it away the next time.
I would not allow toys out of the toy area. Kids have to be shown where to put things to be sure they aren't confused where to put stuff or that could be part of the problem.
Use bins marked and make sure they know what they say color code is fun. Then CLOTHS, okay make them pick it up and show them where to put it. Tell dad to lead by example. He can help direct them too. If you pick up after them that sends them the message its okay and even you you yell as you are picking them up they feel its no biggy for you to continue. Get it. No yell Just DIRECT the order, you are the pack leader and must be aggressive assertive as the dog whisperer says. Goes for people too. You call where the toys or cloths lay and instruct who is to pick it up. If they don't leave it lay there and give time out or punishment and then redirect the order when punishment is through. Reward for the good they do also. When they follow orders then they get a special treat or reward. They must feel how you feel picking stuff up to avoid wanting to do it themselves. Good luck stay firm and loving.

As you pick things up put them into a garbage bag. Put the garbage back somewhere where they don't know what it is. When they ask for a particular toy tell them if they can't find it then it probably got thrown away especially if it was on the floor. As for clothes, put them somewhere where they won't get washed. When you child asks where it is tell them if it wasn't in the dirty clothes basket then it didn't get washed. Oh well. They are 10 and 6 and are old enough to know better. Once things start dissappearing then they'll realize what has been going on and hopefully come to their senses. Hope this helps somewhat. Good luck and God Bless.

Hi C.,

For the kids: wonderful advice from Ashley R.

For Hubby: good luck on that one!! :)

Angie

I am just like you! Your children are older so habits are formed... I would suggest you go buy pretty baskets and put in all main areas, Hallways, Kitchen, Familyroom etc...IF you can get them to put stuff in them instead of the floor great, if not you put clutter in them during the day at first. Not putting items away for them but putting them just in the basket in that room. Then each night a different family member is responsible for each basket (rotate them) Have THEM put the clutter away every night, no matter who it belongs to. They will then be putting the mess away at night and perhaps stop dropping things if they know they are going to end up putting them away in the end. I would try it you have nothing to loose? Good Luck, J. H

Hello C., I am the type of person that can't stand clutter myself. I have four children 10,8,6,4 and a husband who is on the road most of the time for work, who can make a bigger mess then the kids sometimes. I am not only a full time mom but I work full time aswell. and my solution to you is, cut out all the things they love. gather all the things that are missed placed in the house (clothes,toys ect..) put them in piles according to family member, and for every item take away time from the playstation. ( for every item thats 5 min. your son cannot play his games. example, you find a sock, shirt, towel, a pair of shoes. Your son just lost 25 min. off of game time. And for your husband can you guess what he may lose? thats right after all your back hurts from bending over to pick his mess up, so there for it hurts to bad to give him sex that night. so good luck with your situation. let me know if it works.

I just wanted to share that I definitely feel your stress! I have a husband who doesn't clean up after himself, and thinks I should do everything. He just collects unemployment since he's laid off and he's not trying very hard to find another job.
And I have a three yr-old boy, a two-yr-old girl, and a 3-month old girl.... and my tots do help me clean up but they just aren't old enough to do it for themselves yet.
And I am so exhausetd and always behind on housework. And on top of that, hubby yells at for not having the house clean!! And he sure doesn't offer a helping hand with anything!
and on top of THAT my bother-in-law died in november and we are trying to clean out his his house and pack stuff up and sell stuff in yard sales... and I am the only one really trying...
Plus I'm spring cleaning my own house (trying to anyway!) and it just never looks good to have company over, and my husband always says it's an embarrassment but of course he's not pitching in!
Definitely stressed here too.
I actually look forward to escaping to the computer to pay bills, check emails, and then read the paper. That's my me time, and even when the house is a mess, it's important to relax and take time for yourself, don't forget about you.

Hello C.!
Oh..I really do understand you so much. I have been there, but there is not reason at all that I will come back to that point again. My house is not the most tidy and neat, but I think it looks good and clean, at the end I have KIDS!.
Like everything else, it needs work and patience and humor! I used to be soooo mad at my boys and my husband, now it is getting so much better! Let me tell you several things that worked for me, and probably may work for you.

1) I get up earlier than anybody else, have breakfast,(I exercise for 30 min which give me energy....you don't have to) take a shower, and get ready for my day. When I get up earlier, I have time to check up on things I will do during the day, shopping list, meals list, payments...breakfast for the kids, etc.

2)For me, the kitchen and the baths are priority, and they have just to be clean. So, I clean them deeply twice a week, and I keep them daily with a quick hand using Bath cleaner and sponge, and sometimes the disinfectant wipes.

3) I have just one area in the house to put the toys in diffrent PLASTIC BINS (small or medium), the family room. The kids should pick up the toys before going out, leaving the room(they never come back to play the same after that) or going to bed. The bins are labeled with what is in there ( drawings too)

4) The older one has to make his bed every morning, I don't expect him to do it perfectly, it just has to look nice. The kids bedroom just have shelves with books, a radio/cd/player, and a couple or three stuffed animals or decorations. Rooms are just for resting or reading or listening to music(they love that while falling asleep!) that way they don't have to go there and make a mess.

5) The kids have a few chores. Both of them. The older one has to pick up the trash and the recyclables, and put them in the trash can and the bin. The little one (3 yrs)help to sort the laundry, and everything else he wants to help me with! It is the perfect age to teach the kids to help around the house. Both help me with the groceries when we get home with them, and help me to put them in its place.
I don't do charts for that anymore , and don't pay them for that because they know that keeping the house clean and nice is responsibility of everyone, and just feel so well see our home nice! However, they are always prized when they do a great job and they get a little reward after a couple weeks they are doing their job. They are taught that their job is studying and keeping THEIR HOME clean and cozy as dad and mom have their jobs too (either going to the office, teaching at home, making meals, cleaning, ironing..etc) We do pay the oldest when he does something that needs more work at his age (raking the leaves, cleaning the garage together with dad, etc...)

6) I keep plastic bins in the laundry room or in the garage too , to put all that stuff that used to be everywhere: light bulbs, gardening tools, extensions, cords, and cables, rags for cleaning, holidays decorations, and toys which I ROTATE with those I have in the family room and are still used by the kids. Those toys that are definitively not used by the kids, go to shelters, Goodwill, veterans, and those broken immediately go to the trash can! Toys are mess, the more the worst.

7) My husband is messy and he has so many things for sports, for Martial Arts, equipment, he leaves clothes everywhere. So, I left a place for him to put all his stuff of sports and I just keep reminding him (no yelling nor being upset) to leave his things in THAT place assigned to him; that makes him feel more important and special. So he is getting better at it! When he was leaving stuff on the floor, I just didn't pick it up at all, so he ended picking them up by himself.

8) Every room has a basket for dirty clothes, if they don't put their dirty clothes in there, they won't find them for a long time (I just keep them hid for some time) The same with toys, if they are not in place, they go to the trash, and they do. Do it just once and it will never be another toy out of place. It is hard, and hurts, but choose one who is easily replaced! It works!!!!

9) Something I learned from my mom: When I see something waiting for me to do it, there is no LATER..never ever.....When I say: "Oh...I have to fold laundry....." I do it just right there, no later....the same with everything, there is no LATER because is going to end piled up, or cluttered.

10) As you already have clutter, do as I learned from a TV Show: Every spring on a weekend, I put in a family room or garage 3 boxes or big bins, and I label with: "trash", "give away", "keep" Start from there and put everything that is bothering you in each box, you then THE VERY SAME DAY distribute them where it should go. You will be amazing how many things you don't need! Do it as frequently as you need to.

I hope this helps a little bit, may be is mostly ROUTINE and a DAILY work to avoid clutter, if you do first the task of the 3 boxes or bins. I have been there believe me. Keep also some signs to remind people about certain things to help you out, and most of all don't yell, they will get immune!

Most of all remember that the time you spend with your family is more important,don't sweat, just keep it nice and find places to put things where you and everyone can find it! It is DAILY work not to pick up after people, but to keep it OK, that means just maintenance.

Take care

Alejandra

I am with you C., I have the same problem and currently working on it. Let see how other moms give us some solutions, I'll get back with you to see how we can solve that.
T.